How to stop mentally escaping

Summary

This video discusses the psychological impact of procrastination and how it subconsciously affects all aspects of life. The speaker reflects on how delaying important tasks creates emotional anxiety, diminishing our ability to fully enjoy everyday activities. They suggest a solution: 'submission'—relaxing into discomfort and doing the difficult tasks first to change the narrative of our lives. Using cold showers and cliff jumping as metaphors, the speaker encourages viewers to stop overthinking and act. The video is sponsored by Audible, recommending 'The ONE Thing' by Gary Keller to aid in this mindset shift.

Takeaways

• 🤔 We often carry unresolved tasks or emotions from the past that affect our present lives and experiences.
• 😟 Chronic procrastination creates a constant feeling of anxiety and prevents us from fully enjoying the present moment.
• 😬 Escapism and putting off important tasks influence our mental state, infecting even positive experiences with guilt or unease.
• 📆 Procrastination is a cycle: we delay tasks, feel guilty, eventually complete them, and then repeat the behavior.
• ⏳ Changing the order in which we approach tasks, by doing the most important things first, can dramatically improve our sense of fulfillment.
• 🧠 Rational reasons for doing tasks often fail because procrastination is more of an emotional problem than a logical one.
• 🙌 The solution is emotional submission: accepting the discomfort of the task and melting into it without overthinking or resisting.
• ❄️ Similar to jumping off a cliff or taking a cold shower, submission to discomfort can reduce the feeling of resistance and even lead to euphoria.
• 🧘 By relaxing and submitting to tasks, we can focus better, reduce stress, and complete what needs to be done with less mental strain.
• 📚 The video recommends 'The ONE Thing' by Gary Keller as further reading to help focus on important tasks, and promotes Audible as a sponsor for accessing audiobooks.

Q & A

What is the central message of the video?

The central message of the video is about how procrastination and escapism can negatively affect our lives by creating a subconscious sense of anxiety and incompleteness, and how submission to important tasks can help overcome this problem.

How does the speaker relate procrastination to 'mental air time'?

The speaker explains that procrastination creates 'mental air time,' which means that while we procrastinate, we are constantly aware of the undone tasks. This awareness subconsciously affects our mood, energy, and interactions with others, making everything feel less fulfilling.

What is the 'submission' tactic described in the video?

Submission, in the context of the video, is about emotionally and physically letting go of the resistance to doing a difficult task. Instead of fighting the urge to procrastinate, we submit to the task, much like jumping into cold water or taking a cold shower, and accept the discomfort.

Why does the speaker compare submitting to tasks to taking a cold shower?

The speaker compares submitting to tasks to taking a cold shower because both involve accepting discomfort rather than resisting it. By relaxing into the discomfort and mentally preparing yourself for it, the task or experience becomes less daunting and easier to handle.

What does the speaker suggest is the irrational aspect of procrastination?

The speaker suggests that procrastination is irrational because even when we know logically that completing a task will improve our lives, we often allow our 'monkey brain' to overpower logic with rationalizations to delay it.

How can changing the order of tasks affect the 'narrative of our lives'?

Changing the order of tasks, by doing the most important things earlier in the day, can positively alter the narrative of our lives. When we complete important tasks first, we feel more accomplished, relaxed, and capable, which affects our overall well-being and mindset.

What does the speaker mean by 'submitting to the highest version of yourself'?

Submitting to the highest version of yourself means trusting that the best version of you knows what is important and what needs to be done. By following that intuition and doing the important tasks, you align with your long-term goals and personal growth.

What role does procrastination play in creating anxiety, according to the speaker?

Procrastination creates anxiety by keeping us in a mental state of incompleteness. Even if we’re doing other enjoyable activities, our mind is distracted by the knowledge that there’s something more important left undone, which creates a constant, underlying feeling of unease.

How does the speaker suggest overcoming procrastination when logic fails?

