i lost friends because of my glow up (post-glow up reactions)

Summary

The video script discusses the profound impact of a 'glow up' on personal experiences and societal treatment. The speaker, having transformed from being perceived as unattractive to attractive, shares the mixed reactions from strangers, friends, and family, highlighting the shift in basic respect to superficial attention. The narrative delves into the darker side of beauty standards, the financial and social implications, and the emotional toll of changing perceptions. It calls for self-improvement not for validation but for personal growth, urging viewers to value internal qualities over external appearances.

Takeaways

• 🌟 The experience of a 'glow up' can lead to a stark contrast in how individuals are treated by society, often resulting in both positive and negative changes in social interactions.
• 🎥 Popular media and online trends, such as shows like 'Queer Eye' and social media platforms like TikTok and Reddit, often celebrate and encourage the concept of a 'glow up'.
• 😔 The change in treatment after a 'glow up' is not always positive, with some individuals experiencing a loss of basic respect they previously received, highlighting the complexity of societal perceptions.
• 💔 The speaker documents personal experiences with the difference in treatment before and after their own 'glow up', emphasizing the emotional impact of these changes.
• 🤔 The script suggests that societal beauty standards can be harmful, affecting not only self-perception but also how individuals are treated in various aspects of life, including financially.
• 💰 There is a clear indication that physical appearance can influence financial outcomes, as exemplified by the story of a server whose tips doubled after a 'glow up'.
• 😣 The negative self-perception and lack of self-care during a 'glow down' can lead to a downward spiral affecting both mental health and social interactions.
• 🚫 The speaker advocates for self-improvement and self-care, rejecting the idea that one should accept themselves without striving for better health and well-being.
• 🤐 The change in appearance can lead to different types of negative reactions from people who already knew the individual, including jealousy, snide comments, and even loss of friendships.
• 👑 The 'pretty privilege' concept is discussed, suggesting that those who benefit from it can use their position to help others and challenge societal beauty standards from within.
• 💬 The power of words and self-perception is emphasized, with the speaker urging viewers to be mindful of the language they use about themselves and others, as it shapes how they are perceived.

Q & A

What is the term 'glow up' referring to in the context of the script?

In the script, 'glow up' refers to a significant transformation, often in terms of physical appearance, that leads to being perceived as more attractive by others.

How does the script describe the change in treatment after a person experiences a 'glow up'?

The script describes a mixed bag of reactions, with increased attention and positive treatment from strangers but sometimes negative or backhanded comments from friends and acquaintances who may feel threatened or insecure.

What is the 'ugly duckling syndrome' mentioned in the script?

The 'ugly duckling syndrome' is a term used in the script to describe the expectation that people will be treated much better once they become attractive, similar to the fairy tale where the ugly duckling turns into a beautiful swan.

What impact does the script suggest a 'glow up' can have on financial aspects, such as in the service industry?

The script suggests that a 'glow up' can lead to increased financial benefits, especially in the service industry, where attractive individuals may receive more tips, sometimes two to three times more than before.

How does the script address the issue of self-care and its relation to self-improvement?

The script emphasizes the importance of self-care as a part of self-improvement, stating that taking care of one's appearance and health can lead to better treatment from society and is a step towards success.

What negative feedback loop is described in the script related to the speaker's past?

The negative feedback loop described in the script involves the speaker feeling bad about themselves, leading to poor eating habits, lack of self-care, and a downward spiral in mental and physical health, which in turn affected how others perceived and treated them.

How does the script describe the treatment of the speaker by men before and after their 'glow up'?

Before the 'glow up', the script describes the speaker as being largely ignored by men, feeling like an inconvenience. After the 'glow up', the speaker notes an increase in attention from men, but also mentions the discomfort of unwanted stares and advances.

What is the term 'negging' as used in the script?

In the script, 'negging' refers to backhanded compliments that are intended to undermine or make the recipient feel worse, often used by those who feel threatened by the recipient's improvement or success.

How does the script suggest using 'pretty privilege' to help others?

