How to Win (At ANYTHING)
Summary
TLDRThis thought-provoking presentation delves into the principles of success, challenging the audience to redefine their approach to winning. The speaker emphasizes the importance of operationalizing desired traits into actionable steps, breaking complex concepts into manageable tasks that anyone can understand and execute. By inverting common perspectives, the speaker encourages the audience to focus on the activities that guarantee failure, then flip those to identify the actions that lead to success. Throughout the presentation, the speaker drives home the message that true learning occurs when the same conditions elicit new behaviors, and that winning is a continuous process of outlasting rather than a one-time achievement. With a blend of humor, storytelling, and practical advice, the speaker motivates the audience to take control of their destiny by making decisions they can fully control, ultimately becoming the future version of themselves they aspire to be.
Takeaways
- 😀 Focus on impressing your future self, not others around you. Compare yourself to the person you want to become.
- 🤔 Identify the actions that guarantee you will lose, and do the opposite. Break down these behaviors into specific, actionable steps.
- 🧠 Learning happens when you change your behavior in response to the same situation. Intelligence is the speed at which you change your behavior.
- 🎯 Confidence comes from proving to yourself that you can consistently perform a skill. Practice until it becomes second nature.
- 🌍 Your environment shapes your behavior and standards. Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be.
- 😩 Motivation comes from feeling deprived of something you want. Compare yourself to those who have what you desire to create a gap.
- 🔄 Your identity is determined by your repeated actions, not the other way around. Behave like the person you want to become, and the identity will follow.
- 💪 The best time to start a new habit is when you are busiest. If you can do it during the hardest times, it will stick.
- 🚀 Getting started is more important than perfection. Break tasks down into smaller, actionable steps until you understand how to execute them.
- 🏆 Hard times are opportunities to prove your resilience. Winning means outlasting challenges and consistently taking the right actions.
Q & A
What is the main purpose of the presentation?
-The main purpose of the presentation is to show the audience how to win and impress their future selves, not the people around them.
What are the five things the speaker covers in the presentation?
-The speaker covers five things: what to do to win, how to do it, why to do it, who you need to become to do it, and when to start.
How does the speaker define winning?
-The speaker defines winning as impressing the future version of yourself, not the people around you or on stage.
What is the process the speaker suggests for identifying what to do to win?
-The speaker suggests inverting the process, first identifying what would guarantee failure and then doing the opposite of those things to win.
How does the speaker explain learning and intelligence?
-The speaker defines learning as responding differently under the same conditions, and intelligence as the rate at which someone changes their behavior in the same situation.
What is the connection between confidence and proof?
-The speaker suggests that confidence comes from the past, not the present, and is domain-specific. Confidence increases as you get more proof through repeated practice of a skill or behavior.
What are the external and internal conditions that may prevent people from doing what they should?
-External conditions include opportunity hopping and not sticking with things long enough. Internal conditions involve comparing oneself to the wrong people and not creating enough internal motivation or deprivation.
How does the speaker explain the concept of becoming someone?
-The speaker suggests that becoming someone is not about identity but about doing the same things that the person you want to become would do, and that your identity will then follow from your actions.
What is the speaker's advice on when to start making changes?
-The speaker advises to start making changes immediately, as the moment you start doing the things that your future self would do, you become that person, even though it may take time for the proof to show up.
What is the speaker's final reminder to the audience?
-The speaker's final reminder is that if the audience does not change their behavior after attending the event, they have not learned, and that they should make a list of things they will do differently and change their behavior when they return to the same conditions.
Outlines
🌟 Introduction to Winning for Future You
The speaker introduces the concept of winning not by competing with others, but by impressing and surpassing the future version of oneself. The presentation aims to offer a new perspective on success, applicable across various aspects of life like health, relationships, and business. By focusing on what to do, how to do it, why it's important, who you need to become, and when to start, the speaker sets the stage for a comprehensive guide on achieving personal success.
🔄 The Power of Inversion in Achieving Success
The speaker discusses a strategy called 'verion' (likely a typo for 'inversion'), attributed to Albert Einstein and Charlie Munger, emphasizing its utility in problem-solving. By inverting the approach to focus on what not to do, the audience is encouraged to identify behaviors that guarantee failure. This list of negative behaviors, once identified, can be flipped to understand what actions should be taken to ensure success, thus making the process of achieving goals more tangible and actionable.
🔍 Breaking Down Success into Actionable Steps
This section delves into the importance of breaking down abstract goals into specific, actionable steps to facilitate understanding and execution. The speaker illustrates how varying skill levels impact one's ability to comprehend and execute tasks, stressing that tasks must be sufficiently detailed for individuals at all skill levels. The narrative underscores the significance of detail in instruction and the necessity of possessing pre-requisite skills for successful task completion.
🛠 Operationalizing Traits for Success
The speaker explores the concept of operationalizing desirable traits, such as being charismatic, by breaking them down into observable actions. This approach demystifies the process of acquiring seemingly intangible qualities and emphasizes that skills, including those contributing to one's charisma, can be learned and taught. The message is empowering: anyone can develop the traits needed for success by focusing on specific, measurable actions rather than abstract qualities.
