How to NEVER FIGHT with a woman: the greatest victory requires no battle
Summary
TLDRDr. Orion Taban's talk on 'Psyx: Better Living Through Psychology' offers insights on avoiding conflicts with women, emphasizing that winning an argument is futile due to women's emotional nature. He suggests that selecting the right partner is crucial for a peaceful relationship and advises men to eliminate negative emotions from their communication to prevent escalation. Taban also highlights the importance of maintaining warmth in communication to avoid provoking anxiety and insecurity in women, advocating for mindful speech that fosters understanding and harmony.
Takeaways
- 😀 **Avoid Conflict**: Dr. Orion Taban emphasizes the importance of not engaging in fights with women, as they are often emotionally charged and can't be 'won'.
- 🏆 **No-Win Situation**: Winning or losing an argument with a woman can both result in a loss, highlighting the futility of such conflicts.
- 🌟 **Embrace Peace**: The speaker advocates for a peaceful approach to relationships, which he finds more rewarding and enjoyable.
- 🔍 **Appropriate Selection**: A key to a successful relationship is choosing the right partner, someone who is not prone to drama or emotional instability.
- 🙅♂️ **Self-Examination**: Men should examine their own reasons for keeping women with negative traits in their lives.
- 👀 **Identify Early**: It's crucial to recognize and stop pursuing women who display undesirable traits early in the relationship.
- 💡 **Cultivate Optionality**: Men should avoid becoming emotionally entangled until they are sure of a woman's suitability for a peaceful relationship.
- 🌱 **Positive Communication**: The speaker advises men to remove any negative emotions from their communication to prevent conflict escalation.
- 🌕 **Feminine Nature**: Women, likened to the Moon, are said to magnify and reflect the emotional 'light' given to them by men.
- 🔥 **Remove Irritation**: Even a hint of irritation can be magnified by women, leading to a cycle of negative reactions.
- 🤔 **Mindfulness**: Developing mindfulness of one's words, emotions, and expressions is key to maintaining a conflict-free relationship.
- 🚫 **Avoid Judgment**: Men should aim to disagree or correct without judgment or contempt to maintain harmony.
- 💖 **Emotionally Present**: While negative emotions should be avoided, maintaining emotional presence in communication is important for connection and understanding.
Q & A
What is the main topic of Dr. Orion Taban's talk?
-The main topic of Dr. Orion Taban's talk is how to avoid fighting with a woman and the benefits of maintaining a peaceful relationship.
Why does Dr. Taban believe that fighting with a woman is pointless?
-Dr. Taban believes that fighting with a woman is pointless because, due to the emotional nature of most women, a man cannot win; whether he loses or wins, the outcome is still a loss.
What is the 'unbreakable rule' that Dr. Taban refers to in his talk?
-The 'unbreakable rule' Dr. Taban refers to is the principle that the greatest victory is one that requires no battle, which is applicable to avoiding conflicts in relationships.
What does Dr. Taban suggest is the key to a peaceful and easygoing relationship with a woman?
-Dr. Taban suggests that the key to a peaceful and easygoing relationship with a woman is choosing the right person who is not disagreeable, provocative, or addicted to drama.
What does Dr. Taban mean by 'cultivating optionality' in the context of dating?
-Cultivating optionality means becoming comfortable with having multiple potential partners and not becoming too emotionally entangled with one person until it's clear they are a good fit for a peaceful relationship.
How does Dr. Taban describe the process of dating in his talk?
-Dr. Taban describes the process of dating as an extended hiring process, where one should be selective and not hesitate to stop pursuing someone who doesn't seem like a good fit.
What does Dr. Taban suggest is the feminine nature according to his talk?
-Dr. Taban suggests that the feminine nature is to magnify and reflect what is given to them, similar to how the Moon reflects the light of the Sun.
Why does Dr. Taban advise men to remove negative emotions from their communication with women?
-Dr. Taban advises this because any hint of negative emotion can be magnified by women and reflected back, potentially escalating into a conflict.