The script suggests using 'pretty privilege' to advocate for others who may be overlooked due to their appearance, such as helping a colleague get recognition at work or ensuring that friends receive equal treatment in social situations.

What is the script's final message regarding the importance of appearance and self-worth?

The script concludes that while appearance can influence how one is treated, it is the least interesting part of a person and should not be the focus of self-worth. It encourages viewers to decentralize appearance and not let others' opinions define them.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 Personal Transformation and Society's Reaction

The speaker discusses their personal experience with a 'glow up', a significant positive change in their appearance and lifestyle. They describe the stark contrast in how they were treated before and after their transformation, noting a shift from a lack of basic respect to receiving a lot of attention. The speaker reflects on the mixed reactions from strangers, friends, and family, and how societal perceptions and treatment can change dramatically based on physical attractiveness. They also mention the impact of body positivity and fat acceptance movements, sharing anecdotes like a server whose tips doubled after a glow up. The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-improvement, and the realization that societal treatment is often superficial and linked to appearance.

05:01

😔 The Struggles and Irony of Being Overlooked

This paragraph delves into the irony of the speaker's college years, a time typically associated with physical attractiveness, but for them, it was marked by being overweight and unattractive, especially in the eyes of college-age men. The speaker recounts the lack of interaction and the feeling of invisibility, contrasting with the experiences of their friends who received attention. They discuss the impact of these experiences on their self-worth and views on dating. The speaker also touches on the idea of self-acceptance versus the pursuit of change, highlighting the superficial nature of societal treatment and the importance of self-improvement for personal growth rather than seeking external validation.

10:02

🤔 The Complex Dynamics of Change and Perception

The speaker explores the complex reactions from acquaintances and friends after their physical transformation. While some people were supportive, others reacted with jealousy, snide comments, and even attempts to undermine the speaker's self-esteem. The paragraph highlights the speaker's realization that some relationships were based on superficial factors and that their glow up made them a mirror reflecting others' insecurities. The speaker also discusses the loss of friends due to their transformation and the decision to focus on self-improvement rather than engaging in competition or seeking validation from those who do not have their best interests at heart.

15:03

👑 Embracing Change and Advocating for a Better Society

In the final paragraph, the speaker reflects on the isolation and loneliness they initially felt after their transformation but ultimately comes to terms with the fact that they are not the problem. They advocate for self-care and the importance of speaking positively about oneself and others. The speaker looks forward to making new friends in supportive circles and encourages others to enjoy their 'pretty privilege' while also using it to help those who are not as fortunate. They stress the importance of focusing on internal qualities over external appearance and the need to challenge superficial societal standards. The speaker concludes by urging viewers to disregard unkind opinions and to use their influence for good, promoting a more equitable and understanding society.

Keywords

💡Glow up

A 'glow up' refers to a significant transformation or improvement in one's appearance, often through personal grooming, fitness, or style changes. In the video, the term is central to the narrative as the speaker discusses the profound impact this change has had on how they are perceived and treated by society, highlighting the stark contrast between their experiences before and after their transformation.

💡Ugly duckling syndrome

The 'ugly duckling syndrome' is a term derived from the fairy tale where an ugly duckling grows up to become a beautiful swan, symbolizing personal transformation and growth. In the context of the video, it is used to illustrate the societal expectation that people will be treated better once they become more attractive, which the speaker challenges by sharing their personal experiences.

💡Self-care

Self-care encompasses the practices and habits individuals engage in to maintain their mental, emotional, and physical health. The speaker advocates for self-care as a critical component of personal improvement and success, emphasizing that it is not just about looking better but also about taking better care of oneself, which can indirectly influence one's life quality.

💡Pretty privilege

'Pretty privilege' refers to the preferential treatment or advantages that attractive individuals may receive in various social and professional contexts. The video discusses this concept, noting how the speaker's life changed after their 'glow up,' including receiving more attention and better treatment, which they find bittersweet due to the superficial nature of these changes.

