God saved me from a porn + masturbation addiction | Christian woman testimony

Stephanie Hu
6 Jan 202313:40

Summary

TLDRIn this candid video, the speaker shares a deeply personal journey of overcoming addiction to porn and masturbation, which once separated them from their Christian faith. Initially, they struggled with the shame and silence surrounding these issues, especially as a woman. However, through a transformative encounter with the Bible and a genuine desire to be closer to God, they found the strength to break free from the cycle of addiction. The speaker emphasizes the power of God's grace, the importance of seeking accountability, and the liberating effect of sharing one's testimony. They encourage viewers to explore the Bible to experience a life-changing connection with God.

Takeaways

  • πŸŽ‰ The video is a personal testimony about overcoming addiction to porn and masturbation with the help of God.
  • πŸ”’ The speaker first encountered porn at a young age and developed a secret habit that led to feelings of shame and separation from God.
  • 🏠 The habit began during times of being alone at home, which provided opportunities to explore and indulge in the addiction.
  • 🚫 The speaker felt societal and church stereotypes often overlooked the issue of porn and masturbation among females, which hindered seeking help.
  • πŸ—£οΈ In college, the speaker was initially reluctant to share the full extent of their struggles in their testimony due to fear of judgment.
  • πŸ’‘ A spiritual nudge encouraged the speaker to include their addiction in their testimony, leading to a realization of God's transformative power.
  • πŸ“– The speaker's journey of recovery involved reading the Bible and seeking a deeper understanding of God, which helped in overcoming the addiction.
  • πŸ™ The importance of prayer and seeking God's strength, rather than relying on one's own, was key to maintaining the victory over the addiction.
  • πŸ”„ The speaker experienced a relapse but learned from it, realizing the need for accountability and actively avoiding triggers.
  • 🌟 The transformation was not self-achieved but attributed to God's grace, highlighting the role of divine intervention in overcoming personal struggles.
  • πŸ“š The speaker encourages others to read the Bible as a means to experience personal transformation and to understand that God's love is unconditional.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the video?

    -The main theme of the video is the personal journey of overcoming porn and masturbation addiction with the help of faith in God.

  • Why does the speaker feel it is important to share their story?

    -The speaker feels it is important to share their story to demonstrate how God helped them overcome their addiction and to encourage others who might be facing similar struggles.

  • At what age did the speaker first encounter pornographic content?

    -The speaker first encountered pornographic content when they were quite young, though the exact age is not specified in the script.

  • What role did curiosity play in the speaker's initial engagement with pornographic content?

    -Curiosity led the speaker to look up images and videos of porn after first encountering such content, which eventually led to the development of an addiction.

  • How did the speaker's perception of their addiction change after sharing their testimony with a small group?

    -After sharing their testimony, the speaker realized that their addiction was not just about personal struggle but also a spiritual battle, and that God could use their story for good.

  • What was the speaker's initial reason for not wanting to include their addiction in their testimony?

    -The speaker initially did not want to include their addiction in their testimony because they feared being perceived as unlikable, gross, or a fake Christian by others.

  • What mistake did the speaker realize they made after sharing their testimony and feeling a sense of victory over their addiction?

    -The speaker realized they made the mistake of not seeking accountability or help, and of relying on their own strength rather than God's.

  • How did the speaker's approach to overcoming their addiction change after a period of relapse?

    -After relapse, the speaker began to actively read the Bible, seek Christian content, and question their beliefs, which led to a deeper understanding of God and a renewed desire to overcome their addiction.

  • What was the turning point for the speaker in their journey to overcome addiction?

    -The turning point was when the speaker started reading the Bible out of curiosity and became more engrossed in learning about God, which led to a desire to be closer to Him and to overcome their addiction.

  • What advice does the speaker give to others who might be struggling with similar issues?

    -The speaker advises others to read the Bible, seek accountability, pray about their temptations, and to remember that they are loved by God and not too broken to be saved.

  • How does the speaker describe the impact of the Bible on their life?

