The Uncomfortable Path Is the Most Fulfilling Path
Summary
TLDRIn this discussion, the hosts address a listener's dilemma of choosing between two promising job opportunities. They explore decision-making strategies, emphasizing the importance of aligning choices with personal priorities, embracing discomfort for growth, and avoiding decisions based solely on fear. The conversation highlights that a good decision is not just about the options available but also about how one commits to and makes the most of the chosen path. Key takeaways include trusting one's instincts, considering long-term satisfaction, and following one's joy while using fear as motivation.
Takeaways
- π The speaker, Jess from Ireland, is facing a dilemma between two job opportunities, both offering training and development but with different additional benefits.
- π€ Jess highlights the difficulty of decision-making when both options seem equally appealing and emphasizes the importance of choosing the path that feels right, even if it's uncomfortable.
- π‘ The decision-making process should consider not just the options but also the individual's approach to the process, including commitment and presence in the chosen path.
- π Jess suggests that a good decision involves aligning one's energy with the chosen option and not dwelling on what could have been, to avoid regret.
- π The speaker recommends considering priorities and evaluating which aspects of the opportunities are most important, and which can be self-created versus those that rely on external support.
- π Jess introduces the concept of 'heuristics' as a tool for decision-making, suggesting that one should reflect on whether they would make the same decision again in the future.
- π¬ The speaker shares personal experiences, such as making films for Netflix, to illustrate the value of taking the uncomfortable path for potentially more fulfilling outcomes.
- π£οΈ The 'hell yeah or no' heuristic is introduced as a way to gauge one's emotional response to a decision, advocating for choosing what feels like a resounding 'hell yeah'.
- πΆββοΈ Jess advises that if a decision does not elicit a 'hell yeah' response, it may be best to decline it, suggesting that there are compassionate ways to say no.
- π The importance of following one's joy is emphasized, as it aligns with one's true self, and using fear as a motivator rather than a deterrent.
- π The speaker warns against making decisions based solely on fear, such as choosing a less fulfilling option for financial security, and encourages listening to one's inner compass.
Q & A
What are some factors to consider when choosing between two job offers?
-When choosing between two job offers, consider factors like growth opportunities, stability, mentorship, and how well the job aligns with your long-term career goals. It's also important to assess your ability to create the necessary support structures on your own versus relying on what the company provides.
How can one ensure they make a good decision when both options seem equally appealing?
-To ensure you make a good decision, focus on aligning your energy with the choice you make. This means fully committing to your decision and not second-guessing yourself. Also, consider your priorities and how each option aligns with them.
Why might a pros and cons list not be as effective in decision-making?
-A pros and cons list might not be effective because it can overlook the emotional aspects of decision-making. Human beings are emotional creatures, and decisions often hinge on how they make us feel, not just on the logical pros and cons.
How should one approach the concept of 'following your joy' in decision-making?
-Following your joy means prioritizing what makes you come alive and aligns with your true self. It's about listening to your inner compass and choosing the path that brings you the most fulfillment, even if it seems more challenging.
What role does fear play in decision-making, according to the script?
-Fear can be used as a motivator in decision-making. Rather than letting fear dictate your choices, let it fuel your determination to pursue what truly makes you happy. However, avoid making decisions solely based on fear, as this can lead to unfulfilling outcomes.
How can one avoid regretting a decision after it has been made?
-To avoid regretting a decision, focus on fully committing to the path you choose and avoid dwelling on what could have been. Recognize that both options have their merits and that you can make the best of whichever choice you make.
What does the speaker mean by 'the uncomfortable path is often the most fulfilling path'?
-The speaker suggests that the more challenging and less comfortable option often leads to greater personal growth and fulfillment. This path may involve more risks and uncertainties, but it can ultimately be more rewarding.
Why is it important to consider future regret when making a decision?
-Considering future regret helps you think about whether your future self would be happy with the decision you're making now. It encourages you to choose the option that aligns with your long-term values and goals, reducing the likelihood of regret.
How can one use the 'hell yeah or no' heuristic in decision-making?
-The 'hell yeah or no' heuristic suggests that if you aren't fully enthusiastic about an option, it might not be the right choice. If something doesn't feel like a 'hell yeah,' it might be better to say no and wait for an opportunity that truly excites you.
What is the significance of 'lining your energy up with what you have chosen'?
-Lining your energy up with what you have chosen means fully committing to your decision and giving it your best effort. It involves embracing the choice you made and focusing on making it work, rather than second-guessing yourself or considering what could have been.