💡Body positivity

Body positivity is a social movement that encourages individuals to accept and appreciate their bodies, regardless of societal standards of beauty. The speaker expresses a critical view of body positivity, arguing that it can be harmful when it leads to self-acceptance without self-improvement, and challenges the notion that external validation is unimportant.

💡Fat acceptance

Fat acceptance is similar to body positivity, focusing specifically on ending size discrimination and promoting self-acceptance for larger individuals. The video script mentions this concept as something the speaker strongly disagrees with, believing that it can be detrimental to personal health and well-being, and can lead to a lack of motivation for self-improvement.

💡Glow down

A 'glow down' is the opposite of a 'glow up,' where an individual's appearance or presentation declines, often due to neglect or personal struggles. The speaker shares their experiences with 'glowing down,' explaining how it was a result of not taking care of themselves during difficult times, and how it contrasts with the positive changes they made during their 'glow up.'

💡Insecurity

Insecurity refers to feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, and anxiety about one's self-worth. The video discusses how the speaker's transformation affected their own insecurities and how they perceive others' reactions to their appearance, noting that projecting insecurities onto others can be harmful and that self-improvement can help in overcoming these feelings.

💡Social interaction

Social interaction involves the communication and relationships between individuals within society. The video script highlights how the speaker's social interactions changed after their 'glow up,' with increased attention and different types of treatment from both strangers and acquaintances, illustrating the complex dynamics of social perception and behavior.

💡Self-worth

Self-worth is the intrinsic value and esteem one holds for oneself, independent of external validation. The speaker reflects on how their 'glow up' affected their self-worth, noting that while external validation increased, it was crucial to maintain a sense of self-worth that is not solely based on appearance or the opinions of others.

💡Toxicity

Toxicity in this context refers to harmful or negative influences, particularly in relationships. The video describes how the speaker's transformation led to the realization that some of their relationships were toxic, as friends reacted negatively to their improved appearance, which ultimately led to the speaker distancing themselves from such individuals.

Highlights

The experience of a 'glow up' can lead to a stark realization of how one's attractiveness affects social interactions and self-perception.

A significant change in appearance can result in a dramatic shift in the level of attention and respect received from others.

Media and online trends, such as TV shows like 'Queer Eye' and platforms like TikTok, celebrate and popularize the concept of a 'glow up'.

The contrast in treatment before and after a 'glow up' can be emotionally complex, affecting relationships with both strangers and acquaintances.

The term 'ugly' is used as an adjective to document personal experiences without intent to insult.

The importance of self-care is emphasized as a means to improve both one's physical appearance and mental well-being.

The pursuit of success often intertwines with the desire to improve one's appearance and the societal benefits that come with it.

Body positivity and fat acceptance movements are critiqued for potentially causing harm by not addressing the real-world consequences of appearance.

Anecdotal evidence suggests that attractiveness can significantly impact financial outcomes, such as tips for service industry workers.

The narrator's personal 'glow up' journey involved overcoming negative self-image and developing healthier habits and routines.

The change in appearance led to a sense of alienation from previous social circles and a reevaluation of what constitutes true friendship.

The newfound attention after a 'glow up' can be both flattering and uncomfortable, with increased leering and unwanted advances.

Some acquaintances and friends may react negatively to a 'glow up', manifesting in jealousy or backhanded compliments.

The narrator advocates for using 'pretty privilege' to uplift and support others who may not receive the same benefits from society.

The video concludes with a message that external beauty is fleeting and should not be the sole focus of self-worth or identity.

A call to action for viewers to share their own experiences with 'glow ups' and societal reactions in the comments section.

Transcripts

The change up

people do after you

glow up is totally wild.

You know how some people will

go through a massive glow up,

then they'll realize

how differently

they have been treated

now that they're attractive.

I feel that times like a thousand.

No one could have prepared me

for what

it's like going from a medium

ugly guy to now.

Like now I get a lot of attention,

but all that basic respect

that I got as a guy, gone.

You've seen it in

movies, TV shows,

TED talks,

the ugly duckling syndrome,

the fairy tale expectation

is that everyone magically treats

you much better than before

when you were ugly.

