Overcoming Addiction - The Root Cause Of Every Addiction
Summary
TLDRIn this insightful episode, Leo from Actualised.org delves into the depths of addiction, revealing its root cause as the fear of emptiness. He shares personal experiences overcoming food addiction, illustrating a profound understanding of why addictions exist. Leo emphasizes that all addictions stem from the same place and offers a simple test to identify addictive behaviors. He discusses common addictions in modern society and introduces techniques such as the do-nothing technique, mindfulness meditation, and existential investigation to achieve self-actualization and break free from the chains of addiction. This episode is a call to face one's inner demons and to embrace the existential void as a path to a more fulfilling and self-actualized life.
Takeaways
- 📚 Overcoming addiction is a universal topic that applies to everyone, not just hardcore drug addicts.
- 🔍 The root cause of all addictions is the fear of emptiness, which is the fear of being alone with nothing to do.
- 🚫 A simple test to determine addiction is to stop the suspected behavior for a week and see if cravings arise.
- 🌐 Modern society is filled with various addictions, including drugs, food, porn, tobacco, alcohol, TV, internet, videogames, socialization, and even thinking.
- 🧘♂️ The author's personal experience with food addiction led to the realization that addictions are distractions from existential emptiness.
- 🏋️♂️ Self-actualization involves grounding oneself internally rather than seeking external stimulation for happiness.
- 🧐 The ability to sit alone in an empty room without agitation or craving is a measure of emotional maturity and self-development.
- 💭 Stuffing oneself with various forms of stimulation is a common behavior to avoid facing the emptiness within, but it never truly fills the void.
- 🔥 Facing and accepting the existential emptiness is a profound step towards conquering addiction and achieving self-actualization.
- 🧘♀️ Techniques such as the do-nothing technique, mindfulness meditation, and strong determination sitting are offered to help individuals face their addictions.
- 🤔 Existential investigation, which involves contemplating one's own death and the insignificance of existence, is suggested as a way to confront and understand the nature of being.
Q & A
What is the main topic of Leo's discussion in the provided transcript?
-The main topic of Leo's discussion is overcoming addiction, including the root cause of addictions and how to deal with them on a deep, psychological level.
According to Leo, what is the ultimate root cause of all addictions?
-The ultimate root cause of all addictions, according to Leo, is the fear of emptiness, which is the fear of being alone with nothing to do and the resulting existential void.
What is the simple rule of thumb that Leo suggests to determine if one has an addiction?
-Leo suggests that if you stop the behavior you suspect to be an addiction for one week and cravings arise, then you are addicted. If no cravings arise, you are not addicted.
What are some of the common addictions mentioned by Leo in modern society?
-Some common addictions mentioned by Leo include drugs, food, porn, tobacco, alcohol, TV, the Internet, videogames, socialization, chit-chatting, partying, shopping, gossip, and excessive thinking.
How did Leo overcome his food addiction?
-Leo overcame his food addiction by committing to eating cleaner, experiencing the craving, and sitting with the craving without giving in to it, which allowed him to observe it mindfully.
What is the significance of being able to sit alone in an empty room according to Leo?
-According to Leo, the ability to sit alone in an empty room signifies self-development, emotional maturity, and self-mastery. It is a litmus test for internal grounding and the ability to be content without external stimulation.
What does Leo suggest as the first technique for overcoming addiction?
-The first technique Leo suggests for overcoming addiction is the 'do-nothing technique,' which involves sitting alone in a room without any stimulation and facing the emptiness and cravings head-on.
What is the purpose of Leo's website, Actualized.org?
-The purpose of Actualized.org is to provide resources and support for individuals on their journey towards self-actualization, which includes overcoming addictions and living life to its fullest.
How does Leo define 'internal wealth' in the context of the discussion?
-Leo defines 'internal wealth' as the ability to be happy doing nothing, which is a measure of how satisfied and content one can be without any external stimulation or activities.
What is the difference between a 12-step program and Leo's approach to overcoming addiction?
