Habits that made me get my life together in my 20s

Summary

In this reflective video, the creator discusses the pivotal habits that transformed his life during his 20s. He candidly shares his journey from being directionless and indulging in distractions to developing a disciplined lifestyle. Key habits include abstaining from pornography, setting clear goals, taking massive action, working out, respecting one's natural rhythm, delaying gratification, and embracing extreme accountability. These practices have not only improved his physical health but also significantly enhanced his mindset and overall life satisfaction.

Takeaways

• 🚫 Abstaining from pornography and masturbation can lead to increased focus, energy, and improved relationships.
• 🎯 Setting clear goals is essential for intentional living and achieving aspirations.
• 🏃‍♂️ Taking massive action towards goals is crucial for real change and requires consistent effort.
• 💪 Working out regularly not only improves physical health but also enhances mental discipline and motivation.
• ⏰ Recognizing personal biological clocks and working within them can lead to higher efficiency and productivity.
• 🍰 Delaying gratification and making decisions for long-term benefits is key to future success.
• 🧠 Embracing an extreme accountability mindset shifts focus from external factors to personal responsibility and growth.
• 💡 Visualization is a powerful tool that can help in creating and achieving personal realities.
• 💼 Hard work, even if it involves a temporary imbalance in work-life balance, is necessary for significant life changes.
• 🌞 Understanding that different people have different peak productivity times and respecting one's natural rhythm is important for personal effectiveness.

Q & A

What were the speaker's main activities during his early 20s?

During his early 20s, the speaker was mostly focused on partying, getting girls, and other degenerate behavior. He was also addicted to video games from the age of 15 to 19.

How did the speaker feel about his life around the age of 25?

By the age of 25, the speaker felt that he had made significant improvements in his life, including turning his passion into a thriving business, getting his finances in order, having a loving relationship, and building a stronger body.

What is the first habit the speaker suggests to improve one's life?

The first habit the speaker suggests is abstaining from pornography and masturbation, as it can have a negative impact on one's brain and energy levels.

How does the speaker describe the neurochemical impact of pornography on the brain?

The speaker describes the neurochemical impact of pornography as a silent killer that desensitizes the viewer to normal sex, rewiring the brain's response to arousal and draining energy and motivation.

What is the second habit the speaker recommends for personal development?

The second habit is setting clear goals, which involves being intentional with one's aspirations and having a plan to achieve them.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of visualization in goal setting?

The speaker emphasizes visualization because it helps create one's own reality by first visualizing the goal, being clear about what is wanted, putting it down on paper, and then aligning behavior with ambitions.

What does the speaker mean by 'Massive Action' and why is it important?

'Massive Action' refers to aggressively moving towards one's goals with consistent effort and hard work. It is important because it is the active step that leads to change and progress towards achieving goals.

How does the speaker feel about the concept of waking up early for productivity?

The speaker does not believe that waking up early is necessary for everyone. He suggests that being in tune with one's natural sleep-wake cycle is more important for feeling and functioning at one's best.

What is the fifth habit the speaker mentions, and why is it important?

The fifth habit is delaying gratification, which is important because it helps in making decisions that benefit future outcomes rather than seeking immediate pleasure.

What mindset does the speaker believe made the most significant difference in his life?

The speaker believes that adopting an extreme accountability mindset, where he takes full responsibility for his life and actions, made the most significant difference in his life.

How does the speaker define 'extreme accountability' and why is it beneficial?

Extreme accountability is defined by the speaker as a mindset where one takes full responsibility for all aspects of their life, even when things are not their fault. It is beneficial because it gives the individual the power and freedom to change situations for the better.

Outlines

00:00

🚫 Overcoming Addictions and Developing Good Habits

The speaker reflects on their transformation from a period of being clueless and focused on the wrong things, such as video game addiction and partying, to a more purposeful and successful phase in their late 20s. They credit this change to the implementation of seven key habits. The first habit discussed is abstaining from pornography and masturbation, which the speaker believes can have a detrimental neurochemical impact on the brain, leading to a cycle of addiction. They suggest that complete abstinence can lead to increased focus, clarity, and improved sexual dynamics. The speaker also acknowledges the existence of online communities like 'nofap' that support individuals in overcoming such addictions.

