Your Real & Ideal Self | John Laurito | TEDxBabsonCollege

Summary

The speaker recounts a moment of panic that led to a public breakdown, revealing a lifelong struggle with anxiety. He discusses the impact of this on his self-perception as a leader and the journey to overcome it. Through self-reflection, he discovers the power of focusing on small, controllable actions to influence larger outcomes, which he applies to both his personal battles and professional life. The narrative concludes with a call to recognize and harness one's influence, illustrated by the story of Steve Jobs, emphasizing the ripple effect of small changes.

Takeaways

• 😰 The speaker experienced intense anxiety and panic attacks, which were debilitating and affected his ability to speak in public.
• 🎯 Despite leading an office and being respected by colleagues, the speaker felt out of control and struggled with his self-image during a presentation.
• 🏃‍♂️ He once fled from a speaking engagement due to the overwhelming panic, marking a low point in his career.
• 🤔 The speaker grappled with the fear of legitimizing his panic attacks by acknowledging them, which led to a 20-year period of secrecy.
• 💡 He realized that focusing only on controllable aspects of life can be flawed, as it ignores potentially changeable factors that could improve one's situation.
• 🔄 The speaker learned that he could move things from being uncontrollable to controllable by finding the small, manageable steps that lead to significant change.
• 🏋️‍♂️ He applied this concept to his daily life, such as changing his morning routine by focusing on the small step of getting dressed for the gym.
• 🗣️ In public speaking, he overcame his panic by preparing questions to ask the audience, which gave him a moment to regain composure.
• 💪 Gaining control over his panic attacks empowered the speaker, boosting his confidence and expanding his comfort zone.
• ⏳ The speaker emphasizes the far-reaching impact of personal influence, as illustrated by the story of Steve Jobs learning about quality from his father.

Q & A

What was the physical sensation described by the speaker at the beginning of the script?

The speaker described a wave of heat starting from their feet and moving up through their body, causing their hands to tremble, beads of sweat on their forehead, and a rapid heartbeat.

Why was the speaker asked to speak in front of colleagues?

The speaker was asked to speak because they were leading an office that was experiencing great success, and their boss wanted them to share some of the things they were doing.

How did the speaker feel before their presentation, and why was this unexpected?

The speaker felt out of control and struggled to breathe naturally, which was unexpected because they knew and respected the colleagues they were speaking to and should have felt comfortable.

What was the speaker's reaction when they were introduced to speak?

The speaker began walking to the front of the room, feeling sweat drip down their face and back, and their face turned red. They felt they couldn't breathe, and the audience's expressions shifted from interest to concern.

What did the speaker do when they reached the front of the room and couldn't speak?

The speaker turned around, grabbed a pen, and started writing on the whiteboard for 20 painful silent seconds, not knowing what they were writing.

How did the speaker's panic attack affect their career and self-perception?

The panic attack led to a low point in the speaker's career and made them feel like an imposter, as they couldn't lead themselves through the situation despite being a leader.

Why did the speaker keep their panic attacks a secret for 20 years?

The speaker believed that if they didn't think about or talk about the panic attacks, they would go away, and they feared that acknowledging them would legitimize and fuel the attacks.

What philosophy did the speaker initially adopt to deal with things they couldn't control?

The speaker adopted a philosophy of focusing on what they could control, influencing what they could, and ignoring what they couldn't influence or control.

How did the speaker's approach to dealing with panic attacks change over time?

The speaker realized they could move things from one 'bucket' to another, gaining influence over things they initially couldn't control, and finding ways to change them into things they could control.

What is the 'three percent' concept the speaker talks about, and how did it help them?

The 'three percent' concept refers to finding a small, manageable part of a larger challenge that can trigger the rest of the process. For the speaker, it was getting out of bed and putting on gym clothes to start a workout routine, or preparing questions to regain composure during presentations.

How did the speaker use the 'three percent' strategy to overcome their panic attacks?

The speaker used the strategy by preparing questions to ask the audience, which gave them a few seconds to regain their composure and breathing, thus preventing the panic attack from escalating.