The Personal Space Bubble | Danielle Falling | TEDxEastGrandRapidsHigh

Summary

Danielle Falling shares her personal journey with personal space, comparing her intense need for space to a spiky metal box. She describes her discomfort and fear of human contact, and how she overcame these feelings through self-reflection and mantras. Danielle encourages the audience to reach out beyond their personal space bubbles, emphasizing that connection and love can combat loneliness. She reminds us that it's okay to step back for self-care and that reaching out can lead to meaningful connections.

Takeaways

• 🔵 Personal space is deeply personal and can vary greatly from person to person.
• 🔵 The speaker used to have an extreme view of personal space, likening it to a metal box with spikes.
• 🔵 Over time, the speaker realized the importance of adjusting their personal space for healthier human interactions.
• 🔵 Feelings of dread and disgust were associated with others breaching the speaker's personal space.
• 🔵 The speaker likened the feeling of personal space invasion to the inability to breathe underwater, similar to the 'Bubblehead Charm' from Harry Potter.
• 🔵 The concept of 'sa' was introduced, which is the realization that every passerby has a complex life as vivid as one's own.
• 🔵 The speaker encourages looking beyond surface interactions to understand the complexities of others' lives.
• 🔵 The idea of reaching out to others, even when it feels uncomfortable, is emphasized as a way to connect and receive in return.
• 🔵 The speaker shares personal mantras to cope with the discomfort of personal space invasion and to encourage social interaction.
• 🔵 Loneliness is a significant issue, with statistics showing a considerable portion of adults feeling lonely or living alone.
• 🔵 The speaker suggests that love and connection are essential to combat loneliness and that it's okay to step outside of one's comfort zone to achieve this.

Q & A

What is Danielle's initial description of her personal space bubble?

Danielle initially describes her personal space bubble as not a bubble but a box made of metal with spikes, implying that it was rigid and potentially harmful to others if they came too close.

How did Danielle feel when someone invaded her personal space?

Danielle felt an overwhelming sense of dread, disgust, and abhorrence when someone came too close to her, comparing it to the feeling of suffocation or drowning.

What is the 'Bubblehead charm' reference Danielle mentions?

The 'Bubblehead charm' is a reference from Harry Potter, where a charm allows someone to breathe underwater. Danielle uses it to illustrate how being within her personal space felt like having the ability to breathe.

What mantras did Danielle use to try to change her relationship with personal space?

Danielle used a series of mantras to change her relationship with personal space, one of which was about reaching out to understand that each person she meets has a complex life of their own.

What is the meaning of the word 'sa' that Danielle shares?

The word 'sa' is from the obscure dictionary of Sor, written by John Cing. It represents the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and as complex as your own.

What does Danielle suggest about reaching out to others?

Danielle suggests that if you reach out to the world, the world will reach back, but it can be hard because of the fear of rejection or the discomfort of breaching one's personal space.

What does Danielle mean by 'finess'?

Danielle uses 'finess' to describe a state where you're not falling apart and the world is not ending. It's about being okay and maintaining composure even when you're trying to breach your personal bubble.

What statistics does Danielle mention about loneliness in society?

Danielle mentions that in 2010, 35% of adults over 45 were considered lonely, and 27% of people were living alone as of 2013, indicating a prevalent feeling of seclusion and loneliness in society.

How does Danielle relate the grieving process of elephants to her own feelings?

Danielle relates the grieving process of elephants, who can feel sadness and grief for up to 7 years or more, to her own feelings of sadness that come with reaching outside of her personal bubble, suggesting that this sadness is a product of love.

What are the three main takeaways Danielle wants her audience to remember?

The three main takeaways Danielle wants her audience to remember are: 1) It's okay if your bubble pops, 2) Sometimes you need to take a step back and breathe, and 3) If you reach out, the world will reach back.