    -The speaker describes the Bible as life-changing, stating that it has transformed them into a completely new person and helped them overcome their addiction.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ™ Overcoming Addiction Through Faith

The speaker begins by expressing excitement and gratitude for sharing a personal journey of overcoming an addiction to porn and masturbation. Initially, the addiction started at a young age and grew over time, leading to feelings of shame and separation from God. Despite being a Christian, the speaker struggled with the dichotomy between religious beliefs and the secret indulgence in these acts. The turning point came when the speaker was encouraged to include this part of their life in a testimony, which was initially met with reluctance due to fear of judgment. However, the process of sharing the struggle and recognizing the societal stereotype that such issues are predominantly male-oriented led to a broader understanding and acceptance of the addiction as a universal challenge.

05:01

🌟 The Power of God's Light in Overcoming Shame

In this paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the realization that Satan uses sins to trap individuals in shame and the feeling of being unworthy of God's love. The speaker recounts their experience of sharing their testimony with a fellowship group, which initially felt liberating but was followed by a relapse into the same addictive behaviors. The relapse led to feelings of defeat and hypocrisy. Reflecting on the reasons behind this setback, the speaker identifies the lack of seeking accountability and reliance on personal strength rather than God's as key factors. The paragraph concludes with a renewed understanding that overcoming such sins is not about personal strength but about God's grace and the importance of seeking His guidance and support.

10:02

πŸ“– The Transformative Impact of the Bible

The final paragraph discusses the transformative effect that reading the Bible and engaging with Christian content had on the speaker's life. After a period of relapse, the speaker found themselves with time to explore and question their faith more deeply. This led to a newfound curiosity about God and Christianity, prompting the speaker to actively seek out religious knowledge and debate. The process of learning more about God's nature and intentions inspired a desire to be closer to Him and to live up to His expectations. This spiritual awakening resulted in the speaker overcoming their addiction, not through their own strength, but through God's grace. The speaker emphasizes the importance of consistent prayer and Bible reading to maintain this transformation and avoid falling back into old habits, ending with an encouragement for viewers to explore the Bible and experience a personal connection with God.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Pornography

Pornography refers to the depiction of sexually explicit material intended to arouse the viewer. In the video, the speaker discusses their struggle with a pornography addiction, which began at a young age and had a profound impact on their life. The term is central to understanding the theme of overcoming addiction and seeking spiritual help.

πŸ’‘Masturbation

Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual pleasure. The speaker mentions masturbation as a behavior that became intertwined with their addiction to pornography, leading to feelings of shame and separation from their religious beliefs. It is a key aspect of the personal struggle shared in the video.

πŸ’‘Addiction

Addiction is a condition in which a person engages in rewarding behaviors, such as substance use or certain activities, despite adverse consequences. The video's theme revolves around the speaker's addiction to pornography and masturbation, and their journey to overcome this addiction with the help of faith.

πŸ’‘Christianity

Christianity is a monotheistic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. The speaker identifies as a Christian and discusses how their faith played a crucial role in their recovery from addiction. Christianity is the spiritual framework within which the speaker's story unfolds.

πŸ’‘Shame

Shame is a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. The speaker expresses feeling shame due to their addiction, which they perceived as a barrier to their relationship with God and their Christian community.

πŸ’‘Testimony

A testimony is a solemn declaration or statement, particularly one made under oath. In the context of the video, the speaker's testimony refers to their personal story of addiction and spiritual growth, which they shared with their Christian group, indicating a turning point in their journey.

πŸ’‘Accountability

Accountability is the state of being responsible for one's actions or decisions. The speaker reflects on the importance of seeking accountability in overcoming their addiction, acknowledging that relying solely on their own strength was insufficient.

πŸ’‘Relapse

Relapse refers to a return to a previous condition or mode of behavior, often used in the context of addiction. The speaker describes a period of relapse into their addiction after initially overcoming it, highlighting the challenges and setbacks that can occur during recovery.

πŸ’‘Bible

The Bible is the sacred text of Christianity, consisting of the Old and New Testaments. The speaker's engagement with the Bible was transformative in their recovery process, providing insights and spiritual guidance that helped them resist their addiction.

