Heroin Addiction, Recovery and No Shame | Crystal Oertle | TEDxColumbus

TEDx Talks
7 Dec 201508:19

Summary

TLDRThe speaker shares their journey from opioid addiction to recovery, detailing the progression from painkillers to heroin and the daily struggle to obtain drugs. They recount the emotional toll on their family and the turning point when their mother's plea for change led them to seek help. The story emphasizes the importance of support and overcoming societal stigma to seek treatment.

Takeaways

  • 💊 The speaker's addiction began at 20 with a single Vicadin pill, highlighting how easily addiction can start.
  • 🔄 As tolerance grew, so did the need for stronger pain medications like Oxycontin and Dilaudid, illustrating the progression of addiction.
  • 🚫 The speaker was reluctant to try heroin due to societal stigma but did so out of desperation, showing the lengths addiction can drive someone.
  • 🚗 The daily commute to Columbus for heroin reflects the extreme measures taken to feed an addiction.
  • 📞 The detailed process of securing drugs involved phone calls and specific instructions, indicating the organized nature of the drug trade.
  • 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 The speaker's children were often involved in these trips, demonstrating the collateral damage of addiction on family.
  • 🚔 An incident where the speaker was pulled over with her child in the car didn't deter her addiction, showing the power of addiction over rational thinking.
  • 🏥 The speaker's son was bitten by a dog and taken to the hospital while she was away scoring heroin, a poignant example of the neglect caused by addiction.
  • 😡 The son's anger and attempt to intervene by showing the grandmother the drug paraphernalia didn't stop the speaker, underscoring the difficulty of breaking addiction.
  • 👵 A serious conversation with the mother was the turning point, emphasizing the role of family in recovery.
  • 🙌 The speaker's recovery was supported by her family without judgment, stressing the importance of a supportive environment for addicts.
  • 🗣️ Sharing her story publicly aims to reduce the stigma around heroin addiction and encourage others to seek help, showing the power of personal testimony.

Q & A

  • What was the initial trigger for the speaker's addiction?

    -The speaker's addiction began when they were offered a Vicadin at the age of 20 and they liked the effect it had on them.

  • What was the progression of the speaker's addiction?

    -The speaker's addiction progressed from taking Vicadin to seeking stronger pain medications like Oxycoton and Diloted, and eventually to using heroin when they could not find pills.

  • Why did the speaker initially resist using heroin?

    -The speaker was reluctant to use heroin initially because they had a preconceived judgment about what a heroin addict looks and acts like, and they did not identify with that image.

  • How did the speaker's daily routine revolve around heroin?

    -The speaker's daily routine involved traveling to Columbus every day to get heroin, either using it there or waiting until they got back home, and then selling and using the drug as needed.

  • What was the speaker's method of obtaining heroin?

    -The speaker would call ahead to arrange a meeting with their dealer in Columbus, specifying how much money they had, and upon arrival, they would be directed to a specific exit and location to meet.

  • How did the speaker's family get involved in their addiction?

    -The speaker would sometimes bring their young daughter with them to the city to get heroin, believing it was safer than leaving her with a stranger.

  • What incidents occurred that should have prompted the speaker to quit but didn't?

    -The speaker's son was bitten by a dog and taken to the hospital while the speaker was away getting heroin, and another time the son confronted the speaker about their addiction, but these incidents did not make the speaker quit.

  • What was the turning point for the speaker to decide to stop using heroin?

    -The turning point was when the speaker's mother looked at them seriously and told them they had to stop, making the speaker realize the impact of their addiction on their family.

  • How has the speaker's family supported them through their recovery?

    -The speaker's family has been supportive throughout their recovery, never turning their backs on them despite the challenges the speaker caused due to their addiction.

  • What is the speaker's message about the stigma surrounding heroin addiction?

    -The speaker wants to convey that people struggling with heroin addiction should not be ashamed to seek help, as there is support available and the societal stigma can prevent people from getting the help they need.

  • What does the speaker hope to achieve by sharing their story?

