¿Quién soy?: ¿Qué significa hacernos esta pregunta? | Gabriel Pereyra | TEDxTukuy

TEDx Talks

12 Aug 201617:15

Summary

TLDRThe speaker shares a life-changing story of surviving a near-death experience while sailing. After a serious accident that left him with severe injuries, he experienced a profound sense of peace and happiness as he faced death. This incident led him to reevaluate his life and pursue a deeper understanding of himself. He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, having a purpose, and living authentically. Through his journey, he discovered that true happiness comes from understanding who you are, finding your life’s direction, and ultimately, giving back to others to make a meaningful impact.

Takeaways

🌊 A life-changing boating accident left the speaker seriously injured, with 13 broken ribs, a ruptured diaphragm, and a punctured lung.
😇 In the near-death experience, the speaker felt a profound sense of peace and happiness, believing they were about to meet God.
🤔 The incident prompted deep reflection on life, leading the speaker to focus on discovering who they truly are and what they want to achieve.
🧭 Knowing oneself is essential to living with purpose and coherence; this begins by asking the question: 'Who am I?'
💪 Discovering your true identity requires courage and persistence, as it involves confronting both your strengths and weaknesses.
🫶 Building a strong friendship with oneself is key to self-acceptance and happiness, just as we love and accept our friends despite their imperfections.
🎯 Understanding your identity helps you set clear goals and direction for your life, preventing you from living based on external expectations or societal norms.
😌 True happiness involves recognizing and pursuing the right balance of life's needs, such as love, kindness, spirituality, and purpose, rather than just material success.
💡 Finding a personal purpose or mission in life provides a sense of direction and motivation, helping to overcome daily struggles and challenges.
💞 The ultimate takeaway is that discovering who you are also helps you understand how you can contribute to others' happiness, fostering a sense of fulfillment and leaving a positive impact on the world.

Q & A

What event does the speaker describe at the beginning of the story?
-The speaker describes a sailing accident where a large wave overturned their boat, leaving them in the middle of the ocean with a damaged vessel and no means of controlling it.
What injuries did the speaker sustain during the accident?
-The speaker suffered 13 broken ribs, a ruptured diaphragm, and a punctured lung after the boat was thrown on top of them by a large wave.
How did the speaker describe their near-death experience?
-The speaker felt as though they were drifting away from their physical senses, becoming distant from pain and voices around them, and they believed they were dying. However, they also experienced a deep sense of happiness and peace during this moment.
What realization did the speaker have when they thought they were dying?
-The speaker felt profound happiness because they believed they were about to see God and felt content with the life they had lived up to that point.
How did the speaker’s outlook on life change after surviving the accident?
-After surviving, the speaker felt a strong sense of responsibility to live more authentically and in alignment with who they truly are. They realized the importance of knowing oneself to live a coherent life.
What question does the speaker encourage others to ask themselves, and why is it important?
-The speaker encourages others to ask themselves, 'Who am I?' because understanding one's true self is essential to living a fulfilled and authentic life. It helps individuals navigate their decisions and directions in life.
Why does the speaker argue that being a friend to oneself is important?
-The speaker believes that being a friend to oneself is important because self-knowledge and self-acceptance lead to greater happiness and resilience. By being kind and understanding to oneself, individuals can navigate their imperfections and live more harmoniously.
How does the speaker connect self-awareness to happiness?
-The speaker explains that knowing oneself allows a person to identify what they truly need to be happy. Without this self-awareness, people may focus on external goals that do not bring lasting fulfillment.
What does the speaker identify as essential for giving life purpose?
-The speaker emphasizes that finding a purpose or mission is essential to feeling energized and motivated. Discovering a purpose gives meaning to everyday actions and provides a reason to persevere through challenges.
What is the 'intelligence ontológica' that the speaker refers to, and why is it significant?
-The 'intelligence ontológica' refers to the ability to deeply understand one's own being and existence. The speaker considers this capacity important because it helps individuals discover their purpose and gives them the tools to live a meaningful and fulfilling life.

