First Time Going Out As A Woman | Tea Time With The T-Girls (S01E03)
Summary
TLDRIn this episode of 'Tea Time with the Tea Girls,' co-hosts discuss their personal experiences with transitioning to full-time women. They share stories about their first times going out, the challenges they faced, and the evolution of their fashion sense and self-perception. They also offer support and advice for those currently transitioning, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance and the journey from proving one's identity to simply being comfortable in one's own skin.
Takeaways
- π The hosts discuss their experiences with transitioning and the challenges they faced in their early days.
- ποΈ One host started taking testosterone and is experiencing changes in her voice, which she attributes to the hormone treatment.
- π The conversation focuses on the first time they went out fully as women, a significant moment in their transition journeys.
- π« One host recalls her first time dressing as a woman during high school, noting the support she received from friends and the challenges she faced with acceptance.
- π She also mentions her first car, a red Civic, and how it was part of her identity during her early transition days.
- π The hosts discuss the importance of clothing and appearance in their early transitions, and how they initially dressed to project a certain image.
- πββοΈ They talk about their experiences with hair, including using extensions and the challenges of maintaining a feminine look.
- πͺ One host shares her experience shopping at Forever 21 with an older man who helped her pick out clothes, highlighting the support she received during her transition.
- π They discuss the use of makeup and how it played a role in their early attempts to pass as women, with one host admitting her makeup was initially a 'mess'.
- π The conversation touches on the support systems they had, including family reactions and the importance of having people who understand and support their transitions.
- π The hosts emphasize that transitioning is a personal journey and that it's okay to not be perfect at the beginning, encouraging others to be patient with themselves and their transitions.
Q & A
What is the main topic of discussion in the podcast episode?
-The main topic of discussion is the first time the hosts went out as full-time women and their experiences during the early stages of their transition.
Why does the host mention her voice sounding weird?
-The host mentions her voice sounding weird because she has started taking testosterone, which might be affecting her voice.
What does the host mean by 'detransition'?
-Detransition refers to the process of reverting back to living as the gender one was assigned at birth, which the host does not want to do.
What was the host's first experience going out fully as a woman?
-The host's first experience going out fully as a woman involved wearing a skirt to school during her junior or senior year in high school.
How did the host's high school environment influence her decision to dress as a woman?
-The host's high school environment was accepting, with many ravers who were open-minded, which made her feel comfortable dressing as a woman.
What was the host's experience with an older man who helped her during her transition?
-The older man helped the host by taking her shopping for clothes and supporting her journey, but the host advises against such interactions due to potential risks.
Why did the host feel embarrassed during her first grocery store visit after transitioning?
-The host felt embarrassed because a little boy asked his mom why she was dressed in a certain way, highlighting her perceived lack of passing as a woman.
What was the host's approach to dressing and presenting herself during her early transition days?
-The host dressed provocatively, aiming to appear sexy and feminine, even though she later realized her presentation was not as polished as she initially thought.
How has the host's fashion sense evolved since her early transition days?
-The host's fashion sense has evolved from trying to prove her femininity through her clothing to dressing in a way that makes her feel good and authentic.
What advice does the host give to those who are transitioning or considering transitioning?
-The host advises not to get too caught up in the appearance and clothing during the transition, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself and not needing to prove anything to others.
How did the host feel after her bottom surgery?
-The host felt complete and no longer had anything to prove to anyone after her bottom surgery, indicating that she felt more aligned with her true self.
Outlines
π Introduction to Tea Time with the Tea Girls
The video begins with a warm welcome to another episode of 'Tea Time with the Tea Girls.' The host introduces her co-host, Kira Jade, and encourages viewers to check out their social media profiles in the description box. The host then reveals that she has started taking testosterone, which has affected her voice. They decide to discuss their experiences of going out for the first time as full-time women, acknowledging that this is a significant moment for many who are transitioning. The conversation touches on the challenges and the excitement of this transformative period.
