How I'm shaking up my life and creating change in my 50s
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker candidly discusses his journey to overcome fear and embrace risk-taking for a richer life experience. He shares his personal story of moving to Europe and learning to fly a drone, illustrating how dissatisfaction with the status quo, a strong desire for change, and taking a leap of faith can lead to life-changing experiences. The speaker also introduces the concept of 'playfulness' as a crucial element in risk-taking, which he explores through his own experiences and the support of therapy. He invites viewers to reflect on their own risk-taking and to share their stories.
Takeaways
- đ The speaker acknowledges being held back by fear and negative thoughts, limiting his experiences.
- đ He highlights the importance of taking risks to live a rich, fulfilling life, using his move to Europe as a prime example.
- đ§ The speaker's mind often tries to keep him safe by avoiding risks, but he recognizes the need to overcome these thoughts.
- đ Breaking free from scripted behavior, the speaker experiments with a more natural, unscripted way of speaking in the video.
- đ He introduces a formula for risk-taking, which includes dissatisfaction with the status quo, a strong desire for change, and a leap of faith.
- âïž The move to Europe is portrayed as a major leap into possibility, which was successful due to the combination of motivation and action.
- đź The speaker shares his fear of flying a drone but describes how a playful mindset helped him overcome his anxiety and enjoy the experience.
- đ§ Playfulness is presented as an essential ingredient for taking risks, as it allows for freedom and creativity without overthinking.
- đĄ The speaker's therapist plays a crucial role in challenging him to step outside his comfort zone, especially in social situations.
- đ± The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of continuous growth, taking more risks, and embracing adventure to live fully.
Q & A
What is the main theme of the speaker's message in the video?
-The main theme is the speaker's journey toward overcoming fear, taking risks, and embracing possibilities in life by stepping out of his comfort zone.
What has traditionally held the speaker back from taking risks?
-The speaker has been held back by negative and fearful thoughts, which have kept him in a 'safe space' and stopped him from fully experiencing life.
How does the speaker describe the contrast between his fearful mind and the concept of possibility?
-The speaker explains that his fearful mind focuses on avoiding danger and waiting for the right conditions, while the concept of possibility encourages exploration, playfulness, and stepping out of his comfort zone to experience life.
What is the 'formula' the speaker mentions for taking risks?
-The speaker's formula for taking risks consists of three parts: dissatisfaction with the status quo, a desire for something new, and taking a blind leap of faith.
What example does the speaker give of successfully taking a risk?
-The speaker refers to his and his wife's decision to move to Europe as a successful example of taking a big risk, which involved selling their house, moving their belongings, and starting a new chapter in life.
What role does playfulness have in the speaker's approach to risk-taking?
-Playfulness is a key ingredient for the speaker in taking risks. He discovered that when he allowed himself to have fun and let go, such as flying a drone or moving to Europe, he was more open to possibilities and enjoyed the experience more.
How does the speaker describe his experience with flying a drone?
-The speaker describes being initially fearful of flying the drone, worrying about losing or crashing it. However, after being encouraged by his son and embracing a playful mindset, he overcame his fear and enjoyed the experience of flying in sport mode.
What challenge did the speaker's therapist give him regarding integrating into French culture?
-The therapist challenged the speaker to visit a coffee shop for 10 consecutive days to practice French and immerse himself in French culture. Initially, the speaker was resistant and uncomfortable but gradually improved and began to enjoy the challenge.
What lesson did the speaker learn from his therapist's challenge?
-The speaker learned that stepping out of his comfort zone and taking small, repeated risks, like interacting in French at coffee shops, helped him grow and become more open to new experiences.
What does the speaker hope to achieve by taking more risks in the future?
-The speaker hopes to live a richer and fuller life by continuously taking risks, traveling more, and exploring new opportunities both alone and with his family.
Outlines
đ§ Embracing Fear and Possibility
The speaker reflects on living a life filled with fear and how those thoughts have kept him confined. He emphasizes the importance of taking chances to fully experience life, contrasting his fearful thoughts that hold him back with the idea of possibility, which invites excitement and adventure. While fear urges caution, the speaker recognizes that to live a fulfilling life, he must step out of his comfort zone. He also acknowledges that speaking unscripted in the video is a challenge, as he typically relies on prepared scripts.