-A 12-step program focuses on overcoming a specific addiction and may provide support and techniques for that purpose. In contrast, Leo's approach emphasizes self-actualization, aiming to become the best version of oneself and addressing the root cause of addictions on a deeper level.
What are the top three techniques Leo suggests for becoming a non-addict and achieving self-actualization?
-The top three techniques Leo suggests are the 'do-nothing technique,' mindfulness meditation, and strong determination sitting. These techniques are aimed at facing and overcoming the internal challenges that lead to addiction.
What does Leo mean by 'soft addictions' and why are they significant?
-Soft addictions, according to Leo, are behaviors or emotional dependencies that one might not consider as addictions, such as the need for constant criticism, judgment, love, validation, compliments, or success. They are significant because they can be just as impactful on one's life as hard addictions and need to be addressed for true self-actualization.
Outlines
😀 Understanding Addiction and Its Root Cause
Leo from Actualised.org introduces the topic of overcoming addiction, emphasizing that the insights are applicable to everyone, not just hardcore drug addicts. He shares his personal experience with food addiction and how he overcame it. The root cause of all addictions is identified as the fear of emptiness, which is a fear of being alone with nothing to do. Leo explains a simple test by Gay Hendricks to determine if one has an addiction: stopping a behavior for a week and observing if cravings arise. He also lists common addictions and suggests that most people have multiple addictions, including to thinking.
🧐 The Realization of Addiction's Root Cause
Leo describes his personal revelation about the root cause of addiction while trying to change his eating habits. He committed to a cleaner diet and experienced a strong craving for ice cream, which he resisted. This resistance led to a physical and psychological reaction, which he used to understand the nature of addictions. He explains that addictions serve as distractions from the fear of existential emptiness. The ability to sit alone in an empty room without craving external stimulation is presented as a measure of self-development and emotional maturity. Leo contrasts being externally grounded, which leads to addiction, with being internally grounded, which is the goal of self-actualization.
🤔 Facing the Existential Emptiness
Leo discusses the importance of facing the existential emptiness that underlies all addictions. He explains that the inability to sit alone in an empty room without cravings is a sign of a hollow life, which is the reality most people run from. He points out that the emptiness inside a person is never filled by consumption or material possessions, and that facing this emptiness is key to overcoming addiction. Leo also touches on the fear of death and the void, suggesting that contemplating one's own death can help in understanding and accepting the emptiness of existence.
🕵️♂️ Confronting the Void to Overcome Addiction
Leo advises facing the void by sitting with an empty stomach or clean veins, without any distractions, to confront the cravings and suffering that arise. He emphasizes the importance of not distracting oneself and enduring the psychosomatic reactions that come with facing one's inner demons. He suggests that this confrontation with emptiness will lead to a purifying fire that burns out the inner demons over time. Leo warns that without facing the void, addictions are never truly conquered and will likely return.
🧘 Techniques for Overcoming Addiction and Achieving Self-Actualization
Leo offers three techniques to help addicts become non-addicts and achieve psychological stability and internal grounding. The first technique is the 'do-nothing' technique, which involves sitting alone without any stimulation. The second is mindfulness meditation, and the third is strong determination sitting. As a bonus, he introduces 'existential investigation,' which involves contemplating one's own death and the insignificance of existence. He also mentions that soft addictions, such as the need for validation or success, are important to address and will be covered in future episodes. Leo views self-actualization as the removal of addictions and encourages developing internal wealth, the ability to be happy doing nothing.
📈 The Importance of Self-Actualization Over Addiction Recovery
Leo discusses the limitations of 12-step programs, noting that while they can be helpful, they often lack a broader perspective on self-actualization. He suggests that the primary mission should be self-actualization, rather than just quitting an addiction. He differentiates between playing defense, which is overcoming a deficiency, and playing offense, which is striving to become the best version of oneself. Leo emphasizes the importance of a positive reason for change, which is to achieve self-actualization. He invites viewers to engage with his website, Actualised.org, for more resources and to subscribe to his newsletter for ongoing support on the path to self-improvement.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Addiction
💡Fear of Emptiness
💡Self-Actualization
💡Mindfulness Meditation
💡Existential Investigation
💡Emotional Maturity
💡Internal Grounding
💡Cravings
💡12-Step Programs
💡Existential Crisis
Highlights
Leo from Actualised.org discusses overcoming addiction by addressing its deepest root cause.