🧠 Understanding Learning, Intelligence, and Confidence
Focusing on the foundational aspects of personal development, the speaker defines learning as the ability to change behavior in response to the same condition, and intelligence as the rate of this behavioral change. Confidence is described as a function of repeated successful actions, suggesting that mastery and self-assurance are built through practice. This segment highlights the intrinsic link between action, skill development, and self-perception.
🎯 External and Internal Conditions for Success
The speaker addresses both external conditions, like economic factors, and internal conditions, such as motivation and self-comparison, that influence success. Through discussing the stages of opportunity hopping and the psychological aspects of motivation, the narrative reveals how persistence and the right mindset are crucial for overcoming obstacles and achieving long-term success. The emphasis is on the importance of enduring through challenges and setting personal standards based on one's aspirations.
💡 Shifting Identity Through Action
This part argues against the common 'be, do, have' paradigm, suggesting that identity and success are primarily the results of actions (doing) rather than inherent qualities (being). By focusing on actionable behaviors and the outcomes they produce, individuals can shape their identities and achieve their goals. The speaker encourages the audience to embrace a pragmatic approach to personal development, where consistent action leads to the desired transformation.
⏰ The Right Time to Start is Now
The speaker tackles common excuses for inaction, such as waiting for the 'right' time, being too busy, or lacking resources. By debunking these excuses and advocating for immediate action regardless of circumstances, the narrative motivates individuals to start working towards their goals without delay. The message is clear: the best time to start is now, as procrastination and waiting for perfect conditions only hinder progress.
🚀 Embracing the Journey of Continuous Improvement
In the concluding segment, the speaker reiterates the importance of action in the pursuit of success, emphasizing that enduring hardships and staying committed to one's goals are part of the journey. By accepting challenges as opportunities for growth and focusing on the process rather than immediate outcomes, individuals can gradually become the best versions of themselves. The presentation ends with a powerful call to action, urging the audience to start implementing the discussed strategies in their lives.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡Winning
💡Inversion
💡Operationalization
💡Learning
💡Intelligence
💡Confidence
💡Deprivation
💡Identity
💡Opportunity
💡Hard
Highlights
Winning is about impressing your future self, not others around you.
The process to win can be applied to various areas: health, relationships, business, and more.
Five key steps to winning: What to do, how to do it, why to do it, who you need to become, and when to start.
To identify what not to do, invert your approach to highlight potential failures and then avoid them.
Our brains are better at identifying problems than solutions, a trait rooted in survival instincts.
Visualizing the least successful version of yourself can help clarify what actions to avoid.
Effective learning involves breaking down complex commands into simpler, actionable steps.
Skills acquisition is crucial: the more skilled you are, the more general commands you can successfully execute.
Operationalizing tasks by breaking them into observable actions enhances learning and execution.
Confidence comes from past achievements and is domain-specific, enhancing performance in familiar contexts.
Motivation is tied to perceived deprivation; feeling deprived in relation to your goals can drive ambition.
Changing who you compare yourself to can significantly impact your motivation levels.
Identity is shaped by consistent actions; you become what you repeatedly do.
The right time to start new behaviors is when you're busiest, ensuring the changes are sustainable.
If you don't change your behavior despite knowing what to do, you haven't truly learned.
Being successful in challenging times sets a strong foundation for future achievements.
Transcripts
what I want to do is show you how to win
and impress the only person that really
matters which is future you not the
person next to you not the person in
front of you not the person on stage not
your mom future you the point of this
presentation is to give you a different
way to think
about this process so you can make it
easier to
win and the nice thing is is that the
process I'm going to show you is how you
can win at anything and it works for
winning at Health relationships
advertising sales real estate business
investing in anything else where you
have to do things to get stuff
cool awesome all right so with that
being said let's begin how to
win so I'm going to cover five
things what to do how to do it why to do
it who you need to become to do it then
finally when to start so let's start
with number one said simply what do you
need to do to win AKA impress the future
version of you and the reason I Define
winning this way is that for those of
you guys who are at the top and you guys
know who you are you can't compare
yourself to everyone that you're already
better than and I say that from a
success like objective measurement
perspective not as a human being
everyone's a wonderful snowflake but you
can't compare yourself to people that
you're beating because you'll just get
complacent you know that for those you
guys who are the winners
here for those you guys not at the top
or who are on the
climb you can only control what you can
control and you only know what that is
and so there might be advantages or
disadvantages that you might have been
born with it also doesn't matter no one
cares the only people who like excuses
are the ones giving them right and so
let's start with an activity to prove to
you that you already know what not to do
so this is a process I call verion and I
use this a hilarious amount probably too
much and so this uh I think at least I
will attribute this to Albert Einstein
Charlie merer talks about it a lot um
invert always invert when you have a
tough problem and so I use this and we
use this as a as a very strong tool
because it's easier for our brains to
find problems and solutions so we had to
think earlier just now like let's think
of things for gratitude did anyone for a
split second be like [ __ ] right anyone
anyone else do that cuz I heard it
backstage and I was like right you're
about to be on stage that you could be
grateful for that right I was just
thinking about that but like but if I
said hey can you think of a problem I