đ Therapy and Overcoming Creative Stagnation
The speaker transitions to discussing the benefits of therapy, particularly the value of external guidance to tackle internal challenges. He introduces Better Help as a sponsor and emphasizes how easy it is to switch therapists and receive support. He then shares a personal story about overcoming a creative block by investing in new equipment, including a drone, which initially caused him anxiety. After overcoming his fear of crashing the drone, he recounts how his son inspired him to fly it confidently, leading to a thrilling experience that allowed him to break free from his limitations.
đź Finding Playfulness Through Exploration
The speaker reflects on the importance of playfulness, a key factor in overcoming fear and embracing new experiences. He describes how his recent drone-flying adventure and his family's move to Europe were infused with a playful spirit that made the experiences more enjoyable and successful. He explains that embracing this sense of play allowed him to step out of his usual cautious mindset, and he highlights three ways to cultivate playfulness: naturally through excitement, by consciously priming oneself, and with external support like therapy.
â Challenging Comfort Zones with Simple Tasks
The speaker shares a personal story about how his therapist challenged him to push beyond his comfort zone by practicing his French at local coffee shops for ten consecutive days. Initially resistant and uncomfortable, he gradually built the courage to engage more with the culture around him. This challenge helped him shift his mindset from avoiding discomfort to embracing small adventures. He recognizes that the hardest part was the mental hurdle of getting started, but eventually, the experience became an enjoyable challenge that helped him improve his language skills.
đ The Value of Taking Risks in Everyday Life
The speaker reflects on how taking risks in everyday situations, like speaking French or driving in Paris, offers valuable opportunities for growth. He notes that although some risks may seem daunting, they often lead to enriching experiences. By taking these small leaps of faith, he can break free from his comfort zone, live more fully, and build a habit of embracing challenges. He concludes by acknowledging that risk-taking is a continuous process, requiring cycles of courage and practice, but one that ultimately leads to a more adventurous and fulfilling life.
Mindmap
Keywords
đĄFear
đĄPossibility
đĄComfort Zone
đĄRisk
đĄPlayfulness
đĄDissatisfaction
đĄLeap of Faith
đĄTherapy
đĄAdventure
đĄSupport
Highlights
The speaker acknowledges his fearful nature and its impact on his life.
Realization that taking chances is essential for living a rich and full life.
The speaker's negative thoughts often hold him back from taking risks.
The concept of stepping out of one's comfort zone is presented as a way to experience life fully.
The speaker discusses the importance of courage and initiative in life's different aspects.
The speaker shares his experience of moving to Europe as a significant risk-taking moment.
A formula for risk-taking is introduced, involving dissatisfaction, desire, and taking a leap.
The speaker's experiment of speaking without a script is highlighted as a personal challenge.
The concept of playfulness as a key ingredient in risk-taking is introduced.
The speaker shares a story about learning to fly a drone despite his fears.
The importance of external support, like therapy, in overcoming fears is discussed.
The speaker's experience of integrating into French culture through daily coffee shop visits is shared.
The idea that risk-taking can become more natural with practice and support is explored.
The speaker reflects on the value of taking more chances in life and its impact on his personal growth.
The speaker invites viewers to share their own experiences with risk-taking.
The video concludes with the speaker expressing satisfaction with his experiment of unscripted speaking.