Provides a test to determine if a behavior is an addiction based on cravings after stopping for a week.
Almost everyone in modern society has some form of addiction, varying in degree and number.
The most common addictions include drugs, food, porn, tobacco, alcohol, TV, Internet, videogames, socialization, and even thinking.
Thinking is identified as the number one addiction that most people are unaware of.
The ultimate root cause of all addictions is the fear of emptiness and the inability to be alone with nothing to do.
Leo shares his personal experience overcoming food addiction and the realization of the root cause of addiction.
The importance of facing cravings head-on and observing them mindfully without giving in.
Addiction as a distraction and escape from existential emptiness fear.
The metric of being able to sit alone in an empty room without external stimulation reflects self-development and emotional maturity.
The emptiness of being is a profound experience, not negative, and is the basis of spirituality.
Facing the existential void and accepting it is essential for conquering addiction sustainably.
Leo explains the catch-22 of addiction recovery, where addicts seek to avoid the emotional labor that led to addiction in the first place.
Three techniques to overcome addiction: do-nothing technique, mindfulness meditation, and strong determination sitting.
Existential investigation as a bonus technique to face one's inner demons and contemplate one's own death and insignificance.
Self-actualization is described as the removal of addictions and becoming a psychologically stable and internally grounded individual.
12-step programs can be helpful for support but often lack the big picture of self-actualization and playing offense in life.
The mission should be to become self-actualized, not just to quit an addiction.
Transcripts
hey this is Leo for actualised
org and in this episode I'm going to be
talking about overcoming addiction and
I'm going to tell you the deepest root
cause at the bottom of every addiction
listen up because this information I'm
going to give you here is not just for
hardcore drug addicts this is something
that's going to be useful for everybody
I'm going to share with you some deep
insights that I got from my own food
addiction and overcoming my food
addiction earlier in my life and what
that's going to give you is it's going
to give you a really deep high-level
understanding of what addictions are and
why they exist and where they ultimately
stem from because every addiction stems
from the exact same deep place firstly
though how do we tell that we have an
addiction there's a great limit s --t
that I can give you which I got from gay
Hendricks I really love this and what he
basically says is if you stop doing the
behavior that you suspect that you're
addicted to if you stop doing it for one
week and cravings arise then that means
that you're addicted and if you stop
doing it and no cravings arise that
means you're not addicted so this is a
very simple rule of thumb you can run
this test on any behavior you have that
you suspect of being an addiction and if
you actually do this and try this out
you might be shocked at what you
surprised at how many things you're
addicted to you might discover that
you're addicted to things that you
wouldn't even have normally thought or
addictions these days in modern society
almost everyone is an addict the only
question is to what degree how severe is
it and how many addictions do you have
most of us have not one or two
addictions but at least half a dozen if
not a dozen or more
the most common addictions are of course
drugs but also food porn tobacco alcohol
TV and Internet videogames very common
these days also socialization
chit-chatting and partying with your
friends
shopping work gossip and thinking now
thinking is a really interesting one you
might think that you're not addicted to
thinking and that thinking doesn't
really qualify as an addiction but man
actually thinking is the number one
thing that most people are addicted to
and they don't even know it now that's a
tangent that I can't go into here it's a
very deep rabbit hole that I talk about
in my enlightenment videos and in my
meditation video so I will cover it here
but what I want to do here is I want to
talk about the root cause of all of
these addictions because they only have
one ultimate root cause and that is fear
of emptiness fear of emptiness sounds
kind of weird fear of emptiness how does
this create addiction well it's really
the fear of the emptiness that you
experience when you are alone with
nothing to do so if you just sit in a
room and don't do anything for an
extended period of time you will notice
this fear of emptiness come up and it
comes up in many different ways and what
addictions are is they're distractions
and escapes from this existential
emptiness fear that all of us have who
have not faced it head-on the way that I
discovered this is with my food
addiction I don't know if you notice
about me but I used to be overweight
quite heavily overweight for most of my
life since I was about ten years old
until I was about 21 or 20
two years old all through school and
through the first half of college I was
