Watch this video if you're shy and introverted…
Summary
TLDRThe speaker recounts his struggle with social anxiety, beginning with a humiliating Indonesian class speech that led to a 'corn' addiction as an escape. His anxiety escalated to affect his interactions with everyone at school, impacting his self-esteem. However, the pandemic offered a respite, allowing him to focus on self-improvement. He quit 'corn', hit the gym, and grew his social media following, boosting his confidence. Returning to school, he faced a public speaking challenge head-on, which became a turning point in overcoming his anxiety. He encourages viewers to confront their fears and anxieties to live a better life.
Takeaways
- 😓 The speaker reflects on a nerve-wracking experience giving a speech in Indonesian, which intensified social anxiety and embarrassment.
- 😥 Social anxiety began to spiral after the classroom incident, leading to a habit of using porn as a way to escape from the stress.
- 😔 Over time, the speaker’s anxiety extended beyond girls to everyone at school, making him feel low-status and socially anxious around peers, friends, and even teachers.
- 🏀 Basketball was initially the speaker’s only source of confidence, providing validation in an otherwise stressful school environment.
- 📱 The speaker posted a picture on Instagram to boost social status but felt even more isolated when it didn’t receive the attention he desired.
- 💻 The COVID-19 pandemic provided relief from social interactions, allowing the speaker to hide behind a screen and temporarily escape social anxiety.
- 💪 After discovering self-improvement and quitting porn, the speaker started building confidence by hitting the gym and focusing on personal development.
- 🎤 Despite preparing well for a school speech, social anxiety returned during the delivery, but the speaker managed to overcome it by staying focused and tuning out distractions.
- 😅 An awkward but humorous moment occurred when the speaker misread the teacher’s gesture as a high-five, which added to his anxiety but ultimately became a turning point for growth.
- 🌱 The speaker emphasizes that overcoming anxiety requires facing fears head-on and realizing that most people are too focused on themselves to notice others’ insecurities.
Q & A
What event triggered the speaker's anxiety and self-doubt?
-The speaker's anxiety and self-doubt were triggered by a public speech in Indonesian class, where he struggled with the language and felt embarrassed as his classmates laughed at him.
How did the speaker initially cope with the anxiety caused by the event?
-The speaker turned to porn as a way to escape his anxiety, which eventually led to a harmful addiction that only worsened his anxiety and social fears.
How did the speaker’s social anxiety evolve over time?
-Initially, the speaker’s social anxiety was limited to interactions with girls in his class, but it later expanded to include boys, friends, and even teachers. Eventually, he felt anxious around almost everyone except his parents.
What was the speaker's only source of confidence during his early teenage years?
-The speaker found confidence in his basketball skills, as he was the best basketball player in his class, which helped him gain some respect from his peers.
What significant change occurred for the speaker during the pandemic?
-During the pandemic, the speaker found relief from social anxiety due to reduced social interaction, as school was online. He could turn off his camera and only interact with friends through games, which made him feel more comfortable.
How did self-improvement and quitting porn impact the speaker's confidence?
-After realizing that porn was damaging, the speaker started focusing on self-improvement, such as going to the gym. This helped him gradually rebuild his confidence over time.
What turning point marked the speaker’s improved ability to handle social anxiety?
-The turning point came when the speaker successfully delivered an English oral presentation without using a script. This event boosted his confidence and led him to actively seek more opportunities to challenge his anxiety.
How did the speaker deal with his fear of public speaking during the English oral presentation?
-Despite his fear, the speaker volunteered to go first, treated the presentation like one of his YouTube videos, and managed to stay focused, which helped him perform well.
What advice does the speaker offer to those struggling with social anxiety?
-The speaker advises people to identify the root cause of their fear and confront it directly by challenging themselves in small, realistic situations. He emphasizes that most people are focused on themselves and not on judging others.
What realization helped the speaker overcome his social anxiety?
