This video will destroy your FOMO in 10 minutes.

Summary

In this insightful video, an 18-year-old student and YouTuber discusses overcoming the fear of missing out (FOMO) by focusing on self-improvement. He suggests evaluating the value of social events and the people involved, emphasizing the importance of creating memorable experiences and prioritizing personal growth. The speaker advocates for delayed gratification, arguing that by saying 'no' to less meaningful activities, one can 'say yes' to more significant opportunities and success in the future.

Takeaways

• 🕵️‍♂️ The speaker is an 18-year-old student who balances YouTube as a side business, which leaves little time for social events.
• 🚫 The fear of missing out (FOMO) is addressed by questioning the value of the activities one might miss, suggesting that they may not align with personal values.
• 🤔 The speaker encourages self-reflection on what one values in life, such as fitness, work ethic, and intelligence, and then compares these values to the average person attending social events.
• 📊 A ranking system is proposed to evaluate the people at social events based on personal values, suggesting that if they score low, there's less FOMO.
• 🧐 The importance of understanding that FOMO is driven by other people's actions is highlighted, implying that social pressure is a key factor.
• 🎉 The speaker emphasizes the need for experiences to be memorable and of high quality, rather than frequent but forgettable.
• 📚 The idea that by saying 'no' to less valuable activities, one is saying 'yes' to more important pursuits like work or personal projects is presented.
• 💡 The mindset of delayed gratification is introduced, suggesting that short-term sacrifices can lead to long-term gains.
• 🚀 The potential for greater success and access to better experiences once one achieves a higher level of personal or professional development is discussed.
• 🚪 The metaphor of doors closing and opening is used to illustrate the concept of choosing to close doors to less valuable experiences to open doors to more rewarding ones in the future.
• 🛑 The final takeaway is a call to action, encouraging viewers to implement the 'EXT' steps provided in the video to combat FOMO and improve their lives.

Q & A

What is the main concern the speaker addresses in the video?

The speaker addresses the concern of 'fear of missing out' (FOMO) and how it affects one's personal growth and social life.

What does the speaker suggest as the first step to overcome FOMO?

The first step suggested is to understand and rank the people in the environment that one feels they are missing out on, based on the values they hold for themselves.

According to the speaker, why does FOMO exist?

FOMO exists because of other people and the social pressure to conform and participate in activities that others are doing.

What is the speaker's view on the value of social events like parties for an 18-year-old?

The speaker believes that the value of such events is often low, with average rankings in areas like health, intelligence, kindness, purpose, and fitness being below a 5 out of 10.

What does the speaker propose as a criterion for choosing which events to attend?

The speaker proposes that one should attend events that are likely to become 'core memories' and are of high value, rather than just attending for the sake of avoiding FOMO.

How does the speaker define a 'core memory' experience?

A 'core memory' experience is one that is memorable, significant, and contributes positively to one's life, such as a memorable party after exams with friends.

What is the mindset the speaker encourages when it comes to saying no to certain experiences?

The speaker encourages the mindset of understanding that saying no to certain experiences is indirectly saying yes to more meaningful and productive activities.

What is the analogy the speaker uses to illustrate the concept of delayed gratification?

The speaker uses the analogy of Mark Zuckerberg potentially going to a party instead of coding Facebook, highlighting the importance of prioritizing long-term goals over short-term pleasures.

What is the final point the speaker makes about the nature of FOMO?

The speaker concludes that FOMO is not about actually missing out on anything; instead, it's about choosing to delay gratification and gain access to better experiences in the future.

What does the speaker suggest as the three steps to deal with FOMO?

The three steps suggested are: 1) Rank the people in the environment you feel you're missing out on, 2) Assess if an invitation will lead to a 'core memory' experience, and if not, decline it, and 3) Understand that saying no to something is saying yes to something more important.

How does the speaker describe the importance of experiences that are memorable and of high quality?

The speaker emphasizes that memorable and high-quality experiences are more valuable as they contribute to personal growth and happiness, and are worth more than frequent but less meaningful social engagements.

Outlines

00:00

🎓 Overcoming Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) Through Prioritization

The speaker, an 18-year-old student balancing YouTube and studies, addresses the common concern of FOMO among young adults. He shares his personal experience of not attending many social events due to his commitments and offers a logical approach to overcoming FOMO. The speaker suggests evaluating the value of the people at social events based on personal criteria such as fitness, work ethic, purpose, health, and intelligence. By ranking these attributes, he argues that the fear of missing out dissipates when realizing that the people at these events may not align with one's own values. He emphasizes the importance of social connections but encourages choosing experiences that are memorable and contribute to personal growth over routine social gatherings.

