Will I Ever Find "The One"?

Summary

Father Mike Schmitz challenges the concept of 'the one' in relationships, arguing that there isn't a perfect soulmate destined to fulfill all one's happiness. He shares how this mindset can lead to indecision and dissatisfaction. Instead, he emphasizes that marriage is about self-giving love and growth, rather than personal fulfillment. Ultimately, the only true 'one' we are meant to be with is Jesus, whose love is the foundation of true fulfillment. Schmitz encourages viewers to focus on their relationship with Jesus as the key to a meaningful life.

Takeaways

• 🐿️ Father Mike Schmitz begins with a humorous anecdote about being distracted by a squirrel, setting a light-hearted tone for the discussion.
• 💍 He discusses the common romantic notion of 'the one', questioning whether there is truly one perfect person for everyone.
• 🙅‍♂️ Father Mike asserts that there isn't just one person out there who can complete you, challenging the traditional idea of a soulmate.
• 🤔 He shares a personal story of a priest suggesting that there could be multiple people one could marry and be happy with, which initially seemed unromantic but later made sense.
• 🧠 Father Mike emphasizes the importance of using your intellect and will in making decisions, including choosing a spouse.
• 🚫 He warns against the idea that there is one perfect choice out there, which can lead to 'analysis paralysis' and indecision.
• 👖 He references Barry Schwartz's 'Paradox of Choice', illustrating how an abundance of options can decrease satisfaction with the choices we make.
• 🤝 Father Mike suggests that marriage is not about finding the perfect partner for personal fulfillment, but about self-donation and mutual growth.
• 💔 The concept of a soulmate can be harmful because it sets unrealistic expectations for marriage and happiness.
• ❤️ The ultimate fulfillment and purpose in life, according to Father Mike, is not found in another person but in one's relationship with Jesus.

Q & A

What is Father Mike Schmitz's perspective on the concept of 'the one'?

Father Mike Schmitz suggests that the concept of 'the one' is both 'no' and 'yes'. He believes that there isn't one specific person out there that will guarantee your happiness, but there could be multiple people with whom you could have a fulfilling relationship.

What did Father Mike Schmitz's college chaplain tell him about marriage?

Father Mike Schmitz's college chaplain told him that there were probably about fifteen women in his life that he could have married and been just as happy with as anyone else, implying that there isn't a single 'the one'.

How does Father Mike Schmitz think the concept of 'the one' can affect our happiness and holiness?

He believes that the pursuit of 'the one' can lead to analysis paralysis and reduce our satisfaction with our decisions. This can not only affect our happiness but also our holiness, as it distracts us from using our intellect and will to make decisions.

What is the 'Paradox of Choice' mentioned by Father Mike Schmitz?

The 'Paradox of Choice' is a concept presented by sociologist Barry Schwartz, which suggests that having too many options can lead to indecision and dissatisfaction, as people may always think a better option exists.

Why does Father Mike Schmitz argue that the concept of 'the one' can lead to analysis paralysis?

He argues that if one believes there is only one perfect person out there, the pressure to find that person and avoid all other potential partners can lead to indecision and a fear of making the wrong choice.

What does Father Mike Schmitz say about the role of intellect and will in choosing a spouse?

He states that God gave us a brain and a will, expecting us to use them to discern and choose our spouse, rather than relying on the idea of a predestined 'soulmate'.

How does Father Mike Schmitz define marriage?

Father Mike Schmitz defines marriage as a place where individuals go to 'die' to themselves out of love for their spouse, becoming the person they are called to be and helping their spouse do the same.

What is the main purpose of marriage according to Father Mike Schmitz?

According to Father Mike Schmitz, the main purpose of marriage is not self-fulfillment but self-donation and self-giving.

Who does Father Mike Schmitz identify as 'the one' that we are made for?

Father Mike Schmitz identifies Jesus as 'the one' that we are made for, emphasizing that our hearts should beat for Him.

What question does Father Mike Schmitz pose to the audience about their relationship with Jesus?

Father Mike Schmitz asks the audience if they have talked to 'You're the one' (referring to Jesus) today and encourages them to give their heart to Him.