There are many popular

TV shows

celebrating the glow up

like Extreme

Makeover, Queer

Eye and glowing up is a huge online

trend, especially popular on

TikTok and Reddit.

The truth is the way you're treated

before versus

after isn't always roses.

It's a mixed bag,

especially when

it comes to strangers

versus friends and family.

As always, with these videos

I want to preface a few things I'm

not insulting anyone

when I'm saying the word ugly.

I'm using it as an adjective.

In fact,

I'm actually documenting

my personal experience

with the difference of treatment

with different groups of people

before versus after my glow up.

There have been

multiple times in my life

when I glowed up

and also when I looked down.

The glow down,

honestly, is not by choice.

It's more like I let myself go.

And those points of my life

were the lowest points of my life,

which is why I advocate self-care

so much.

The pursuit of success

of becoming better

also involves looking better

and taking care of yourself more.

And I want to see people

become successful.

I'm here to help you gain

more self-awareness, regardless

of how you feel about

what people think about you.

Because it does not affect

how other people perceive you.

I know for a fact

that you create your own reality,

but when you have to interact

with society,

sometimes you need to take

those rose tinted glasses off

and get a reality check

because things like body

positivity and fat acceptance

is actually harming people.

And I will die on that hill.

I saw on Reddit of this girl

who works as a server,

and ever since she had a glow up,

her tips literally doubled.

Which, by the way,

if you haven't seen my video,

about how looks matter,

especially if you're fat.

Go watch it.

Because I literally talk

about how society penalizes you

when you're fat,

especially financially.

It literally affects

how much you make.

And this becomes super obvious

when you're pretty

and you work in the service

industry,

you literally will get like 2

to 3 times more tips

and sometimes there's no way

to be subjective

about the whole thing.

And it is what it is.

Overall

the treatment that I received

when I glow up changed dramatically.

I feel like a different person

in a lot of ways.

The hardest thing for me to accept

is that society 100%

sees me as a different person

now compared to where I was before,

and it actually hurts me

to realize how much my appearance

before had actually affected my life

in ways

I couldn't

even see when I was that person.

Especially financially,

especially socially.

I really hope that more people

can open their eyes and see things

for what they really are.

So when I was at my worst,

I was about 50 pounds fatter.

I had terrible skin issues

because I was eating like s_.

I wasn't drinking enough water,

I wasn't taking care of myself,

wasn’t washing my face correctly.

I didn't have

a very good skincare routine

and sometimes I even wear

a ton of makeup to hide my issues,

I would even dress

like I didn't

care about my body shape

rather than dress for my body type.

In turn, my weight

affected my facial features a lot.

Also,

my hair had been bleached for years,

which made it super

fried and brittle.

And not only that,

when you have super bleached

platinum hair

like you can't even grow it out

because it's like impossible.

You can't have long hair like this.

I also had like a bad nail

chewing habit

which affected my jawline,

and then the bad nails

I would have to like hide

with gel nails,

which actually made my nail health

even worse and even more brittle.

And I was stressed.

I was depressed,

which made me not want to eat right.

I wanted to turn to comfort food

so you can see how this is like

a negative feedback loop.

And I felt so bad about myself,

which affected

how other people felt about me.

Because I can tell you this

when I felt bad about myself,

I would project my insecurities

on other people, which was terrible.

Literally.

I never want to go

back to that point

and never want to put anybody down

like it's the worst.

Like I was almost spiraling.

Actually. No, I was spiraling.

Let's talk about how men treated me

while I was fat.

I wouldn't know

because they didn't interact

with me.

Here is a picture of me

from four years ago

when I was plus sized

throughout my entire college career.

I was in a plus size body.

It's pretty ironic

because a lot of people's

college years

are their hottest years.

I think I look

amazing all the goddamn time,

but in the general public I was fat,

which made me unattractive,

especially to college age men

when I tell you

they didn't interact with me.

I'm not joking.

At that point in my life,

I would feel lucky

if a man even looked

in my direction.

Typically,

they would just turn their heads

and pretend like I didn't exist.