could be like I can give you 20 right
now right right off the top of my head
is like my my knee kind of hurts a
little bit right like I can start giving
you problems really easily but that's
because we're programmed to survive not
Thrive right our brains are programmed
to find threats to make sure we live to
see another day not so that we enjoy to
day and so we actually have much
stronger problem finding skills than
solution finding and so what I want to
do is use our anxiety-driven threat
finding brain for something
good and so here's the activity I want
you to imagine the least successful
version of you
loser what does that person do or not do
to guarantee that you won't win how do
they guarantee that you lose all right
so shout some of these out just like
what does that person do to
lose Netflix okay I heard that
one drugs drugs okay we're going way
deeper and darker than I was
thinking he's like a heroin addiction
I'm like
okay yes
understood I thought you guys were going
to say something like
[Laughter]
[Applause]
this being impatient show up late be
unprepared not confident hair heroin we
can throw that up
there being transactional rather than
relational with your clients and
customers uh don't follow up someone's
like hey I've been thinking about
selling my house and you're like awesome
and then you just never call
them I've got a friend who uh might be
interested in your services and you're
like that's a damn
shame don't advertise don't ask for
referrals right these are probably some
things that would guarantee that you
won't be successful right and there's
probably more we could add this list and
so I would encourage you though if you
really think about this to really put
these things down because this is
genuinely the process that I think about
when I want to grow a business when I
want to get into a new Endeavor I think
how could I guarantee that I would lose
like what would I in the fewest moves I
could possibly make what are the fewest
things I could do to absolutely
guarantee that I lose and actually the
smaller the list you can make the more
potent those things are like if there's
just one thing that you can do to
guarantee that you lose that usually
becomes the north star of how you win
so how do we use these things that our
brains came up with to win right we
invert it we flip it and so this is what
that would look like so from patient
goes to sorry impatient goes to patient
showing late is to always being on time
being unprepared to being always
prepared or overprepared not confident
to confident transactional to relational
doesn't follow up to always follows up
to doesn't advertise to advertises
constantly to not asking for referrals
to always doing so quick story on this
uh one of our companies had one sales
guy who was outperforming the previous
top salesperson by 2X and so I wanted to
know what this guy was doing so I hopped
on the phone which he was like right and
so I was like what are you doing man and
uh he's like after I sell someone I just
asked if they want to bring somebody
else and I was like yeah and then I
looked at the sales director I was is
that not in the [ __ ] script
already he's like no no it is and I was
like why are we not enforcing it he was
like we we are
now and so simple [ __ ] right and so a
lot of you guys already know how to win
because you know how to
lose so flip it so after all that I
guess everybody here does know what to
do to win
right but maybe you just don't know how
to do it so let's talk about that so
most times we don't know we don't do
things because we haven't broen them
down to the most basic form all right
the more skilled you are the more
General a command can be and you can
follow it so someone can go shiron can
be like hey you want to jv on this
company with me and he'd be like can you
grow it and I would say sure very
general Command right can you grow this
business
sure if you go to a toddler and say grow
this business they're going to be like
what does that mean but the thing is is
that we're not so dissimilar for from
Toddlers it's just that our egos grew up
but not our abilities and so you might
say to the CEO go
advertise the less skilled you are the
more broken down the command must be in
order to follow it so if I were to tell
the toddler genuinely how to grow the
business it might start with hit the
button then wait until the light comes
on then click the blue circle then type
in facebook.com hit enter you guys
catching
this so what's the difference the level
of detail in the
instructions and this is why two people
can go through the same training or
event and get wildly different
results results come down to the number
of skills the person has and the number
of skills required to understand and
execute this is how Learning
Happens so skills for winter coming into
this event today might be they already
know how to email Market they already
have Charisma uh they know how to speak
they they know how to follow up they
have these skills the other person here
might have no skills and they could
attend this event and then nothing would
happen was it the event or was it the
person it's just that there are
requisites just like in college you've
got requisites to do something you have
to have former skills to advance to the
next
level and unfortunately and this really
applies to those of you who have teams
and if you are a teammate you can think
about this in Reverse if you have one
broken Link in the chain of commands or
instruction that someone does not
understand they get stuck and then they
do not complete the task and you're like
why are you so incompetent and it might
just be because they don't understand
one
step and so for example let's say that
you need you hear go advertise right
skilled guy says on
it the less skilled person says but how
now compare that to turn on your
computer do you think everybody in your
team can do that right so that means
that everybody here here can be
successful if you literally just break
it down to a level that you cannot fail
that you understand every step does that
make
sense that I can
do so you need to break things down to
their most basic level so that everyone
can learn them and when you do that you
make it easier for more skilled people
and you make it possible for Less
skilled
people and so for example I said earlier
on purpose be more charismatic right can
we agree that if someone's more
charismatic they might do better in this
field in general yeah cool what does
that
mean it means smile when people walk in
change emphasis and tality when you're
talking remember people's names ask
people about themselves nod multiple
times and then respond when people are
talking keep eye contact address
everyone in the room when you enter and
exit
we might then say that person's
