The Power of Partner Dance | Joe DeMers | TEDxYouth@MileHigh

Summary

The speaker shares his transformative journey with dance, from initial fear and shame to finding community and connection. He highlights the power of partner dancing as a means to relate and understand others through nonverbal communication and 'frame matching'. The talk includes engaging demonstrations with dance partners, showcasing Lindy Hop and blues dancing, and emphasizes the importance of respect, values, and building safe spaces for learning and expression. The speaker encourages the audience to embrace partner dancing as a way to connect with others on a platonic level and to build meaningful relationships.

Takeaways

• 😄 The speaker initially felt fear and shame about dancing due to negative comments from peers.
• 💃 The speaker found a love for dance later in life, particularly as a means to connect with others and build community.
• 🤝 Social dance was initially learned as a way to meet women, but it evolved into something more meaningful for the speaker.
• 😂 There are many awkward moments in learning to dance, such as getting too close to a partner or dealing with physical mishaps.
• 👫 Partner dancing is about connecting and relating to others on a platonic level, emphasizing respect and communication.
• 🎶 The speaker and his dance partner, Lauren, demonstrate Lindy Hop and blues dancing, highlighting the joy and connection it brings.
• 🤔 'Frame matching' is a concept in partner dancing that involves nonverbal communication and accurately understanding cues from a partner.
• 🔄 Being a good leader in dance also means being a good follower, showing the importance of listening and responding in the dance.
• 👥 Partner dancing can teach valuable lessons about platonic touch and the power of connection through non-intimate physical contact.
• 🌐 Dance communities, like the one in Colorado, are built on creating safe spaces where people can learn and grow without judgment.
• 💌 The ultimate message is an invitation to engage in partner dancing as a way to connect, understand, and build meaningful relationships.

Q & A

What was the speaker's initial experience with dancing during middle school?

The speaker initially felt afraid of dancing in middle school due to being shamed by friends who commented on their lack of rhythm and poor dance movements.

How did the speaker's attitude towards dancing change by the end of high school?

By the end of high school, the speaker learned to dance behind closed doors without judgment or shame, and later learned to social dance as a means to meet women, which eventually became more than just that for him.

What is the significance of 'partner dancing' in the speaker's perspective?

Partner dancing is significant for the speaker as it provides an opportunity to connect with others, understand and relate to people through the shared experience of dance.

What is the role of community in the speaker's dance journey?

Community played a crucial role in the speaker's dance journey by providing a supportive environment where he could explore dance without judgment, especially after finding a social dance class in high school.

How did the speaker's teacher contribute to his understanding of dance?

The speaker's teacher taught him etiquette, including how to ask someone to dance and how to embrace someone respectfully, which helped him understand the cultural importance of dance.

What is the concept of 'frame matching' in the context of the speaker's research?

'Frame matching' is a concept from the speaker's research that refers to communicating with each other through nonverbal cues in partner dancing, which is essential for connecting and collaborating with a dance partner.

How does the speaker describe the importance of nonverbal communication in dance?

The speaker emphasizes that nonverbal communication is a significant part of dance, with 70% of communication being nonverbal, and learning to connect with a partner allows for more accurate communication and improvisation.

What is the significance of the platonic dialogue in the context of partner dancing?

The platonic dialogue in partner dancing refers to the idea of sharing, expressing, and collaborating creatively with one another in a non-romantic or non-intimate manner.

How does the speaker view the cultural messages about men and physical touch in the context of partner dancing?

The speaker notes that cultural messages often suggest men aren't allowed to touch or engage physically, except in sports or aggressive situations. Partner dancing can challenge these norms by teaching the power of non-intimate touch to connect with another person.

What is the role of values and etiquette in building a dance community according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, values such as respect and clear communication of needs and boundaries are crucial in building a dance community. Etiquette in dance involves listening to the intent of messages and responding appropriately, which fosters a safe and engaging environment.

What is the speaker's final invitation to the audience?

The speaker invites the audience to join him in dancing, to learn to connect not just in dance but to relate, understand, and build connections with other human beings.