quite overweight and not just overweight
but I was really obsessed with food and
I over ate a lot of food and just ate
terrible food and then when I got into
college finally I decided that this is
something I need to change and over the
course of about six months I put a stop
to all of it and I got myself in shape
and I've stayed pretty lean ever since
ah now the thing that I discovered
though in those first few days when I
started to make that transformation with
my diet and with my fitness is I
discovered this root cause of addiction
I didn't realize that it was all
addictions I thought it was just food
but what I realized and I remember this
very vividly as I was sitting there at
home it was late at night and usually I
would go grab a snack some candy or some
some soda or some ice cream or whatever
while I was uh just relaxing after
college but what happened here is that I
committed to eating cleaner so I made a
commitment not to eat any dessert or to
drink any soda or any sugary type
products and I had some ice cream in the
refrigerator and I was sitting there
just watching some TV and I really got
this craving for some ice cream I wanted
to go great
grab some the way I normally would but
then I remembered that no I can't do
that because I've made this commitment
to clean up my diet and so what I did is
this was a decisive moment for me I just
sat there i sat there and didn't move
didn't do anything just sat there the TV
was playing and I just watched this
craving for ice cream course through my
body and it was a whole physical
reaction right the whole physical
reaction as you know with addictions if
you've ever tried to quit something like
smoking or drinking or porn or whatever
is that you have this whole craving that
your body goes through is not just a
mental thing it's also a physiological
thing and so what I did is I just I
force myself to sit there and just to
experience it and that was the decisive
moment for me from then
on my whole diet got a lot easier
because I was able to crack that uh that
really difficult the most emotionally
challenging moment in this whole phase
of changing my diet was just to sit
there and to not give in to this craving
and just kind of observe it more or less
mindfully so that's what I did
uh so I'm going to use food as the kind
of prototypical example throughout the
discussion here in this episode but of
course you can replace food with any
addiction it doesn't matter what I'm
talking about food you replace it with
whatever you're addicted to internet
porn videogames
relationships love thinking anything it
doesn't matter right it's all the same
stuff basically so the problem that you
have with whatever you're addicted to is
that you're basically unable to sit
alone in an empty room you can't stand
it so what you do is you turn to blank
as your distraction and fill in the
blank with whatever you want so you turn
to food as a distraction or you turn to
drugs as a distraction or you turn to
shopping as a distraction now you might
wonder like what does this have to do
with anything why is this this notion of
sitting alone in an empty room why would
that be important and why is this being
used as kind of the metric to judge
things isn't it sort of arbitrary and
actually no it's not arbitrary it's a
very special metric it's very important
because in a sense the degree to which
you are self developed and the degree to
which you're emotionally mature and the
degree to which you are capable as a
human being is the degree to which you
can sit alone in an empty room without
any external stimulation see and the
degree to which you need external
stimulation to feel happy in your life
is the degree to which you have
of no mastery over your life it's the
degree to which you are a slave to
external reality it's the difference
between being externally grounded and
internally grounded and the whole aim of
self-actualization is to ground yourself
deeper and deeper into your own being
internally and being internally means
just being rather than doing rather than
running around and stimulating yourself
with television or food or anything else
you see so this criteria of sitting
alone in an empty room and being
fulfilled or satisfied or at the very
least not agitated and full of craving
sensations is a very important metric
it's a very important litmus test and
you can try this by yourself just sit
alone comfortably in a room for an hour
or two doing nothing and see how you
feel do you feel okay do you feel happy
do you feel normal or do you feel antsy
and bored and pissed off and frustrated
and agitated and you can't even sit
still for five minutes
or you're lost in fantasies in your mind
about stuff you're dreaming about sex
and you're dreaming about food and
you're dreaming about business and
you're dreaming out work and all this
other stuff but you can't just be
present in the moment this is very very
important a lot of people completely
underestimate how important this is you
can't really be satisfied in life if you
can't sit alone in an empty room
for a couple hours without cravings and
most people can't do that and the reason
that is is fundamentally that your life
is hollow see your life is actually