πŸ’‘Grace

Grace, in a religious context, refers to the unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration, sanctification, and salvation. The speaker attributes their ability to overcome addiction to God's grace, emphasizing the role of divine intervention in their personal transformation.

πŸ’‘Transformation

Transformation refers to a profound change in form, appearance, or character. The speaker describes their experience with the Bible as life-changing, leading to a personal transformation where they became a 'completely new person,' free from their previous addiction.

Highlights

The video discusses the personal journey of overcoming a porn and masturbation addiction.

The speaker initially planned to share the story after a dental surgery but was able to record earlier due to a postponement.

The video is described as 'shocking' and 'out of character', indicating a departure from usual content.

The speaker's first encounter with porn occurred at a young age and was perceived as a secret.

A period of being alone led to the escalation from viewing images to watching videos and engaging in 'naughty games'.

The realization of the separation from God due to the addiction and the associated feelings of shame.

The lack of awareness and discussion about porn and masturbation among females, which hindered the speaker's ability to seek help.

A college small group leader's request to share a testimony led to the speaker initially omitting the addiction.

The spiritual encouragement to include the addiction in the testimony, reflecting divine intervention.

The realization that the devil uses shame to keep people trapped in sin, contrary to God's forgiving nature.

A relapse into the addiction after sharing the testimony, leading to feelings of defeat and hypocrisy.

The importance of seeking accountability and help, rather than relying solely on personal strength.

The role of boredom in leading the speaker to explore Christianity and God's teachings more deeply.

The transformative effect of reading the Bible and engaging with Christian content on overcoming the addiction.

The shift from a self-centered approach to one focused on God, leading to the cessation of the addiction.

The ongoing need for prayer and Bible reading to maintain the overcoming of the addiction and resist temptations.

The message that no one is unlovable or too broken to be loved by God, countering the lies of shame.

An invitation to the audience to read the Bible and experience a personal transformation.

