Why ADHD Makes You Feel Broken

Summary

The script discusses the internal struggles of individuals with ADHD, highlighting how societal and personal misconceptions can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression. It emphasizes the importance of proper diagnosis and treatment, including the potential benefits and challenges of ADHD medication. The video also touches on the underdiagnosis in girls and the impact of societal pressures on self-perception, advocating for a deeper understanding and support for neurodiverse individuals.

Takeaways

• 🧠 The script discusses the internal struggle of individuals with ADHD, who may feel fundamentally broken due to their inability to focus and the pressure to live up to their potential.
• 🤯 It highlights the common misconception that ADHD is a personal flaw rather than a neurodiverse condition, which can lead to feelings of shame and depression.
• 🔄 The speaker emphasizes the importance of understanding the difference between personal flaws and ADHD symptoms, as misattribution can cause psychological distress.
• 🎓 The script mentions Triple 10, an online educational platform that offers boot camp-style curricula and has impressive job placement rates for graduates.
• 💼 It suggests that finding the right job can significantly enhance overall life satisfaction, especially for those with ADHD who may be struggling in their current careers.
• 📊 The connection between ADHD and depression is explored, noting that ADHD increases the risk for depression, particularly during adolescence and young adulthood.
• 👧 The underdiagnosis of ADHD in girls is discussed, pointing out that girls' symptoms may be missed due to differences in brain development and behavior compared to boys.
• 🧬 The script touches on the genetic and environmental factors contributing to ADHD and how the condition can manifest differently in individuals.
• 💊 It discusses the effectiveness of ADHD medication, noting that while it can be beneficial for some, it may not work for everyone and can have variable effects.
• 🧐 The importance of a proper clinical evaluation for ADHD is stressed, rather than self-diagnosis, to ensure accurate treatment and understanding of the condition.
• 🌟 The script concludes by acknowledging the complex relationship between ADHD, personal experiences, and societal expectations, and the need for a nuanced understanding of the condition.

Q & A

What is the main issue the speaker discusses regarding individuals with ADHD?

The speaker discusses the issue of self-blame and the belief that one's failures are entirely their own fault due to a perceived lack of effort, which is often a misconception among individuals with ADHD.

How does the speaker describe the common experience of individuals with ADHD?

The speaker describes the common experience of individuals with ADHD as feeling fundamentally broken, struggling with self-doubt, and attributing personal flaws to the condition rather than understanding it as a neurodiverse trait.

What is the 'triple 10' mentioned in the script, and what does it offer?

'Triple 10' is an online educational platform that offers various curricula through a boot camp format, boasting an 87% job placement rate within 6 months of graduation and a refund policy if graduates do not find a job.

How does the speaker connect ADHD with depression?

The speaker connects ADHD with depression by explaining that individuals with ADHD often carry a belief of being fundamentally broken, which can lead to depression, especially during adolescence and young adulthood.

What is the comorbidity rate between ADHD and depression mentioned in the script?

The comorbidity rate between ADHD and depression is mentioned to be around 30%.

Why does the speaker say that girls with ADHD are often underdiagnosed?

Girls with ADHD are often underdiagnosed because they typically exhibit less hyperactivity, which is a common symptom that leads to ADHD diagnosis. Additionally, girls' brains mature faster, and societal expectations may mask the symptoms.

What is the impact of misdiagnosing or misattributing ADHD symptoms as personal flaws?

Misdiagnosing or misattributing ADHD symptoms as personal flaws can lead to feelings of shame, self-blame, and a belief of being fundamentally broken, which can negatively impact mental health and self-perception.

How does the speaker explain the psychological damage caused by attributing ADHD symptoms to personal effort?

The speaker explains that attributing ADHD symptoms to personal effort can create a learned helplessness and confusion, as individuals are taught that their right actions are wrong, leading to a distorted perception of reality and self-worth.

What is the 'stress-diathesis' model mentioned in the script, and how does it relate to ADHD?

The 'stress-diathesis' model presumes that illness is the result of an environmental component plus a genetic risk. In relation to ADHD, it suggests that the manifestation of ADHD symptoms can be influenced by environmental factors in addition to genetic predisposition.

How does the speaker describe the impact of stimulant medication on individuals with ADHD?

The speaker describes the impact of stimulant medication as highly variable, with some individuals experiencing instant benefits and mood elevation, while others may not respond positively or may even experience negative side effects.

What is the significance of the Captain Picard example in the script?

The Captain Picard example is used to illustrate the contrast between an individual with strong internal fortitude who can resist psychological manipulation and a child with ADHD who lacks such fortitude and is more susceptible to the damaging effects of external pressures and misdiagnosis.

