How Killing Your Inner "NICE GUY" Gets Women HOOKED On Your Every Word
Summary
TLDRThe speaker in the script shares a unique approach to engaging in conversation with a potential romantic interest. Initially, they recommend disagreeing with the person for the first five minutes to create intrigue, then shifting to agreement to build rapport. The speaker emphasizes the importance of emotional engagement over logical arguments, suggesting that the conversation should fluctuate between positive and negative to keep it interesting. They also discuss the use of false time constraints and leading the conversation to reveal more about oneself and the other person, using examples like discussing sports and travel preferences.
Takeaways
- 🎧 The speaker suggests a conversation strategy where one initially disagrees with the other person to create interest, then shifts to agreement to build rapport.
- 📈 The speaker compares the conversation dynamics to a graph, aiming for a balance of positive and negative interactions that trend towards positivity over time.
- 🚫 The speaker advises against creating absolute rejections that are hard to recover from, preferring emotional rejections that don't logically preclude future interactions.
- 🏃♂️ The speaker emphasizes the importance of leading the conversation by sharing personal interests and experiences to guide the other person's responses.
- 🤔 The speaker uses the example of sports to illustrate how to lead the conversation and elicit engaging responses from the other person.
- 🗣️ The speaker highlights the value of asking open-ended questions to encourage the other person to reveal more about themselves.
- 🚫 The speaker warns against setting false time constraints that are too specific, as it can limit the potential for further interaction.
- 🌍 The speaker introduces a 'pseudo-obstacle' related to travel to test the other person's reaction and gauge compatibility.
- 💡 The speaker suggests using humor and light teasing to create a fun and engaging conversation, as demonstrated with the sports example.
- 🔍 The speaker encourages being in charge of the conversation by setting the tone and direction, rather than passively allowing the other person to dictate the interaction.
Q & A
What is the initial approach suggested by the friend in the script for engaging in conversation with a girl?
-The friend suggests starting a conversation by disagreeing about things for the first five minutes and then shifting to agreeing with her after that period.
What does the script imply about the importance of the initial five minutes of conversation?
-The script implies that the initial five minutes of conversation are crucial for setting the tone and creating an emotional impact, which can later be built upon.
How does the script describe the ideal emotional graph for a conversation?
-The ideal emotional graph should gradually increase, hanging near zero for a while, with ups and downs, but overall trending towards positivity.
What type of disqualifiers should be avoided according to the script?
-The script advises against using disqualifiers that are too specific and create genuine obstacles, such as stating that one's lifestyle is completely incompatible with the other person's.
What is the purpose of using a false time constraint in the conversation as per the script?
-The purpose of using a false time constraint is to create a sense of urgency and interest without actually limiting the conversation due to specificity.
Why is it suggested to avoid being too specific with false time constraints in the script?
-Being too specific with false time constraints can create genuine obstacles and limit the conversation, whereas vague constraints allow for more flexibility.
What is the significance of leading the conversation as mentioned in the script?
-Leading the conversation allows the speaker to control the direction and flow of the discussion, making it more engaging and revealing more about their personality.
How does the script suggest using personal experiences to lead a conversation?
-The script suggests sharing personal experiences, like mentioning the sports one played, to guide the conversation and show interest in the other person's experiences.
What is the strategy for asking about travel preferences in the script?
-The strategy involves disclosing one's own travel habits and preferences, and then asking the other person if they like to travel, creating a more engaging and personal conversation.
Why is it important to be genuine when discussing travel in the conversation according to the script?
-Being genuine when discussing travel is important because it helps to establish trust and authenticity in the conversation, which can lead to a deeper connection.
Outlines
🎧 Engaging Conversations with Mixed Responses
The speaker discusses a friend's unique approach to engaging with others, especially in the context of dating. Initially, the friend would disagree with the other person to create a dynamic and then shift to agreement after a few minutes. This strategy aims to create an emotional graph that fluctuates positively and negatively but overall trends upwards, simulating a genuine connection. The speaker emphasizes the importance of not creating absolute rejections that are hard to overcome and suggests using vague disqualifiers that affect emotions rather than logic. The conversational tactics involve leading the discussion with personal preferences to encourage the other person to reveal more about themselves, creating a more engaging interaction.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Disagreeing
💡Agreeing
💡Emotional Impact
💡Noise to Signal Ratio
💡Pseudo-Obstacles
💡Leading the Conversation
💡False Time Constraint
💡Disqualifier
💡Engaging Conversation
💡Personality
💡Travel
Highlights
The initial strategy is to disagree with the girl for the first five minutes to create an emotional impact.
After five minutes, the approach shifts to agreeing to win the person over.
The conversation should ideally have a graph of positive and negative spikes, with a gradual increase towards positivity.