What is the importance of maintaining a certain level of emotion in communication with women according to Dr. Taban?
-Maintaining a certain level of emotion in communication is important because removing all emotion can make a woman feel insecure and threatened, potentially provoking her anxiety.
How does Dr. Taban recommend disagreeing, correcting, or checking a woman without causing a negative reaction?
-Dr. Taban recommends doing so by ensuring that the tone is free of irritation, contempt, or negative judgment, and by communicating with warmth and empathy.
What does Dr. Taban suggest is the best way to handle disagreements with women?
-The best way to handle disagreements, according to Dr. Taban, is to ensure that the communication is free of negative emotions and is imbued with warmth and understanding.
Outlines
🤝 Avoiding Conflict with Women: A Man's Perspective
Dr. Orion Taban introduces the concept of avoiding conflicts with women, emphasizing that it's futile to fight with them due to their emotional nature. He suggests that the key to a peaceful relationship lies in choosing the right partner and maintaining a respectful and drama-free interaction. He also touches on the importance of self-reflection to understand why certain individuals might attract such women into their lives. Dr. Taban advises men to be mindful of their tone and communication, ensuring it is free from negative emotions, as women are likely to amplify and reflect any negativity back. He likens women to 'incubators', capable of magnifying and reflecting what they receive, drawing parallels to the Moon reflecting the Sun's light.
🌕 The Feminine Principle of Magnification and Reflection
In this section, Dr. Taban delves into the feminine principle of magnification and reflection, explaining that women are likely to amplify any negative emotions they perceive in a man's communication. He advises men to remove any hint of judgment, condescension, or annoyance from their tone to prevent conflict. The speaker also discusses the importance of maintaining emotional presence in communication, warning against the provocation that can arise from an overly rational and emotionless tone. He suggests that a balance is needed, where men communicate with warmth and without negative emotions, to foster understanding and avoid provoking women's insecurities.
🔄 Balancing Emotion in Communication for Healthy Relationships
Dr. Taban concludes by discussing the importance of balancing emotion in communication to maintain healthy relationships with women. He emphasizes that while it's crucial to eliminate negative emotions from one's tone, it's equally important to retain a sense of warmth and emotional connection. He suggests that this approach can lead to more open and receptive communication, where disagreements can be addressed without provoking a reactive response. The speaker invites feedback on the topic and encourages viewers to like, subscribe, and become channel members for additional perks, highlighting the support of the community as essential for the channel's growth.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Conflict-free relationship
💡Emotional nature
💡Appropriate selection
💡Optionality
💡Emotional entanglement
💡Clarify
💡Magnify and reflect
💡Feminine principle
💡Mindfulness
💡Emotionally invested
💡Intersex understanding
Highlights
Dr. Orion Taban emphasizes the futility of fighting with women, suggesting that it's a losing battle due to the emotional nature of conflicts.
The speaker shares his personal experience of avoiding fights with women and the positive impact on his life.
A successful relationship is attributed to choosing the right person, which is considered 90% of the battle.
The importance of identifying and avoiding women who are disagreeable, provocative, or addicted to drama early in the relationship.
The analogy of dating as an extended hiring process, where difficult women should be let go early on.
The concept of 'optionality' in dating, suggesting that men should not become emotionally entangled until the right person is identified.
The speaker advises men to remove any negative emotions from their communication with women to prevent conflict.
A discussion on the feminine nature of magnifying and reflecting emotions, and its implications in communication.
The advice for men to be mindful of their words, emotions, expressions, and thoughts to avoid negative communication.
The pragmatic approach of removing negative emotions from one's voice as being more effective than trying to change a woman's emotional response.
The idea that men can also provoke arguments by removing all emotions from their communication, leading to women feeling insecure.
The balance of removing negative emotions while maintaining a warm and engaging tone in communication with women.
The speaker's encouragement for listeners to share their experiences and thoughts in the comments section.
An invitation for listeners to like, subscribe, and consider becoming a channel member for additional perks.
