Conflict – Use It, Don’t Defuse It | CrisMarie Campbell & Susan Clarke | TEDxWhitefish

Summary

In this insightful talk, Susan Clark and Chris share their experiences and strategies for transforming workplace conflict into a catalyst for creativity and innovation. They introduce 'vulnerability' and 'curiosity' as key ingredients to leverage the energy of conflict constructively. Through personal stories and a business case study, they demonstrate how embracing conflict can lead to breakthrough solutions and a more engaged team environment, ultimately empowering individuals and teams to achieve remarkable results.

Takeaways

• 🌟 Conflict is not inherently good or bad; it's a source of energy that can be harnessed for creativity, innovation, and transformation.
• 👩‍🔬 Susan Clark and Chris have 15 years of experience working with business leaders, being referred to as 'team doctors' due to their focus on team health for achieving smart business results.
• 🤝 The speakers have different approaches to conflict, which they believe is a natural and healthy part of any relationship, despite their personal discomfort with it.
• 🏠 Chris's childhood experiences with conflict led to a fear of vulnerability and a tendency to avoid and manage conflict, impacting their personal and professional life.
• 🏥 Susan's health crisis and the surfacing of past trauma taught her the power of dealing with conflict head-on, which ultimately saved her life.
• 🔑 Two 'magic ingredients' for turning conflict into creativity are vulnerability and curiosity; these can transform how teams and individuals handle disagreements.
• 💡 Vulnerability in a team context means being willing to take risks, expose oneself to danger, and be honest about one's thoughts, feelings, and desires.
• 🕵️‍♂️ Curiosity involves owning one's judgments while being open to different perspectives, considering multiple truths, and letting go of the need to be right.
• 👥 Business teams often stall when they avoid or defuse conflict instead of using it, leading to disengagement and mediocre results.
• 📈 A real-life business scenario demonstrates how embracing vulnerability and curiosity in conflict led to a successful strategy change and industry success.
• 🌱 The transformational power of dealing with conflict through vulnerability and curiosity is not just for personal growth but can also lead to professional and team achievements.

Q & A

What is the main perspective presented by Susan Clark and Chris about conflict in teams?

Susan Clark and Chris view conflict not as inherently good or bad, but as an energy source that can fuel creativity, innovation, and transformation when approached correctly.

How do the speakers describe their roles in dealing with team conflicts?

They refer to themselves as 'team doctors' focusing on the health of the team to achieve smart business results, and in some cases, they are also referred to as 'the dentist' due to their focus on resolving conflicts.

What personal experiences do the speakers share that shaped their views on conflict?

Chris shares a traumatic childhood experience with an abusive father, leading to a fear of conflict and a tendency to avoid it. Susan had a life-changing experience at 23 when she was diagnosed with stage 4 non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, which led her to confront and embrace conflict as a means of healing and growth.

What are the two 'magic ingredients' introduced by the speakers that can transform conflict into creativity?

The two 'magic ingredients' are vulnerability and curiosity. Vulnerability involves being willing to expose oneself to risk and be honest about one's thoughts and feelings. Curiosity involves being open to different perspectives and letting go of the need to be right.

How does the speaker Chris describe his initial approach to conflict?

Chris initially describes himself as a professional conflict avoider, seeking to manage and defuse tension rather than engage in it, stemming from a fear of conflict due to his childhood experiences.

What is the significance of the story about the IT company and the acquisition of a smaller company?

The story illustrates how the introduction of vulnerability and curiosity into a conflict-ridden team situation led to the discovery of a valuable idea that significantly improved the company's strategy and industry standing.

How does the speaker Susan's past illness and recovery relate to her views on conflict?

Susan's battle with cancer and her decision to confront her past traumas and the conflict within her family are presented as transformative experiences that led her to see conflict as a source of energy and aliveness.

What is the impact of avoiding or defusing conflict in teams according to the speakers?

Avoiding or defusing conflict in teams can lead to disengagement, undermining of each other, and mediocre results at best. It prevents teams from achieving great outcomes because they are not utilizing the potential of conflict.

What does the speaker Chris mean when he says he had to 'get curious about cancer'?

Chris means that he had to approach his cancer diagnosis with curiosity, considering it as something more than just an enemy to be defeated, but also as a source of learning and growth.

How does the story of Father Jack in the healing circle demonstrate the power of vulnerability and curiosity?

Father Jack's willingness to acknowledge his and the church's mistakes and his curiosity to understand others' perspectives turned a chaotic situation into a healing moment, demonstrating the transformative power of vulnerability and curiosity in conflict resolution.