Disagreements should be emotionally impactful but not logically absolute to avoid creating a lasting negative impression.
Avoid using specific false time constraints that could limit the interaction.
Pseudo-obstacles for emotional reasons are preferred over creating genuine obstacles.
Leading the conversation by sharing personal preferences can make the interaction more engaging.
Giving the other person a chance to match your interests can increase the connection.
Using personal anecdotes can help in leading the conversation and showcasing personality.
Creating a scenario where you put the other person on the spot can make the interaction more dynamic.
The speaker shares a personal story about playing soccer to connect with the other person.
The importance of being in charge of the conversation and not just passively asking questions is emphasized.
The technique of using a false time constraint to add intrigue without being too specific is discussed.
The speaker demonstrates how to ask questions that lead to more revealing answers.
The concept of creating a narrative that includes the other person is explained.
The speaker explains the technique of using travel as a topic to gauge compatibility.
The importance of not being too specific when creating a false obstacle is reiterated.
Transcripts
[Music]
I had a friend a long time ago not the
most sophisticated approach to game but
it actually does work his philosophy was
this for the first five minutes I just
disagree with a girl about things after
five minutes I started agreeing right so
for the first five minutes what kind of
music do you like just answer anything
house music how oh [ __ ] dude
really so so [ __ ] cliche you like no
I I like music that has like soul and
meaning behind it not just like this
electronic [ __ ] um but whatever so
what at least you like music at least
you don't at least you have a soul it's
cool right and then after a few minutes
then maybe something more positive um so
what do you like what do you like to do
for fun uh just like to go on walks okay
okay you know what the the funny thing
is I like first impression a lot of
people would say that's boring but I
actually [ __ ] with that that's cool so
at first giving you [ __ ] disagreeing
later on I'm going to be more positive
it's like you won me over right if we
had like a chart where every single time
there's a positive Spike like you giving
her a ment it moved in One Direction
every time it moved in the other
direction which you you know what that
graph would look like right right
ideally you guys would like to have a
graph that goes up and down both and it
hangs sort of near POS sort of near zero
it should gradually gradually increase
but it should hang near zero for a while
and the the the noise to Signal the
noise should be much higher than the
signal at first does that make sense
right whereas yours was very much like
yeah yeah clear positive positive
positive positive positive you don't
want to do a rejection that's
absolute and you can't come back from it
you'd like to have the rejections have
the emotional impact of a rejection but
not have that kind of logical lingering
how to unwind it thing yeah your
objection should not be like our
lifestyles are completely incompatible
and it makes no logical sense for us to
be together that's the wrong kind of
disqualifier right as opposed to you
know my my my my heart wants to like you
my head says no right something vague in
general and just that hits that emotion
but it's not this very specific thing
right
it's similar in a way to like with the
false time constraint you don't want
your false time constraints to be too
specific like hey I can't stay super
long that's fine but you're like I have
to meet a friend for dinner in five
minutes and it's his bachelor party and
if I'm not there he's going to kill me
right now you really are limited to 5
minutes because you were very specific
about it right you want to be a lot a
lot more you don't want to create you
don't you you can create these pseudo
obstacles for emotional reasons you
don't want to create genuine obstacles
for yourself what's a what's a typical
question might ask just any any random
question you might ask what do you like
to do what do you I do for fun but I am
really into the gym in sports did you
ever like play sports as a kid uh yeah
yeah which ones and there's actually
there's one answer to this that like if
you say it I'm I might have to buy you a
drink but just don't don't no pressure
what what sports did you play uh
swimming oh yeah that's not the
one I like swimming I have a ton of
respect for swimmers but no I I played
soccer myself so you know gotta does
that make sense yeah nice right you see
how much more engaging that is and how
much more I'm leading the conversation
and I'm in charge as as opposed to like
so what do you like to do for fun right
you got a lot more of my personality out
of that than out of so what do you like
to do for fun yeah right what did I do I
led I gave you an idea of this is the
answer I'm looking for are you going to
do it or you're not going to do it Etc
and I and I led with I told you what
sport I played I told you I'm into
sports I you know there's a lot more
there and you can do same thing with all
kinds of stuff like that right like hey
so I have to tell you one thing if just
before we get to know each other and
fall in love or something like that I do
travel a lot so I might not be in Dallas
all the time like if that's a problem
for you we'll just be friends okay
do you like to travel or no me yeah
personally like like be the girl first
you can do whatever you want oh yeah I
like to travel here and there yeah have
you actually travel or you just
bullshitting me uh like I got to Europe
with my family a couple times have you
ever traveled when you had a choice in
the
matter not really so you don't like to
travel you just you're just lying to me
it's okay you're young yeah well you'll
grow into
it right but you see how like how much
more I'm putting you on the spot yeah
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