How to Control Your Emotions: Become a Stoic | The Grant Mitt Podcast #86
Summary
TLDRIn this podcast episode, Grant Mitt discusses the importance of emotional control and thinking like a CEO to navigate life's challenges. He emphasizes that not controlling your emotions leads to being manipulated by others. Grant debunks the myth that emotions are beyond one's control and encourages taking responsibility for emotional well-being. He outlines three steps for better emotional control: personal accountability, curating positive environments and relationships, and using auto-suggestion to reprogram thought patterns. The episode aims to empower listeners to improve their lives by mastering their emotions.
Takeaways
- 🧠 Emotional Control: The podcast emphasizes the importance of controlling one's emotions to avoid being manipulated by others or external situations.
- 🚫 Rejecting False Beliefs: The speaker refutes the idea that emotions being out of control is a disorder or someone else's fault, asserting it's an individual's responsibility.
- 💡 Personal Accountability: The speaker stresses that individuals are responsible for their emotions and should not blame external factors for their emotional state.
- 🌟 Emotional Maturity: Understanding and assessing the reasons behind one's emotions is key to emotional maturity, rather than immediately blaming others for how one feels.
- 🔄 Change Perception: Viewing situations positively or negatively is a choice, and adopting a positive perspective can lead to better outcomes and personal growth.
- 📚 Self-Improvement: The speaker highlights the importance of daily efforts in mental health, such as reading, meditating, and exercising, to build mental toughness.
- 🤔 Curating Reality: It's essential to be aware of the environments and people that shape one's reality and to curate these to align with one's desired emotional state.
- 📈 Auto-Suggestion: The concept of auto-suggestion is introduced as a tool for reprogramming one's subconscious mind to achieve desired emotional states.
- 👥 Surround Yourself with Positivity: The influence of the people and environments around us is significant, and it's crucial to choose those that contribute to a positive and supportive atmosphere.
- 🛠️ Accountability for Change: The speaker's personal story illustrates how taking accountability for one's life and making changes can lead to significant improvements in success and happiness.
Q & A
What is the main topic of podcast episode 86 by Grant Mitt?
-The main topic of the podcast is emotional control, specifically how to manage emotions in various life situations like business, family, and relationships, and the importance of thinking like a CEO in handling these emotions.
Why is emotional control important according to the podcast?
-Emotional control is important because without it, individuals can be easily manipulated by others. It's crucial for maintaining autonomy and preventing emotional outbursts that can damage relationships and lead to destructive behaviors.
What does Grant Mitt refute in the podcast about the common belief regarding emotions?
-Grant Mitt refutes the common belief that if one's emotions are all over the place, they must have a disorder or issue that is not their fault. He argues that it is a lie and that individuals are responsible for their emotions.
What is the role of emotional maturity in handling emotions?
-Emotional maturity involves assessing the emotions one feels and understanding why they feel that way. It's about not immediately blaming external factors for one's emotions but taking responsibility for them.
How does Grant Mitt define the lowest level of emotional management?
-The lowest level of emotional management, according to Grant Mitt, is when one immediately blames outside sources and people for the emotions they feel, instead of taking personal responsibility.
What is the significance of viewing problems positively or negatively as discussed in the podcast?
-Viewing problems positively or negatively can significantly impact one's life. A positive perspective can lead to opportunities and personal growth, while a negative view can lead to feelings of victimization and stagnation.
What is the story Grant Mitt shares about the founder of Family Guy and its relevance to the podcast's theme?
-Grant Mitt shares a story about the founder of Family Guy missing a flight that ended up crashing into the Twin Towers on 9/11. This story illustrates the point that one never knows whether an event is good or bad, emphasizing the importance of emotional maturity and perspective.
What are the three steps Grant Mitt suggests to control emotions better?
-The three steps suggested are: 1) Taking personal responsibility for controlling emotions and working on mental health daily. 2) Curating the reality one wants by choosing the right thoughts, environments, and people. 3) Using auto-suggestion to control thoughts and emotions through affirmations and visualization.