05:01

🎯 Setting Clear Goals and Taking Massive Action

The speaker emphasizes the importance of setting clear, intentional goals as the second habit that helped them get their life together. They share their personal journey of realizing that having goals without a plan is futile and that following someone else's dream did not lead to fulfillment. They now review and set goals annually, categorizing them into long-term, medium-term, and short-term, and further into health, relationships, career, and finances. The speaker also stresses the power of visualization and the need to align one's behavior with their ambitions. The third habit is taking massive action towards these goals, which involves hard work and persistence. They argue that while the concept of 'hustle' has gained a negative connotation, it is necessary to put in the effort to achieve significant life changes.

10:01

💪 Prioritizing Physical Fitness and Mental Discipline

The fourth habit discussed is the importance of working out and maintaining physical fitness. The speaker is brief but clear in stating that regular exercise not only improves physical health and appearance but also enhances mental strength by pushing through discomfort. They believe that discomfort is a positive sign that indicates growth and progress. The speaker also touches on the idea that everyone has a unique biological clock, and one should not feel pressured to conform to early rising routines if they are not naturally a morning person. Instead, they advocate for being in tune with one's natural sleep-wake cycle to maximize productivity and well-being.

🌅 Embracing Delayed Gratification for Long-Term Success

The fifth habit is about delaying gratification, which the speaker describes as a key to a better future life. They explain that while instant gratification might be appealing in the moment, it does not contribute to long-term well-being. The speaker introduces the concept of the 'rocking chair version of yourself,' suggesting that one should make decisions that the older self would be proud of. They acknowledge that it's okay to indulge occasionally but advocate for making choices that align with delayed gratification most of the time.

🔄 Adopting an Extreme Accountability Mindset

The final habit, and more of a mindset, is extreme accountability. The speaker shares their personal shift from a victim mindset to one of taking full responsibility for their life's outcomes. They describe how this change in perspective was liberating and empowering, as it placed the control of their life's direction in their own hands. The speaker encourages adopting this mindset, even in situations where external factors are beyond one's control, as it provides the freedom to change and improve one's circumstances.

Keywords

💡Habits

Habits refer to the regular patterns of behavior that are repeated regularly and tend to occur subconsciously. In the video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of developing positive habits in one's 20s as a means to improve one's life. The video outlines seven specific habits that the speaker believes contributed to their personal growth and success.

💡Pornography and Masturbation

This concept refers to the speaker's personal decision to abstain from pornography and masturbation, which they believe can have negative impacts on one's mental health and motivation. The speaker shares their experience and suggests that abstaining from these behaviors can lead to increased focus and better sexual relationships.

💡Setting Clear Goals

Setting clear goals is presented as a critical habit for personal development. The speaker explains that having specific, written goals helps in creating a clear vision for one's life and aligning one's actions towards achieving those goals. This concept is central to the video's theme of self-improvement and taking control of one's life.

💡Massive Action

Massive action refers to the aggressive and consistent efforts one must take to achieve their goals. The speaker contrasts this with merely visualizing success, emphasizing that tangible progress requires hard work and dedication. This term encapsulates the idea that success is not passive but requires active and persistent effort.

💡Workout

The term 'workout' in the video signifies the habit of regular physical exercise, which the speaker advocates for its dual benefits of improving physical health and mental well-being. The speaker suggests that pushing oneself out of comfort through workouts can enhance discipline and motivation across different aspects of life.

💡Biological Clock

The biological clock is the internal process that regulates the sleep-wake cycle. The speaker uses this term to explain why they do not adhere to the conventional advice of waking up early, arguing that everyone has a unique rhythm and one should work according to their natural energy patterns for optimal productivity.

💡Delaying Gratification

Delaying gratification is the practice of resisting the temptation for immediate rewards and focusing on long-term goals. The speaker discusses this concept as a key habit for achieving future success, suggesting that making decisions that prioritize long-term benefits over short-term pleasures can lead to a more fulfilling life.

💡Extreme Accountability

Extreme accountability is the mindset of taking full responsibility for one's life circumstances and actions. The speaker shares a personal transformation story where adopting this mindset led to significant growth and empowerment. This concept is central to the video's message of self-improvement through self-ownership.