charismatic but if someone says to you
be charismatic you might be like
okay but if someone said do these six
things do you think you could do that
yes you have to break it down and so the
this is the essence of good teaching and
training and learning how to learn will
make you better at teaching yourself and
then by extension your
team so here's the writer Downer if you
can learn it it is a skill and if it's a
skill you can teach it which is why I
wholeheartedly reject the concept of
people being born a certain way they
might have physical attributes that
Orient the environment to reinforce
certain
behaviors but if they became that way
they were taught to be that way either
formally or informally but they learned
that because it was reinforced at some
part in their lives which means right
now if you're like I'm not naturally
charismatic
neither are children they learn and if
you can Pock your ego you can
too which means that these traits
everyone says the best are born with are
simply buckets of smaller skills that we
group together into a single larger term
to save time when we're
communicating we we don't say hey
Johnny's such a good realtor because he
smiles when everyone walks in the door
he remembers everyone's name he changes
his tonality when when he speaks he's
you know he he always addresses everyone
ins inside and out when he enters and
exits we don't say that we just say he's
charismatic but that shorthand in
language is a source of confusion and
remember at the beginning I said this is
going to be Mr Miyagi thing don't worry
it'll come
back and the thing is is we know how to
teach toddlers but it's also how adults
learn our egos are just too sensitive to
allow it and so what I want you to do is
operationalize the list of actions that
we figured out together earlier right we
had this big list of all the ways that
you know you can lose we flip those into
how we can win and then we take those
words like be patient be charismatic
always be on time we say how do I
operationalize that what do I actually
do turn on the button turn the computer
on hit enter how do we do that and so if
you're like what does operationalize
mean explain using actions or behaviors
you can see with your
eyes someone being charismatic I can't
see with my eyes did they smile when
they walked in the door I can observe
that did they call someone by their name
I can observe that did they whatever the
other things on my list were
right no it's not feelings thoughts
intentions Impressions manifestations
affirmations or psychology none of those
things belong in
instructions why because you have no
idea what anyone else is
thinking all we know is that as a group
when people follow this process more
people buy and here's the cool part
that's all we need to know we don't need
to test the science of the psychology we
just know that when we greet people we
look them in the eyes we shake them we
remember their hand and then we and then
we follow up on this Cadence it works
that's it it's all we needed to know and
then do it and so we know that if we do
these things you get this
outcome and that makes learning and
teaching a lot simpler we deal with only
what we can measure and observe and I
promise you if you can look at the world
this way one 90% of the content you in
your newsfeed you will just be able to
ignore his noise cuz people are like
it's the manifestation of the internal
Trauma from child just just smile and
shake their [ __ ] hand like just stop
stop
stop so let me give you another example
and this is one that I actually
struggled with so I I spent a lot of my
time trying to operationalize words
because it just helps me understand the
world better because I don't feel like I
understand much at all and that's and I
just share that stuff in my content
because I share the stuff as I figure it
out or at least as I figure it out for
me and so I have always been somebody
who identified as being an impatient
person and I figured if I was going to
be an investor patience would probably
be a very important character trait to
have and I was like what how do I do
that if someone's like be patient you're
like now what right so what does that
mean so patience means figuring out what
to do in the
meantime that's it AKA doing anything
besides doing the thing you're avoiding
including doing nothing at all this is
why some of these dictionary definitions
are very difficult to actually do
anything with it's not the capacity to
accept or tolerate delay trouble
suffering without getting angry or
upset just figure out what to do in the
meantime that's being patient so quick
question who here has Investments this
isn't like a big Flex question okay cool
now right now provided you literally
aren't on Robin Hood selling your [ __ ]
you are being patient by just being here
like right now your Investments are
moving in One Direction or another and
you're being patient because you figured
out something to do in the
meantime huh not so
hard in other words right yeah I wrote
this there we
go which brings me to my next howo
binaries and continuums real quick if
you it's not that you are patient or not
and the reason I'm emphasizing this is
because sometimes it can feel
unrealistic to trying to team these
traits it's like well it's so hard for
me to be charismatic or you know not
softspoken or patient right but it's not
about being it or not being it the
question is how patient are you which
means that it's not a binary it's a
Continuum it's can I move myself slowly
in this direction by taking actions all
right which makes every skill you work
on
improvable and so every do everything
that we do to impress our future selves
is another proof point that we Act more
times than not in this
way until eventually we begin to
describe ourselves as patient or detail
oriented or
charismatic and this allows us to see
progress with these quote traits which
are really just buckets of larger skills
that we do shorthand with so we can
communicate and so now that we covered
that I can finally Define three terms
that I think will matter for everyone in
this room and cement the how learning
intelligence and
confidence so let's start with learning
learning simply means same condition new
Behavior so the same thing happens and
then you respond
differently that's learning so if I show
you a red
card and then I slap
you like wow that sucked and I put it
back in my pocket and then I bring out
my red card again and then I slap
you then I bring out my my red card
again you
duck you
learned the phone
rings hello no script phone
rings
hi phone
rings read the script you
learned same condition new Behavior
learning so please remember this because
I'm going to hit on this multiple times
throughout learning means same condition
to behavior if you're presented with the