π« First Time Going Out Fully as a Woman
The co-host shares her first experience of going out fully as a woman, which occurred during her junior or senior year in high school. She recalls wearing a skirt to school and the reactions from her peers, particularly the jocks who recognized her as a boy. Despite not feeling passible, she felt comfortable and relied on the support of her friends. The conversation also delves into her interactions with an older man she met on a dating site, who helped her shop for clothes and supported her transition journey. The co-host emphasizes the importance of a support system during the early stages of transitioning.
πββοΈ Transitioning and the Struggle with Appearance
The conversation continues with the co-host discussing her early attempts at transitioning, including her efforts to grow her hair and use hair extensions. She describes her experiences with laser hair removal and the challenges she faced with dressing and makeup. The co-host also shares a traumatic experience of being embarrassed by a child in a grocery store, highlighting the difficulties of not passing as a woman. The discussion underscores the emotional journey and the learning curve involved in presenting oneself as a woman during the transition.
π The Evolution of Fashion Sense and Acceptance
The co-host reflects on how her fashion sense has evolved since her early days of transitioning. She talks about her initial attempts to dress provocatively and the realization that her clothing choices were initially about proving her femininity to others. Over time, she has shifted to dressing for herself and feeling comfortable in her own skin. The conversation touches on the importance of self-acceptance and the journey from seeking external validation to embracing one's true identity.
π Embracing the Completed Transition and Moving Forward
In the final paragraph, the co-host discusses her feelings of completeness after her bottom surgery and the cessation of testosterone production. She feels that she no longer needs to prove anything to anyone and is content with who she is. The conversation wraps up with a message to viewers, particularly those who are transitioning, encouraging them to focus on being true to themselves rather than getting caught up in the details of their transition. The co-hosts invite viewers to share their thoughts and experiences in the comments.
Mindmap
Keywords
π‘Testosterone
π‘Transitioning
π‘Detransition
π‘First Time Out
π‘Support System
π‘Laser Hair Removal
π‘Extensions
π‘Passing
π‘Feminine Presentation
π‘Self-Acceptance
π‘Medical Transition
Highlights
Introduction of the episode and hosts discussing their experiences with transitioning.
Host's confession about starting testosterone and its potential effects on her voice.
Discussion on the challenges faced by individuals during the initial stages of transitioning.
The importance of having a support system when transitioning and going out for the first time.
Personal story of the host's first time dressing as a woman in high school and the reactions received.
Misadventures with laser hair removal and the desire to avoid a tell-tale sign of being trans.
The evolution of the host's fashion sense from trying to prove femininity to dressing for personal comfort.
The host's experience with an older man who helped her shop for clothes during her early transition.
Navigating the complexities of dressing and the pressure to look passable during the early stages of transition.
The host's recollection of an embarrassing incident at a grocery store during her early transition days.
Reflections on the transition journey and the realization that one day, passing will come naturally.
The significance of family support and acceptance during the transition process.
The host's experience with using Sally's beauty products for hair extensions and the resulting mishap.
The transition from seeking external validation to focusing on personal identity and comfort.
The host's realization of feeling complete after bottom surgery and no longer needing to prove her identity.
Encouragement for those transitioning to not get caught up in the appearance and focus on self-acceptance.
Closing thoughts and invitation for the audience to share their experiences and questions related to transitioning.
