Escaping Porn Addiction | Eli Nash | TEDxFortWayne

Summary

Ellie Nash's TEDx talk candidly addresses the stigma surrounding porn addiction. He shares his personal journey from childhood trauma to adult struggles, highlighting the shame associated with this addiction. Nash emphasizes the power of storytelling in combating shame and the healing that comes from sharing one's hardships. His narrative illustrates the transformative potential of open dialogue and community support in overcoming addiction and the psychological burdens it carries.

Takeaways

• 😔 The speaker, Ellie Nash, openly shares his struggle with porn addiction, aiming to destigmatize the issue and promote healing through open discussion.
• 😳 He reveals his 'number-one goal' to his employees, which was to never watch porn again, demonstrating the personal nature of his commitment to change.
• 🤔 Ellie discusses the societal shame associated with porn addiction, highlighting its invisibility compared to other addictions like alcohol or gambling.
• 😢 He reflects on the impact of shame on psychological health, suggesting it is a significant barrier to addressing and overcoming addiction.
• 👶 Ellie's story begins with a childhood marred by fear and sexual abuse, which he suggests may have contributed to his later struggles with porn.
• 🏠 He associates feelings of safety with his grandmother's home, indicating the importance of a safe and nurturing environment in early life.
• 🔍 Ellie describes his initial encounter with porn through mail-order catalogues, which provided a temporary sense of peace but also led to feelings of guilt and shame.
• 🏥 A health scare involving a corneal ulcer leads Ellie to make a commitment to stop watching porn, showing that sometimes a personal crisis can be a catalyst for change.
• 🤝 He emphasizes the power of sharing personal stories in changing societal perceptions and reducing stigma, citing examples like Ryan White and child sexual abuse survivors.
• 👫 Ellie's journey towards recovery involves connecting with others who have similar struggles, illustrating the importance of community and support in overcoming addiction.
• 🎤 The speaker's decision to share his story publicly, including on a TEDx stage, underscores the transformative power of openness and vulnerability in personal growth and advocacy.

Q & A

What was Ellie's number-one goal when asked by his employees about his 10-year goal?

Ellie's number-one goal was to never watch porn again.

How did Ellie's colleagues react to his admission about his goal of not watching porn?

Ellie's colleagues were shocked, with one mumbling in disbelief and the other's expression shifting from shock to judgement and disgust.

Why does Ellie believe that shame is a significant factor in addiction?

Ellie believes that shame and addiction are inseparable, and according to some psychologists, shame is the single biggest cause of most psychological problems.

How does Ellie describe the societal response to different addictions, particularly sex and porn addiction?

Ellie notes that while people openly discuss other addictions like alcohol or gambling, there is a significant stigma and shame associated with sex and porn addiction, making it less likely for individuals to publicly acknowledge their struggle with it.

What role do personal stories play in changing societal perceptions and stigmas, according to Ellie?

Ellie believes that personal stories humanize those with the issue, allowing for a change in societal conversations and stigmas, as exemplified by the story of Ryan White and the subsequent change in perceptions about HIV.

What was the pivotal moment in Ellie's life that led to his commitment to stop watching porn?

The pivotal moment was when Ellie developed a corneal ulcer and believed that his excessive porn watching was the cause. He made a deal with a higher power to stop watching porn if his eye healed.

How did Ellie's relationship with his wife-to-be initially affect his struggle with porn addiction?

In the beginning of their relationship, Ellie felt a sense of safety and peace similar to what he felt at his grandmother's home, which led to him not watching or even thinking about porn for a couple of months.

What was the turning point that led Ellie to finally seek help for his porn addiction?

The turning point was a disagreement with his girlfriend, which led to Ellie feeling uncomfortable and reverting to watching porn. The shame he felt this time was greater due to the risk of jeopardizing his relationship, prompting him to confess to his therapist.

How did Ellie's involvement with a support group help him in his journey to overcome porn addiction?

The support group allowed Ellie to share his story and connect with others who were struggling with the same addiction. This connection helped shift the shame and provided insights into the reasons behind his use of porn.

What was the significance of Ellie sharing his story on a larger platform, such as TEDx?

Sharing his story on a larger platform was significant because it not only helped Ellie personally by turning his shame into a tool for healing but also had the potential to help others by spreading awareness and understanding about porn addiction.

What message does Ellie hope to convey to the audience with his story?

Ellie hopes to convey that sharing one's hardships can move individuals through shame and into healing, and that everyone has a powerful story to share that can help others overcome their struggles.