Transcripts

play00:00

hi guys welcome back to my channel I am

play00:02

so happy you're here that you clicked on

play00:04

this video as you can probably tell from

play00:06

the title it is going to be very

play00:08

shocking out of character type of video

play00:11

today but I am very very excited and

play00:14

thankful to be able to share this story

play00:16

of how God has helped me overcome my

play00:20

porn and masturbation addiction so set

play00:23

it out there I'm actually so thankful to

play00:25

be able to share this because originally

play00:27

I was gonna get my wisdom teeth out and

play00:29

then I wouldn't be able to speak for a

play00:30

few days and then I was gonna you know

play00:32

fly to Germany and all of this and so I

play00:35

was really sad one of my surgery you

play00:37

know was gonna happen but then it

play00:39

actually got postponed because there was

play00:41

like short staff so this is actually a

play00:43

blessing that I can be able to talk and

play00:45

share this video with you before

play00:48

um at least some of you may have

play00:49

differing opinions on this subject so

play00:51

please feel free to share your thoughts

play00:54

in the comments below

play00:55

um but this is just what my journey has

play00:58

been essentially I came across porn for

play01:01

the first time when I was pretty young I

play01:03

never seen this type of content before

play01:05

and it was hidden so I knew it was

play01:07

something secret a few years go by and I

play01:10

was at a time when basically nobody was

play01:13

home with me I was by myself

play01:16

um my parents were out you know that

play01:17

kind of deal and so I just had a lot of

play01:20

opportunities to go online right four

play01:23

things on my own because I was so

play01:25

curious of what I'd seen like years

play01:27

prior I began to look up like images of

play01:30

you know porn and then I basically

play01:33

opened a gate right I opened the box and

play01:37

soon after

play01:39

the images became videos and you know I

play01:41

would just go through all this content I

play01:43

even like played I don't know if you

play01:44

know like naughty games you know like

play01:46

that was a thing and so I was like wow I

play01:48

was young you know I was very young but

play01:50

I was like

play01:51

engrossed in this eventually all that

play01:54

porn watching kind of led me to find out

play01:57

what masturbation was and so that was

play02:00

another box on its own right and so like

play02:02

now suddenly it wasn't just porn

play02:04

watching it was porn plus masturbation

play02:06

so it was like two acts together but

play02:09

since I was little I'd always considered

play02:11

myself a Christian

play02:12

but I think this was something that

play02:18

I willingly did to separate myself from

play02:20

God and I didn't like characterize it as

play02:22

that when I was younger and doing it but

play02:25

I realized now how much that separated

play02:28

me from being wanting to be closer to

play02:31

God because I always felt like this was

play02:33

a source of Shame for me

play02:35

um I I went to church every Sunday and

play02:38

I maybe sometimes I would hear sermons

play02:42

about porn but very little very little

play02:44

to begin with and if they were about

play02:46

porn it was more directed towards the

play02:48

boy so I'm not blaming I don't want to

play02:50

blame anybody or any organization or any

play02:52

church for this but I think it's just

play02:53

like

play02:54

I think that's just like a

play02:57

a stereotype that a lot of people right

play03:00

like assume about porn and masturbation

play03:02

is that it's a it's a primarily

play03:04

uh guy thing and maybe the statistics

play03:06

are true on that but I'm but I think

play03:08

that you know lack of awareness or or

play03:11

lack of exposure of porn and

play03:14

masturbation as it pertains to girls

play03:16

really

play03:18

prevented me from wanting to speak out

play03:20

or wanting to reach out or wanting to

play03:22

seek help fast forward to sophomore year

play03:24

of college I was asked by my small group

play03:28

leader to share my testimony and at

play03:32

first I was you know writing down my

play03:34

script like okay I'm gonna talk about

play03:35

you know my family issues blah blah blah

play03:38

like oh yeah how I grew as a Christian

play03:41

blah blah but I was missing

play03:44

a huge part of my life and that was my

play03:48

porn and masturbation addiction like I I

play03:51

purposefully right like left that out

play03:53

because I didn't want to share that part

play03:55

of myself and I'm not and I want to like

play03:57

say that you don't have to be feel

play04:00

pressured to share anything you don't

play04:01

want to share but I think at that time

play04:03

it was more of myself it was myself not

play04:07

wanting to be perceived as

play04:11

um unlikable or gross or fake Christian

play04:15

like things like that I didn't want to

play04:16

be perceived negatively by other people

play04:18

and so I like left that part out but

play04:21

it was definitely a spirit because again

play04:23

I could never do this on my own

play04:25

um who encouraged me like really pulled

play04:28

on my heartstrings like really did

play04:31

to include that part into my testimony

play04:34

and so

play04:36

like God help me and I I was able to