Outlines

00:00

🌊 A Near-Death Experience at Sea

The speaker recounts a harrowing story of nearly dying while sailing with friends. A large wave capsized their boat, leaving them stranded in the ocean. While dragging the boat to shore, the speaker made a critical mistake by pulling from the front, resulting in the boat being thrown on top of him by a wave. This accident crushed him against the sand, breaking 13 ribs, rupturing his diaphragm, and collapsing a lung. Near death, he experienced a profound sense of detachment and euphoria, believing he was about to meet God. Despite the pain of surviving, this experience left him contemplating life and his purpose, leading to a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

05:01

🧠 The Importance of Knowing Yourself

The speaker emphasizes the need for self-awareness and understanding of one's identity to live an authentic and fulfilling life. He reflects on how many people define themselves through their names or professions, but believes true identity goes beyond external labels. His near-death experience made him realize that being at peace with oneself is key, and he challenges the audience to explore who they truly are. In his 15 years as a coach, he has seen how difficult but essential it is to face oneself, one's strengths and weaknesses, and how self-discovery requires courage and consistency.

10:02

👥 Be Your Own Best Friend

The speaker encourages self-compassion and building a solid relationship with oneself, similar to how one would nurture a friendship. He explains that knowing yourself—your values, desires, and limits—helps avoid self-criticism and perfectionism. He compares harsh self-expectations to having an internal dictator and warns that intolerance toward imperfection leads to unhappiness. By accepting and loving oneself with all imperfections, people can achieve greater happiness and inner peace. This personal connection is essential to self-growth and to living a more fulfilled life.

15:02

🛤️ Discover the Direction of Your Life

The speaker discusses how self-reflection helps to find direction and meaning in life. Many people live according to societal norms or the expectations of others without questioning their own desires. He shares how his near-death experience clarified his desire to live a life that he would be proud of when it ends. He has since worked with many individuals who seek purpose and a deeper sense of fulfillment, especially those who have met their basic needs but feel something is missing. Understanding one's values, strengths, and weaknesses helps shape a purposeful life.

🍫 The Ingredients of Happiness

The speaker uses a metaphor of baking a chocolate cake to explain that happiness requires a balance of various 'ingredients' such as love, goodness, spiritual life, and material needs. Modern society often prioritizes material wealth and sensory experiences over spiritual and inner well-being, which can lead to unhappiness. Many people pursue things that do not truly fulfill them. Through self-exploration, one can identify the essential elements needed for personal happiness and avoid wasting energy on things that provide little joy.

🔋 Finding Purpose and Recharging Your Life

The speaker compares losing purpose in life to a toy running out of batteries. Without a strong reason to live, life can feel routine and draining. He has observed that when people find a meaningful purpose, they regain strength and motivation, even in difficult circumstances. Discovering a mission or ideal can invigorate one’s life, providing the energy to overcome challenges. Purpose gives life meaning, and without it, individuals may feel directionless or exhausted.

🎁 The Gift of Giving to Others

The speaker highlights the paradox that giving to others increases personal happiness. The more one contributes to the happiness of loved ones, the more fulfilled they feel. He explains that deep self-discovery is only truly meaningful when it is used to serve others. Without this outward focus, personal development becomes self-centered and ultimately unfulfilling. By contributing value to others' lives, people achieve a deeper sense of purpose and joy.

🧠 Developing Ontological Intelligence

The speaker introduces the concept of 'ontological intelligence'—the ability to understand the essence of being, both within oneself and in others. This deep reflection helps one bridge the gap between 'who I am' and 'who I want to be.' After his accident, the speaker felt that God had given him a second chance to grow and fulfill his potential. He believes that actively pursuing personal growth not only improves oneself but also contributes to making the world a better place. The tension between current identity and aspirational self creates a dynamic force that drives positive change.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Self-Discovery

Self-discovery refers to the process of understanding who one truly is, beyond labels like names or professions. In the video, the speaker embarks on a journey of self-discovery after a near-death experience, realizing that understanding oneself is crucial to living a meaningful life. The speaker emphasizes how this question—'Who am I?'—is central to becoming aligned with one's true nature and purpose.