05:00

🚀 Embracing Delayed Gratification for Long-Term Success

Continuing the conversation on FOMO, the speaker introduces the concept of delayed gratification as a key to self-improvement. He illustrates this by suggesting that by saying 'no' to average experiences, one can focus on more meaningful activities that lead to success, such as building a business or studying. The speaker uses the hypothetical scenario of Mark Zuckerberg choosing to code Facebook over attending a party, highlighting how prioritizing work over immediate social pleasures can lead to significant achievements. He concludes by advising viewers to create 'core memory' experiences that are memorable and valuable, rather than attending every social event, and to understand that by delaying gratification, one opens doors to a wider range of experiences and opportunities in the future.

Keywords

💡Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

FOMO is the anxiety that an individual might miss out on an enjoyable experience or event that others are participating in. In the video, the speaker discusses how to deal with FOMO by evaluating the value of the experiences one might be missing out on, suggesting that by not attending certain events, one is actually focusing on more meaningful activities.

💡Self-improvement

Self-improvement refers to the process of personal development to increase one's knowledge, skills, and abilities. The video's theme revolves around self-improvement, with the speaker advocating for a logical approach to FOMO that involves prioritizing personal growth over social events.

💡Social Connection

Social connection is the sense of belonging and bonding with others in a community or group. The script mentions that as social animals, humans need social connections, but the speaker argues that not all social engagements are equally valuable, and some may detract from personal development.

💡Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward. The speaker uses this concept to explain why one should prioritize long-term goals over short-term social events, suggesting that by doing so, one can achieve higher levels of success and fulfillment.

💡Core Memory

A core memory is a significant and meaningful experience that stands out and is remembered fondly. The speaker advises viewers to only attend events that will likely become core memories, as opposed to routine social gatherings that may not be as memorable or valuable.

💡Work Ethic

Work ethic is the idea of working diligently and persistently towards one's goals. In the video, the speaker values work ethic and suggests that it is more important to focus on one's work and personal projects than to attend every social event.

💡Fitness

Fitness in the context of the video refers to physical health and well-being. The speaker uses fitness as one of the criteria to evaluate the value of social events, suggesting that the average person attending parties may not prioritize their health as much as they should.

💡Intelligence

Intelligence, as discussed in the script, is one of the traits that the speaker values in oneself and others. It is used as a metric to assess the environment and the people one might be missing out on when not attending certain social events.

💡Purpose

Purpose refers to having a clear goal or objective in life. The speaker mentions that people who attend many parties may lack a strong sense of purpose, and by focusing on one's purpose, one can avoid the anxiety of missing out on social events.

💡Leveling Up

Leveling up is a term often used in gaming to denote progress or advancement to a higher level. The speaker uses this term metaphorically to describe personal growth and success, suggesting that by saying no to certain experiences now, one can 'level up' and gain access to better opportunities in the future.

💡EXT Steps

EXT Steps is an acronym used by the speaker to represent a set of actions or strategies for dealing with FOMO and prioritizing self-improvement. It stands for Evaluate, Think, and Say No, and is a method to assess the value of social engagements and make decisions that align with one's goals.

Highlights

The speaker, an 18-year-old student, discusses balancing YouTube as a side business with a busy student life, leading to less time for social events.

The concept of 'FOMO' (Fear Of Missing Out) is introduced, and the speaker shares their personal experience with it.

A logical approach to overcoming FOMO is presented, emphasizing the importance of self-improvement over social conformity.

The speaker suggests evaluating the value of social events by ranking friends and acquaintances on personal values such as fitness, work ethic, and intelligence.

The idea that attending social events might make one more like the average attendee is introduced as a reason to be selective.

The importance of social connections as a fundamental human need is acknowledged, while also recognizing the negative feelings associated with exclusion.

The notion that FOMO is primarily driven by other people's actions and the societal pressure to conform is explored.

The speaker argues that by not attending certain events, one can actually rise above the average and achieve more personal success.

A strategy for dealing with FOMO is proposed: focusing on creating memorable 'core memory' experiences rather than frequent, less impactful ones.

The concept of delayed gratification is tied to the idea of saying 'no' to less valuable experiences to make room for more meaningful ones.

The speaker shares a personal anecdote about a memorable post-exam beach house party that stands out as a high-value experience.

The importance of choosing experiences that will be remembered and cherished in the long term is emphasized.