Coming of age as a plus sized woman

and seeing all of your friends

be flirted and head on by men

and in turn being treated

like a second class citizen.

To me,

I think

that experience

has really impacted

how I view my self-worth and dating.

I don't know.

There's just so much

I can say

on the subject point

being when you're fat, men

will not look in your direction

until they're fat too.

In the past,

I felt like I was an inconvenience

and I felt awkward

in most places that I went.

And when I was at my fattest,

sometimes I feel like I would

even get like rude stares in public.

Or maybe not,

but like I would at least

like I would be imagining it.

And I felt uncomfortable literally

doing literally anything.

My existence felt

shadowed by my appearance,

if that makes any sense to you.

And then I realized

that there are two paths

from here on out

that you can take here

you can either accept yourself

for who you are,

but then you're going to continue

living life on hard mode

because nothing's going to change

even if you accept yourself

like you're still going to feel bad

and maybe you might feel

a little better,

but it's just kind of a Band-Aid.

It's not a permanent solution,

and you're still going to be living

in that uncomfortable existence,

or you can assert the power

that you have to change things

about you.

And I think that

the attention you get

can be very addictive.

For someone who grew up ugly.

People actually

treat me

like an actual person

with thoughts and feelings

now, not just the comic relief girl,

not just the chubby girl, like,

you know what was bad?

I would literally, literally catch

my bosses, laugh

at me

like they were literally like

get together and make fun of me.

Like, I swear to God,

sometimes I get nightmares

thinking back on like them.

Like finding a really unflattering

photo of me

and, like, laughing at me.

And this one thing

that happened to me

that was super eye opening. Okay.

There was one time

when I was introduced to this,

kind of famous and really beautiful

singer backstage,

she straight up ignored me.

Imagine

being introduced to someone like,

Hey, so-and-so, this is so-and-so.

And, they wouldn't even

look at you or say a word to you.

It was super hurtful.

And then I look back

and I Googled the singer and saw

that, you know,

she wasn't all that pretty

when she started.

And I'm like, b_,

you were there too.

Like, Why are you so mean?

Oh, anyway,

it's so bizarre, the

difference in treatment

that I get that

I feel sorry for my old self

and also for people

who are still struggling, especially

especially for stubborn

people who don't want

to improve themselves.

Like, sure,

you can say that

like, oh,

I reject everything,

I reject beauty standards,

but honestly

you're subjugated by it.

Why do you want to live life

on hard mode I don't understand.

Like, obviously

it doesn't sit

right to me

that people treat you differently,

like just based on your looks.

Nobody deserves that it’s terrible.

Which is why now that I glowed up,

I swear to God,

I swore to myself that,

I would never treat anyone

like that.

Now

on new people.

When I first meet someone new,

the effect was extremely positive

to the point where I found it

so disturbing.

It actually caused me

a bit of an existential crisis.

I'm not talking about

like Hollywood style stuff,

crashing cars and like people

falling over backwards, rich guys

coming to me with free gifts

and stuff and like,

not really,

I'm just being treated

like an inherently good

and impressive person.

And even if I screwed up somewhere

or if there's rumors about me

or whatever,

when you're prettier, people

tend to assume the best of you,

even if you're not inherently

or necessarily

a good or a kind person.

People in general

just go a lot nicer.

Strangers would smile at me.

I would get treated

nice guys

would open the door for me.

I get more free stuff,

people offering to do things for me

even when I don't need to ask.

But the one thing I

did find annoying is that like men

would literally

trying to hit on you,

everywhere you go or stare at you

like a leering way.

And it's not really flattering

always.

And it's like,

no offense, it's

usually not the kind of guys

you want anyway, but it's true.

You get more leering

and more creepiness.

However, on people

who I already know,

I felt that

the results were almost opposite.

On most people.

It did not change anything,

but some people

it was kind of extreme.

Dang, Jessica.

Jessica, you look so cool.

What is everyone

freaking out about Jessica

got a glow up.

No way, Jessica.

Oh, my gosh.

You look so pretty.