The speaker's acknowledgment of the support from the audience and the importance of their contributions to the channel's growth.
A call to action for listeners to engage with the content by liking, subscribing, and potentially booking a paid consultation.
Transcripts
I'm Dr Orion taban and this is psyx
Better Living Through psychology and the
topic of today's short talk is how to
never fight with a
woman it has been many years since I
last fought with a woman gentleman and I
very much intend to keep it that way my
friends there is absolutely no point in
fighting with a woman for the simple
reason that you cannot win because of
the emotional nature of most women when
you lose you lose and when you win you
still lose when it comes to fighting
with a woman the only winning move is
not to play much like sunu counil
thousands of years ago the greatest
Victory is that which requires no battle
and this is a worthwhile goal because
let me tell you gentlemen my life has
been so much more peaceful so much more
loving and so much more enjoyable since
I figured out how to do this and I'm
here to share my secrets with you today
if I can do it you can do it too this
may go without saying but enjoying a
conflict free relationship with a woman
starts with appropriate selection at
this stage of my life I now believe that
90% of a successful relationship is
choosing the right person as I've
discussed previously you can't have any
relationship with anyone what does this
mean well in the context of this
discussion it means that you cannot have
a peaceful and easygoing relationship
with a woman who is disagreeable or
provocative or addicted to drama or
unable to regulate her own emotions Etc
it's just not possible and you may need
to examine yourselves just like I did to
determine why it is you may be actively
working to keep such women in your lives
now the bad news is that there are a lot
of such women out there especially when
we're talking about younger women
however the good news is that these
women tell on themselves all the time
they're actually pretty easy to identify
fairly early in the courtship process
and once you
do just stop pursuing her let that plate
fall as I've previously discussed dating
is an extended hiring process imagine
you were interviewing a woman for a job
who was difficult and argumentative in
the very first meeting a worthwhile
company with plenty of interested
applicants would have no problem wishing
her all the best with her search you
need to get comfortable doing the same
and the pathway to doing so is
cultivating optionality until you get to
this point gentlemen you're probably
thinking with the wrong head and you
will continue to suffer until you bring
that thought process a little higher so
a big part of the solution here is to
refrain from becoming emotionally
entangled L with a woman until you've
determined that she is someone with whom
you can have a peaceful conflict-free
relationship so let's assume you've
already done that like the wise high
value man that you are does this mean
that it's all smooth sailing not
necessarily however what I'd like you to
consider is that whether you fight with
a woman might have more to do with you
than you might realize just like women
can be disrespectful to men without
realizing it and as I've said it's their
responsibility to stay on the sunny side
of the unbreakable rule men can be
antagonistic without realizing it and
it's your responsibility to clarify your
tone when speaking with a woman I'm
using the word clarify in the sense of
clean up just like I've advised women to
remove every disrespectful word tone and
gesture from their communication with
men I'm advising you men to remove every
hint of annoyance or aggravation or
judgment or really any negative emotion
from your communication with women let
me
explain one way to think about women is
that they are incubators whatever you
give them they will magnify and
reflect magnify and reflect that's
feminine nature give them one tiny
little sperm
and 9 months later they will give you
back a whole human being to my knowledge
in every culture that has existed on
this planet the Moon is feminine and the
Sun is masculine and why is the Moon
bright she shines through the reflected
light of the Sun the quality of the
Moonlight is almost entirely determined
by the quality of the sunlight do you
understand if the sun gives off good
light then the sun is much more likely
to enjoy that good light when it is
reflected back at it of course this
isn't entirely up to the sun because the
Moon is always shifting through its
cycle but this is the sun's best
possible move the idea here is to remove
every word tone or gesture that could be
construed as judgmental condescending
contemptuous or Ang angry from your
communication with women why because if
you give a woman even a hint of
irritation she's going to magnify that
into aggravation and reflect it back at
you and if you give her aggravation in
return she's going to magnify that into
exasperation and reflect that back to
you and before you know it you're off to
the races in any case my point is that