The idea that by achieving a higher level of success, one gains access to a wider variety of experiences is discussed.

The speaker uses the example of Mark Zuckerberg to illustrate the point that prioritizing work over a party can lead to significant achievements.

The concept of 'EXT' steps is introduced as a method for self-improvement and dealing with FOMO.

The final message is one of empowerment, encouraging viewers to take action on the 'EXT' steps to improve their lives and overcome FOMO.

An invitation to join the speaker's free community for further support and resources is extended to the audience.

Transcripts

[Music]

foro fear of missing out I'm an

18-year-old student who's doing YouTube

on the side as his business and so from

that one statement you can probably tell

that I don't have a lot of free time so

because of that I don't attend many of

the events and parties that many people

my age would normally go to and I get

this question a lot from people on

self-improvement how do you deal with

foro like by getting onto

self-improvement you're indirectly

saying that you're not going to do many

of the things that normal people do but

as every single bro scientist will say

on YouTube We're social animals and we

need social connection so it feels bad

when we're not accepted by the tribe

when we're not going to the same parties

as other people so here's my logical

approach to formal which completely

dismantles it for

me first thing you understand is that

your friends are probably mid like if

everybody goes to this event or this

party they're all over here and you're

over here looking at them you need to

understand that by going there you

become more like them and so the simple

question is is that something you want

think about those people like actually

rank them like this is very brutally

honest but rank them in things that you

value in yourself what do you value in

yourself for me I value things like

Fitness work ethic purpose Health

intelligence and so now I'm thinking of

the average person that goes to a party

their health probably like a three out

of 10 intelligence probably like a three

out of 10 four out of 10 kindness

probably just average five out of 10 um

purpose in life probably like a two out

of 10 and then Fitness let's say they

average five out of 10 guess what

that is below a 5 out of 10 if you add

those five rankings together and divide

it by five it's below a five out of 10

and so we need to understand that formal

only exists because of other people

that's the most important part of the

equation if nobody else went to that

party you would not feel formal about

the party and so when you have this

understanding that the people that go

aren't even people that you want to be

like it takes people off the equation

and again most of formal is just from

other people and so if you take people

off the equation a lot of the formal

goes away so yeah with whatever metrics

you want to use the things that you

value in yourself rank those people rank

the average person in that environment

because if you go to the environment you

become like that person number two your

experiences are probably mid what

happens a lot of the time is people go

to so many parties that they just merge

together and it doesn't even feel like

anything anymore or even worse they go

to the parties but they have work at

home they have assignments due they have

stuff on their desk waiting for them and

so they're at the party that trying to

enjoy themselves but they kind of enjoy

themselves because they're thinking

about the work that they have at home

the thing is if you're like 15 to 20

which is like the average for my viewers

I think the experiences you have are

really mid they're like 5 out of 10 6

out of 10 but in the moment it feels

like a 10 out of 10 because you're

lonely not saying that you can't

experience these things and you have to

shave off your head and go full monk

mode chop off your dick so you don't

accidentally relapse on noof FB by

having a wet dream or something I'm

saying that if you're going to go at

least make sure that it's a 8 out of 10

9 out of 10 experience make sure is

something that you will actually

remember in the long term like the last

party that I went to was last year after

all my exams were done my whole class

chipped in a little bit of money each so

that we could book this Chalet which is

like a big house a two-story building

next to the beach we went there for a

full day play volleyball I found like a

stick like a really big stick at the at

the seaside and the you know your male

brain is like oh big big stick got to

hit my friend within we took some

pictures there at night we watched some

movies and um we played this game called

stress which I don't know if it's a

Singapore thing but stress is basically

where you put cards down you say stress

and then the person that finishes that

cards first wins so it's just like me

and like five different girls in the

upstairs room we were doing it and like

instead of saying stress because they

were a bit you know stressed instead of

saying stress they say and so you

could just hear from upstairs

thinking back to the

experience the fact that I can remember

the small details reaffirms to me that

that was actually a 8 of 10 9 out of 10

experience and so the reason why it was

an 8 out of 10 experience 9 out of 10

experience was because one our exams

already over so we didn't have to think

about work so I when I could rest I

really rested and two I hadn't done

anything else the whole year think about

it the whole year I was grinding on

school grinding on YouTube then in the

end I went for one day where I went for

a party and we parted till like past

midnight I had to go home at past

midnight compare that to if every single

week I went to a party went to an event

went to this thing went to this birthday

party every week by the time I went to