empty but you've been running away from
that truth from that reality for most of
your life
ever since you were a child and you
started playing video games or you
started playing with toys or you started
reading books or watching television or
whatever you started doing eating food
candy all that stuff was you getting
attached to stimulation because you
weren't able just to be present and
satisfied with stillness and with being
so what you started to do early on in
your life and you continued to do it
today and is very normal for you today
you think that this is how life should
run what you do is you stuff yourself
until you're aching and you're guilty
that should ring some bells for you
think of all the times either recently
or in the past where you stuffed
yourself until you're aching and then
you're guilty
maybe you stuffed yourself with a
Netflix marathon or you stuffed with
yourself with a a porn marathon or you
stuffed yourself with food at a buffet
or some restaurant or backyard barbecue
or you stuffed yourself with a reading
or with knowledge or you stuffed
yourself with work it's like work work
work work work right what you did is you
stuffed yourself think about the last
time that you stuffed yourself and how
you felt you felt very full but you also
felt dirty and really even though you
felt full on the surface deep down below
the surface what happened is that you
felt empty inside and no matter how much
you consume that emptiness is never
filled because this is the inescapable
limit of hedonism and materialism is
that you can't fill that emptiness of
being with more doing or with material X
colonel possessions or activities no
matter how much you try you can't do it
so the problem here is that you're
running away from this existential
emptiness and this existential emptiness
usually most of us think of it as a
problem something to avoid but actually
is something that you need to open
yourself up to and to face and to
embrace and to accept and this is what
most people do not do and by not doing
this this leads to all manner of a
dysfunctional addictive behaviors and it
leads to just a dissatisfaction with
life and then ultimately can lead to
depression and even to suicide because
being biased nature is empty that is the
nature of being itself is emptiness but
see most people don't like this idea at
first it seems kind of negative and it
seems depressing actually it's not it's
a very beautiful and incredible
experience to fully realize the
emptiness of being and to be one with it
this is a very profound experiences of
what spirituality is based upon but most
people aren't mature enough to grasp
this and they're so busy running away
from it because they've been running
away from it since they were like 3
years old that now it seems like it's
the normal thing to do it's fear of the
void the existential void inside of you
this is the void you feel when you start
to think and contemplate about your own
death have you ever just sat down and
contemplated your own death do you
realize that you will be dead within the
next 20 30 50 years at most you'll be
dead and you'll be dead forever
never
again in the billions of years that this
universe will go through will you ever
again be alive now sit with that and
think about that for a moment and try to
imagine what the experience of death is
I don't mean going through death but I
mean after you're dead what that is that
lack of experience in other words there
will not be no more colors or sounds or
tastes there won't be sex there won't be
entertainment
there won't be porn there won't be
videogames there won't be business
activity there won't be money-making
there won't be fun there won't be travel
there won't be sadness there won't be
anything there won't be fear there won't
be uh you know bodily sensations of any
kind it's going to be a complete void so
empty that is not even going to be black
and it's not even going to be silent
because silence and darkness are
actually phenomenon of life so it's
going to be so empty that you're not
even to have those things it's the same
emptiness that you experience when
you're in deep sleep not when you're
dreaming but when you're in deep sleep
and you have no sensations and no
memories of anything you don't even know
that you're alive that's what the void
is like is what you were before you were
born
think back to what your life was before
you were born it was a void right you
have nothing you have zero experience of
it so that's the thing you're ultimately
running away from and that's something
that you don't just I'm not just saying
you're running away from death I mean
you're running away from that sort of
empty that's sort of emptiness it
doesn't just exist after death it exists
right now
now in the reality of being itself so if
you just sit and do nothing what you
have is you just have raw experience and
if you sit there long enough you start
to realize that all this experience
that's happening it's always changing
it's always in flux and ultimately none
of it means anything
and this might start to make you
depressed this might lead to an
existential crisis but what has to
happen is that you have to face this you
have to face this void at one point in