How does Grant Mitt describe the process of auto-suggestion in controlling emotions?
-Auto-suggestion involves repeatedly stating affirmations in the present tense while feeling the associated emotions and visualizing situations where those emotions were felt. This process reprograms the brain and subconscious to process emotions differently.
What is the importance of accountability in the journey of emotional control as per the podcast?
-Accountability is crucial because it is the first step in changing one's life. It involves recognizing that one is responsible for their emotions and reactions, and that change begins with oneself.
How does Grant Mitt's personal transformation story relate to the advice he gives in the podcast?
-Grant Mitt's personal story of transformation from struggling with job applications and feeling disrespected to becoming successful in business illustrates the effectiveness of the advice he gives. His success is attributed to taking responsibility for his situation and making changes to improve his life.
Outlines
🧘♂️ Mastering Emotional Control
In podcast episode 86, the host emphasizes the importance of emotional control and thinking like a CEO to navigate life's challenges. He argues against the notion that emotions are beyond one's control or indicative of a disorder, asserting that individuals are responsible for their emotional responses. The host shares his belief that emotional maturity involves understanding and managing one's feelings rather than blaming external factors. He encourages accountability, stating that the most successful people he knows are those who take responsibility for their lives, including their emotions. The episode sets the stage for a discussion on how to handle emotions in various life situations, such as business, family, and relationships.
🤔 The Power of Perspective in Emotional Response
This paragraph delves into the concept of emotional perspective, illustrating how the way we perceive events can significantly impact our emotional reactions. The host uses the example of losing a job and how one can either view it negatively, leading to stress and worry, or positively, as an opportunity for change and growth. He shares a personal anecdote about traveling and how not being upset over missed flights has spared him from potential disasters, suggesting that we cannot always predict the outcomes of events. The host encourages listeners to assess what triggers their emotions and to take control of the narrative by being discerning about the people, environments, and information they allow into their lives.
🏋️♂️ Building Mental Toughness and Emotional Control
The host outlines three steps to improve emotional control and mental well-being. The first step is to take personal responsibility for one's emotions and mental health, emphasizing that it's not the responsibility of others. He shares his routine of dedicating time each day to self-improvement activities like affirmations, reading, meditation, and physical exercise. The second step involves curating the reality one desires by being mindful of the thoughts, environments, and people that contribute to one's current state. The host advises listeners to reflect on their surroundings and relationships to identify what may be causing negative emotions and to make changes accordingly.
🔄 The Impact of Auto-Suggestion on Emotional State
In this paragraph, the host discusses the concept of auto-suggestion, explaining how our thoughts and the influences around us shape our beliefs and emotions. He suggests that by consciously choosing the emotions we want to feel and repeatedly affirming those in the present tense, we can reprogram our subconscious minds. The host provides examples of positive affirmations and advises feeling the associated emotions while reciting them. He also touches on the power of mirror neurons and how being around certain people can change our behaviors and attitudes, reinforcing the importance of curating our environments and social circles.
🚀 Transforming Life Through Accountability and Self-Investment
The host concludes the podcast by sharing his personal transformation story, attributing his success to taking accountability for his life and investing in self-improvement. He reflects on his early struggles and how a shift in mindset and action led to significant changes within a short period. The host emphasizes the importance of not blaming others for one's circumstances and instead focusing on personal growth and development. He invites listeners to subscribe to his newsletter for weekly insights and looks forward to continuing the conversation in the next episode.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Emotional Control
💡CEO Mindset
💡Emotional Maturity
💡Accountability
💡Manipulation
💡Emotional Triggers
💡Mental Health
💡Auto-suggestion
💡Reality Curation
💡Affirmations
💡Mirror Neurons
Highlights
Emotional control is essential for success and should be managed by the individual rather than being controlled by external forces.
The common misconception that emotions are not one's responsibility can lead to manipulation by others.
Emotional maturity involves understanding and assessing one's emotions rather than blaming external factors.