    -The speaker hopes that by sharing their story, they can help at least one person realize that they don't have to be ashamed of their addiction and seek the help they need.

Outlines

00:00

💉 Struggling with Opioid Addiction

The speaker shares their journey with addiction, starting with an introduction to painkillers like vicadin at the age of 20. They describe the progression from using prescription drugs to seeking out stronger substances like oxycodone and eventually heroin. The narrative details the daily struggle to obtain drugs, traveling to Columbus every day to secure heroin, and the impact on their family life. Despite facing dangerous situations and legal troubles, such as being pulled over with their daughter in the car, they continue down this path. The speaker highlights the physical and emotional pain of withdrawal and the desperate measures taken to avoid it.

05:02

🌟 Overcoming Addiction with Family Support

The speaker recounts the pivotal moment when their mother's serious plea for them to stop using drugs finally resonated. They reflect on the realization that their addiction was causing immense suffering not only to themselves but also to their family. The narrative emphasizes the importance of family support in their recovery process, as they felt loved and not judged by their family members. The speaker expresses gratitude for this support and shares their current state of recovery, free from shame about their past. They urge others to seek help without fear of stigma, as there is always someone willing to support them in their journey to recovery.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Addiction

Addiction is a chronic brain disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli, despite adverse consequences. In the video, the speaker's addiction began with prescription painkillers like Vicodin and escalated to heroin. The narrative illustrates the progression from initial use to physical dependence and the daily struggle to obtain the substance, highlighting the theme of addiction's grip on one's life.

💡Recovery

Recovery refers to the process of healing or regaining a normal or better state after a period of illness or addiction. The speaker discusses their journey through recovery, which is central to the video's message of hope and the possibility of overcoming addiction. Recovery is depicted as a fortunate outcome, not guaranteed for all, and it underscores the importance of support and personal resolve.

💡Vicodin

Vicodin is a prescription opioid pain medication, combining hydrocodone and acetaminophen. It is mentioned as the initial gateway drug that led to the speaker's addiction. The mention of Vicodin in the script illustrates the common pathway from prescription drug misuse to illicit substance abuse, which is a significant theme in discussions about the opioid crisis.

💡Oxycontin

Oxycontin, or oxycodone, is another opioid pain medication that the speaker mentions as part of their addiction progression. As tolerance grew, so did the need for stronger substances like Oxycontin, which is a common narrative among individuals with opioid use disorder. It exemplifies the escalating nature of addiction and the search for more potent drugs to achieve the same effect.

💡Heroin

Heroin is an illegal opioid drug that the speaker turned to when they could no longer find prescription painkillers. The shift to heroin is a critical point in the narrative, representing a deepening of the addiction and the associated risks and lifestyle changes. It is a symbol of the desperation and lengths individuals may go to satisfy their addiction.

💡Tolerance

Tolerance refers to the body's decreasing response to a drug over time, requiring higher doses to achieve the same effect. The speaker's increasing tolerance for pain medications like Vicodin and Oxycontin is a key aspect of their addiction story, illustrating the physiological changes that drive the cycle of addiction.

💡Withdrawal

Withdrawal symptoms are the physical and mental effects experienced when reducing or stopping drug use after dependence has developed. The speaker describes the 'awful' withdrawal symptoms as a driving force to continue using, even when they wanted to stop, highlighting the physical bondage of addiction.

💡Stigma

Stigma refers to the negative stereotypes and social disapproval associated with certain conditions or behaviors, such as heroin addiction. The speaker discusses the societal stigma around heroin users, which can prevent individuals from seeking help. The video's message challenges this stigma, advocating for understanding and support rather than judgment.

💡Support

Support in the context of addiction refers to the assistance and encouragement from family, friends, or professionals that can aid in recovery. The speaker emphasizes the importance of their family's unwavering support as a key factor in their recovery journey, illustrating the role of a supportive network in overcoming addiction.