Outlines
π€ Navigating Career Crossroads: A Decision-Making Dilemma
Jess from Ireland seeks advice on making a difficult career decision. She has resigned from her current job after accepting a new offer promising training and development. However, her current employer counters with a similar offer, including mentoring from a role model. Jess discusses the challenge of choosing between two appealing opportunities and reflects on her decision-making process. She mentions the limitations of pros and cons lists and the emotional aspect of decisions, emphasizing the importance of aligning energy with chosen outcomes. She suggests affirming that one will be okay regardless of the choice and considering priorities such as growth versus stability, as well as the level of external support needed for achieving those priorities.
π¬ Lessons from Filmmaking: Risks and Rewards of Decisions
The speaker shares personal heuristics for decision-making, inspired by their experience in filmmaking. They discuss the importance of making decisions that one would be willing to make again in the future, using the example of producing two Netflix films that, despite the challenges and discomfort, were ultimately fulfilling. Another heuristic is the 'hell yeah or no' approach, which emphasizes the importance of making decisions based on strong positive feelings rather than lukewarm acceptance. The speaker also talks about the role of fear and joy in decision-making, advocating for following joy as a guide and using fear as motivation without letting it dictate the choice. The paragraph concludes with a reminder to align actions with decisions and to find compassionate ways to navigate difficult transitions.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Decision-making
π‘Priorities
π‘Training and Development
π‘Comfort vs. Fulfillment
π‘Pro and Con List
π‘Homo economicus
π‘Hell Yeah or No
π‘Future Self
π‘Joy vs. Fear
π‘Mentoring
Highlights
Jess from Ireland is considering two job offers, each with different benefits: one offers training and development, and the other offers the same along with mentoring from an inspiring videographer.
TK shares his approach to decision-making, emphasizing the importance of choosing the uncomfortable but fulfilling path.
Making decisions is not just about choosing the better option on paper but also about how the decision will make you feel emotionally.
TK highlights that even a good decision can be made miserable by focusing too much on what could have been chosen instead.
TK advises aligning your energy with the decision you make to ensure it becomes a positive and fulfilling choice.
Consider your priorities: one job might offer better growth opportunities while the other offers more stability. Decide based on what you value more at this stage of your life and career.
TK suggests evaluating which priorities you feel more confident in creating on your own versus those that might need infrastructural support.
One heuristic TK uses is asking if he would make the same decision again in the future, helping to determine long-term satisfaction.
TK reflects on the importance of taking the uncomfortable path, as it often leads to more fulfilling outcomes despite the challenges.
Derek Siversβ heuristic of 'Hell yeah or no' is mentioned, where if an opportunity doesnβt feel like a strong yes, itβs a no.
Making decisions with compassion and care for others is important, even when saying no or leaving a job.
Follow your joy and let fear fuel your motivation to take necessary actions, rather than letting fear dictate your decisions.
TK discusses the common mistake of letting fear override joy, leading to decisions that prioritize safety over happiness.
The podcast promotes the idea of aligning with your true desires and not letting fear dictate your choices in life and career.
The video ends by encouraging viewers to follow the podcast on Patreon to access more content and support the ad-free platform.
Transcripts
our next question today is from Jess hi
I'm Jess from Ireland I have a question
about where my options I've recently
handed in my 30 days notice to my
employer after receiving a job offer the
offer I accepted has guaranteed me
training and development within the
field I work in however my current
employer has offered me the same
training and development with mentoring
from a videographer who inspired me to
pursue
videography how would you approach
making the difficult decision between
two fantastic opportunities TK how do
you approach decision- making in your
own life because I often think about
like if there are two paths and I'm at
have fork in the road right the
uncomfortable path is often the most
fulfilling path and it's also usually
the path I don't want to go down there's
ponies and rainbows on this one and it
looks more appealing now sometimes it
just may be more appealing and I don't
want to go down if you know definitively
like one path is going to be appreciably
better for you than the other right well
it's easy to make that decision that's
not what we're talking about here right
I also find for me that generally and I
do this still if I do a proon list it
doesn't really help me as much as you
would think it would because well we
know about this economic term homo e
economicus right it's like this ideal
human being who doesn't make any
emotional decisions but just acts on the
information that is presented to them
yeah but human beings we are creatures
who act and react emotionally and often
these decisions are about how's that
decision going to make you feel because
maybe the one decision you're going to
make makes sense on a spreadsheet
monetarily it's a better decision yeah
but that's like looking at a rainbow in
black and white it removes all the
humanity from the decision-making
process so I've got some heuristics that
I use in my own decision-making process
but I'd like for you to talk a bit about
decision
making when I think about choosing
between two fantastic options or two
good options I I like to first begin by
affirming you're going to be okay either
way right um part of making a good
decision isn't just about prediction