No she doesn’t.

Oh, hey, Jessica, girlie!

Come sit with me and Lilly.

Hey, you, um.

Did you get eyelash extensions?

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I could tell.

Maybe next time,

you should tell your lash technician

to do a more natural set

because you don't want people

to know you have eyelash extensions.

It's.

It's just not a cute look, Chloe.

She looks good.

Yeah, she may look good, but

it's all makeup.

Here, use one of these. Jessica. No.

Use one of these.

Also like another little tip

is if you're going to wear makeup,

you should

probably clear your acne first

because you'll look really cakey

and bumpy.

No offense, I just want to help you.

I mean, I know

you're not like, as lucky as me

and Lilly to be naturally beautiful,

but that's what boys like.

They don't like catfishes.

I noticed that after losing weight,

which had a huge impact on the way

it affected

my facial features, people

that I used to be close

to, especially girlfriends,

actually treat me worse.

I have to say, most people

no difference in treatment.

On the people who treated me worse.

It's like really weird

because my personality

hasn't changed.

I'm still the same person

on the inside.

I would get snide comments

or I would get negging,

which is kind of like

backhanded compliments.

And it's usually done

to make me feel worse.

Like they would say Oh,

you look thin today.

Like, did you skip breakfast?

Or or they would ask me

like how I would have

all of the energy to like do

all of the things I did.

Some of them

like to make jabs at me,

especially in regard

to my weight

loss or that I'm being vain

or that my eating disorder is bad.

They're almost purposely

trying to hurt me,

or that I think I'm so perfect,

which I don't.

And they always say something

along the lines of,

Oh, where did you get that

new wardrobe from

How did you have all that money

to buy Like nice shoes

and nice bags?

But honestly, I'm at the point

where I don't care anymore.

I literally don't care anymore

about what they think of me.

And if they don't want

the best for me,

they're out of my life.

I literally lost friends

because of my glow up.

I'm honestly to focus on myself,

to care about competition.

Maybe they view me as a competition,

but I don't.

There's zero

competition between me

and my friends,

and I wish that some of them

see this.

The only true

competition is yourself.

Everything else is not real.

It's actually a projection

of their own insecurity.

I actually lost one of

my best friends

because she got

jealous of how my glow up

made her feel.

It was almost like

I'm like a mirror to them

and not a friend.

Sometimes.

Let me tell you, like,

some people think that glowing up

makes you

like a perfect person

or and honestly,

that's kind of like

what self-improvement is about.

It's well, it's not always

about being perfect,

but it's about becoming

a better person.

Even though on the inside

I'm like the sort of

same chaotic person

that I used to be,

but I just learned to develop

better systems to work on things,

and I have better habits

now and better discipline

and better systems of maintenance.

But my exterior

looks have permanently changed

the way people think of me

and how people feel about me.

I'm literally

no longer the person

they think they knew.

Maybe it's because to them

I'm no longer the ugly friend.

I'm no longer

the fat friend, I'm

no longer the lazy,

less successful

sidekick And literally,

the fact that I have like more main

character energy

now like literally

would piss them off

and now me

realizing what I've been to them all

along is a very sad and very rude

wake up call. Wow.

So many of these people

are actually not my friends.

They only keep me around

because I make them look good.

And now I'm

catching up in the physical ratings.

They feel threatened by me

literally, some of my acquaintances

actually stop giving me compliments

whenever I see them.

Like in the past,

I will usually get things like,

Oh, your hair looks good today.

Like, I love your

your nails and like,

I like your outfit today.

These days

I get more like up and down looks

and like more like double takes,

especially when they think

I'm not looking.

They would, like,

literally stare at me.

It makes me so uncomfortable.

Okay, this other thing

that's weird with acquaintances,

some of them have actually started

idealizing me

and putting me on the pedestal,

which is really weird

because I've never gotten

that from them before

and I'm still the same person.

I just look better now.

I still have to say, though, that

majority of people didn't

have a reaction.

Maybe they look past the looks

and they actually see me

for my personality and who I am.