💡Visualization

Visualization is the act of creating a mental image of one's goals or desired outcomes. The speaker mentions visualization as a tool to help clarify what one wants and to align one's behavior with their ambitions. It is presented as a complementary practice to taking massive action in achieving one's goals.

💡Personal Development

Personal development encompasses the activities and processes through which individuals improve their skills, knowledge, and well-being. The video's discussion of habits and mindsets is situated within the broader context of personal development, with the speaker sharing habits that have been instrumental in their own journey towards a more fulfilled and successful life.

💡Productivity

Productivity in the video refers to the efficiency and effectiveness in which one achieves their goals and tasks. The speaker discusses various habits and practices, such as working out and aligning with one's biological clock, that can enhance productivity by improving focus, motivation, and overall well-being.

Highlights

The speaker reflects on their personal growth from age 15 to 25, acknowledging past mistakes and focusing on self-improvement.

The importance of abstaining from pornography and masturbation is discussed due to its potential negative impact on brain function and motivation.

The speaker shares their journey from being addicted to video games to building a successful business and improving their life.

Setting clear goals is emphasized as a critical habit for personal development, with the speaker detailing their goal-setting process.

The concept of Massive Action is introduced, highlighting the need for aggressive pursuit of goals through consistent effort.

The speaker discusses the benefits of working out, including improved physical health and mental discipline.

The idea that everyone has a unique biological clock is presented, with the speaker advocating for personalizing one's daily routine.

Delaying gratification is highlighted as a key habit for long-term success and personal growth.

The speaker shares the transformative power of adopting an extreme accountability mindset over a victim mentality.

The importance of visualization in achieving goals is discussed, with a reference to successful athletes like Muhammad Ali.

The speaker challenges the notion of a one-size-fits-all morning routine, suggesting that personal preferences and productivity patterns should dictate one's schedule.

The concept of the 'rocking chair version of yourself' is introduced as a tool for making decisions that benefit future self.

The speaker emphasizes the importance of hard work and discipline, even when it's challenging, for achieving life goals.

The value of personal fulfillment over monetary gain is discussed, with the speaker advocating for pursuing what one truly enjoys.

The speaker provides practical advice on how to set and review goals, including dividing them into long-term, medium-term, and short-term categories.

The benefits of physical exercise for both physical appearance and mental well-being are outlined, with recommendations for fitness channels.

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about the moment they adopted an extreme accountability mindset, leading to significant life changes.