The speaker emphasizes that emotions are natural and it's the response to them that defines maturity.
The importance of taking responsibility for one's emotions and mental health is stressed as a key to success.
Daily efforts in mental health, such as affirmations, reading, and exercising, contribute to emotional control.
The concept of being the 'common denominator' in one's life situations is introduced to highlight personal accountability.
The speaker shares personal anecdotes to illustrate the transformational power of taking responsibility for one's life.
The impact of thoughts, environments, and the people around on an individual's reality is discussed.
Curation of one's reality through conscious choices of environment and company is suggested for emotional well-being.
Auto-suggestion as a tool for controlling thoughts and emotions is introduced, with the power of affirmations highlighted.
The role of mirror neurons in shaping behavior and appearance in relationships and social groups is explained.
The speaker emphasizes the need to project one's beliefs and desires onto others to create a unique reality.
Accountability for the thoughts and emotions one allows into their life is connected to personal success.
The transformative effect of changing one's environment and social circles on personal growth is discussed.
The importance of setting standards and making decisions to leave negative environments is underscored.
The speaker's personal journey from struggling to achieving success through self-improvement and accountability is shared.
The call to action for listeners to take control of their emotions and reality to achieve success is presented.
Transcripts
hey guys welcome back to the grant mitt
podcast episode number 86 and in this
episode we're going to be talking about
emotional control how to think like a
CEO and how to handle all the different
situations that you have in your life
whether it's business family
relationships on how to control your
emotions in life if you do not know how
to control your emotions you will be
controlled by someone who does you see
this with the people who are the most
emotional who get the most triggered
when they don't get the attention they
think they deserve or when someone
doesn't agree with their ideas or the
situation that they're in is not going
how they like it they have outbursts
they get upset they act crazy they do
things and they are manipulated by
people oft times who appear to think the
same way they do but utilize them to get
what they want out of life you see this
with people rioting all over the places
when they start doing destructive things
they start messing up relationships this
is all caused by people who are
manipulating people who cannot control
their emotions now I'm going to be very
blunt in this podcast and I'm going to
say things that are contrary to what the
masses tell you what the media tells you
and what probably your family and
closest friends tell you that is what it
is
now it is a
lie that the world and I believe also in
the medical side of things has told
people that your emotions are not your
responsibility or that if your emotions
are all over the place you immediately
have some type of disorder or some issue
that is not your fault this could not be
further from the truth and these are the
people who are believing these things
who are getting
manipulated for other people's
gain and the reason I'm speaking out
about this and the reason why I'm being
so upfront and blunt about about it is
because me understanding and learning
this the hard way altered my entire life
forever and if any one of you guys have
listened to me enough and you've known
me and listened to me for years then you
think right on line with what I think in
your life has alter also been
altered but this is a new perspective
and it includes you being accountable
which is uncomfortable as hell so when
I'm saying these things this is not me
saying that what you went through is not
messed up or what that person said or
did to you is acceptable I'm not saying
that at all but what I am saying is that
you are in control and in charge of your
life and if you do not take into account
that you as the the individual and the
same for me and my my life my situation
my family so forth we are the common
denominators and it is our job as people
to control our emotions and not be
manipulated by out outside forces okay
the thing to realize is that emotions
come and go you're going to feel happy
you're going to feel sad you're going to
feel anxious about a big presentation
that's coming up you're going to be
nervous for your going in for a job
interview you're going to feel all
different types of emotions that does
not make you messed up that makes you
human human are emotional and it is okay
to feel emotions
but emotional maturity is assessing the
way you feel and understanding why you
feel the way that you
feel the lowest level of emotional you
know management is you immediately blame
outside sources and outside people for
the things that you feel meaning if you
have a bad day you immediately think it
was because of your boss it was because
of the person that cut you off when you
were driving to work because of your ex
ex booyfriend or girlfriend or current
boyfriend or girlfriend your friend if
those people have that much of a
liability in control of your life that