Transcripts
hey what's going on and welcome back to
another episode of tea time with the tea
girls and today I have here um my
co-host Kira Jade hey guys you can go
ahead and find her socials on the
description box as well as mine as well
so um let's get started with today's
topic I'm kind of
scared so we were talking about it and I
know we were like well before everybody
starts questioning like why is my voice
so weird so that's for another episode
no should we tell them the truth okay
let's tell them so confess so I started
taking
testosterone I started taking
testosterone
and I got sick and I don't know
if it's because I'm still not better or
is it because
maybe the testosterone is starting to
affect my voice what do you think girl I
think it's the
test they have
dropped all right well anyway so we'll
see we'll see what happens I'm GNA I sto
taking my testosterone because you know
I don't want to I approve I don't want
to
detransition but today's topic is not
about my voice but it's actually talking
about the first time we ever went out as
fulltime so you know many girls today
are still transitioning and um they're
going out for the first time you know
they dress up and maybe they had their
moment of going from like gay boy to um
Fanboy yeah Fanboy to uh drag right
we've all had that I feel like I had my
drag time I I feel like I did some drag
before I fully transitioned
and you know um for a lot of people
going out for the first
time like fully as a woman it's a big
thing it's a huge thing and we all know
that the first day of coming out you do
not go out looking like a
woman but true it's true your first day
out in the streets you'll probably be
something that looks in between you know
a pretty woman I would say you know like
and a manly woman
exactly so let's think back you know
it's been such a long time for me of
when I transitioned right so um it's
been more than 13 years so do you
remember the first time you went out as
full you know Woman as a man in a
wig is that what it was like what was
what was your first time going out full
time for you you know what was that like
are we talking about like can we talk
about the first time I just went out as
a woman or like fulltime completely oh
my God okay let's okay I didn't think
about that I was thinking more like um
when you when you thought that you're
like okay this is like my first day as
being fulltime I'm not going back I
threw away all of my boy clothes and oh
that's full okay yeah like do you know
what I'm saying cuz there's a time where
you start dressing up and we've kind of
all had that in those moments let's I I
want to focus more on like that like the
first time like when you finally th away
your boy clothes if you ever had any did
you have any boy
clothes oh I had a lot but they were
very they were very like you know F
Queen like crop top still but they were
like so like what you're wearing now
yeah it was very that I had to go back
to my you know history and bring it back
to you guys no so like yeah so like that
moment when you finally threw away your
boy clothes and went out fully as you
know a woman and what was that like for
you do you remember I just remember or
do you remember the first time the first
time okay so the first time I really
remember was probably when I was either
it was junior or senior year in high
school where I was kind of like you know
what I'm going to wear a skirt and just
live the fantasy at the time I'm just
like I'm I'm doing it I'm doing it but
back then when I was um in school
it was very accepted in my um in my high
school because there was a lot of ravers
during that time that's when I started
going to Raves and stuff and people at
Raves were very open-minded and where
did you grow up I grew up here kind of I
went to high school here okay so it was
here in Vegas that you're talking about
okay okay so this was in Vegas but um
cuz I prior to this I was in Hawaii but
I moved here like around High School
time so fresh from here so junior senior
year and I was like you know what [Β __Β ]
it I'm doing it so I wore a skirt to
school wait I got to stop you here yeah
did your you you were you living with
your mom and dad at the time your mom I
was living with my mom so okay did your
mom know that you were like trans or
like did she know that you were dressing
up did like what was the situation back
at home because it sounds like you're
living at home still and you're going to
high school but did she know that you
were like fully transition or what was
this like well when I would go to school
she wouldn't know she was already at
work so she didn't know at the time and
this was the time where I was just like
messaging other trans girls about like
hey how can I get hormones this was like
the the time it started but I went to
school on the skirt I went to I remember
the first tour I ever went to was
Forever 21 some really old man took me
at the time you know it was it was it
was giving we're talking about a lot
here there is so much to unravel
your who is this old
man yeah I met him on like a like a a a
dating site yeah and he was like really
into like not really fully trans but