-The speaker realized that no one really cares as much as he thought, and that people’s negative reactions often reflect their own insecurities. This realization empowered him to stop worrying about others’ opinions and focus on self-improvement.
Outlines
🏫 School Anxiety and Turning to an Unhealthy Coping Mechanism
The speaker recounts a humiliating experience from five years ago when he was in Indonesian class, giving a speech in front of mostly female classmates. His nervousness was compounded by the language barrier and his lack of proficiency in Indonesian. This event led to a fear of public speaking and social anxiety, which he tried to escape by turning to an unhealthy coping mechanism, which is implied to be porn addiction. The addiction escalated from once a week to multiple times a day, worsening his anxiety and affecting his social interactions. He felt the need for validation from his peers and used social media to try to gain some form of respect, but this only intensified his anxiety.
💪 Overcoming Anxiety Through Self-Improvement
The speaker describes how the pandemic provided a temporary relief from his social anxiety due to the lack of in-person interactions. During this time, he discovered self-improvement resources and realized the negative impact of his unhealthy coping mechanism. He quit this habit and started focusing on improving himself, which led to an increase in his confidence. However, upon returning to school, he found that his confidence was shaken as he couldn't relate to his friends who were沉迷于 porn. He became more introverted and quiet, but eventually, he had to face his fear during an English oral presentation. Despite his anxiety, he performed exceptionally well without relying on a script, drawing from his experience as a YouTuber. This success marked a turning point in his life, as he realized that he could overcome his anxiety.
🗣️ Facing Social Anxiety Head-On
In this paragraph, the speaker encourages viewers to confront their social anxiety by identifying and facing their fears. He suggests that understanding the root cause of one's fear is crucial, whether it's seeking validation or a lack of self-love. The speaker admits that he still experiences anxiety but emphasizes that most people are preoccupied with their own thoughts and perceptions rather than judging others harshly. He advises viewers to take action and challenge their anxiety by doing the thing they fear the most, as he believes this is the key to overcoming it and living a better life. The speaker concludes by urging viewers to embrace change and face their fears to experience the improved life on the other side of anxiety.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Indonesian class
💡Social anxiety
💡Porn addiction
💡Self-improvement
💡Confidence
💡Turning point
💡Challenge anxiety
💡Validation
💡Public speaking
💡Pride
💡Self-worth
Highlights
Giving a speech in Indonesian led to intense embarrassment and anxiety.
Fear of public speaking was compounded by the fear of being judged by classmates.
Pornography was used as an escape from anxiety, leading to a dependency.
Social anxiety extended to all aspects of school life, including interactions with friends and teachers.
Confidence was derived from basketball skills, which was the only source of self-esteem.
A motivational quote was used as a daily mantra to overcome challenges.
Posting on social media was an attempt to gain validation and increase social status.
The pandemic provided temporary relief from social anxiety due to reduced face-to-face interactions.
Self-improvement activities, such as gym workouts, were initiated during the pandemic.
Quitting pornography was a significant step in the self-improvement journey.
The return to school after the pandemic led to a realization of a disconnect with peers.
A public speaking opportunity in school became a pivotal moment for overcoming social anxiety.
Delivering a speech without a script was a personal challenge to test and improve public speaking skills.
The fear of being called a fraud due to public speaking failures was a significant source of anxiety.
A successful speech in school led to a significant boost in confidence and a turning point in dealing with social anxiety.
The realization that people are more focused on themselves than on judging others was a key insight in overcoming anxiety.
Challenging anxiety by facing fears and taking action was recommended as a strategy for overcoming social anxiety.
The importance of understanding the root cause of fear and anxiety was emphasized.
The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to challenge their anxieties and live a better life.