is your fault not theirs 100% your fault
and in any given
situation that happens to you and this
is something that has altered the way I
look at every single problem when
something bad happens to you you have
two ways to view it positively or or
negatively and when you view it let's
say that you lose your job the negative
response is this is horrible I've done
so much for this company they just
betrayed me now I don't even know how
I'm going to be able to make rent what
if I don't get another job the economy
is slowing down I could go on and on and
on that's the negative way the positive
way is well you know I've been thinking
about getting into another industry or
starting a business and now I have the
time to do so I haven't been working out
like I should and reading like I should
now I'm going to have the time to do so
now I'm going to have so much extra time
to be more creative and strategic so I
could come up with in the next two to
four weeks my next plan that could alter
my life forever and you know what if I
would have stayed in that same job for
an extra 3 to four years I may be really
selling myself short and now with me
starting this potential business or
going into this new industry or getting
an even better job
I could quadruple or even more my income
my happiness my quality of life and I
could spend time with my family that's
the positive way so in all of these
situations you have to think
about how are you perceiving the emotion
and the problem we never know if
something's good or bad I'll tell you
guys a quick story that will kind of
change the way you look at problems and
this I have a rule cuz I have to travel
a lot for business and work and I just
enjoy traveling
that is if I ever miss a flight which is
rare or if I get delayed or there's an
issue with the plane and it gets delayed
I will never be upset because I will
just know that I was not meant to be
there at that time or meant to be on
that plane the founder of Family
Guy before he actually started family
guy he had a flight to New York in the
morning and the previous night he was I
think out drinking with his buddies or
whatever the case was and he went to
sleep and he woke up and he goes I
just missed my flight he tried to hurry
he missed it about an hour and a half
later after missing his flight a plane
went into the Twin Towers in New York
and that's when 9/11 happened if he
would have not missed that flight he
would have been one of the people that
died going into the Twin Towers in New
York so you never know if something is
good for you or bad for you and a lot
about emotional maturity is a assessing
what is creating that emotion and that
feeling and how as you as a common
denominator and the individual that's in
this
situation who and what are you allowing
into your area to create this feeling
and should you keep allowing
it it is our job to discern who is in
our life what environment you're putting
yourself into and what information
you're allowing your brain to process
you have to be accountable for this and
the reason why I tell you why this is so
important and I'll give you a story of
how this altered my life is the common
denominator that I've seen in all the
most successful people is they are
unbelievably accountable they are so
accountable for their decisions and
their actions if they have a bad
relationship they're going why did I not
see this further why did I not
anticipate this person being like this
if they hire a bad person it hurts their
business this they don't blame the
person they think what went wrong in our
hiring process what steps can we
Implement to prevent this what things
can I notice in Trends in their behavior
to prevent this individual from coming
into our organization they always think
from an accountable perspective what can
they do differently and this takes a
different level of emotional maturity it
is lazy and common to blame everyone for
all of your problems and act like a
crybaby and feel sorry for yourself
because you had a tough life we all have
that happens to us including me
y'all know a tenth of it but I don't
need to sit here and pout to you guys
all day about bad things that happened
to me instead I need to produce results
and be successful and you need to do the
same all right so I'm going to go
through three three steps to control
your emotions better think more clearly
and and honestly just improve your
complete well-being and lifestyle and if
if you can Master these things guys
everything in your life will get better
I don't give a what you have or
what your doctor told you or what your
mom told you you do these three things
your life will be altered forever all
right number one it is your
responsibility your soulle
responsibility to control your emotions
and make daily efforts to work on your
mental health it is not who you're
dating it is not your parents it is not
the person that did you wrong and it is
not your boss or anybody around you it
is your job to hold yourself accountable
and work on
this one thing that I take pride in that
altered everything and changed my
business career my friendships
everything is that I find 30 to 60
minutes per day to work on myself and
work on my mentality my intelligence and
my mental health I utilize affirmations
to repeatedly remind myself what to
believe
I read books to stimulate my mind make
myself more intelligent I meditate I out