The speaker suggests that instead of relying on logic to overcome procrastination, we need to adopt an emotional approach—submission. This involves accepting the discomfort of doing the task, turning off the rationalizing mind, and simply doing what needs to be done.

What resource does the speaker recommend for further reading on this topic?

The speaker recommends the audiobook 'The ONE Thing' by Gary Keller, which discusses focusing on the most important tasks to transform one's life and improve productivity.

Outlines

00:00

🎬 The Subconscious Impact of Past Actions

In this section, the speaker reflects on a scene from the movie 'Hannah and Her Sisters,' where a character's emotional turmoil highlights how unresolved past actions, like affairs, can subconsciously impact the present. The speaker connects this concept to real life, explaining how procrastination and unaddressed tasks can infect our daily actions and conversations. The idea of 'mental air time' is introduced, where unfinished tasks create an emotional burden, lowering the quality of life without people realizing it.

05:01

💡 Procrastination and Its Broader Impact

The speaker delves deeper into the toxic nature of procrastination, describing how it extends beyond just avoiding tasks. Procrastination creates a sense of underlying anxiety, affecting one's ability to be present in daily interactions. The speaker explains how everything, from conversations to enjoyable moments, becomes tainted by the lingering knowledge of unfinished tasks. They argue that while procrastinators eventually complete the task, this cycle of delay negatively impacts self-perception and quality of life.

🔄 The Cycle of Escapism and Its Consequences

The speaker points out that despite putting off tasks, people usually end up completing them when the consequences become too overwhelming to ignore. They suggest that the key to breaking the cycle of procrastination is not avoiding the task but changing the order in which it's done. By tackling the most important task early in the day, individuals can shift their mindset, reducing stress and allowing themselves to enjoy other activities without the burden of procrastination.

🧘 Submission as the Key to Overcoming Procrastination

The speaker introduces an unconventional solution to procrastination: submission. Rather than relying on rational arguments, they suggest that the key to overcoming procrastination lies in accepting the difficulty of a task, relaxing the tension in the body, and simply doing the task. Submission is described as a physiological approach, acknowledging that the rational brain often gets overpowered by impulsive desires, but focusing on relaxation can help people take action.

❄️ The Cold Shower Analogy

To further explain the concept of submission, the speaker uses the analogy of taking cold showers or cliff jumping. They describe how resistance only increases discomfort, while accepting the challenge and submitting to the discomfort allows for an easier, even euphoric experience. In the same way, submitting to tasks without overthinking them reduces the mental and emotional barriers, making it easier to complete them.

💪 Shifting Mindsets and the Power of Submission

Here, the speaker emphasizes that submission is more than just psychological—it’s about shifting one’s mindset. By consistently confronting and completing important tasks, individuals can rewire their subconscious and begin to trust their ability to tackle problems. This approach leads to a sense of fulfillment and calm, allowing for a more productive and fulfilling life where tasks are not constantly looming in the background.

📚 Productivity and the Power of Focus: Book Recommendation

The speaker recommends the audiobook 'The ONE Thing' by Gary Keller, which focuses on simplifying tasks and tackling the most important one early. They explain how this book aligns with the themes discussed in the video, helping people avoid procrastination by focusing on their priorities. This recommendation is linked to the video sponsor, Audible, and the speaker provides details about Audible’s subscription model and how viewers can access the audiobook for free.

👍 Support Through Engagement

In the final section, the speaker encourages viewers to engage with the content by liking and subscribing. They explain how the YouTube algorithm works in their favor when people hit the like button, helping to spread their ideas to a wider audience. The speaker ends by appealing to loyal viewers who haven’t subscribed yet to join the community, emphasizing that this support helps both the viewers and the channel.

Keywords

💡Procrastination

Procrastination refers to the act of delaying or postponing tasks. In the video, it is presented as a form of escapism, where individuals avoid important tasks, which in turn negatively impacts all aspects of their lives. The speaker highlights how procrastination leads to emotional disturbance and anxiety, as unfinished tasks linger subconsciously, tainting every experience.

