Neuroscientist: THIS IS WHAT WOMEN WANT.

Summary

The transcript explores the complexities of human attraction and relationship choices, emphasizing the importance of kindness and safety over superficial attributes like wealth or physical appearance. It discusses how evolutionary instincts influence our preferences, yet the prefrontal cortex allows for the creation of new rules that can override these instincts. The conversation also touches on the role of societal changes and technology in shaping modern dating behaviors, suggesting that while biology sets boundaries, personal experiences and choices can significantly influence our attractions and relationships.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The human brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex, can override evolutionary instincts to some extent by setting new rules for behavior based on personal values and experiences.
• 💑 In long-term relationships, kindness towards a partner is often prioritized over physical attractiveness or wealth, as it signals potential for a supportive and nurturing relationship.
• 👫 Physical attractiveness and resource potential are still important factors in mate selection, but they are not the sole determinants of successful relationships.
• 💰 While financial stability is a consideration in relationships, it is not the primary concern for most individuals; instead, qualities like kindness and compatibility play a more significant role.
• 🌍 Cultural differences can influence the importance placed on factors like income and physical attractiveness in mate selection, but kindness remains a universal preference.
• 👶 Kindness is linked to reproductive success, as it suggests that a potential partner will be caring and supportive towards offspring.
• 🤔 The concept of 'gold diggers' exists, but it is not a common motivation for most people when seeking long-term partners; rather, it is a minority perspective.
• 📱 Modern dating apps have changed the dynamics of courtship, with some platforms like Bumble giving more control to women in the initial stages of interaction.
• 🧬 Evolutionary biology sets certain bounds on human attraction, but individual experiences and societal changes can influence how these instincts are expressed.
• 🔄 People's preferences in partners can change over time due to conditioning and new experiences, demonstrating the flexibility of human attraction beyond strict evolutionary programming.

Q & A

What are the two types of safety mentioned in the context of body type preference and relationships?

The two types of safety mentioned are personal safety for both men and women in the context of relationships, and the safety related to resource potential, child care, and long-term partnership stability.

Why might some men avoid choosing the most attractive woman as a long-term partner?

Some men might avoid choosing the most attractive woman due to a lack of confidence in their ability to maintain the relationship, fearing that they might not be able to keep her committed to them.

What does the term 'resource potential' refer to in the context of mate selection?

In the context of mate selection, 'resource potential' refers to the perceived ability of a potential partner to provide for the family, which includes financial stability, career success, and other material resources that contribute to the well-being and safety of the family.

Why is kindness considered a critical factor in long-term relationships according to the transcript?

Kindness is considered critical in long-term relationships because it is a strong indicator of how a partner will treat one's children, ensuring their survival and well-being. It also reflects the partner's capacity for nurturing and maintaining a stable, supportive relationship.

How does the concept of 'gold diggers' relate to the discussion on mate selection and resource potential?

The concept of 'gold diggers' relates to the discussion as it highlights individuals who prioritize material wealth over other qualities in a partner. This behavior is seen as a strategy for securing resources, but the conversation suggests that kindness and treatment towards the individual are more important than material wealth alone.

What role does the prefrontal cortex play in human behavior and mate selection?

The prefrontal cortex, located behind the forehead, is referred to as the 'rule-setting machine' in the brain. It allows individuals to create new rules for behavior, which can influence mate selection by overriding evolutionary hardwiring with conscious choices and learned preferences.

How can societal changes impact the way people perceive attractiveness and mate selection?

Societal changes can shift the distribution and perception of attractiveness, as well as the criteria for mate selection. As society evolves, so do the preferences and priorities in choosing a partner, which can lead to a broader range of acceptable traits beyond traditional evolutionary preferences.

What is the significance of the 'pick' phenomenon in the context of dating and mate selection?

The 'pick' phenomenon refers to the idea that individuals are more attracted to someone who is highly sought after by others. This can increase the perceived value of a potential partner, as it suggests that they are desirable and have qualities that others find appealing.

How does the concept of 'mutual picking' relate to the dynamics of dating and relationships?

Mutual picking refers to the process where both parties in a potential relationship express interest in each other. This mutual consent can lead to a more balanced and satisfying relationship, as it indicates that both individuals are equally invested and attracted to one another.

What is the role of the prefrontal cortex in conditioning and changing preferences?

The prefrontal cortex plays a significant role in conditioning and changing preferences by allowing individuals to override innate tendencies and develop new associations based on experience. This can lead to changes in what is considered attractive or desirable in a partner, as learned experiences shape one's preferences.