same situation and you do not change how
you behave you have not
learned so that's learning
intelligence how fast you change what
you do in the same situation
intelligence is rate of learning speed
of
learning so Dumber
phone rings no script phone rings no
script phone rings no script never
changes
Dumber liing how complex this
is
smarter phone rings no script phone
rings read script changes faster
smarter everyone wants to think they're
smart but many of you will leave this
event go back to the same environment
and not change your
behavior so if that's you which one of
these two are you below
Dumber everyone's
like or
[Music]
smarter so you may not have ever thought
that you were smart but if you change
your behavior you can beat even the
quote smartest person which is why you
need to be Delta you need to be a
triangle change instead of an L7 weeny a
square right that's why triangles win
because we change so that's intelligence
which is simply rate of learning how
quickly you change your behavior under
the same
conditions so how can we tie that to
confidence cuz I think could we agree
that a realtor who's more confident
would probably do better in this field
than one who isn't
okay awesome the percentage likelihood
that's something happens in statistics
you have a confidence metric how
confident we are are we that something's
going to happen and confidence is domain
specific so you can be a confident
realtor and a not so confident parent
kind of
interesting so how do you increase your
confidence
percentage with
proof well how do you create proof you
do it a lot of
times and how can you make sure you have
a high percentage likelihood that the
script comes out the way you want it
with a client you do it in the exact
situation a lot of times because
confidence is domain specific there's
some people who practice their speech in
the mirror but when they get on stage
they freeze they're like but I practiced
this thing you didn't practice in front
of a crowd it becomes domain
specific you sound so certain here's how
you do that do it enough times that you
get bored of it so like you can complete
the sentences you can do it while you're
driving you can do it in any situation
you want because guess what that's when
you'll be performing the
script so here's a writer Downer
confidence comes from the past not the
present if your plan requires luck it's
a bad plan if you need to get lucky in
order to win in this game you will not
win so you can prepare and you do that
in the past before you need the skill
you dig the well before you're thirsty
so now that we covered the what you guys
all know the big list of things that you
should be
doing and you can break it down into an
operationalized little basic nugget of I
can actually do this with the how let's
talk about why you should but
aren't so I'm going to talk about two
things within my little y category
external conditions and internal
conditions so I'll start here that's
supposed to be like the economy I I
don't know if that the little visual
looks economic but I liked it okay
so here's why you might not be doing
it I call this the five stages of
opportunity hopping so you go from Step
One uninformed optimism you're like man
in this low interest rate environment my
cousin's making a killing in real
estate must be amazing I could do that
too then you hop in you go to step two
which is informed pessimism huh this is
not as easy as I originally thought
people aren't just coming to give me
their homes to
sell well G goly
and then you keep going you keep going
and you reach this third point where
you're like the valley of Despair what
is life is this really what I want to do
am I passionate about real
estate you know I really do love being a
family person you know I just and then
you start justifying reasons not to do
something right and this is what most
people do is they get to the valley of
Despair and then they jump because in
the beginning there you saw your cousin
who doing well at real and you're like
I'm going to jump in but you were doing
something before that that you were just
in the valy to spare of that thing and
so all you do is or not you but all many
people do is that they just uninformed
optimism informed pessimism value of
Despair uninformed optimism informed
pessimism value of Despair uninformed
optimism if it sounds repetitive some of
you have lived this thing 10 [ __ ]
times
and so many of you guys are here right
now it's a tougher climate than it was
24 months
ago but here's what it looks like when
it's right you go to stage four which is
informed optimism which is you know what
there is a process that when I got into
this I didn't understand but now I do
understand it and I've broken it down
into into actions that I can do and
perform on a regular basis and I have a
feedback cycle so that I can learn how
to get better and I will measure myself
on the progress that I do to the things
that I've committed
to I know how to
win and then you do that stuff and you
get to step five which is you win and
then you question why life is
meaningless to begin with but you know
whatever we'll get to that later
so so we get more for what we put in
when we stick with things you get
compounding returns when you stick with
things longer and so wealth is made
during the hard times because because
the largest percentage of the market
transfers to the few left
standing that guy work
out the more you do anything the better
you get at it and the more environments
you do it in the better you get at it in
more environments especially considering
a macre environment right now right so
the question is who would you trust more
to sell your house the agent who's been
through three recessions and never left
the profession rhym didn't mean to do
that but sounds that's
cool or the agent who juggles three
opportunities and hops in and out when
it's
convenient oh some of you were like
that's
me right and you wonder why you don't
win and so your clients feel that way
too and so even if the people who see
you right now aren't in the market
they're always deciding who they're
going to go with when they
do and so people including future you
will be watching what you do and how you
you act and so you need to do three
times the work for the same outcome
today but 10 times the eyes are on
you and so if you close deals when times
are hard they'll know you can close
their deal when times are
easy so tldr down times is when
Champions are made it's when skills are
sharpened if you can win now when the
economy turn turns around you will crush
I love this quote a smooth sea never
made a skilled sailor who here to be
[ __ ]
great then we should [ __ ] wish for
storms because if you want to be a
skilled sailor then you need you cannot
be great unless you have something to