like he was into like girls that were in
the beginning of their Journey
transitioning like he loved helping he
would take me to Forever 21 and pick out
clothes for me he was like he was like a
really good friend we did nothing like
sexual or anything but you just really
helped me but maybe cuz he was really
old and I was still like underage you
know but I never sensed him trying to
like be sexual with me he just wanted to
help me I mean he could have had
ulterior motives and maybe because you
were just so like not there in your head
like that it didn't happen but oh my God
definitely don't do that everyone um do
not talk to that old dirty man that
wants to take you to Hot Topic Forever
21 Forever 21 on
topic we're so punkish today that I'm
just giving like you know but okay so
now that we have that disclaimer out
there but so okay this old man uh is
taking you to Forever 2 any1 taking you
shopping and he takes you I guess
shopping for clothes and stuff and now
you go to high school wearing a skirt so
go ahead so I go to school and I
remember coming out at the time I I had
a Civic and it was red loud I'm like
okay that's me anyways people know you
had a car girl I didn't have a car I was
homeless at that time so I I just
remember like the jocks as soon as I I
went out they were just like screaming
like we know you're a boy you know so
that was another but I said let me just
just hold my head up high and just go
whatever you know how how passible do
you think you were at that
time you thought you felt like 100 or no
definitely not even like 20% so yeah so
you knew that you you didn't pass but
you still felt comfortable yeah yeah I
still I I mean I was able to do it but
at the time I just knew that as soon as
I got into like um into the school I
would see my friends so that's what I
was relying on for them to like back me
up you know I love that that support
system I feel like you definitely need
that when you're first transitioning and
you go out for the first time and if you
don't have anyone to support you that
definitely can be a very hard journey I
remember for
me like the first time I went out fully
so I I knew that I was going to
transition and um I had tried so hard to
not transition because I didn't want to
be trans if anything I wanted to be gay
because gay was so accepted and you know
and I was really cute and I was like
this is such a waste like to like
transition like this guy is so cute and
he got a big old and I was like like I
almost felt like I just wanted to leave
the body that I was in so I could donate
it to someone else oh we love a donation
I'm s I'm serious like I just felt like
it was just like such a waste to
transition this body that I was in you
know and but at the same time I had to
live my life for me so I was like oh
well you know rest in peace the old me
and I started transitioning in the sense
of I started getting laser hair removal
um before I transitioned so that way I
wouldn't have the stubble and all this
stuff cuz I feel like that's one of the
big Tail Signs like tell signs of like a
trans person um is like a beard like do
not be do not be the bearded women
people do not do not do that
um at least if you want to pass and
people not to call you he him and sir
and you know so yeah don't do that
unless you want that attention then
definitely go all the way and you know
get laser hair removal like I did um and
now I just like have a smooth face and I
don't have to worry about that you know
now in my transition but I started doing
that before I transitioned and I started
letting my hair grow out because girl my
hair was like this long all the way
around I had no hair and I had a goatee
and goate I know oh my God I'm Asian so
that's why I had no hair on my face oh
lucky [Β __Β ] so I had my laser hair
removal once my laser hair removal was
to a point where it was patchy I finally
said like and then my hair was probably
like an inch and a half like no maybe
like 2 Ines long it was like spiky I
remember I used to wear it spiky all the
way around oh my God if anybody has
pictures of me back in this era please
bring them out cuz I would die but make
a j for real so then um I would have
this long spiky hair and I was like okay
I'm ready to transition and I remember
that I lived in Sacramento at the time I
was I was in my 20s I was 21 when I like
went full-time so I was like older it it
was not like it happened for me like oh
since I was 16 I started transitioning
or anything like this even though yes I
transition back and forth like dressing
up in the sense you know in my younger
years it wasn't until 21 that I actually
transitioned so my hair was finally that
long and at the time for all them girls
out there with the extensions and the
all these different types of ways of in
inserting extensions into your head it
was not the it was not the thing at this
time at this time it was go to Sally's
and buy that black glue o
Sally Sally that's a whole another story
yeah so you got to tell me what you're
thinking but um it was that black glue
and it was the tracks of hair from
Sally's and I would like you know bathe
them in glue and I like would stick them
in my hair and you know mind you like my