💡Escapism

Escapism is the tendency to avoid facing problems or responsibilities by engaging in distractions. The video frames procrastination as a form of escapism, where individuals neglect what needs to be done by immersing themselves in less important activities, like watching videos or playing games. This avoidance creates long-term emotional unrest, according to the speaker.

💡Mental air time

Mental air time refers to the mental space occupied by unfinished tasks that haven't been addressed. The speaker emphasizes that by not addressing important things, people remain emotionally trapped, constantly aware of what is left undone. This subconscious awareness negatively affects how individuals experience the present moment.

💡Submission

Submission, in the context of the video, is described as the act of 'melting into' what needs to be done rather than fighting it. The speaker explains that this tactic involves accepting discomfort or resistance and taking action despite it. The term is used as a solution to overcoming procrastination by submitting to tasks rather than overthinking them.

💡Rationalization

Rationalization is the process of justifying one's actions or inactions with seemingly logical reasons. The video mentions how the 'monkey brain' creates rationalizations to avoid doing important tasks. This cognitive process is portrayed as a way the mind tricks itself into procrastinating by finding excuses.

💡Monkey brain

Monkey brain is used metaphorically to describe the instinctive, irrational part of the human mind that seeks immediate gratification. In the video, the speaker contrasts the 'monkey brain' with rational thinking, noting how the former tends to hijack decision-making, leading to procrastination and avoidance of important tasks.

💡Emotional disturbance

Emotional disturbance refers to the state of unease and anxiety caused by unresolved tasks or unfinished business. The speaker illustrates how procrastination leads to a constant state of emotional unrest, as individuals are subconsciously aware that they are not where they should be, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and anxiety.

💡Discomfort

Discomfort is a key concept tied to the idea of submission in the video. The speaker suggests that embracing discomfort, rather than resisting it, is essential to overcoming procrastination. The examples of taking cold showers and cliff jumping are used to demonstrate how submitting to discomfort can be a powerful way to move forward and complete difficult tasks.

💡Cycle of procrastination

The cycle of procrastination describes the recurring pattern where individuals delay tasks until the pressure of deadlines forces them to complete the work, only to repeat the same behavior in the future. The speaker points out how this cycle perpetuates feelings of inadequacy and stress, making life less fulfilling.

💡Highest version of yourself

The highest version of yourself refers to the ideal, most capable, and responsible version of a person that prioritizes important tasks and lives with purpose. The speaker encourages submission to this version, stating that by doing so, individuals can break free from procrastination and live more fulfilling lives by aligning their actions with their true potential.

Highlights

The protagonist reflects on a scene from 'Hannah and Her Sisters' to introduce the idea of unresolved past actions affecting the present.

We often leave things undone, and this subconsciously impacts everything we do in the present, reducing our quality of life.

The insidious nature of procrastination infects not only the tasks left undone but every other part of life as well.

People procrastinate so habitually that they don't even realize the negative impact it's having on their overall well-being.

Procrastination causes a mental dissonance where one is always haunted by what they haven't done, affecting their emotions and sense of self.

The speaker introduces the concept of 'mental air time,' the subconscious space occupied by the things left undone.

We are often emotionally detached from the present because we're focused on the tasks we procrastinate on.

The speaker points out the irrational nature of procrastination, noting that knowing the consequences isn’t enough to stop it.

The key to overcoming procrastination isn't rational but emotional, involving a sense of 'submission' to the tasks we must do.

The idea of 'submission' is explained as not forcing yourself to work but relaxing into the discomfort and just starting.

This feeling of submission is compared to jumping off a cliff or taking a cold shower—just let go and act.

Procrastination is like resisting the cold in a shower—when you relax and accept it, the discomfort fades.

Overcoming procrastination can improve your self-perception and make you feel more capable.

By doing the most important task early in the day, you change the narrative of your life and increase your mental freedom.

The speaker ties everything together by recommending the book 'The ONE Thing' by Gary Keller to help with task prioritization.