test yourself against you can't claim
that you were loyal until someone if
you're married if until somebody comes
up to you and you say I'm good you can
just claim loyalty all day but until you
test it you don't have the skill because
you have no proof today these times are
are opportunities to give our ourselves
proof of who we really are and I think
that is one of the most motivating
things of hard times is that these are
the stories that you will someday tell
about
yourself so here's the writer down what
makes you extraordinary isn't what you
do it's how long you're willing to do it
for there's nothing extraordinary about
saying someone's name and shaking their
hand I mean it's great but is it
extraordinary I don't know but if you do
it every single time for the rest of
your life is that extraordinary
something as simple as that that yes it
is so it's not what you do it's how long
you're willing to do it for and so I
said I was going to talk about two
things external conditions did that now
I'm going to talk about this internal
conditions for why you're not doing
something that you should be doing so
where does motivation come
from I don't know right childhood trauma
I didn't get hugged enough whatever
right motivation comes from deprivation
let going to get dark for a second it'll
be
fun this person for example is very
motivated to
breathe you going to agree on that okay
next
Point unmotivated to have
sex they might be who knows some of you
guys are wild all right I don't want to
breathe all right calm down okay
so don't worry I'm moving on I know that
yeah yeah I'm moving on I'm moving on
so let me explain so when are you more
motivated to eat drink water
sleep when you're hungry thirsty and
tired that's when you're the most
motivated have you ever finished a big
meal and been like man I could go for
another Pizza probably
not have you drank a big gallon of water
and been like I don't want any more
fluids of course not because you're not
deprived and so when you're full you
don't want it anymore after you finish
Thanksgiving to dessert you're stuffed
are you still hungry no have you drink a
bunch of water do you want more no so
what does this have to do with
motivation to win and make money I told
you I'll wrap it I I'll move it right
because by this logic wouldn't all poor
people be motivated since they're
deprived of money right that would make
sense but we know that's not the case
because the people who make the most
money are the ones who keep wanting to
make more
huh so here's why you know when you're
tired hungry hry or thirsty you perceive
a
gap and your motivation is proportional
to your deprivation how much you don't
have right very hung like this guy is
much hungrier than the person who's just
like maybe I'll have dinner on the way
home and so here's why money motivation
is more complicated than hunger or
thirst or being sleepy with money
deprivation is not
physiological it's
psychological you only feel poor if you
perceive a large gap between Where You
Are
and where you really want to be so let
me show you this visually so let's say
you're at $5,000 a month in income and
your desire is to get to $10,000 a month
fair enough
cool now let's say this guy is doing a
million a month in income but he wants
to get to 10 million a month in
income relative to their goal one guy is
closer he's only half of his goal the
other guy's one tenth of his goal who's
more
deprived
huh hang around five people with 10
times the net worth that you have and
you'll feel poorer than you ever did
when you were poor around poorer people
than
you that'll be a horos family uh tongue
twister for my children um AKA changing
your minimum standard which I stole from
Shon the number one predictor of wealth
is an IQ gender race and this one
startled me it's the ZIP code you're
born
in kind of [ __ ] with you a little bit
you're like huh it's not about race it's
not about gender it's not even about IQ
it's just where you're
born which means it's the things that we
compare ourselves to because your
environment sets your standards if you
change the environment you change your
behavior this is why networks like this
are so valuable like you can basically
get someone to do anything if you Orient
the en arm in the right way I can get
everyone here to take off their clothes
if I make this 150° in this
room I
could you could if you change the
environment you can change Behavior if I
told you to to like hey everybody get
naked be like I'm good Alex fair enough
crank this thing to 150 people start
stripping I didn't need to say anything
the environment changed your behavior
more than I ever could
this is why the places like this and
networks like this are so
valuable and so if you want to feel more
motivated change who you compare
yourself
to our environment stretches the Gap and
you experience the deprivation rich
people are more deprived of money than
poor people because they compare
themselves to richer people than poor
people
do and so consider this extreme example
you've got the guy with a bag on his
back nothing else he needs I have
everything I need two I need
everything who's more
deprived so you might be like huh this
seems kind of dark is there a clean way
to make this comparison without focusing
on other people because that's what I
would be asking yes compare yourself to
the person you generally want to
become that's how you can create the
Gap so here's the writer Downer if you
want to change what you do change who
you compare yourself to
so we covered external conditions that
might be stopping you from the doing the
what opportunity hopping and sticking it
out right and now we cover the internal
conditions that might have preventing
been preventing you who you compare
yourself to and your internal levels of
motivation and
deprivation so now that we covered the
what and we covered the how we covered
the why internal and external now let's
talk about who you have to become to do
that so how do we become someone with
certain traits well contrary to popular
opinion and the Instagram people I don't
think it has to be do with becoming at
all so when we describe who someone is
what do we
do we describe how they behave and what
they
do being and identities become
descriptions of what we do and so little
Aristotle little ancient Greek we are
what we repeatedly
do and that's why I think this whole
thing that has been very popularized by
the the the the fluff people hopefully
no one else said this earlier on this
stage that would suck
um B do have is
BS so let me
explain we describe someone identity we
say hey he's honest he's hardworking
he's a real estate agent that's how we
describe
them so let's translate those he's
honest he States the facts he's
hardworking you complete tasks as fast
or faster than expectations you agree to