because a strong body is a strong mind I
do things every single day that set my
mind up to be more
successful because I know that if I want
to accomplish really big things that's
going to come with really big challenges
and problems and if I cannot handle that
stress because I'm not mentally tough
enough I'm not going to be success
successful and I can look back even over
the last four to 5 years of running a
business the months and even the years
where I was just lights out I was the
most focused on the mental side of
things the preparation on the times
where I made the most mistakes as a CEO
and just in my personal life was when I
was on autopilot and I was going so fast
that I wasn't working on the
basics nobody is too good to not work on
the mentality their mental toughness and
their emotional control nobody and
there's no level that you reach where
you can stop doing this because it takes
effort to even just be the same much
less even get better so you have to
First Take accountability these next two
steps if you do not do the first these
next two steps don't mean they
don't mean anything because it starts
with you being accountable and that is
how you change your life right number
two what are your thoughts environments
and people that you're currently around
that is creating the reality that you're
in it is your job to curate the reality
that you
want okay I'm G say one more time it is
your job as an individual to curate the
reality that you
want my point is this if you want to be
happy you need to start doing things
being environments and being around
around people that create happiness it
is not a good decision to be around
people that make you miserable and then
medicate yourself enough so much that
you just deal with it that makes no
sense or be around all these miserable
environments the job you don't like the
people you don't like the boyfriend or
girlfriend you shouldn't be dating all
those things combine and then just feel
sad your body sometimes will literally
tell you you when you're doing the wrong
things if I ever feel extremely stressed
or just not like as happy as I normally
would be and I'm a very happy person so
it's hard for me to even admit
that I'm going why am I feeling this way
who have I been around lately and when I
start piecing down all of my decision
making and the people that have been
around me and I start thinking what are
their problems what do they talk about
what are their issues let's look at the
company I I per se work for or the
people I've been working around the
people I just
hired what is their personality what is
their
problems and what I will notice is that
there's common denominators in all those
different environments peoples and uh
and just surroundings that I've
surrounded myself with that is
correlated to my current emotional
feelings and what I want you to and
maybe just pause it right now and write
this out but I want you to write out
your current emotions and feelings for
the last I don't know 30 days 30 to 45
days the feelings that you've
consistently been
having and then I want you to dissect
the things that you watch on social
media the TV reality shows you've been
listening to the people you've been
around and the person you've been dating
and the the family that you've been
surrounding yourself with and I want you
to notice how many correlations there
are they go hand
inand okay if you watch reality TV where
the couples in that show constantly
cheat on each other scream at each other
and act crazy and you watch that with
your boyfriend or girlfriend your
husband or your wife yall two will start
doing the same things we are slowly
hypnotizing ourselves to feel the way
that we feel think the way that we think
and that's why we do it and the lazy way
like we mentioned earlier is to blame
outside sources or to medicate yourself
so much that you feel numb and you don't
process anything at all
or we can become accountable and we can
solve this
ourself right number three you control
what thoughts and emotions you have by
something called Auto suggestion all
right like I mentioned earlier you're
slowly hypnotizing yourself and the
things around you are slowly hypnotizing
yourself to live the way you live
believe what you believe and think what
you
think this is why people will get a new
friend group and they dress different
they act different they talk different
and they live a completely altered other
life I have friends that just moved to
different places and I kid you not they
look like completely different people
that's why people get married they start
looking the same it's because mirror
neurons when people are constantly
looking at each other humans naturally
mirror each other causes literally your
face to start matching the other face of
the other
person and we're not even talking about
energy yet you're having sex with with
another person oh my Lord y'all are
going to start talking the same walking
the same acting the same I could go on
and on for days so it is your job to
control what goes in right a good step
to start this is write out the emotions
that you want to feel okay I'm going to
just list a couple that I like um I'm
I'm confident I am
wealthy um I am happy
right so what I would do is speak those
affirmations in the present tense so say
you're happy so many times that your
ears bleed say you're confident so much
times that it's like the only thing that
