How to get what you want every time: Harvard negotiators explain

Summary

The video script from 'Getting to Yes' by William Ury and Roger Fisher emphasizes that negotiation is not about winning or splitting things evenly, but finding a solution that satisfies both parties without damaging the relationship. It introduces a four-step framework for effective negotiation: focusing on interests, using fair standards, inventing options for mutual gain, and separating the people from the problem. The script also offers strategies for dealing with dirty tactics, power imbalances, and personal attacks, highlighting the importance of understanding interests and maintaining a collaborative approach.

Takeaways

• 📚 The book 'Getting to Yes' by William Ury and Roger Fisher emphasizes that negotiation is not about splitting things 50/50 or insisting on one's own way, but finding a solution that satisfies both parties without damaging the relationship.
• 💡 Negotiation is not about winning or losing; if you're asking who is winning, you've already lost. The focus should be on interests, not positions.
• 🔍 To understand the other party's interests, ask 'why' and try to see things from their point of view. This helps in finding underlying interests which might be hidden or vague.
• 🤝 Open communication about interests can lead to better listening and understanding, which is crucial for successful negotiation.
• 📏 Use fair standards or objective criteria to resolve conflicts, such as market prices, legal requirements, or mutually agreed standards, instead of arguing back and forth.
• 🚀 Invent options for mutual gain by brainstorming all possible solutions without judging them initially, and then refining the most promising ideas.
• 🧩 Differences in negotiation can lead to creative solutions. Embrace these differences as a source of innovation rather than a problem.
• 👥 Separate the people from the problem. Be soft on the person but hard on the problem to avoid damaging the relationship and to focus on finding a solution.
• 🤝 Building a relationship with the other side before the negotiation can increase the success rate significantly.
• 🛡 Develop a BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement) to increase your power in the negotiation and to have a clear understanding of what a minimally acceptable agreement is.
• 💪 Use negotiation jujitsu to sidestep personal attacks by understanding the other party's interests, asking for their advice, or inviting criticism to learn more about their perspective.

Q & A

What is the central theme of the book 'Getting to Yes' by William Ury and Roger Fisher?

The central theme of 'Getting to Yes' is that negotiation is not about splitting things equally or insisting on one's own way, but rather about finding a solution that satisfies both parties' interests without damaging the relationship.

What is the significance of the window argument in the library example?

The window argument in the library example illustrates the importance of focusing on interests rather than positions in a negotiation, leading to a creative solution that satisfies both parties without compromising their core needs.

How does the cake-sharing example demonstrate the importance of fairness in negotiation?

The cake-sharing example shows that using an objective standard, such as having one person cut the cake and the other choose first, can lead to a fair outcome that both parties accept, thus avoiding disputes over perceived unfairness.

What is the key takeaway from the orange argument between two kids?

The key takeaway is that understanding the underlying interests of each party can lead to a solution where both parties get 100% of what they want, instead of just 50%, highlighting the importance of communication and understanding in negotiation.

What is the four-step framework proposed in the script for effective negotiation?

The four-step framework includes: 1) Focus on interests, not positions; 2) Use fair standards to resolve conflicts; 3) Invent options for mutual gain; and 4) Separate the people from the problem to maintain a good relationship while addressing the issue at hand.

Why is it important to focus on interests rather than positions in a negotiation?

Focusing on interests allows negotiators to understand the underlying needs and motivations of each party, which can lead to creative solutions that address those needs without being constrained by rigid positions.

How can using objective criteria help in resolving conflicts during a negotiation?

Using objective criteria, such as market prices or legal requirements, provides an unbiased basis for decision-making, which can help both parties agree on a fair outcome and avoid personal biases or opinions influencing the negotiation.

What does the term 'BATNA' stand for and why is it important in negotiations?

BATNA stands for 'Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement.' It is important because it gives a negotiator the power to walk away from a negotiation if the terms are not satisfactory, thus increasing their bargaining power.

How can one deal with personal attacks during a negotiation?

One can deal with personal attacks by using negotiation jujitsu, which involves side-stepping the attacks, asking for the reasons behind the other party's positions, seeking their advice, or inviting criticism to better understand their interests.

What is the story of the frisbee in Hyde Park meant to convey about the nature of negotiation?

The story is meant to convey that negotiation is not about winning or losing, but about working together to find a solution that satisfies both parties' interests, much like playing a game of frisbee for enjoyment rather than competition.

How can building a relationship with the other side before a negotiation increase the success rate?

Building a relationship allows for better understanding and trust between parties, which can ease the negotiation process, making it more collaborative and less adversarial, and thus increasing the likelihood of a successful outcome.