there a real estate agent someone who
represents buyers and or sellers in real
estate transactions all right that's the
identity but everything that we use to
describe the identity are things the
person
does note that being has 100% to do with
doing so if you want to be a certain
type of person then you need to do what
that certain type of person
does and when you do those certain
things then you get the results of those
actions which means you can summarize
the entire thing of B do have to just
do cuz by doing you be and by doing you
get just
do this makes the person that you want
to become the actions you take that we
later describe as identity 100% under
your control which I think is very
inspiring which is why one of my
favorite sayings of all time is here's a
writer Downer the work works on you more
than you work on
it and so I'll tell you a little story
so I was at Sephora with my
wife uh it's a makeup store um it's
where they sell paint for ladies anyways
so we're there and I'm standing against
the wall like this and Lila's doing
whatever and I see these two little
girls super excited and the lady in the
smok comes up to them and she's like
okay this is eyeliner and this is
lipstick I learned those terms um and
you need to start budging for this now
cuz they they're probably like this
height is agewise and they were so
excited and they're like because now
that you're grown up and your guys are
women like you have to start budgeting
for this every month because you need to
start spending it and I thought it was
such a cute little story and the girls
were so excited but she basically said
that with a new identity comes new
priorities you're going to shift how you
allocate resources based on the person
you want to become these girls want to
become women and so she said great you
need to change how
behave and so for many of you being
number one in winning simply comes down
to doing what the number one person does
or would do or the number one version of
yourself and then if you do those things
people will eventually describe you that
way when the evidence catches
up so we talked about now we've talked
about who you have to become which is
just a reminder of just doing what
future version of you does for a long
enough period that you would describe
yourself that way all right so finally
let's talk about the when you should
start so when do you start this stuff
because you might be like you know what
Alex this all sounds great the little
hand thing with the fingers cool but I'm
busy now it's not a good time maybe in
the
future so let's put it up there I think
there's three things about time that I
find interesting so you can have a
reason not to do something because
season-wise economically or timing in
the season of your life isn't good we
can think about hour by hour you're like
literally I don't have the time in the
day to get this stuff done that would
make me number one or you can use
something that I like to call the when
then fallacy so let's break it
down so if you're
busy that's actually the best time to
change your
behavior why because you guys want this
to last right if you're going to change
your behavior you want your behavior
change to last
correct then if you only wait until
you're not busy then you assume that you
will be not busy again in the future
because if it's contingent on you being
not busy then the moment you get busy
again you'll
stop so start when you're the busiest so
that when you get busy again you already
know how to do it and that you can stick
with it does that make sense cool did
anyone get one of their reasons crushed
great so if you're waiting till you're
less busy to start a new habit or
program it assumes that you get busy
again you'll stop if you want enduring
change the best time to start is when
you're busy learn how to make it work in
the worst condition and it'll stick in
the
best now is the best
time let's go hour by hour so I used to
say the same thing to my wife of like I
just don't have time to do all these
things and you know what she did she
grabbed my phone she looked at my time
usage and she was like huh here's four
hours every day you spend on not
work I guess I found you some
time anyone want to look at their phone
right now probably not
the other way to think about this is
like do you think that there's someone
on Earth who had less make it happen yes
of
course if they can you can too right
everyone is the same 24 hours it's about
how you allocate them and the nice thing
is is that if you're doing a lot of
stuff right now and you're not getting
to where you want to go you're doing the
wrong stuff and so the first thing when
you when you course correct is actually
elimination not addition cuz most of
stuff you're doing right now is not
working so then change what you do and
you'll have way more
time smart busy broke can't be all three
you got to pick two you can be smart and
busy but you won't be broke you can be
busy and broke but you're not smart you
can be smart and broke but you're not
busy super real talk if you're working
all the time and you're not making
progress you're doing the wrong stuff
right people who achieve goals faster
don't actually move faster they achieve
more with every step this is the basis
of Leverage they get more for what they
put in if you're not moving as fast as
you want you're doing the wrong stuff
okay so consider the alternative because
some of you are still like holding on to
this and you're like but I really don't
have time it's like okay you're right
and you'll never achieve the success you
want and it's not your
fault that feel
better right didn't think so so let's
assume that you've got the time and
you're spending it the wrong
way so that's number two let's go to the
one then FY always a fun one so this one
kept me stuck for years basically you
think when I have more time I'll do it
it's like saying I'll save money when I
have more money or like I'll get healthy
before I go to the hospital or I'll I'll
get a I'll go to the gym once I have a
six-pack you invert the sequence you're
getting this you're getting the order
wrong right you do the stuff now to get
the thing
later you do and then you get you don't
get in order to
do so that's number
three so when do you start answer the
moment you want to be the future version
of yourself AKA
when so when do you want to become the
future you or when do you become the
future you when you do what they do
because if identity is based in action
then the moment you start doing the
things that future you does you are that
person it just takes time for the proof
to show up but you are that person
already and that is enough for
you so we talked about what how when who
and when you should start so you're like
now what well [ __ ] I don't
know so the name of the presentation was