processes in your mind say you're
confident repeatedly and when you say
these emotions this is the key feel that
exact feeling so when you're saying
you're happy feel happiness and
visualize it time where you were
happy you're confident picture a time
that you're confident or if you never
been confident before picture yourself
as a character being confident in a
situation as you're doing this you're
slowly reprogramming the way that your
brain processes thing and most
importantly the way that your
subconscious
thinks we project what we believe and
what we want out of life onto other
people that's why if you're looking to
catch somebody doing something you're
always going to be ready for it if
you're looking for the best in others
you can meet the worst person ever and
you're going to find something good
about them it's reality we each have our
Unique
Reality so as I'm teaching you guys
being more accountable you have to
utilize this and control the narrative
next is find some type of books you're
listening to this podcast that's great
and friends that when you're around
you feel
energized you feel happier you feel um
you know more stimulated you're like man
I've never thought of stuff this way you
are more confident they support you in
the same reason in the same way you do
the same towards them constantly look
for those environments if you're in an
environment where people don't
appreciate you first step is like why
why don't that is there something you're
doing wrong and maybe it isn't and you
need to work somewhere else it's it's
important to curate that specific
reality and this is done by standards if
you don't have the guts to walk away
from bad people and bad environments
then you deserve whatever comes around
being those around those bad people and
those bad environments make the damn
decision and get into an environment
that's going to suit you best this is
why some people are so freaking happy
and why some people are miserable you
have to make a change in a decision all
right so what caused a three 60 in my
life I kid you not if there was a way
for me to get screwed or have the short
of the stick I experienced it forever
until I was about 22 years
old I always got passed up for the job I
got passed up for the job promotion I
was just telling someone when I was in
New York I applied for 500 jobs and I
got zero interviews how crazy is that
literally 500 jobs not one
interview and what I noticed is what I'm
teaching you right now I had to learn
but unfortunately I had to learn the
hard way I had to learn through pain and
suffering and being broke and being
disrespected and many of you guys have
had to feel the same way but if you
don't change just like if I didn't
change nothing was going to change my
reality what I wanted or any of the
things that I ultimately wanted to
accomplish so what I had to do is
realize that my lack of focus and pre
being being
prepared cause the results of everything
that
happened I was around the wrong people I
was around the or I I didn't get the
right information I didn't have the
right Network I wasn't in the right
places I didn't have the right skill
sets this was my fault and when I
invested in myself and started studying
and reading and learning like a crazy
person non-stop every single day it
didn't take much more than 6 months to
completely alter my life and when I
moved back from New
York within a year I was making six
figures at 22 years old and by 24 I was
already starting a company this first
year did almost 6 million in sales like
that so in a 2year span I got screwed
and made all these dumb mistakes wasn't
as happy as I could been wasn't
fulfilled from being a young kid to 22
years old but from 22 to
24 look how fast that changed I was the
same person I had the same amount of
resources or less but I was that much
more successful it's because I stopped
blaming other people for my lack of
success it wasn't my coach's fault it
wasn't my teacher fault it wasn't my
parents fault it wasn't my boss's fault
it wasn't the market the industry or the
damn president it was my
fault and when I give this advice I
guarantee this podcast probably does not
do that
good and it will only settle in work
with a few of you you and the ones that
does y'all will be so
successful everyone you grew up with
will not be able to process because of
how successful you are and a lot of this
is is going to rub you the wrong way and
it's going to make you feel a little
triggered because I'm going against the
grain of what everyone has told you your
entire
lives but there's a reason why I have
been
successful it's not because I'm good
it's because I know that I am the common
nominator in each situation and I am
telling you as someone who cares about
your success that you are too and if you
do this Everything Will Change forever
so I hope you guys enjoyed this podcast
make sure to follow me on all my social
media channels at Grant mid also got a
brand new newsletter that's sent to you
guys every single week on Tuesday it's a
3 to five minute read that alters your
life and it's going to be covering
business topics life topics everything
that can make us better and if you guys
would like to subscribe I'm going to put
the link below in the description and
that look forward to seeing you guys
again for episode 87 thanks guys
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