Transcripts

today I would like to talk about habits

specifically seven habits that made me

get my life together in my 20s because

I'm almost 30 now that feels a bit weird

to say but reflecting back from age 15

to 25 I was for the most part clueless

and focused on all the wrong things from

15 to 19 I was addicted to video games

and then in my early 20s I focused

mostly on partying getting girls and

other degenerate behavior and although I

don't necessarily regret those days I am

grateful to have made significant

improvements in my life over the second

half of my 20s I turned my passion into

a thriving business got my finances in

order have a loving relationship and I'm

building a stronger body day by day I'm

not saying I have it all figured out far

from it but I feel a lot more confident

about my life today than I did five

years ago and that is in great part

thanks to the implementation of

seemingly small but consistent habits so

here are the seven habits that made me

get my life together in my 20s and

hopefully they can benefit you as well

the first habit is to abstain from

pornography and masturbation didn't

think I'd one day be talking about this

on YouTube but let's get real for a

moment without filters I know we all

enjoy a little self-pleasure every now

and then but pornography is a silent

killer especially for men it starts out

as a harmless distraction but it has a

real neurochemical impact on your brain

that progressively gets worse over time

it desensitizes you to normal sex as it

literally rewires your brain on how you

get turned on and it drains your energy

and motivation from within what happens

when you watch porn is every time you do

it you get a release of dopamine which

is the pleasure hormone and the more you

do it the more dopamine gets released

which reinforces the behavior and makes

you want to do it again so you get into

this vicious cycle that over time

becomes harder and harder to escape and

just like a drug your tolerance for

visual stimulation also compounds over

time and then it becomes harder and

harder to get turned on by actual real

sex there is a lot of interesting

research and videos about the effects of

pornography and I'll link to few in the

description but I have seen cases where

it can become extremely damaging to your

life and although it's never snowballed

to that point for myself I can't say

that I've gone through long stretches of

complete abstinence from porn and I

always feel a lot better when I'm not

engaging in pornography I feel way more

focused and clear-minded when I'm off of

it I'm also less distracted and it

improved the dynamic in my sex life like

anything I'm sure if you do it in

moderation it doesn't necessarily have

to lead to the darkest outcomes but

because of its potential to snowball

into this negative cycle many people

prefer to stay off of it entirely in

fact there are communities online like

the nofap movements where people support

each other in overcoming porn addiction

and other forms of compulsive sexual

behavior it is absolutely something that

a lot of men have to contend with so

definitely don't feel ashamed if you

feel like you can relate the second

habits that made me get my life together

is setting clear goals for the majority

of my life until my mid-20s I was never

really intentional with my goals and

aspirations I hoped for things Wish for

Things pray Aid had certain Ambitions

but as the years went by I wasn't

actually getting any closer to achieving

my goals because a goal without a plan

is just a dream and I had no plan I was

just cruising through life doing the

usual things that parents and Society

push it to do go to school get good

grades go to a good uni get a stable job

simply assuming that everything would

fall into place that this would lead to

a fulfilling life but I was wrong after

23 years in the education system once I

actually got the marketing job that I

thought I wanted that I had been

studying my whole life for I realized

that this path was not for me at all I

was following someone else's dream not

my own and since then I have made it a

point for myself to live a very

intentional life and set clear goals

that I actively worked towards so at the

end of every year I take a piece of A4

paper and review my goals I divide them

into long-term goals which are the 10

plus year ones medium-term goals for the

next two to three years and short-term

goals for the next year and then I

further split them into four categories

Health relationships career and finances

and I write it all down by the way

writing things down on paper is actually

a very underrated habit but I digress

back to the goals so I would set new

short-term goals and then review my

medium and long-term ones see how long

track I am and I truly believe in the

power of visualization to create your

own reality I guess we'll never know in

fact many successful athletes use

visualization Muhammad Ali for example

famously said if my mind can conceive it

and my heart can believe it then I can

achieve it you have to visualize your

goal first be clear about what you want

put it down on paper and then align your

behavior to your Ambitions which brings

me to my third habit Massive Action

taking visualizing manifesting call it

what you want but it's only one half of

the equation the other half is actually

moving towards your goals aggressively

with a big emphasis on that word

aggressively things did not start

changing for me until I cut my

put my head down and took Massive Action

every day day after day and I really

hate how the word hustle has received

this negative connotation lately people

talk about hustle porn or orchism toxic

hustle culture but come on sometimes I

think Society has gone a little soft if

you want to make a big change in your

life you need to make big changes in

your behavior whether it's starting a

business mastering a new skill or

getting in shape you'll need some level

of grinding of hard work of putting your

head down and just doing the thing from

someone who went from being 40 000 Euros

in debt to building a six-figure

business within a few years hard work is

a necessity you don't get to get there

without the late nights the pushing

through it when you don't feel like

working and it's normal for it to be

hard it should be hard otherwise

everybody would do it so I think a

little imbalance in your work-life

pendulum for a period of time is okay

the key is you've got to pursue

something that you actually enjoy

because if not you will absolutely burn

out and it just doesn't make sense why

would you work hard to pursue something

that you don't even enjoy because money

alone is not enough I think that

personal fulfillment is so much more

important money is needed and it's great

but not at the cost of your fulfillment

and in this day and age you can monetize

almost any skill set so figure out what

you love doing first then figure out how

to monetize it visualize and take

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the video the fourth habit that made me