Transcripts
5 years ago we were in Indonesian class
and I was at the front of the class
giving a speech in Indonesian to a bunch
of girls in my class cuz my class was
like three quars girls I think at that
point it was like 25 people so I was
nervous AF and it wasn't a normal speech
it was a speech in Indonesian so it was
10 times the cringe I was reading up a
piece of paper trying to read Indonesian
but I absolutely sucked at the class I
couldn't even remember one word bro so I
was reading off this thing speaking
gibberish and my face went red as [ __ ]
bro and the whole class just started
laughing because I was like third or
fourth I think I can't exactly remember
but the guys went who went before me did
a really good job compared to me and
right that was it that was it I stopped
halfway through I told the teacher yeah
I'm not doing this it's too hard so I
sat down oh but bro that kick started
many things for me uh I would head into
school every single day dreading
something like that happening again
and this was where my corn addiction
heavily started I would use porn to
escape from this anxiety at school I was
always scared of my face going red the
girls in in the corner of the class
laughing at me because their source of
validation was my happiness as any
13-year-old that's the case we all want
to be the most popular in school we all
want to have the most high status so it
was natural I started watching corn more
and more and more went from once a week
to twice a week to three times a week to
every day two or three times a day no
matter matter of 2 years and the more I
watched it the worse it got well the
worse my anxiety got and I got to a
around 8 it wasn't just woring about the
girls what they think of me anymore it
was the boys as well and I knew it was
getting bad then cuz I never really used
to care what other boys at my school
thought of me unless they had a tendency
to fight me yeah unless they were you
know violent kids then I would care but
if they wen't I wouldn't really give a
[ __ ] so it started off with just the
girls in my class then to basically
every single girl in U7 and then it was
the boys in U7 then it was my friends
and then it was my teachers so I was
basically socially anxious around every
single person now other than my parents
really and because of this anxiety I
felt very low status at school right I
wanted respect from people I was a
pretty good basketball player I was the
best basketball player in my class in my
yeah year level and that was like my
only source of confidence right it's the
only felt the only way I felt I truly
respected and truly admired so one night
I can't remember really remember what it
was it was either year seven or year
eight I posted a picture of me playing
basketball on Instagram to in in the
hopes of getting maybe some girls at my
school to like the photo even comment on
the photo yeah just to up my status a
little bit because I was known as a
pretty good basketball player right with
a motivational quote at the bottom this
was my staple quote that I always took
with me every single day of the week
hard work always beats Talent when
Talent fails to work hard because I was
a 5'5 kid going up against six-footers
at the age of 13 I had to have that
quote so I posted an IG and it got like
10
likes and the next day I remember no one
said anything to me directly so I don't
actually know if they were laughing at
me but we were in my we were in a class
and I naturally sat in like the middle
of the class and the girls sat at the
back and I kept looking back to the
girls cuz I kept laughing and every
every single time I looked back at least
I thought anyway they were laughing at
me because of the like because of my
anxious mindset right I thought every
was talking about me so a couple of days
later I archived that photo and only had
10 likes no one really saw it anyway no
one really gave a [ __ ] uh but then I was
stuck in a in a paralysis in my mind how
can I gain respect from people how can I
stop this anxiety how can I just be
confident without coming off as cringe
like I thought I did then near the end
of year eight the pandemic hit and I was
the happiest kid you'd ever meet bro no
social interaction I could turn my
camera off on Zoom or Microsoft we use
Microsoft teams
I was the happiest guy ever no one could
see me except my parents bro I could
talk to my friends on Playstation they
wouldn't actually see my face so I could
go R all I wanted I'll wake up every
morning do my school bust probably a
night or two and then I would just play
games for the rest of the day until I
discovered the world of
self-improvement and I discovered that
you know corn was actually really bad
for you I tried to quit you know you
guys the ogs know the story it took me
about 3 or 4 months to actually quit
after realizing that corn was bad I
started hitting the gym more all the
basic type of things that everyone does
nowadays on this self-improvement path