💡Happiness

Happiness in this context is not just a fleeting feeling but a deep sense of fulfillment and peace. The speaker shares that, during the near-death experience, they felt an overwhelming happiness because they believed they were about to meet God and were content with how they had lived their life. This sense of happiness is tied to living authentically and finding satisfaction in life choices.

💡Responsibility

Responsibility here refers to the speaker's realization that after surviving a life-threatening experience, they had a duty to live more authentically and be consistent with who they truly are. The speaker acknowledges that surviving meant they now had to align their life with their inner values and continue growing as a person.

💡Valentía (Courage)

Courage, or 'valentía' in Spanish, is a central theme in the video. The speaker explains that answering the question 'Who am I?' requires great courage because it involves facing personal fears, flaws, and ideals. The speaker mentions that understanding one's true self can be difficult because it requires vulnerability and self-reflection, which can be challenging but necessary for growth.

💡Imperfection

Imperfection is addressed in relation to self-acceptance. The speaker advises that striving for perfection can lead to internal conflict if one is intolerant of their own imperfections. The key message here is to embrace one’s imperfections, just as we accept flaws in others, and to become a 'friend' to oneself, rather than a harsh critic.

💡Direction

Direction in life is a concept the speaker highlights when discussing how understanding oneself helps one discover their life’s path or purpose. The speaker reflects on how many people go through life without clear direction, driven by external expectations or societal norms. The video suggests that deep self-reflection helps align life decisions with personal values and dreams.

💡Purpose

Purpose refers to the reason one lives or the greater meaning behind one's actions. The speaker touches on how discovering one’s purpose provides motivation and a sense of fulfillment. They describe it as the force that drives people through difficult times, giving life meaning and helping people contribute value to the world.

💡Identity

Identity is a core concept in the video, defined as the essence of who a person is, beyond external labels like jobs or societal roles. The speaker stresses that understanding one's identity is crucial to living a fulfilling life, as it forms the basis for making authentic decisions and finding purpose.

💡Trascendencia (Transcendence)

Transcendence refers to the act of going beyond oneself and contributing to something larger, such as the happiness of others. The speaker suggests that true happiness is found not in self-centered pursuits, but in giving to others and having a positive impact on those around us. This act of self-giving is portrayed as essential to finding lasting fulfillment.

💡Friendship with Oneself

Friendship with oneself is described as the result of deep self-knowledge. The speaker explains that just like a friendship with another person requires time and understanding, becoming a 'friend' to oneself involves knowing personal values, dreams, and imperfections. This friendship is essential for self-acceptance and internal peace.

Highlights

The speaker recounts a life-changing experience at sea where a severe accident left them with 13 broken ribs, a ruptured diaphragm, and lung damage.

During the near-death experience, the speaker felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and peace, believing they were about to see God.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of knowing oneself as the foundation for living a coherent and fulfilling life.

The speaker reflects on their survival and the responsibility to live authentically, urging others to ask, 'Who am I?'

Many people define themselves by their profession or role, but the speaker stresses that true identity goes deeper than labels.

Drawing from over 15 years as a coach, the speaker believes that knowing oneself is one of the most difficult and courageous questions a person can ask.

Self-knowledge requires facing both one's strengths and weaknesses, which takes not only courage but also consistency over time.

The speaker identifies five key reasons for understanding oneself, starting with becoming a better friend to oneself.

Knowing oneself allows for clearer life direction, helping individuals align their actions with their true desires and values.

The speaker shares that discovering one's needs for happiness is critical, as it helps focus energy on what truly brings joy rather than external expectations.

A life purpose or mission gives meaning and strength, helping individuals overcome obstacles and maintain motivation.

The speaker describes how deep self-reflection leads to discovering what one can offer to others, contributing to a more meaningful life.

Personal growth involves a balance between who you are and who you aspire to be, creating a positive tension that fosters self-development.

The speaker’s accident served as a catalyst for deeper introspection, reinforcing the idea that they had more to offer to the world.

The talk concludes with the idea that striving for self-knowledge and working toward one's potential can contribute to making the world a better place.