hair is like probably like like like
this long like super short and I would
stick the extensions like I would glue
them to my scalp we're not even talking
my hair here I we're talking about my
scalp and I would have them and it would
be like so Sleek like this and then on
my last little piece I would put the
hair that was like an inch or two long
and I put it right on top and I put a
little bit of glue the bottom and I
would just be like this my hair looked
like this like it looked like this long
and then it was like slick
Slicker so then I glued all these
extensions in my in my head and I looked
at myself and I was like wow okay like I
I look good I probably looked a mess
dulu yeah she was dulu for sure but I
mean what else did I have at that time I
had been so tired of living my life as a
boy that I was like I just it's time to
transition so had all these extensions
in my hair and then I was going to go
out and I went to the grocery store and
I lived in downtown Sacramento where you
could walk everywhere so um I'm walking
around oh I put makeup on and I dressed
like like a prostitute pretty much
street walker total street walker um
because I thought I was sexy I thought
if I was sexy and like I was trying to
push my cleavage out like mind you I
didn't have any I didn't have any
operations remember putting the tape
right here and just like pushing it as
far as you can exactly so I did that and
I had whatever kind of cleavage I
thought I had and I put makeup on top
but it was just a huge tamale Mexican
mess walking through the streets of
Sacramento and I thought I look cute so
I remember walking into the grocery
store this is my trauma I was walking I
was getting stuff and this little boy
asked his mom mom why is he dressed just
like
that like kids can
clog kids can clog they say the darnest
things so I was so
embarrassed I was so embarrassed and
then my tuck was hurting and my I
couldn't breathe with all that tape was
it duct tape uh back then right oh yeah
duct tape so it was just a huge mess but
I didn't know how to dress my makeup
looked awful my you know head was full
of glue and these NY extensions but you
know that was a moment where it's so
hilarious for me to like now look back
at it and be like oh my God I thought I
looked good and obviously this happened
for a very long time like I was
embarrassed many times out in
public um by people like I was out it I
mean I I couldn't pass do you know what
I'm saying and this happened over and
over and over again and I feel like
that's something that somebody brand new
transitioning they should should not
worry that they're not passible enough
one day it'll come right like I mean how
long did it take for you to start
looking passable because you started you
know and you had that like high school
do you have any other memories of going
out and being like Oh my God I thought I
looked good but now looking back at it
like I did go on a family trip with me
fulltime I remember going to
Spain and uh it was a family trip and my
mom was telling me don't do it can you
change but I said no I don't want to I
don't want to do it so I remember going
to Frederick I had that the old man get
me like a water bra remember those water
bras that like put like four cup sizes
and it was just I don't know I've never
oh my gosh okay so Frederick's Hollywood
they would have um a water bra and it
would feel it was the best bra feeling I
feel like I had boobs and I always just
wear yeah I would wear a t-shirt that's
it and went a family trip and they were
like oh my
God but my mom I I knew my mom told my
family not to like really say anything
react like oh you look good so that's
another thing too it really just depends
your support system for your family you
know what was coming out to your mom
like you know when like at what point
did you have a conversation or did you
just start dressing up and you're like
this is what you get this is how it is
like first I mean obviously she was like
oh he's gay and then I said M then I
started dressing up and she kind of like
she was like what are you doing she she
didn't even know either she didn't even
know until I told her there's like such
thing as trans people mhm so after a
while then I said Mom I need to see a
doctor you know just to see what's going
on cuz I asked her can you get me
hormone she's like no I'm not getting
you hormones that's when you know how
the girls look for at Black Market yeah
but I mean that's all how it started but
there's a lot of backstory to that so
let's go back to Sally's cuz he said oh
Sally so what experience were what were
you getting at Sally's girl oh well with
Sally's I remember using the
bleach I remember one time I was just
like okay my hair is long enough and I
grew it how long like this long yeah it
was pretty much this long maybe a little
bit shorter but it was long enough and
this was during like the emo days where
even the girls had like you know the
bangs across I bleached it and I fell
asleep in my bathroom and my hair just
started coming off I remember I'm like
I'm not a woman anymore cuz I'm like all
that hard work that I I did to grow it
so that was my Trauma from Sally I see