your life if you want to conquer
addiction sustainably see a lot of
people what they do when they have
addiction is they look for kind of a a
service level solution it's like well
how do I change my behavior so I stop
smoking or I stop overeating how do I go
to the gym more and workout more all
that stuff it can be useful to a degree
but it will not really allow you to
conquer addiction permanently
sustainably because it doesn't get you
looking at the void and accepting the
void so how do we get you to conquer the
void and to accept it well you can't
really conquer it but you can come to
peace with it and it's really simple if
you permanently want to conquer any
addiction that you have here's what you
do is you just sit with emptiness and do
nothing so if it's a food addiction you
sit with an empty stomach and you don't
do anything and if it's a drug addiction
users sit there with you know a clean
clean veins and you don't do anything
you don't fill them with any addictive
substances and if it's a video game
addiction that you just sit there
without any stimulating images or pixels
moving in front of your eyes
and so on and so forth right and as you
do that don't go into fantasy but just
sit there very mindfully don't distract
yourself you're going to be very tempted
to distract yourself with some book or
call a friend or talk to your family or
go to the park or whatever we have to
notice that all those are distractions
from just facing being itself and facing
that emptiness of being and as you sit
there and you face that emptiness what
you have to do is you just have to
surrender yourself to the purifying fire
of emptiness where those cravings will
come up in you and all your suffering
will come up and all your desire for sex
and for money and for food and for for
fun and for socialization and for love
and for for all this kind of stimulating
exciting stuff all those cravings will
come up and you're gonna have to suffer
through all those and sort of face your
inner demons and as you sit there and
brace yourself you're going to have a
psychosomatic reaction your mind is
going to be going crazy and your body is
going to be going crazy and you're going
to feel uncomfortable and perhaps even
ill and it's going to be emotionally
challenging but what's going to happen
is that the longer you sit there hour
after hour after hour doing nothing that
purifying fire will burn out all your
inner demons and you can just imagine
this all your inner demons are just kind
of escaping you as every hour goes by
and that's how you conquer every
addiction if you don't do this then you
don't really conquer the addiction you
just find a short-term solution and
usually what happens is that you're
going to fall back into it if not in a
week
then in a month and if not in a month
than in a year and if not in a year than
in ten years you will fall back into it
because you have it really faced the
inner demons
you've just sweep them under the rug so
what I'm giving you here is a mature
solution to addiction this is a very
mature solution this is the ultimate
solution and the way you tell it's but
she is that it's very emotionally
challenging this is not easy to do most
people don't want to do this in fact
this leads us to the catch-22 that every
addict faces when they're going through
recovery the catch-22 of addictions is
that every addict when he tries to go
through recovery wants to find a
technique that will help him to avoid
the emotional labor of recovery but it's
that avoidance of emotional labor which
created the addiction in the first place
so if you notice those people that are
really hardcore addicts in whatever
field of life they are the ones who tend
to avoid emotional labor the most that's
basically what addiction is coming from
it's the avoidance of emotional labor
emotional labor one of the forms of
emotional labor here is this emotional
labor that comes when you sit there and
do absolutely nothing it seems like
doing absolutely nothing is simple and
not laborious at all and actually for
someone who's psychologically healthy
and mature and not an addict it's the
most pleasant thing ever but for someone
who is an addict sitting and doing
nothing is like torture it's really
emotionally laborious which is kind of
the paradox of it
and most addicts they just want a quick
fix solution they don't want to face
their emotional labor but it's because
they don't want to face their emotional
labor that they're addicts you see so
it's like a vicious cycle and at one
point or another what's going to happen
to you in your life is you're going to
realize this you're really going to get
it not just hearing it from me but
you're really going to like feel it in
your bones at one point and if you do
then that will be the beginning of the
end of your addictions and if you don't
if you keep resisting and you keep
running away from this and you just hear
my words but you don't really get them
to penetrate down into your bones then
you're going to be an addict for the
rest of your life in one form or another
all addiction is basically emotional
immaturity all addiction is basically
childishness it's pretty profound to
think of it that way let me give you my