💡Family

Family plays a central role in the speaker's story, both as a source of potential harm due to their addiction and as a pillar of support during recovery. The narrative shows the impact of addiction on family dynamics and the importance of familial bonds in the recovery process.

💡Sobriety

Sobriety is the state of not being under the influence of addictive substances, often used to describe the period following addiction recovery. The speaker's achievement of sobriety is a triumphant endpoint in their story, symbolizing the successful overcoming of addiction and the beginning of a new, healthier life.

Highlights

Speaker begins their story of addiction and recovery.

Introduced to vicadin at the age of 20, leading to opiate addiction.

Daily struggle to find pills and the need for stronger medications like oxycoton and diloted.

Transition to heroin due to unavailability of pain pills and physical addiction.

The reluctance to use heroin due to societal judgment.

Description of the painful withdrawal symptoms.

Daily routine of traveling to Columbus for heroin.

The process of contacting dealers and arranging meetups for drug purchases.

The impact of addiction on family life, including bringing a child along on drug runs.

An incident where the speaker's son was bitten by a dog, highlighting the neglect caused by addiction.

The speaker's son's anger and attempt to make the speaker quit.

The pivotal moment when the speaker's mother urged them to stop using drugs.

The realization of the disruption caused by addiction to the speaker's family.

The decision to stop using drugs and the beginning of recovery.

Family support during recovery and the importance of not being ashamed.

The societal stigma around heroin addiction and its impact on seeking help.

The speaker's message of hope and the importance of support in recovery.

The speaker concludes by emphasizing the value of sharing their story to help others.

Transcripts

play00:03

[Applause]

play00:05

[Music]

play00:08

[Applause]