how to win remember the whole
intelligence and learning
thing the longer it takes you to start
doing the things you know what to do and
how to do the less intelligent you
are and whenever you get Stu stuck break
things down that you need to do into
continually smaller chunks until you
understand how to do them so whenever
you get stuck just think oh there are
terms or words here that I don't
understand I just need to break it down
more don't let your ego get involved if
you're like someone says you need to
advertise more you got to be like okay
what does that mean and you break it
down okay it just means post this many
okay I get that okay it means you have
to do 100 DMS okay I got that so the
reminder is you guys know how to win
better than I could ever tell you
so take the inverted list from earlier
write out the things that would
guarantee that you lose flip them to
what you would do to win and then break
down those terms into the action steps
of what it takes to be that trait or
have that
skill traits are just
skills and then practice it until it
becomes second
nature and then Chunk Up So in the
beginning you just have to talk about
doing 100 DMS once you know how to do
that you know how to do cold calls and
Outreach and door knocking and and ads
and all this stuff then you can just say
advertise you can chunk it up because
you have more
skills and then you measure your success
by whether you completed the actions
that would make it unreasonable that you
will not fail and then you succeed by
default so what would I have to do to
make it unreasonable that I don't become
number
one list those do those and you will get
there but you measure yourself on
whether you did the thing that's it yes
or no very simple and so all the
greatest games in life that I found
marriage health business you never
actually win you don't win at marriage
the point is to stay married you don't
win at Health the point is to stay
healthy you don't win at business the
point is to stay in
business and so it shifts the game from
winning to outlasting and that means
winning comes down to making a decision
that you can 100%
control which I think is
cool and so I'll tell you a little
story back in the day I pledged the
fraternity and
two weeks in my whole pledge class
revolted we were like this sucks this is
what we signed up for this is not fun in
parties and girls it's like yeah no
[ __ ] but it wasn't what our expectations
were so they sat us down they gave us a
pep talk and we got over it and then
when I was on the other side I actually
found out that every single pledge class
every single year would Revolt between
day 10 and day
16 every year and so I ended up becoming
president of that fraternity and it was
my turn to give that talk and so I go
into this this freshman dorm room
there's 20 of these guys they're
outnumbering me right they're like we
don't like you anymore like and so I
said I get it guys I said who here
thought that this would be
easy no one raised it like who here
thought it would be hard they raised
their hands I was like this right now I
was like this is what heart feels like
you just didn't know what heart felt
like this is what it feels like make
sense we just just reset reality this is
what hard feels like you said you expect
it to be hard this is
hard they all came back and so right now
you may be at that point in your career
and the Heart can be different for
different people it might be stuck at a
certain level of income it might be just
getting started it might be being number
two and wanting to be number one
everyone's hard's different but this is
what it feels like there's a level of
uncertainty of not knowing whether your
actions are going to yield the results
that you want but doing them anyways not
knowing if you're going to get credit
from the market or on your on your on
your check at the end of the month and
whether this is really the thing that
you want to do for the rest of your life
everyone thinks these questions but the
people who win just continue to do the
actions regardless which is why I say
focus on the activities not on the not
on the inside your ears you can feel
terrible and still
win so that's what hard feels like so
this is one of my favorite Chinese
Proverbs everything must be hard before
it can be
easy what makes things hard is in
complexity it's consistent consy as
boring as it gets sometimes you just
have to keep doing it before you get
anything back hard times or
opportunities to give yourself proof
that even this couldn't stop
you you're going to lose sleep you'll
doubt whether it'll work you'll stress
to make ends meet you won't finish your
to-do list you'll wonder if you made the
right call and you'll have no way to
know for years but this is what hard
feels like and this is what you signed
up for and that's what makes it worth it
and that is
okay so in closing said a little Mr
Miyagi
everyone here knows what to do to
win do all those things that you wrote
down make them
positive cool figure out those ways to
lose and do the
opposite you know how to do it remember
you take those things chunk them
down break it down so small that anyone
could do it even a child you know why
you should be doing it you have these
opportunities that keep presenting
themselves you keep looking at shiny
objects but we get more for what we put
in when we stick with
things wealth is made during the hard
times the few people left standing get
the most of it you create Motivation by
changing your environment and who you
compare yourself to so you know why you
should be doing it because you get
outsized returns for sticking to
things and you already know how to
become the person you can
win how do we do
that by
doing do who means do it's the easiest
thing who do I want to become what does
that person do I'll do
that and you know when you should
start which is if it's not not you're
really busy right now in this season
it's the best time to start if you don't
have time you're spending it on the
wrong stuff and if you think you need to
get in order to do you have it
backwards so when do you
start the moment you want to be the
first future version of
you so here's my final reminder if you
take
one thing from this
presentation if you do not change you
did not
learn and everyone here has things that
they've written down from many of the
talks of things that you want to do or
want to think about or whatever I would
encourage you to make that a list of
things that you will do and then when
you go back to the same condition your
same home your same house your same
Market your same whatever you change
your behavior and then that will show
that you learned and you took one step
to becoming the person that you
ultimately want to be thank you
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