which one am I going to be happiest with
but it's also about recognizing that a
good decision isn't just about the
option but it's about the way you choose
to show up for the process and so it's
like if I'm choosing between two good
restaurants in order for this to be a
good decision I've got to do more than
just think about my priorities and pick
a good restaurant but I also have to
make the choice that once I choose that
then hey I'm going to make this work I'm
going to be fully present here I'm not
going to psych myself out and be
thinking about what I could have ordered
if I had gone to that restaurant because
even with a great decision you can
render it miserable by focusing too much
on what you could have done instead so a
good decision is about lining your
energy up with what you have chosen
after you've chosen and if you got two
Fant fantastic options you've got to
know you're going to be okay because
once you make the choice you'll line
your energy up with it and you'll improv
the best way forward here's another
thing I'd
say think about what your priorities are
in two ways the first way is one option
might offer you something like a better
upside for growth another option might
offer you more stability and you can
think about that by saying well I think
I value stability more than upside for
growth at this stage of my life life and
career or at this stage I think I value
growth a little bit more than stability
and I've got a higher tolerance for risk
so I'm willing to do it that's one way
you can do it but a second way you can
do it is you can say of these priorities
I have which ones do I need the least
amount of infrastructural support to
create which ones do I think I'm most
capable of creating on my own and maybe
I don't feel as confident in my ability
to create a powerful Network on my own
and so I lean on this company because it
provides me with an infrastructure that
makes it easier for me to do that and I
can take my chances with some of these
other priorities creating them on my own
so what are your priorities what's the
most important thing to you and of your
priorities which ones do you feel more
confident in your ability to create on
your own those can be a couple of fistic
to help you think this through I've got
a couple as well that really stand out
to me and those are really helpful thank
you TK the first one is would I make
this decision again now it's hard to
make that decision now but you can think
about it will my future self want to
make this decision again will my future
self be happy with this decision a year
from now and I can look back now and say
oh I wouldn't do that again but yes I
would make our first two Netflix films
again yes I would make that decision
again even though those are really
difficult so it goes back to that heris
I talked about earlier is the
uncomfortable path is the most
fulfilling path it would have been way
more comfortable to not make those films
it cost a lot of money but also way more
important than that a lot of time a lot
of energy a lot of attention a lot of
Heartache a lot of arguments with the
the film producing team and we're going
back and forth and you know there's just
so much that goes into that it was
uncomfortable to do that especially
because you don't know what the
outcome's going to be you don't even
know what outcome you want with that but
for us it was creating something that
would reach people right it's fairly
vague outcome
but there's no way I could have known
the the amount of people you tens of
millions actually over a 100 million
people now between both of those films
that we have reached because we were
willing to take the uncomfortable path
the other heris that works well is Derek
cers hell yeah or no and at some point
that is a that is not an intellectual
exercise so much as it is how do I feel
about this does it feel like a hell yes
I have a friend who reached out to me
recently and her job is requiring her to
relocate to a city in a different state
and she I could hear in her voice right
away and she was asking like well give
me some insights about this she I know
you don't give advice but what What
observations do you have about uh about
this situation and I said well my first
observation is I can hear it in your
voice this is not a hell yeah for you
and for me it doesn't mean you shouldn't
do it but for me if at this point in my
life I've decided that if it's not not a
hell yeah then it is a no now it doesn't
mean that I'm going to be unreasonable
with the people around me doesn't mean I
have to be a jerk when I say no there
are really compassionate ways to say no
there are compassionate ways to walk
away from a career so you're not just
walking into your boss's office and
saying screw you I quit this is no
longer a hell yeah for me that a great
way to there's also a hell yeah in the
way that we sort of DeCamp from a a
situation like that how can I make this
this a hell yeah as I walk toward
wherever I'm wanting to walk
next one last thing I'd say is follow
your joy and be fueled by your fear your
joy is what makes you come alive it's
what lines up with who you truly are and
that's the thing that you want to
prioritize in your life and sometimes
you will feel fear how will I pay the
bills how will I have security you want
to let that fuel you in the sense of of
leveraging that fear to motivate you to
do the things you know to do but how do
you get the guidance for what you should
do by following that inner compass that
says this is my joy the mistake that we
often make in these situations is we
feel fueled by Joy but we follow our
fear our heart is saying this is what
makes me come alive and man I would be
so happy if I did this but then we say
yeah but I can't give myself permission
to do that because my fear is issuing
these threats about what's going to
happen to me if I listen to you and so
I'm sorry I love you I want to marry you
I wish you were the one but this is the
person over here even though they're
abusive they promise to pay my bill so
I'm going to go follow my fear you don't
want to do that thanks for watching this
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