But sometimes no

reaction is also a reaction.

Maybe they felt like bringing

things up like weight

loss is kind of a sensitive topic,

which I understand

maybe they felt like it was rude.

Most importantly though,

like my own self

improvements for myself

is not for them and who cares?

I'm not going to lie.

When it first happened to me

it was really quite

isolating and lonely

and I feel bad about it.

But then

I realized that

I wasn't the problem.

When you take care of yourself

and you glow

up, you're

not in any way

obligated to explain yourself

to anybody

or to make people feel better

by putting yourself down.

Who are they to make you feel

any type of way?

Words are very powerful.

They are magical.

They're like spells.

You speak into existence.

You should be very careful

about how you speak to yourself

and also to other people

about yourself.

It literally forms

their whole perception of you.

Honestly, with my new lifestyle,

my new habits, I'm definitely

looking forward

to making new friends

and being in more supportive

circles of people

who actually get it.

People

who have the same interests me,

who want to better themselves

rather than hang out

with toxic people

who are not worth my time

and energy these days,

I literally say

thank you universe

and like literally thoroughly

enjoy all of my pretty privilege.

And I hope you feel comfortable

owning it

and taking advantage of it too.

And take advantage of it

for as long as you can,

because eventually

literally everyone gets old and lose

some of their looks.

I used to be ugly

and even as I got prettier

I realized I still couldn't win.

Here are my credentials.

This was the favorite.

Yep.

When I was ugly I got made fun of.

I got asked that as a joke.

I was treated like I was invisible,

but I was still taken seriously.

People automatically

assume that due

to my lack of appearance,

I had something else going for me,

which was true.

I was smart,

but I didn't get any less smart.

As I got prettier

and in pursuit of better treatment,

I started working my appearance,

I started working on my hygiene

and I got that better treatment.

But the intention behind

said treatment

was much more superficial.

And the closer

I got

to the conventional beauty standard,

the more my appearance

would validate who I was internally

and also diminish it.

People would take my opinion,

consider it,

but suddenly meant less

because of the mouth

I came out of as a woman.

No matter how lovely or intelligent

you may be,

if you are attractive

in any way,

your appearance becomes

your most valuable attribute.

And for the longest time,

I was obsessed

with working on external factors

because I thought

it would bring light

to who I was internally.

But the opposite is true.

There's no winning.

It just attracts the wrong people.

It's like getting plastic surgery

in pursuit of finding love.

The people that are attracted to

you are just there

for the wrong reasons.

To any young woman hearing this,

and I cannot stress this enough,

your appearance is the least

interesting part about you.

If you think working

on what you look like

will win

you genuine respect

or care from other people,

you're wasting your time.

Any connection

you make based off of those

superficial factors

is worth nothing.

Decentralize appearance in your life

because I promise

it will only destroy you

in the long run.

And no matter what, insecure

people will always have

something unkind to say about you

and will always have something

mean to say

because they want you

to doubt yourself

and they want you

to feel insecure about yourself,

just like how they feel

about themselves.

Ignore and disregard

the opinions of someone

who does not matter to you

or aspire to be like.

I think something else

you can do with

your pretty privilege

is to be like a princess

and like help others

who don't have it.

For example,

if you know a girl at work

who was getting passed

over for a promotion

because of their appearance,

you can step in

and like gas her up and talk her up

some and people will listen to you

because you're pretty.

Guys Want to buy you a drink?

Sure, you'll be happy to accept it,

but only if he also buys a drink

for your friend.

Obviously

you want to be sensitive about it

because it can also

be really frustrating

to know that someone's

only trying to help you

because they feel bad for you.

At the same time.

Like it is not fair

after all that like pretty girls

get special

treatment and regular

or ugly people don't

You're in a position to help people,

so you should be a princess

and do something about it

and actually destroy the system

from within.

Thank you guys

so much for watching this video.

I really hope this is helpful to you

or that you learn something from it.

And I definitely want to hear

about your experience

in the comments, so let me know.

I am very grateful

to all of you, as always,

and I'll see you in the next video.