wow oh my God you know I can totally
feel your pain on that like you know you
you feel like you attribute so that's
you
know the thing about when you first
start dressing up as a woman you know
you start going out as a woman I feel
like slowly because like for me I had my
like when I first transitioned I was
dressing like a total prostitute slot
like it was just not sexy like I feel
like what I'm wearing right now is sexy
I feel like it's a lot for some of y'all
but for me I feel like it's sexy it's
womenly you know and um but I dress like
this for myself now you know and I don't
feel like I do it so I can get like a
statement and and I'm like oh am I going
to look feminine am I going to look
passible like now I don't even care
right but when you first transition you
definitely pay more attention to
everything that you're wearing and I
feel like you have that episode where
you're overly showing everything oh
you're pushing everything you're like oh
my gosh I want to be more than a woman
and be overly extra the shortest micr
skirt use it as a belt you
know exactly exactly so it's like now
we're at this point where I mean look at
you like I've seen you dress total like
this or even more relaxed where you go
out and you're like oh you
know how much do you think your fashion
sense has changed from your first
transition right like your first day
going out and dressing up and then where
do you get your clothes like when you
first started dressing up you had
we don't all have this old man so I mean
where did where were you getting your
clothes from was it all coming from this
Source or no so in the beginning when I
started transitioning the the dressing
part was like I need to be like a woman
how do women dress you know like I need
to prove to other people that I am a
woman and I dress like a woman and I'm
sexy and I'm all these things what I
thought a woman is compared to how I am
now whereas I don't care I know who I am
I could look like whatever I could wear
a brown paper bag and still
feel yes I I qu you y I'm the same way
I'm like now I feel like my clothing is
more of a something that makes me feel
good versus something that I'm trying to
project yes exactly like now I'm
projecting who I want people to see me
as my clothing is me I wear a bra
because I'm a woman like now it's like
I've I have like tons of bras back to
when I was dancing and I don't wear them
I rarely wear bras right bre them let
them breathe but you know that's the
thing like for me like this topic it was
so important to talk about because I
feel like when you for me I started
getting my clothes from the Goodwill
believe it or not yeah I didn't have the
money like I didn't have the money and I
didn't have the old man yeah I don't
have the money I was too young yeah so
then it's just like slowly I started
like collecting more and more stuff and
I remember that back my drag days I
would wear the wig I just didn't like it
like back then I feel like there wasn't
wigs like today yeah they are that's why
like nowadays you don't even know who's
wearing a wig like am I wearing a wig
are you wearing a wig are you wearing a
wig but you know I feel like the young
people that are watching us and I want
them to know that the moment or even you
know the older people that are
transitioning like don't get so caught
up in um your transition and the
clothing that you're wearing the makeup
um and feel that that's all that there
is to be who you are because I feel like
my transition has taken me from wanting
to dress and look a certain part to just
being who I am for example now I have
all my operations and I wake up in the
morning and it's no I stopped chasing
the transition yeah like now I'm just
trying to look young
yeah but yeah you know now I I stop
chasing the and people don't confuse me
as a he him mhm and people don't look at
me weird when I use the women's restroom
or when I go into women's lock like
locker rooms or when I go into
Victoria's Secret to try on a bra like
nobody ever confuses me for being a male
and that's was my goal my goal was to to
become who I am today who I feel that I
am you know so for you do you feel that
you have reached that point in your
transition yeah um I felt that point
after I got my bottom surgery where
after that maybe it's because I don't
produce testosterone you know what I
mean so kind of like all those things
that phased me before it just kind of
dissipated but maybe that's my head
telling me that I felt like who I really
am inside you know I felt complete so I
didn't have anything else to prove to
anybody and I proved it to myself that I
could do it and here I
am yay oh my god well I'm so happy that
you know we got to talk about this uh
thank you guys so much and uh let us
know what you think like what do you
think about uh the whole transition
thing on transgenders like us and for
all you girls transitioning if if you
have any questions just go ahead and
reach out to us and uh put some comments
down below and let us know what we
missed in this uh going out for the
first time as trans or full-time women
all right bye guys
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