the Genesis of the conflict can often be
traced back to some tiny little trace of
negative emotion in your tone of voice
now before I go any further if you're
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you
now at this point you might be saying to
yourself this is
Orion does having some tiny little trace
of a negative emotion in my tone justify
a woman flying off the handle why does
she have to make such a big deal out of
something so small are you taking the
woman's side here to this I would
respond I hear you my dude for a long
long time I thought as you did and what
I have since real realized is that as
difficult as it is it's actually easier
to remove every trace of negative
emotion from my voice then it is to
convince a woman that her emotional
response is disproportionate to the
situation that just doesn't work and I'm
nothing if not a pragmatist I want what
works what is effective believing that
women shouldn't make a big deal out of
something so small is at odds with the
feminine principle of magnify and
reflect and when I accept that this
principle might be true a lot of
feminine Behavior makes sense which is a
pretty good test of a theory also I'm on
the side of peace and higher
understanding a lot of women have a
bunch of nonsense in their heads which
makes relationships with them difficult
if not impossible but that doesn't mean
that we men have perfect clarity either
clarifying our tone helps us take care
of our side of the street now removing
all traces of negativity from your tone
is actually pretty difficult it will
take some time to accomplish basically
because you have to learn to be
perpetually mindful mindful of your
words mindful of your emotions mindful
of your expressions and this ultimately
requires you to be mindful of your
thoughts as your thoughts are the
Upstream source of all the other
behaviors as you do this you will likely
to appreciate that you may be expressing
negativity especially
judgmentalism more often than you
imagine you may even have been doing it
unconsciously and unintentionally in any
case you will likely feel better in your
own subjectivity when you start to
clarify your thinking as well you're the
one who's actually in direct contact
with those negative emotions anyway
wouldn't you prefer not to feel annoyed
or aggravated or
judgmental so what does this mean does
this mean that you can never disagree
with a woman or correct her when she's
wrong or check her when she's out of
bounds absolutely not but might you need
to find ways to disagree correct or
check without expressing irritation
contempt or negative judgment
absolutely now the flip side of this is
that sometimes men can take this advice
too far paradoxically the other way that
men can unwittingly provoke arguments
with their women is by removing all the
emotion from their communication and
this is because removing all the emotion
from your voice can actually be pretty
scary to a woman it's like she can't
feel you there with her in that moment
and that will likely Spike her
insecurity which as I discussed in why
women pick fights is one of the primary
reasons women can be provocative
themselves
removing emotion from their voices is
actually a failing of intersex
understanding let me briefly explain
emotion is generally provocative I mean
one of its main uses is to motivate
emotion to create motion so when men
have a problem with other men and we're
not looking to escalate the situation
any further as a rule of thumb we're
going to take all the emotion out of our
voices we're GNA talk nice and slow and
we're going to be very calm and we're
going to resolve this issue with
rational
discussion you see what I did with my
tone of voice there men what you have to
understand is that women pay much more
attention to tone than we do if you take
all the emotion out of your voice what
does she
[Music]
hear
does that sound warm and loving does
that sound like you're on the same team
not really and that's going to provoke
her anxiety and insecurity because
suddenly she feels as though the basis
of the relationship is being threatened
and this in turn may lead to her
escalating the situation in a
counterproductive attempt to reassure
herself that you are still emotionally
invested in her so you want to remove
all hints of negative emotion from your
tone but you don't want to remove all
emotion entirely just listen to how I'm
talking now the goal is to imbue your
words with like an undifferentiated
warmth and let me tell you if you have
warmth in your voice and a little
twinkle in your eye you can say pretty
much anything you want to a woman and
she will listen to you without being
reactive ideally she'll even join with
you and you can laugh together at
whatever Ridiculousness she was on about
now so what do you think does this fit
with your own experience let me know in
the comments below and if you've gotten
this far you might as well like this
episode And subscribe to this channel
you may also consider becoming a channel
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consultation as always thank you for
listening
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