top three techniques for addicts for
becoming a non addict for becoming a
really
psychologically stable and internally
grounded human being this is what's
necessary if you want to self actualize
you can't be fully self actualized while
at the same time holding a bunch of
addictions it's just not going to work
so my top three techniques number one is
the do-nothing technique number two is
mindfulness meditation number three is
strong determination sitting and then a
bonus number four is what I call
existential investigation so let me just
briefly cover these I actually have
videos that cover most of these
techniques in a lot of depth so I'm not
going to go into the details here I have
a video about technique number one which
is to do nothing technique you can
search for it I have a video for
mindfulness meditation you can search
for that I have a video for strong
determination sitting you can search for
that
so that covers those three they're all
really powerful and they're basically
different ways of just sitting and doing
nothing and paying attention to present
experience to being and then the fourth
bonus technique is the existential
investigation and what that is is you
sit down and you actually start to
investigate who and what you are
existentially and you face your inner
demons really head-on you don't just sit
there I mean sitting there is really
good but you actually take out even more
proactive approach you start to ask
yourself okay what's going to happen
when I'm dead you start to contemplate
your own death you start to face your
own death you start to face the
insignificance of your existence and
that's something that I actually want to
cover in a new episode that I'll shoot
soon I'll show you how to do this kind
of existential investigation and I'll
talk about existential crises so I don't
want to go into that too deeply here I
just as a very simple technique if you
just want to start to break your
addictions right now all you really have
to do is just make some time sit in a
room by yourself alone without any
stimulation without any music without
any books without any games or
television or anything else and just sit
there and do nothing it's really that
simple
addiction is a much bigger problem than
we realize I mean I'm talking about here
what I would call kind of like hard
addictions even things like video games
or even things like shopping I would
call a hard addiction but actually
there's a whole second category of
addictions which I would call soft
addictions or emotional addictions and
this is something I want to cover again
in a separate episode because it's going
to take me a while to explain all this
but basically soft addictions are things
that you wouldn't even ever consider as
an addiction for example criticism or
judgment that might be an example of a
soft addiction or an addiction
to an addiction to love and validation
from other people or an addiction for
compliments from other people or an
addiction for success these sorts of
things most of us think that these are
actually good things or if they're not
good things we think that they're not
really addictions but actually they are
addictions and they're in fact some of
the most important addictions that you
have even besides your drug addiction or
your porn addiction or your video game
addiction and I'll talk more about that
in the future with additional episodes
so one way to look at self-actualization
is you can think of it as the removal of
addictions that's one way to to think of
it there's a lot of different
perspectives that you can take on
self-actualization because it's a very
deep and kind of high level abstract
concept but that one is one that I
really like because when I think of a
self actualized human being one of the
things that immediately comes to mind is
that this person is totally internally
grounded and not dependent on any
particular form of stimulation at all
now this doesn't mean this is an anal
person that this person can't have fun
or can't watch some TV once in a while
or can't play a video game he can but he
doesn't need it
he doesn't crave it he's transcended all
that stuff and in fact for him the thing
that's most enjoyable is not watching TV
or playing a video game or watching some
porn the most enjoyable thing for him is
just to sit and to be that's become more
enjoyable now think about that how close
are you to that ideal you might be very
far off think about what it would take
how you would have to structurally
change your life to get to the point
where you can just sit and be as happy
as you are playing video games let's say
or watching a Netflix marathon without
any stimulation at all do you believe
that that's even possible can you see
the power of that can you see why it
would be powerful to just sit and do
absolutely nothing and be just as
satisfied as you are when you're
stuffing yourself with food or when
you're shopping or when you're gossiping
with your friends you see why this is
powerful if you can be happy doing
nothing at all think about what happens
when you actually are doing something
wonderful like watching a beautiful
sunset or hiking in the mountains or
playing a fun video game or smoking some
pot you can still do all those things