Outlines

00:00

🤯 Struggling with ADHD and Self-Doubt

The first paragraph delves into the internal struggle of individuals with ADHD, who often feel they are underperforming despite their efforts. It discusses the common misconception that their failures are entirely their fault, rather than being related to their condition. The speaker also touches on the societal and self-imposed pressure to live up to one's potential and the resulting self-blame. Additionally, the paragraph introduces 'triple 10,' an online educational platform that offers boot camp-style curricula and has impressive job placement rates, suggesting it as a potential solution for those looking to pivot their careers. The paragraph concludes with a discussion on the link between ADHD and depression, particularly in adolescence and young adulthood, and the lack of understanding as to why this connection exists.

05:01

👧 The Underdiagnosis of ADHD in Girls

This paragraph focuses on the disparity in ADHD diagnosis rates between girls and boys, with only one girl diagnosed for every three boys. It explores the reasons behind this, including the fact that girls' frontal lobes develop more quickly, making their ADHD symptoms less noticeable. The paragraph also discusses how societal expectations and the misdiagnosis of ADHD as a lack of effort can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-blame. The speaker emphasizes the psychological damage caused by teaching individuals that their correct efforts are wrong, leading to learned helplessness and confusion in life navigation. The paragraph ends with a call to action for parents and educators to be more aware of the signs of ADHD in girls and to avoid the damaging effects of misdiagnosis.

10:02

😔 The Psychological Impact of ADHD-Related Shame

The third paragraph examines the psychological effects of living with ADHD, particularly the feelings of shame and the belief that one is fundamentally broken due to perceived personal flaws. It discusses how this belief can contribute to depression and the development of a 'shame complex' where individuals internalize the idea that their failures are entirely their fault. The speaker also addresses the lack of proper diagnosis and understanding of ADHD in children, leading to a cycle of self-blame and learned helplessness. The paragraph highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing these feelings to prevent the development of depression and other mental health issues associated with ADHD.

15:03

💊 Gender Differences in ADHD Medication Efficacy

The final paragraph discusses the differences in how ADHD medications affect women compared to men, noting that the development of these drugs has been largely focused on reducing hyperactivity, a symptom more prevalent in boys. It suggests that this focus may not be as effective for girls and women, who may require different treatment approaches, such as atomoxetine. The paragraph emphasizes the importance of considering gender differences in ADHD treatment and the need for further research to develop more effective medications for all individuals with ADHD, regardless of gender.

Keywords

💡ADHD

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. In the video, it is discussed as a condition that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-blame, especially when not properly diagnosed or understood. The script mentions how individuals with ADHD might internalize the idea that they are 'fundamentally broken' due to societal and personal pressures to perform, despite their challenges.

💡Neurodiversity

Neurodiversity refers to the variation in the human brain regarding sociability, learning, attention, mood, and other mental functions. The video script touches on the idea that individuals with ADHD are neurodiverse, suggesting that their unique cognitive differences can be a source of struggle in a world designed for neurotypical individuals. It highlights the need for understanding and acceptance of these differences.

💡Shame

Shame in this context is the deep sense of guilt or embarrassment that individuals with ADHD may feel due to their perceived inability to meet societal or personal expectations. The script describes how this shame can stem from the misdiagnosis of ADHD as a personal flaw or effort problem, leading to a cycle of self-blame and depression.

💡Depression

Depression is a common mental health disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest or pleasure in activities. The video discusses the link between ADHD and depression, noting that individuals with ADHD are at a higher risk of developing depressive symptoms, especially during adolescence and young adulthood.

💡Learned Helplessness

Learned helplessness is a psychological condition in which a person has learned to act or behave helplessly in a particular situation, usually after experiencing some inability to avoid an adverse situation. The script uses this concept to describe how individuals with ADHD may feel helpless in improving their situation, especially when they are repeatedly told that their struggles are due to a lack of effort rather than a neurological condition.

💡Stimulant Medication

Stimulant medication is a class of drugs used to treat ADHD that works by increasing the levels of certain neurotransmitters in the brain. The video script mentions the effectiveness of stimulant medication in reducing ADHD symptoms and its potential to alleviate depression in some individuals, but also notes the variability in how different people respond to these medications.

💡Triple 10

Triple 10 is an online educational platform mentioned in the script that offers various curricula through a boot camp format. It is highlighted for its impressive outcomes, with 87% of graduates securing a job within six months of graduation. The platform is presented as a potential solution for individuals with ADHD who may have fallen behind in life or are looking to make a career pivot.

💡Neurosis

Neurosis is a term that refers to a mental disorder characterized by anxiety, obsessions, compulsions, phobias, and other symptoms that result from unconscious conflicts. While not explicitly defined in the script, the concept of neuroses is alluded to when discussing the psychological impact of living with undiagnosed or misunderstood ADHD.

💡Burnout

Burnout is a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion often caused by excessive and prolonged stress. The script mentions burnout as one of the issues faced by individuals with ADHD, particularly those who have fallen behind in life or are seeking a career change.