the Chalet to have fun it would have

been diluted instead of being this big

event it would be like a normal Friday

night and so what's the point it loses

all meaning so yeah I don't go to events

unless it is like some genuine core

memory type like if you've ever

watched inside out you know what I'm

saying right if it's not going to be a

core memory then it's not worth it to me

i' rather go do work and do something

more productive than that and so the

fact that I can still remember that day

up till now reaffirms to me that that is

a core memory number three you still

have access to these things this is

probably the most important mindset

which is when you say no to certain

things you are indirectly saying yes to

other things if I say no to the five out

10 experience if I say no to the party

I'm indirectly saying yes to YouTube to

studying more to the things I actually

care about and so my mindset is like

okay if I say no to the 5 out 10

experience and keep keep leveling up I I

go from 5 to 6 to 7 to 8 I keep working

on my business I become more successful

well once you're an8 out of 10 I'm using

these terms just cuz when I say this you

know exactly what I mean and it's just

easier to communicate if I become an

eight out of 10 I still have access to

the five out of 10 experiences but I

wouldn't want to go back because I have

also access to the 8 out of 10

experiences and so to give you a real

example to really drive the point home

imagine Mark Zuckerberg in his Harvard

dorm on his laptop and he's about to

code Facebook this one work session is

going to be the start of Facebook it's

going to grow into this big thing

imagine he gets a message on his phone

and the message says yo there's a party

if he says yes to the party he's

indirectly saying no to coding Facebook

so he cashes out at this like 5 out of

10 experience he goes to the party he

has like 5 out of 10 6 out of 10 fun he

doesn't end up coding Facebook but if he

says no to that and says yes to the work

he goes from a six in a month he goes to

seven in a year he goes on eight and now

at an 8 out of 10 let's say at 8 out of

10 of success whatever metric you're

want to use right but 8 out 10 success

he has access to so many more fun things

that he could do if he wanted and he

also still has access to going back to

the Harvard party if he wants to like do

you think millionaires don't party they

probably party harder than anyone else

they rent like the whole hotel they rent

private jets they get the Instagram

models they invite other successful

millionaire friends to network they can

just snap their fingers and have the 10

out of 10 experience in front of them

because they've gotten to that level and

so I would rather get up to that level

so all the doors are open whatever

experience I want to have I can just

have compared to what most people do

which is what you might be doing which

is a door opens you have a invitation

you go inside another door opens you go

inside and so every door that opens you

go inside go inside go inside and so you

spend most of your time just in

different rooms but you're still stuck

at this same level what would be better

it says you close all the doors for now

you say no to those things you level up

and as you level up you could still go

back to those doors anyway and the thing

is there are some doors that probably

close forever there are some you know

birthday parties that I said no to that

you know I said I said no so I closed

the door and I can't open that door

anymore right like the birthday party

has passed already I can't go back and

say yes and so there are some doors that

closed permanently but I can't even

remember them because yeah those small

Doors Down Here closed permanently but

now I have access to all these up here

and so weirdly enough for me the key to

defeating foro is to just understand

that I'm not actually missing out

anything like fear of missing out that's

what foro stands for right I'm not

actually missing out anything I'm just

saying no to the things right now which

technically I'm missing out but when I

get to the next level I have access to

new things I'm not missing out I'm just

waiting out I'm not regretting I'm just

delaying gratification so yeah here are

your three exal steps number one think

about the environment that you feel like

you're missing out on rank the people in

that environment by the standards that

you would use for yourself and then see

where they are if they're below a 6 out

of 10 that means they're mid or failing

number two if I get an invitation to

something I will always ask myself is

this going to be a core memory type of

experience if no then I say no and then

number three understand that when you

say no to the thing you're indirectly

saying yes to the thing that matters the

most and that's not only what's going to

lead to more success but that's what's

going to lead to to more doors opening

in the future so you're not actually

missing out anything you're just

delaying a bigger reward later on That's

the basis of self-improvement That's the

basis of delayed gratification so go to

your EXT steps take action Pew oh I'm

still here Checkmate but yeah um

if you like my advice you can join my

free community it's a school Community

where I post a couple times a week I do

calls in there um for free if you want

to join you can click the the link in

the description the one that says free

basically yeah who would have thought

the free community is the one called

free what no but yeah go do your EXT

full steps like it takes less than 5

minutes to do the extal steps that I

give you in these videos and the return

on the investment is really high just

like shut your brain off and just do it

once this video ends right once the

video like reaches the I always say this

like once the written dot at the bottom

of the screen reaches the end I can't

influence you anymore so go do it give

me a kiss