get my life together is working out I'm

gonna be brief with this one because you

know it you should know it anybody

that's consumed any self-help content

that is the first thing you hear go to

the gym get your body moving and that's

because it works it not only has the

obvious physical benefit of making you

look better and be healthier but it also

greatly improves your mindset because it

makes you do something uncomfortable on

a regular basis and if I've learned

anything it is that discomfort is

actually a good thing our monkey brain

is wired to chase Comfort but success

and progress in any domain often comes

with getting out of your comfort zone

dreams be dreams and over time building

that consistent habit of working out has

strengthened my motivation and

discipline in all areas of my life it is

a habit I would highly recommend taking

on if it's not already part of your

lifestyle I am no Fitness expert but

there are many great Fitness channels

out there that can help you get started

out like Jeff nippard or athelene X

which I'll link in the description habit

number five is not waking up at 5am a

lot of personal development advice tells

you to wake up super early and have this

meticulously optimized morning routine

to be more productive but after many

times of personally trying out early

morning routines I realize that they

simply don't work for me I learned that

we all have these different biological

clocks some will naturally feel

energized and productive in the evening

and others will naturally be up bright

and early with Peak energy levels early

in the day I am just not a morning

person I feel groggy tired and simply

not as efficient as I am in the evening

and I'm sure many of you will relate to

this and that's totally fine don't feel

like you're not getting ahead if you're

not waking up at 5 do doing a yoga

session a workout and finishing all your

emails before nine everyone has the same

24 hours in a day everyone has the same

24 hours in a day today

realistically if you're waking up at

five that means that you need to be in

bed by 9 or 10 pm at the latest if you

want at least seven hours of sleep so

assuming a similar duration of sleep if

I'm going to bed at 1am and waking up at

8 I'm not getting any less time in my

day than someone who's off at 5am so I

think those 5 a.m morning routines are

not for everybody and that that's okay

being in tune with your biological

clock's natural sleep wake cycle will

allow you to feel and function your best

every day habit number six that helped

me get my life together was to delay

gratification the way our brain is wired

it is our natural inclination to move

away from Pain and towards pleasure to

move away from what is hard and seek

what is easy comfortable pleasurable but

I learned that in life the more you can

delay gratification the better your life

will be in the future of course it feels

better in the moment to eat that dessert

watch another Netflix episode skip the

gym but that is not going to help future

me I heard of this concept recently of

the rocking chair version of yourself

which basically says it may imagine the

80 year old version of yourself that

can't move like you used to that doesn't

have the time and energy to do the

things that your younger self could now

make every decision in your life today

based on what would make that rocking

chair version of yourself proud would

that rocking chair Tim be glad that I

acted the way I did would he be proud of

my actions or would he regret them the

vast majority of the time the instantly

gratifying option is not the right one

so I try as much as possible to suck it

up and do the thing that will improve my

future life don't get me wrong now I

still like to indulge in a pastry from

time to time skip the gym if I genuinely

feel too exhausted I try not to be too

harsh on myself but ninety percent of

the time I will take the action that

comes with delayed gratification lastly

number seven is a bit of a bonus one

because technically it's more of a

mindset rather than a habit but I

thought it was too important not to

mention because it is arguably the thing

that made the most difference in my life

in this past decade and that is Extreme

accountability once I made the switch

from having a victim mind mindset to an

extreme accountability mindset that is

what I felt the most growth in my life

and in myself as a person before I used

to think that if only I was raised

differently or looked differently or

lived in a different place my life would

be better it kept me focused on

externalities rather than looking

inwards I thought the grass was always

greener elsewhere instead of seeing my

own potential and I remember the day

when I made the switch very clearly it

was my first day at the corporate job

that I had been working my whole life

towards and reality hit me in the face

it felt like a glass shattered in front

of me and allowed me to see reality for

what it was for the first time and I

completely switched up took a whole 180

and took full responsibility for my life

I blame myself for everything and

funnily enough when I took on that

burden it actually freed me in a way it

was alleviating to know that in the end

everything was my fault because that

meant that it was also up to me to

change things and to this day I adopt

this mindset of extreme accountability

in everything I do even if something is

clearly not my fault and there is

nothing that I could have done about it

I still would rather take responsibility

for it because that gives me the freedom

and power to change the situation for

the better there are many things that

helped me get my life together in my 20s

I think that really it is a combination

of luck hard work skill and maniacal

Focus but these seven habits I can say

are the ones that have helped me the

most and if I had a younger brother that

I was giving advice to from the heart

these are the seven habits I would want

him to implement so I hope you enjoyed

the video guys I hope it helped you or

provided value to you in some way I wish

you a beautiful day and I will see you

in the next one