Transcripts
I've always been a fearful guy I've
always had these negative fearful
thoughts that have kept me in a box in
my sort of safe space and so for me to
get out into possibility into the world
has been a big deal it's always been a
big deal I am realizing that if I'm
going to live this rich and full life
that I keep talking about that I've
mentioned in a number of videos it is
essential for me to take more chances if
I don't take chances then I don't
experience life fully I have to have the
courage to step up to the plate and go
for it when it comes to different
aspects of life my mind the way it plays
out my thoughts my negative thoughts are
something like let's not do that that
thing out there is dangerous so let's
hold back okay and if we're going to do
it if we're going to get out there and
take a chance let's wait for the right
conditions to be in place okay that's my
fearful mind possibility on the other
hand says something like let's get out
there and play the world is a playground
there's so much to be seen and
experienced come on let's kind of our
comfort zone and let's do it well it's
easier set than done right because we
have these thoughts that will stop us
did in our tracks they have for me
certainly and I buy into them I let them
run the show anyway I'm going to dive
into this topic and I'm going to break
it down the best I can for my own
understanding and hopefully for yours as
well but I also wanted to mention that
in this video I am not referring to my
script in any shape or form okay and
that's a big deal for me I'm I'm the
type of guy who uh and I I feel nervous
right now okay I feel the nerves of
being in front of the camera delivering
just off the top of my head right just
having sort of a rough outline of what I
want to say but I'm the guy who has
traditionally written everything down
and has wanted to follow the script line
by line and that's made me stiff that's
made me be sort of in a box right
there's freedom on the other hand not
having the script and speaking to you
this way and just letting the thoughts
come to me as I go so anyway we'll see
how this goes I want to give a more
natural uh flowing version of me so this
in itself is an
experiment now back to possibility when
I look at possibility I I I kind of go
what are times when I've done that right
when I've gone for it and a big example
that comes to mind is obviously our move
to Europe that was a big deal where
Sicilia and I teamed up and we became
this dynamic duo that was going to go
just go get it we were going to go for
it and we did and it was this wonderful
experience that has landed us here in
France we have everything we ever wanted
and there's still possibility at every
step of the way it's all it's still
possible right whatever can happen and
so my mind my left brain right away says
okay so how let's analyze how did how is
it that that worked out and so I've come
up with a Nifty little formula that goes
something like this one's ability to
take on risk depends on three distinct
parts that I've come up with okay
there's the being dissatisfied with the
status quo you're tired with the way
things are but really tired okay you're
done plus the um I'm getting lost what
what was the next one plus a desire for
that new thing that you want you have a
vision for that thing that you want and
it's a strong pull in that direction
plus then obviously taking the big leap
right taking a blind leap of faith in
going for it so if I break down the
example of moving to Europe we have the
fact that we were really done with the
US after decades uh we were just
finished we were done in a chapter and
I've talked about this in previous
videos if you haven't watched my video
on leaving the US I'll leave a link uh
for you guys to check it out but the
fact is that we were really done there
was an interest in Europe we're from
Argentina buenos iris is very European
and the fact that our boys had moved to
Europe it was like there was a pull we
wanted that thing over there you could
say and then it was like okay we did go
to Portugal loved it came back and said
okay let's go diving into the deep end
right we're going to put the house on
the market get rid of most of our stuff
stick whatever small percentage into a
container and ship it across the ocean
and there we were processing visas
hopping on a plane and and off we went
into our adventure
that was just a a fantastic feeling what
an experience that was right I look at
that as a prime recent example of pure
possibility going forward now there is
another ingredient to this that I've
come to realize in the course of
developing this video that is crucial
that I will share with you in the
process of telling you a story I want to
pause briefly to talk about this video
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video a while back I was feeling fed up
with my shots the way I was shooting
video right it was the same lenses same
types of shots I'm like you know let's
shake it up a little bit let me invest
in some equipment and sort of you know
stir up some new Creative Energy I go
ahead and among things I buy a drone and
droning to this day makes me so nervous
uh it took me months before I cracked it
open out of the box and we were here
months after buying it and I gave it a
test flight and then I did just I took
it up in the air just enough to see it
flying and I took it down that was it
for that day flying a drone triggers in
me uh uh an excessive amount of fear
that I'm going to lose it that I'm going
to crash it somewhere that someone will
reprimand me for flying it that's that's
a big one and so I've always been you
know sort of safe you could say about it
I've been cautious I'll go fly it but
just long enough to get what I need and