play00:17

hi so my story is probably pretty

play00:21

similar to any of the stories that you

play00:24

could read in the newspapers lately the

play00:27

only difference is that I have been

play00:30

fortunate enough to go through the

play00:32

addiction and come out into

play00:37

recovery thank

play00:42

you thank you um when I was about 20

play00:46

years old somebody offered me a vicadin

play00:49

and I did it and I liked it and that

play00:53

started my opiate um Obsession and

play00:57

addiction right there over the next next

play01:00

couple of years um it was every day

play01:03

trying to find a pill anywhere that I

play01:06

could and as my tolerance grew um so

play01:10

then did my need for the stronger kinds

play01:12

of pain medications like oxycoton and

play01:16

diloted um until and that went on for a

play01:20

while until one day there there was none

play01:23

I couldn't find a pill anywhere and

play01:26

someone told me they could get me heroin

play01:29

and I was reluctant at first of course

play01:33

because at that time when I thought

play01:36

about a heroin addict I had a certain um

play01:39

judgment in my head about what a heroin

play01:42

addict looks like what they act like and

play01:45

that wasn't me so I didn't really want

play01:49

to do it but I knew um I was physically

play01:53

addicted to the pain pills so I was

play01:56

going to be getting sick if I didn't get

play01:58

something and the withdraw symptoms are

play02:03

really they're really awful um I've gone

play02:06

through it a lot of times throughout my

play02:09

over a decade of addiction and there

play02:12

were days where I just would rather have

play02:14

died than feel the pain that that is and

play02:19

that

play02:20

sickness um so I did the heroin that

play02:25

time

play02:26

and the next time it was offered to me

play02:29

it was a a little bit easier until then

play02:33

that was my drug of choice my obsession

play02:35

every day was getting heroin um so early

play02:41

on I live a little over an hour from

play02:44

Columbus um and when I first got

play02:47

addicted to the heroin I would travel to

play02:49

Columbus every day because it wasn't

play02:53

everywhere like it is now um now it's in

play02:57

my small

play02:58

town but but back then it wasn't and so

play03:01

I would come to Columbus every day get

play03:04

up in the morning um either get my kids

play03:08

ready for school um my daughter wasn't

play03:11

old enough to go to school so I would

play03:13

take her with me or if it was summertime

play03:16

my son would go to the skate park um and

play03:19

we would come to Columbus me and um the

play03:21

significant other that I was with at

play03:23

that time and it was an everyday um an

play03:28

everyday thing and

play03:30

we would we'd have to call ahead of time

play03:33

and let the person that we were meeting

play03:34

here in Columbus know um how much money

play03:37

we had and we'd be there in about an

play03:40

hour and when we got close then we give

play03:43

them a call and they would tell us which

play03:46

exit to um get off of and where to meet

play03:50

them in the neighborhood here in

play03:52

Columbus

play03:53

and we would either um use here or wait

play03:57

until we got back home and get high

play04:00

there um sell what we needed to sell

play04:05

keep what we needed to keep and do it

play04:08

all again the next day or sometimes

play04:11

later that same

play04:13

day um and it was it was

play04:17

craziness really looking back on it now

play04:20

it's like wow the things that I did um

play04:25

to get that

play04:26

drug my daughter like I said was about

play04:29

to at the time when I was doing that and

play04:32

I brought her with in my mind it was

play04:36

safer for her to be with me than to

play04:38

leave her with some random person that

play04:41

was waiting for us to get back with the

play04:44

drugs um we did get pulled over with her

play04:47

in the car with us one time um that

play04:51

wasn't enough to make me quit that

play04:52

didn't scare me enough to make me quit

play04:56

um my son was about 13 I think and he

play04:59

would go to the skate park when I made

play05:02

these trips and I was about 45 minutes

play05:05

away my mom calls and says he's at the

play05:09

hospital he'd been bitten by a dog a

play05:12

complete stranger drove my son to the

play05:14

hospital because I was an hour away in

play05:17

another town scoring heroin that wasn't

play05:20

enough to make me

play05:22

quit

play05:24

um my son got so angry with me one time

play05:30

that he went in to my

play05:32

bedroom and found the purse that I cut

play05:35

my needles and my spoon in and brought

play05:39

it out and gave it to my mom just you

play05:43

know like make her stop that wasn't

play05:46

enough to make me quit just went on for

play05:49

a really long time and just

play05:53

recently um my mom wasn't able to be

play05:56

here with me

play05:58

today but about 7 months ago she just

play06:03

looked at me and the the way she looked

play06:05

at me she wasn't mad um she wasn't

play06:09

really even sad she just said you've got

play06:13

to

play06:14

stop and she was just so serious about

play06:18

it and I could tell by the look on her

play06:21

face that I knew I was disrupting my

play06:24

life I could feel it I could feel the

play06:26

pain that I felt every day living an

play06:29

addiction

play06:30

um but I really that day realized I was

play06:34

disrupting probably every single person

play06:37

I came in contact with but really the

play06:40

rest of my family I was putting them

play06:42

through

play06:43

hell and so I decided to stop um and

play06:48

that's how I'm able to be standing here

play06:51

today so strong in my recovery um my

play06:54

family has been so supportive through

play06:57

this they they never turned their backs

play07:00

on me I'm sure there were times where

play07:02

they were pretty mad at me for some of

play07:05

the stuff that I've done but they never

play07:07

shut me

play07:09

out um and I'm so lucky I feel so lucky

play07:13

and so grateful to have that to have

play07:16

that support um I can stand here today

play07:20

and not feel shame I'm not ashamed that

play07:24

I was a heroin

play07:26

addict um and my family was never

play07:29

ashamed to me and I really think that

play07:32

prevents a lot of people from getting

play07:34

the help that they need because of the

play07:38

stigma that our society has on heroin

play07:42

addicts and so that's really what my

play07:47

point of coming here and talking today

play07:50

and sharing my story with everybody if

play07:53

it helps one person realize that they

play07:56

don't have to be ashamed go and get that

play07:59

help there's someone there that's going

play08:01

to have your back um if that's the one

play08:04

thing that happens today then all this

play08:08

nervousness was worth it so thank

play08:12

[Applause]

play08:18

you

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الوسوم ذات الصلة
AddictionRecoveryHeroinVicadinOxycotonFamily SupportSobrietyStigmaSelf-HelpColumbus
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