play04:40

share my testimony my full honest

play04:42

testimony including the you know the the

play04:46

porn masturbation things with my small

play04:48

group I think I'd always heard you know

play04:50

like God uses the bad for good or like

play04:53

God is the light and like I I never

play04:55

really understood until after I shared

play04:58

this that was a time I realized that the

play05:01

devil Satan uses these things against

play05:05

uses them to shame us or to feel like we

play05:08

can't bring it up to the light

play05:10

um it could be different right for you

play05:11

might not be porn of masturbation might

play05:13

be other things right but I think like

play05:14

he

play05:16

I realize he purposely uses these things

play05:18

to make us feel like we're trapped in it

play05:20

and that we can't be saved anymore or

play05:22

that you know we're we are damaged goods

play05:25

or that we could never really be loved

play05:28

by God because we have this sin or sins

play05:31

that we're dealing with and that they

play05:33

become addictions God can do anything

play05:36

and and it just like amazes me how God

play05:39

was able to

play05:41

transform

play05:43

like me as someone who was a huge people

play05:46

pleaser like I still struggle with that

play05:48

sometimes right like huge people pleaser

play05:50

would never want to be perceived in any

play05:54

sort of negative way and suddenly

play05:56

encouraging me and reminding me that

play05:59

like I am loved by him and that he does

play06:02

forgive and that he he is light and and

play06:04

that he can bring these sins

play06:08

out of the darkness

play06:09

put them to light

play06:11

and overcome the devil later on I think

play06:14

it was like junior year or something I

play06:15

forgot I was able to share the same

play06:18

testimony with my entire fellowship and

play06:21

I think it just felt so freeing to know

play06:23

that like the devil really has no hold

play06:25

on us with God on our side but the sword

play06:28

does not end here so after I shared my

play06:30

testimony with my fellowship I felt like

play06:32

wow like this is done like I've overcome

play06:35

the battle and I didn't watch porn or

play06:39

masturbate for like a few months but

play06:42

but but I did Relapse in a way right if

play06:45

that's the word that you can say for

play06:47

this yeah I guess so I did Relapse and I

play06:51

felt like so defeated especially I felt

play06:54

so hypocritical that I had shared this

play06:56

stuff with my fellowship but then fell

play06:59

back into the same sin once I fell back

play07:01

with the same sin it was so easy for me

play07:03

just to think okay well I already

play07:05

screwed up right like I already screwed

play07:06

up and why not just keep like I kind of

play07:09

just like I can't believe I screwed up

play07:11

even after that big like spiritual High

play07:14

it felt like for me I just kept watching

play07:16

for it and masturbating for like another

play07:18

few months just because like I felt so

play07:21

defeated now looking back I realized

play07:23

there were two main things that caused

play07:26

this to happen the first one was not

play07:29

seeking accountability or help for this

play07:33

I essentially just shared my story and

play07:36

like that was it you know just like

play07:39

you know what I mean like I it's like

play07:42

for any type of issue for any type of

play07:44

sin or any type of like

play07:46

thing that you're struggling with you

play07:47

it's so important and I realize this now

play07:50

and I should have done this before like

play07:51

they seek accountability have an

play07:53

accountability partner so essentially I

play07:54

was relying on my own strength and I

play07:56

wasn't even going back to the Bible and

play08:00

so I was really On My Own Strength not

play08:02

even God's strength and so how can you

play08:04

how could I how could I ever expected

play08:08

for me to overcome this just on my own

play08:10

like

play08:10

no no now I know like no way no way I

play08:14

wasn't even relying on the Bible I

play08:15

wasn't relying on God I wasn't praying

play08:17

to him about this I was just like I just

play08:19

felt like I did this right like I

play08:20

overcame this and the second thing I did

play08:22

wrong was putting myself in the center

play08:24

of it instead of God honestly speaking

play08:26

the reason why I stopped watching porn

play08:30

and masturbating at this time was

play08:32

because it made me feel bad it made me

play08:34

feel shameful

play08:35

um I didn't quite understand at that

play08:37

time like how much it hurts God and how

play08:40

God how God is the one that we should

play08:42

strive to be more like it was a me thing

play08:44

it was a me thing and not a God thing

play08:45

fast forward to a couple months into

play08:47

this past summer so summer of 2022

play08:50

I was alone in my like apartment right

play08:53

and so I I was working I was doing an

play08:56

internship but I had a lot of free time

play08:57

I don't know maybe it was a boredom so

play08:59

thank goodness I was bored right that

play09:01

finally led me to become curious about

play09:04

God and Christianity I did rely on God

play09:07

and that I do believe or did believe

play09:09

that Jesus died on the cross for our

play09:11

sins but I never actually read the Bible

play09:14