but just think about how much more
enjoyment you'll get if your baseline
level of enjoyment is already at the
maximum of where you currently are when
you're doing all those activities you
see it's like an overflow of internal
wealth you might say you know external
wealth is like money houses and yachts
internal wealth is how happy you can be
doing nothing and that's something that
you would develop that's not something
that comes to you by accident
people don't just grow up with a lot of
great internal wealth almost everybody
starts with zero internal wealth and it
has to be developed through self
actualization work that's what this
whole channel is about that's what this
whole website is about that's what
everything I tell you is leading you
towards in one fashion or another so
keep that in mind one last issue I want
to address here before I go is 12-step
programs so you might be wondering well
Leo what about 12-step programs is this
something I should do are they good what
you're suggesting here is slightly
different than most 12-step programs
so here's a scoop on 12-step programs
they can be very helpful and for many
people who have hard addictions they
need support from knowledgeable experts
who have already gone through you know
all this stuff and who can help them and
hold their hand and guide you through
all the steps so that can be very
helpful but most 12-step programs lack
the big picture you can enroll in a
12-step program and you'll go through
and they'll give you a lot of different
techniques and that stuff will be great
but they won't give you the really big
picture because they don't quite frankly
understand it themselves right
your mission is not to quit an addiction
and that's the only real mission that a
12-step program will give you it'll just
say okay let's have you quit this
addiction and maybe they'll say let's
replace this bad addiction with some
good addictions but they won't give you
the true mission that you need to have
which is to become self actualized see
there's a very big difference between
what we might say playing defense versus
playing offense in a 12-step program
you're playing defense
you're not playing offense you're not
trying to become the best human being
you can possibly be you're simply trying
to overcome a deficiency or a
dysfunction that you have and while that
can be good it's better than nothing
it's not as good as what I'm telling you
here and really you can do both right
you can take the techniques from the
12-step program but most importantly
have the mission to become self
actualized to become your greatest self
to become the greatest that a human
being can become and if you do that then
that will be much more motivating for
you than just to quit a drug or just to
quit
for basically a negative reason you need
a positive reason and the most positive
reason is to become self actualized
alright that's it I'm done please click
the like button on this post your
comments down below I do read a majority
of the comments share this episode with
a friend
and lastly come check out actualize that
org it's my website I've got some free
resources on there that will help you to
self actualize I'm not really interested
in just helping you overcome a little
problem that you have in your life or
even a big problem self-actualization is
not about fixing problems it's about
living life to its fullest right this is
a very different attitude most people
don't have this attitude in life and it
takes a while before you can acquire
this attitude you can understand all the
facets of it there's a lot of conceptual
frameworks that you need to really get
on track with self-actualization also
various techniques what I do every
single week is I release new content
through my newsletter and on my youtube
channel that explains all this stuff
this is all very practical stuff I'm a
my approach to self-improvement is very
hard-nosed
no nonsense no new-age type of stuff I'm
just really practical about the concepts
and techniques that I find and how to
apply it in my life and I love to share
them with you and to show you the kind
of results that you could get so go
check that out if you sign up to the
newsletter it's free and it'll keep you
on track so you don't lose track of this
you don't forget it's very easy to
forget you might watch one of my
episodes and then the next week it's as
though you watch nothing it just kind of
goes in one ear and out the other
never to rebe remembered again in your
life doesn't change and what I want for
you is I want not just a change in your
life I want to help you make a
transformation in your life and that's
possible but you have to stick around
with me you have to learn some of the
frameworks and that will take a while
right my take is six twelve months to
really sort of soak this stuff in and
start to get on track so the newsletter
is a really great way to do that outside
of course I have a book list all those
are great
sources and I'm working to release more
free resources and also paid courses in
the future that will help you to do all
that so sign up and check it out and
stay tuned for more which I'll see you
with real soon
you
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