Transcripts

- So I was watching this Woody Allen film

called "Hannah and Her Sisters," and in the movie,

there's this scene where Michael Kane's character, Elliot,

is sitting at the dinner table with his wife, Hannah.

Now, Elliot is completely emotionally detached,

he is disturbed, and that's because he's been having

an affair with his wife's sister.

Shocking stuff, I know.

But this scene really got me thinking

about the way in which a lot of us live our entire lives,

hopefully not by having affairs with our wife's sisters,

but what I mean is that we do certain things

or leave certain things undone in the past

that continue to eat away at us subconsciously

in the present.

And a lot of the time, we do this so compulsively

that we don't even know that we're doing it.

We just see it as normal, we don't know anything else,

yet we're living a lower quality of life because of it.

Every single thing that we do,

every single conversation that we have

is infected by the things that we've left

usually undone in the past.

And I think this is the most insidiously toxic thing

about escapism and procrastination,

and that is because of something

I like to call mental air time.

When we haven't yet done what we know we're supposed to do

and we have a tendency to put these things off

every single day, then we exist in a mental framework

where we are a person who hasn't yet done the thing

that we're supposed to do.

And over a long period of time,

this really changes how we feel about our entire lives,

because no matter what we're doing,

no matter what kind of conversation we're having,

no matter how special the person

we're having that conversation with is,

we are subconsciously tainted by the fact

that we are not where we're supposed to be,

we are not being who we're supposed to be.

And we live our entire lives like this

emotionally disturbed with this feeling of anxiety

that's just always there because of our chronic escapism.

People don't talk about procrastination this way, it's nuts,

because when we procrastinate, it's not just the thing

that we're supposed to do that suffers,

everything else suffers as well

because we're not present with it,

we don't have the mental capacity to enjoy it.

Anything good in our lives is infected with this feeling

like it's not good enough, we're not supposed to be here

because there's that other thing

that we're supposed to be doing.

And the weird thing is,

it's not like we're never going to do that thing,

we usually end up doing it.

Usually the deadline comes closer,

the repercussions for not doing it grows scarier

and more acute,

so we eventually guilt ourselves into eventually doing it

so that we can repeat that cycle every single day

for the rest of our lives.

But what's crazy is since we end up doing it anyways,

there's great utility to just changing the order

in which we do things.

We can escape and do all of the other bullshit later,

but if we could find a way

to do the the most important thing that we need to do

earlier in the day,

then we could change the entire narrative of our lives.

We could change the way we feel about ourselves,

about our capability to solve problems.

And the theme of our lives that's echoing

through our subconscious becomes,

oh yes, I can play video games, I can watch this movie,

I can enjoy this conversation,

because I've already done the thing that I'm supposed to do.

So how do we do it? That's the golden question.

Well, knowing what it's doing to us is great

and I think this will help you get some motivation

to just do the damn thing, but when push comes to shove,

this is an irrational problem.

I can give you all the rationality in the world

but when you're faced with the crossroads

of watching this funny little YouTube video

versus writing a research paper,

something other than logic takes over.

Your monkey brain kind of bullies your rational brain

into coming up with a rationalization

to justify some suboptimal behavior.

So the answer can't be logical.

It has to be an emotional tactic

and I think that tactic is submission.

- Submission.

You know, that's a bit of a problem.

- Nobody talks about this word submission

in a productivity context.

They talk about it in other contexts

but we're not gonna get into those other contexts.

That's not what this channel's about.

What I mean by submission, it is a feeling of melting

into what you're supposed to be doing.

It's not increasing the tension in your body

to try to fight and bully your monkey brain

into doing what your more logical side

of your brain wants it to do.

No, it's acknowledging

that doing what you're supposed to do feels difficult,

it's feeling that tension that's stopping you

from doing that thing, and letting go of it,

and doing the thing anyways.

We need to get good at shutting the brain off,

stopping the chatter of rationalization and escapism,

reduce the tension in our body,

take a deep breath, and just do the thing.