so my my confidence naturally grew and
then School came back around 6 months
later I think it was so I'm walking into
the first day of school I'm expecting to
be very very confident I've just focused
on myself the last 3 or 4 months there
was no reason why I shouldn't but I got
to school and all my friends are talking
about you know memes and games that I
haven't really been playing much you
know and I feel very left out because I
can't relate to anyone anymore so my
confidence is actually worse because I
can't relate to anyone I still have my
friends there of course they're still my
friends but I don't relate to my friends
as much as I used to and all my friends
were talking about how they watch corn
all over the holidays and that's all
they did all they did was release their
seed and they're talking about how their
right arms bigger than their left arm
their left arm is so weak cuz I haven't
done anything with it you know and I
couldn't relate to them because I knew
that you know that was the devil for me
at the point which it still is so I
turned even though I was a naturally
quiet kid into that more introverted
really really quiet kid who you know
might have sat by himself sometimes and
did his work and didn't talk in class
which everyone else would yeah just
because I couldn't really relate to much
people and then around a year later my
confidence has grown because I've made
progress in the gym I've grown my social
media following which has naturally you
know up my confidence a little bit by
looking at some pictures on the screen
there is an English oral presentation we
have to do yeah basically speech in
class about a book that we have read in
class and I have prepared I don't use a
script everyone else uses a script I
don't use a script because I'm used to
talking on YouTube without scripts so I
think to myself okay I'm going to
perform better without a script I ask
the teacher can I go first can I just
get it over and done with I am scared as
[ __ ] like this is this is the hardest
thing I've ever done if I stuff up this
without a script game's over bro game is
over people are going to start calling
me a fraud because I make uh videos
about how to how men can be more
confident people are going to call me a
fraud if I do not nail this speech
especially the girls in my class who you
know they have an agenda against me but
they'll naturally clown to me back in
the day and they still kind of do long
story short I go into this speech and I
actually do really really well I tune
out the noise and I just focus I think
of it just like a YouTube video I've
revised I just going to get into that
flow State that's it I finished the
speech and bro I'm the happiest man ever
yeah I've ended the speech with a
motivational quote that came off right
yeah my tone was good yeah I went red
but I didn't give a [ __ ] about it and as
soon as I just forgot about going red it
just went away I I I felt it go away I
went red for the first 20 seconds and
then for the next 3 minutes I wasn't
ready again but that would have been one
of the happiest days of my life I was
walking back to my seat when I was done
cuz I just said Thank you and just walk
back to my seat because I wanted to
basically saturate myself with pride
yeah but the teacher puts out her hand
like this stop go up to the front again
cuz for anyone who wanted to ask me
questions about you know my
speech and I think the teacher is doing
this to give me a high five for doing
well so I got to her I just give her a
massive high five cuz I'm so excited bro
and everyone started laughing at that so
then naturally I was more nervous cuz
I've just [ __ ] this speech up with
that that one thing even though the
speech was really good but started
laughing I started laughing at myself so
it was all cool yeah but that was that
was pretty funny I was that excited that
I just couldn't I didn't even hear over
I just saw her put her hand up so I gave
her a half five oh that was funny and
you hear a lot of people talk about oh
yeah there's no point in time where I've
just change right change happens over
time which 100% but with my confidence
and my ability to cope with my social
anxiety that was my turning point right
there I was so scared of that but
because I was so scared and because I
actually did really well I started maybe
once I spoke slow yeah I didn't let
anything anyone get to me I simply spoke
my true heart that was the turning point
in my life and naturally because I knew
it wasn't all that no one really gives a
[ __ ] right I'm a good speaker yeah I've
spoke multiple times on camera I know my
capabilities and because of that I
naturally seek out more uncomfortable
situations I put my hand up more in
class if there was a speech I would
always go first if there was an
opportunity for me to not use a script
and maybe get better marks for that I
would not use a script yeah because it
naturally tests my confidence yeah
naturally test my ability I saked at