then I'm out of there fast forward a
little bit to when my son Nathan asked
me to get some drone shots of him in
these really beautiful yellow Fields
here in the countryside we get out to
shoot actually I should say first that I
was very hesitant at first because I'm
flying a drone and I'm flying it for him
and who knows what's going to happen
right right away the fear thoughts are
am I going to do okay it's something bad
going to happen but but I wanted to help
him out I wanted to spend time with him
it was a bonding opportunity and I
wanted to learn I mean why not so we get
out to these beautiful yellow fields and
he's showing me what he wants to do on
his drone right at one moment he goes
into sport mode and let me explain what
sport mode is on these things in case
you don't know sport mode is a
particular mode that lets you fly really
fast like Zoom through Landscapes but at
the expense of No Object detection the
Drone is not going to detect if you're
heading into something so it's not going
to warn you it's not going to stop it's
just part and parcel of what you get for
flying really fast so he hands me the
Drone and I had gotten inspired by what
I saw and I started going into sport
mode I tried it out a little bit
nerve-wracking but I I think I did okay
I think I got him some good shots anyway
fast forward now to me going out to some
Fields trying to get my own shots of
these really beautiful yellow plants I
don't know what they are maybe you guys
can help me kza I think it is grape seed
so I am flying getting my shots I'm
going in and out of sport mode okay I
had been really truly inspired by my son
and at one point I go I want to get a
shot a low flying shot of these yellow
plants right it' be really cool to come
in and fly really low and capture them
so I'll I go and within moments I
realize oh no something's wrong here
right and I see the thing my drone crash
into the plants and disappear into a
yellow Abyss that was a moment
so of course I go absolutely into panic
mode then I remember that these devices
have a um what's it called uh they can
send out a distress signal so you can
locate them right they'll beep they'll
flash whatever I finally get it working
and I go looking I walk I step into this
Jungle of tall plants I'm searching and
I'm searching I'm fighting the wind
noise I'm fighting traffic noise trying
to hear it I as I go deeper finally the
beep sound I'm like oh my God I find the
darn thing I was so happy can't even
tell you how happy I
[Music]
was this is
[Applause]
H I was like a kid I was so giddy on the
way back home because I really had had
so much fun I not only got the shot but
I did it by letting go there's a way
that I let go and so the ingredient that
I wanted to share with you that was
happening there without me knowing it
was that I was at play there was a
playful element to going for it I was
clearly done with my old way of shooting
ready for some new shots with this gear
and I went for it this time without even
thinking I wasn't thinking about what I
was doing I was just doing it so I was
like a little kid when we were kids at
play I mean that was so long ago I don't
operate like that anymore but that used
to happen all the time right that was
present when we moved to Europe and we
threw ourselves out into possibility
into the world we were at play there was
no Visa process or crappy Airbnb and
there were many there was no sort of
obstacle that was going to stop us from
doing what we wanted and we did it and
we were successful and I did the shot
and I found the Drone it wasn't that I
had to find it I might have lost it but
the point is the fun that I had and how
it all worked out in a way that my
negative mind could not have ever really
seen the mind just can't see
so the question becomes how do we add
playfulness how do we man can we
manufacture playfulness how does that
work well I think there's three ways
that I can think of how that can
manifest the first is what I just
describ droning or moving to Europe
there was a natural process to it when
you're so excited about something you
naturally are in play mode you're not
thinking about what you're doing you're
just going for it having a good time
letting anything happen that's kind of
the easy one
the second is we could try to Prime
ourselves we could try to talk ourselves
into being more playful sometimes that
can work you go okay I'm going to go do
that let me just kind of be in a mindset
of I can make it fun I can engage I can
let go the third which I've come to
discover is having outside support in my
case it's my therapist I see therapy as
essential I compare it as I've done
before to a coach helping an athlete
reach greater Heights anyway my
therapist loves to challenge me and I'm
going to tell you another story that
shows how his support made a huge
difference for me because the the work
we do is so emotional it's all about our
internal Landscapes our feelings our
emotions our triggers he's always
challenged me with different emotional
um sort of exercises right things to
work on and because I trust him I've
worked with him for a long time over the
years I've built that muscle of
listening to him trying things out
working on them they may take weeks they
may take months years well he presented
me with a challenge a year ago where he
says well Josh you're in France now
you're trying to learn French integrate
yourself into the culture it's not easy
why don't you get out there for 10 days
in a row consecutively go to a coffee
shop order coffee sit down and just be
embedded in French culture right away it
was like this reaction on my part right
I'm I'm not going to do that you know
the language the people strangers this
that the other all sorts of things would