We can think about all the rationalizations afterwards.

But submitting to what you already know

you're supposed to be doing

is less of a psychological feeling,

it's more of a physiological feeling.

And again, this might sound very woo-woo,

but if you've ever tried to take cold showers

or go cliff jumping with your friends,

it's the same feeling.

You almost submit to the discomfort.

If you're standing there at the edge of the cliff

and you don't want to jump,

even though you know it's perfectly safe,

it's a very steep drop off, very deep water,

nothing could happen to you.

You almost need to just submit to the gravity.

Same thing with cold showers.

If you already know you're going to enter

into the cold shower and feel very uncomfortable,

the only way that you're gonna get in there

is if you just walk in.

You stop the chatter, you stop thinking.

The mind is corrosive.

It'll try to figure out all these different little ways

to weasel out of it and you don't end up doing it.

It's like if you already know this is what you must do,

relax your body and submit to it.

And while you're in the cold shower,

it feels so much colder if you maintain this resistance,

if you try to fight the cold,

if you tense up your body

and you try to convince yourself to power through it.

It's so much better if you just concentrate on the cold,

you fully submit to it, you fully focus on it,

and you accept the fact that it's cold,

and then it ceases to be so cold.

You're allowing yourself to relax into this discomfort,

and it actually feels quite euphoric when you do that.

I think this is the key to stop procrastinating.

I think this is the key

to make better decisions in the moment.

You've already heard the logical reasons

as to why you should do the thing

that you're supposed to do.

You know that your life will be dramatically better

if the majority of the time you spend here on this Earth,

you exist in a head space where you have already done

the most important thing that you need to do.

You already know that this is so good for you.

The only step now is when you're confronted

with the crossroads is to just turn the brain off,

to submit to what you're supposed to do.

It's like submitting to the highest version of yourself

and you start to develop trust

that that highest version of yourself

has your best interest in mind.

So if you are now motivated and excited

to submit to your destiny and you want further reading

or other resources that will help you do that,

then I highly recommend the audiobook,

"The ONE Thing" by Gary Keller,

which is an audiobook I frequently revisit

using today's video sponsor, Audible,

because that book really talks about a lot

of the things that I talked about in this video.

It's about distilling down all of these things

that you have to do into this important thing

and it helps you tackle doing this thing

as early as possible

so that you can live the rest of your day

having already done this thing

and having that very narrative change your entire life.

And for those of you who don't know,

Audible is the leading provider of spoken word,

entertainment, and audiobooks all in one place.

Every single month, they send you one credit,

which you can spend on any audiobook of your choice

regardless of cost,

and you get to keep that audiobook forever.

If you ever cancel your subscription

for any reason at any point,

you still keep your entire library of audiobooks,

including the audiobooks that you got for free

using their credit system.

Audible members also get instant access

to a rapidly expanding catalog of Audible originals,

podcasts, and exclusive series.

So if you're interested in joining me

in becoming big brained and soaking in information

from people who are a lot smarter than I am,

then if you use my link in the description below,

you'll get a 30-day free trial

so you can download "The ONE Thing"

by Gary Keller right now within one minute.

You can also just text betterideas to 500-500.

So once again, to sign up for your 30-day free trial,

click my link in the description below,

go to audible.com/betterideas

or text betterideas to 500-500.

Thanks again to Audible for sponsoring this video.

If you liked this video and you got a lot out of it,

then consider actually hitting the like button

because when you hit the like button

the algorithm blesses me

by shoving my bald head into other people's homepages,

helping them out which also helps me out,

so it's a win-win for everybody involved.

You get to spread the love of ideas, and goodness,

and big brainness with other people

and that's just fantastic.

Why wouldn't you wanna do that?

If you're lurking here,

and this is the thousandth brazillionth time

that you've seen my face,

consider hitting the subscribe button.

Other than that, thank you so much for watching

and we'll catch you in the next video.