so this past summer was the first time I

play09:17

just like opened the Bible I think it

play09:18

was like to a random chapter

play09:21

um or book in the New Testament and I

play09:24

just started to read the Bible just like

play09:26

curiosity and my goodness gracious how

play09:28

that changed me and then I began to

play09:31

actively look up like Christian content

play09:34

on YouTube

play09:36

um questions about the Bible you know

play09:38

questions about God I was I was

play09:40

questioning things and not because I

play09:42

didn't believe but because I wanted to

play09:44

further my belief even more there were

play09:46

so many questions I had but I didn't

play09:48

like take time to to investigate further

play09:51

just because I was lazy and I didn't

play09:55

want to learn and I just kind of like

play09:57

blindly went with it and so with

play10:00

anything right you want to do your

play10:01

research and you want to learn more and

play10:04

more and more and so like by reading the

play10:06

Bible and like looking online and and

play10:09

watching you know YouTube videos of

play10:11

people debating religious topics

play10:13

religious questions I became more and

play10:15

more engrossed and like I don't know I

play10:17

just felt refreshed and I felt excited

play10:20

to learn more and so by reading the

play10:22

Bible I got

play10:24

more and more insight of like who God

play10:26

really is and why he does the things he

play10:28

does I became more more and more and

play10:32

more engrossed in him and I think

play10:34

because of that there was just one day

play10:37

when I was just like over it like I

play10:39

don't know how to describe it other than

play10:40

I was like over over this sin that I was

play10:43

dealing with still like I was I was sad

play10:46

I was sad that I was doing it because

play10:49

as I was learning more about God I

play10:51

realized he has better plans for us

play10:53

we as his children as humans we have so

play10:57

much more potential than to be sucked

play10:59

into the sin to be stuck into this

play11:00

addiction and let the devil hold this

play11:02

against us so instead of putting myself

play11:04

in the middle of it it became God as I

play11:06

was reading the Bible learning more

play11:07

about him I wanted to be closer to him I

play11:09

wanted to be more like him to be more

play11:11

like him I realized like yeah I can't

play11:13

overcome this and I want to it was a

play11:16

desire to overcome it after that

play11:17

realization that one night I was like

play11:19

wow I'm I'm actually over it and so I

play11:23

just stopped it was God's grace of

play11:24

course because I would never have been

play11:25

able to have the strength to do that

play11:27

thank you God so much for reminding me

play11:29

you know that it's not about me it's not

play11:32

about me it's about him and so I think

play11:35

that really like you know like try to

play11:37

switch in my brain and and I haven't you

play11:41

know had a desire to watch porn or

play11:43

masturbate since because I know how much

play11:44

it hurts God more of the story

play11:47

the Bible

play11:48

the Bible has like literally transformed

play11:52

me into a completely new person so I

play11:54

encourage you just if you have a Bible

play11:57

nearby or online or on an app just

play12:00

please just like start reading just for

play12:03

fun like I I cannot tell you how much

play12:05

your life will transform because of

play12:07

reading the Bible long story short it is

play12:08

life-changing and it helped me overcome

play12:11

my porn and masturbation addiction of

play12:14

course this overcoming is not because of

play12:16

me but it's because of God so I'm I need

play12:19

to make sure that I am consistently

play12:20

praying about my Temptations I'm

play12:23

consistently praying that he continues

play12:25

to support me and encourage me to read

play12:27

the Bible and so I don't fall back into

play12:29

that same sin but

play12:31

God is great God is powerful and like he

play12:35

has changed me in so many ways and I

play12:37

know he can change you too so don't feel

play12:39

that you are to this or that or you know

play12:43

unlovable or too broken or too gross to

play12:46

be loved by God that is false that that

play12:49

that that is a lie

play12:51

you are loved and you are already loved

play12:54

you're already loved by God and you can

play12:56

always

play12:58

oh I don't know how to explain it in

play13:00

words oh my goodness but you will

play13:02

already love you are his child and

play13:04

you can learn more about him and you can

play13:06

accept him as your savior and it's just

play13:10

like dang like okay I'm this video is

play13:12

going on for too long but yeah thank you

play13:14

guys so much for listening to this video

play13:15

please feel free to share your thoughts

play13:17

share oh man I'm just so happy you're

play13:20

here and you're listening and I hope

play13:22

you're doing well and you have a great

play13:23

day and that you can try reading a Bible

play13:26

and Experiencing God for yourself too

play13:28

okay all right bye see you in my next

play13:31

video

play13:32

[Music]

Rate This
β˜…
β˜…
β˜…
β˜…
β˜…

5.0 / 5 (0 votes)

Related Tags
Porn AddictionMasturbationChristianityOvercomingSpiritual GrowthPersonal TestimonySelf-HelpRelapseAccountabilityBible Study