come to mind because that's what the
Mind does it's going to like use every
strategy possible to stop you keep you
safe keep you secure but I listen to
them took me a while I think but then I
got out I did one two maybe three
coffees they were not consecutive and
then I would give up and say I don't
want to do this this is too
uncomfortable we were then in Paris for
a while I did it there for three maybe 4
days and I would stop be like no enough
I can't do this so if you look at my
formula again I wasn't TI enough with my
French I wasn't quite dissatisfied with
the status quo I also did not have any
desire to leave my comfort zone you know
the comfort of my home to get out there
and do something this wild and crazy
right to me in my mind and so there was
no impetus no desire to take any blind
leap of faith but he kept at it over
time he kept insisting fast forward to a
year later which was a couple months ago
I just got tired of hearing him say it
and I'm like okay I'm going to try it
I'm going to to do this get it
done do the week 10 days and get them
off my back so I go into here the
countryside there's not a lot of choices
for coffee shops not any that I like
that are more like Paris or Starbucks or
anything like that so that makes it a
little extra uncomfortable so I do it
for 3 4 days it's not easy the hardest
part as always was deciding to allocate
the time walk over grab the keys get out
the door I would eventually find a place
I would grab the coffee I would do my
thing the instruction on his part was
don't worry about talking to anybody
again I do it for 3 4 days you know at
that point I'm like well I'm in it
enough that I'm just a few days away
from our next session let me just finish
it off and I'll just get him off
my back right that was kept being the
thing just want him off my back we meet
a week later and I had already a feeling
that this wasn't enough I hadn't
challenged myself enough right I did a
good job it went well but there was more
to be done and so we both sat quietly we
asked the question that came back was
let's do another week this time actually
talking to someone for some period of
time at this point I was doing it
because I knew it was good for me so the
formula began to shift I could see that
I was stuck with my French you know I
needed to go out and practice I was
seeing that thing out there more like an
adventure it was beginning to to to be
something that I would desire to do
right get out of the house because we're
doing all this crazy construction it was
noisy it was nice to get out and it was
becoming a challenge to go out and find
where's that next conversation going to
happen and so it became easier for me to
sort of launch into week two and grab
the keys and go that week went really
well it was funny because at times it
would be like a Sunday and I wouldn't
know where to go and I'd end up at a
McDonald's talking to the server asking
him what is there to do in the area
which was my go-to initial question for
people it was so silly but I felt good I
was open I was impossibility and French
was coming out and in spite of Errors I
was allowing myself to make mistakes
which was huge it's a huge part of the
process right to have this courage to
step forward make mistakes have fun be
open and experience life
fully with Sicilia it's really funny we
always talk about how that is so hard
for me it's not for her she can go
anywhere talk to anybody that's not a
problem however when it comes to driving
in Paris she goes crazy it is Hell
she'll never do it it's impossible to me
it's like some kind of video game you're
you're I have no issues with driving in
Paris or any big city anyway I'm just
realizing the value of taking more
chances of taking risk what's happening
more globally in my life is I am getting
dissatisfied with my own comfort zone
staying in a shell it's becoming less
comfortable right I wouldn't say
completely dissatisfied right I didn't
do the exercise gladly every day it's
not over I'm going to have different
waves or cycles of doing more that work
but it got better right I I understood
what it means at a deeper level to not
be in my comfort zone all the time and
also part two that there's something to
be had out there the moment I walk out
there's something there's an adventure
which to me will shape up in the form of
taking more trips alone I want to travel
alone more to all these interesting
places here in Europe now or with any of
my family members I'm sure my therapists
will have more challenges for me so
there's that piece that that's more more
uh accessible I can tap into that more
and then it it all makes it easier to
take that leap of faith go for it book
the trip do this do that and embody uh
sort of a playful mode more naturally so
anyway I don't know if it's my own crazy
formula it sort of helped me a lot in
dissecting the concept of risk-taking
and what it means to me hopefully it
resonates with you guys out there I
would love to know if you have your own
formula or your own approach to doing
this I'd be very interested always
interested in your comments what big
risks have you taken in your life how
did that go how did you get yourself to
do it what did it teach you how do you
keep yourself taking more and more risk
so you can live more fully and
richly wow this was
um this was great this was great I'm so
glad I did this this way I am thrilled
with myself I'm happy this was a great
adventure of my own that I created here
by shooting it this way I'd love to know
if it translated I hope it does anyway
if you like this content especially this
approach to it let me know please
subscribe there's more of it coming and
uh I'll talk to you next time
[Music]
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