10 Things I Wish I Knew About Men In My 20s

Summary

In this insightful video, the speaker shares wisdom about relationships, advising women to value themselves, not to overdo for men, and to understand that men value time and effort invested in oneself. She emphasizes the importance of being interesting and secure, rather than 'hard to get', and stresses the need for mutual commitment and respect in a relationship.

Takeaways

• 💔 Doing more for a man does not necessarily make him value you more. Sometimes, men may interpret additional efforts as a sign of their own worth rather than your value.
• 💰 Valuing yourself and investing time and effort into your own growth can make a man value you more. Men often equate value with the resources and attention you devote to yourself.
• 🌶️ Men are not necessarily attracted to a 'spicy' or overly challenging woman every day. They appreciate an interesting woman who can also make them feel good about themselves.
• 💬 Being 'hard to get but easy to be with' is a desirable trait. It means having a busy life but being enjoyable and relaxed when you are together.
• 😎 Confidence is attractive. Recognize your own value and don't undervalue yourself in relationships.
• 🚫 If a man is not your type or not ready for a relationship, it's important to accept this and move on, as trying to change his mind is usually futile.
• 👶 If a man is unsure about the relationship, you should be unsure too. It's crucial to align your expectations and not invest in a relationship where one party is hesitant.
• 👵 Young men may not be ready for serious commitments like marriage or fatherhood, so consider dating older men who are more likely to be ready for these roles.
• 🏃‍♂️ When a man asks for space, respecting his need for autonomy is essential. Trying to close the gap can push him away.
• 🤔 Sometimes the problem in a relationship might be your own expectations or attempts to change the other person. Accept them for who they are or move on.
• 👩‍❤️‍👨 It's important for women to take the initiative in showing interest in a man they like, rather than waiting for him to make the first move.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is about the wisdom the speaker wishes she knew in her 20s about men and relationships.

What misconception does the speaker address about doing more for men?

The speaker addresses the misconception that doing more for men will make them value you more. She explains that men might see it as them being more valuable, not you.

Why is it important to value yourself and put yourself first according to the speaker?

According to the speaker, valuing yourself and putting yourself first is important because men tend to value you more when they see you investing time and effort into yourself, similar to how they value their cars or other possessions.

What does the speaker mean by 'hard to get but easy to be with'?

The speaker means that you should not be difficult to approach or engage with, but you should have a busy life and not be overly available. When you are with him, be enjoyable and fun to be around.

Why does the speaker say that being an 'interesting woman' is more attractive than being a 'spicy Saucy woman'?

The speaker suggests that being an interesting woman with opinions and a secure attachment is more attractive because it makes a man feel like the man he wants to be, rather than being a challenge or a conquest.

What is the speaker's advice on how to handle a man who is unsure about a relationship?

The speaker advises that if a man is unsure about a relationship, you should also be unsure and consider dating other people. You should not invest all your hopes in a relationship with someone who is not fully committed.

Why does the speaker emphasize the importance of not trying to change a man?

The speaker emphasizes this because trying to change a man can be futile and lead to resentment. It's important to accept people for who they are and not attempt to mold them into what you want.

What does the speaker mean by 'pick the man, don't let the man pick you'?

The speaker means that women should take the initiative to show interest in the man they want, rather than waiting for a man to approach them. This does not mean chasing them, but giving subtle signs of interest.

Why does the speaker warn against focusing too much on physical attraction?

The speaker warns that physical attraction can fade quickly, and it's important to focus on shared values and how a man treats you. Looks alone are not enough to sustain a long-term relationship.

What is the speaker's stance on the idea that sleeping with a man will make him more attached?

The speaker argues that sleeping with a man will not necessarily make him more attached if he is not already interested. It's important to be genuinely ready for that step in the relationship.