those every single day yeah and I spoke
on camera basically every single day so
I was constantly refining my skills so
for anyone who is struggling with social
anxiety and severely whether it's a like
disorder or not I'm specifically talking
to the people who just experience it on
a day-to-day basis it might not be a
disort up because I've never I was never
diagnosed with an anxiety disorder I
don't know if I ever had one I probably
didn't yeah but if you haven't got the
gist of the main point of this video it
is to challenge your anxiety but I'm not
going to end the video here and just
tell you to challenge your anxiety I'm
actually going to explain to you how you
can challenge your anxiety and calm that
voice inside your mind and make the
whole process so much easier I want you
to identify the thing that you're so
scared of doing is it talking to that
girl is it talking to your crush is it
giv that speeching class is it putting
your hand up in class something really
simple bro is actionable it's realistic
yeah speaking in front of the whole
country given a presidential speech is
probably not realistic unless you're
someone of that capability watching this
video but think of a realistic scenario
for you and I want you to really imagine
this imagine that
scenario why are you actually scared of
it it's not just because oh let's let's
take the girl for example right I'm
scared to talk to my crush it's not that
you are scared to talk to your crush
it's why you're scared to talk to her
it's not because you you you're afraid
of what she thinks of you why are you
afraid of what she thinks of you maybe
your center of happiness is her
validation maybe it's simply the fact
that you're trying to use her as love
for yourself because you don't have love
for yourself right you look you can't
look yourself in the mirror because
you're not disciplined maybe you don't
have any you know you don't have any
goals you don't have any Ambitions or
maybe you do but you don't put work
towards them there can be so many
reasons why but that's why I ask you why
are you so scared just simp just one
thing why and much you've got that you
got to realize bro like no one really
gives a [ __ ] no one cares like no one
gives a [ __ ] you know I used to I I I
should have brought this up before but I
don't know if you can see I still
struggle with anxiety today it's not
like and I'm showing you my thumbs
because when I was little like year
seven my thumbs used to be red bro
because I pick them I don't know if you
can see that but I pick my thumb
sometimes I don't know if you can see it
but I pick come out of anxiety it's a
bad habit you when I get anxious I start
picking my thumbs even in some of these
videos you will see me put my head down
and pick my thumbs cuz I'm nervous to
say something and assuming you don't
have a social anxiety disorder everybody
has your same mindset some people are
outliers and they're very very confident
right but the average person has the
exact same mindset as you and they are
constantly thinking about themselves and
what you think of them not what they
think of you when everyone in my class
went up for a speech they don't give a
[ __ ] about my speech
they care about their they're only
saying it's cringe they're only saying
you know it's weird because they think
it's weird or cringe if they did it it's
simply a reflection of their own
perspective you can't let this anxiety
hold you back from living the life you
deserve to live you can't if you
continue like this always hiding behind
something you don't even know what
you're hiding behind this is going to
hold you back from living the life you
deserve it is because you deserve a
[ __ ] good life and at the back of
your mind you know you do so get that
one thing that you've been thinking of
this whole video yeah whether it's
talking to your crush going doing that
speech in class putting your hand up in
class tomorrow and answering a question
yeah that you might not be so confident
in just [ __ ] do it and just see what
happens bro yeah just see what happens
people start calling you cringe who
cares it's simply reflection of them and
it means you're doing something right my
friend you deserve a much better life
than you are living right now and this
anxiety if you're still watching this
video is the number one thing holding
you back all right so I want you to go
out there and challenge it yeah from my
personal experience bro it is the best
thing you will ever
do life's so much better on the other
side I will catch you in the next video
my brother peace
浏览更多相关视频
Social Anxiety: The Silent Pandemic That Needs A Louder Voice | Kyle Mitchell | TEDxTullahoma
Your Real & Ideal Self | John Laurito | TEDxBabsonCollege
Confiance en Soi: Petites Actions, Grands Changements | Eric Flag | TEDxEcublens
You are (a lot) more attractive than you think...
Connect with Storytelling - Toastmasters
How I Wasted My 20's (and why it all stops now) | Video 1 of 30
5.0 / 5 (0 votes)