💡Cognitive Mechanisms

Cognitive mechanisms refer to the processes by which the mind operates, including perception, memory, judgment, and problem-solving. The video discusses a systematic review paper examining the cognitive mechanisms underlying depressive disorders in ADHD, suggesting that understanding these mechanisms can help explain the link between ADHD and depression.

💡Self-Blame

Self-blame is the act of attributing the cause of one's problems or difficulties to oneself. The script frequently refers to self-blame as a common experience among individuals with ADHD, who may believe that their failures are entirely their own fault due to a lack of effort or personal flaws, rather than a result of their neurological condition.

Highlights

Individuals with ADHD may feel fundamentally broken due to a lack of understanding and support, leading to a belief that their failures are entirely their fault.

The societal and self-imposed pressure on individuals with ADHD to 'live up to their potential' can contribute to a sense of inadequacy and failure.

ADHD can be both underdiagnosed and overdiagnosed, often due to a lack of awareness or misdirected focus on symptoms like hyperactivity.

Girls with ADHD are less likely to be diagnosed due to a combination of biological, social, and diagnostic factors.

The misdiagnosis of ADHD as an effort problem can lead to significant psychological damage and a sense of learned helplessness.

The belief that one's ADHD is a personal flaw rather than a neurological condition can contribute to depression and low self-esteem.

The comorbidity between ADHD and depression is significant, with approximately 30% of individuals with ADHD also experiencing depression.

Medication for ADHD can have highly variable effects, with some individuals experiencing significant mood elevation while others may not respond well to certain treatments.

The development of ADHD medication has historically been skewed towards treating hyperactivity, which may not be as effective for girls and women.

The transcript discusses the importance of proper diagnosis and understanding of ADHD to avoid the development of shame and self-blame.

The impact of ADHD on an individual's life can be profound, affecting not only academic and professional success but also personal relationships and mental health.

The transcript emphasizes the need for a differential diagnosis approach to understand the unique challenges faced by individuals with ADHD.

The shame associated with ADHD can lead individuals to self-diagnose or deny their condition, further complicating their mental health journey.

The transcript suggests that addressing the environmental and genetic components of ADHD can help in managing the condition more effectively.

The discussion on the impact of ADHD on career and life satisfaction highlights the importance of finding the right job and making necessary career changes.

The transcript mentions Triple 10, an online educational platform with a high success rate in helping graduates find jobs, as a potential resource for those looking to pivot their careers.

The importance of self-acceptance and understanding the neurodiversity of ADHD is underscored to combat the internalized shame and improve mental well-being.

Transcripts

my brain does not have the capacity to

focus and yet I'm pushing it I pushing

it I pushing it and I yield very little

therefore I must be fundamentally broken

there's a lack of effort you need to

live up to your potential if you just

applied yourself you'd do so much better

where is the flaw where is the flaw

where is the flaw it's inside me it's

inside me it's inside me the reason

people think this way is not because

it's true but because we've been trained

to conceptualize things in that way if

we have ADHD every ADHD at some point

what if I don't really have ADHD what if

I just have a complex series of personal

flaws that map onto ADHD experiences

that are incredibly relatable to other

AD other people with ADHD and every

failing in my life is entirely and

unequivocally my fault forget about ADHD

for a second this is a very common

experience right and this experience

happens for three reasons the first is

that when we have flaws and someone

tells us hey this flaw is due to your

ADHD what our mind actually says is it

responds with this every failing isn't

the ADHD it is entirely and

unequivocally my fault okay so this is

where like we don't like to blame our

ADHD for our problems this is number one

because our understanding of ourselves

is consistent with blaming ourselves so

let's understand literally what happens

two of the biggest problems I see in our

community are that people have fallen

behind in Life or they're burnt out and

looking to make a career pivot and while

I can give yall lectures on neur neuros

science or how to meditate your problems

away the Practical problem of actually

catching up in Life or making a career

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in summary ADHD increases the risk for

depression especially during adolescence

and young adulthood however it is not

well understood why ADHD increases the

risk for depression at this stage so

this is true this actually we figured

out okay so this is a a review paper

that's looking at cognitive mechanisms

underlying depressive disorders in ADHD

a systematic review and this is sort of

looking at how ADHD leads to depression

I have a complex series of personal

flaws that map on to ADHD and every

failing in my life is entirely and

unequivocally my fault and it turns out

that the reason people think this way is

not because it's true but because we've

been trained to conceptualize things in

that way if we have ADHD so here's why

people with ADHD don't think that they

have ADHD they think that they just have

a set of very unique personal problems

and they don't like to blame their ADHD

here's you as a kid and humans are

actually pretty good at estim IQ maybe

that statement is factually incorrect I

don't know but generally speaking like

kids can tell when like another kid is

smart or another kid is dumb this may

change a little bit later once we start

getting phds and we use big words but

generally speaking like you can tell

when someone's stupid right and you can

kind of tell when someone's smart so

kids go to school and there's a group of

kids and we all sort of recognize that

our IQ is in the same ballpark now here

you have a kid with ADHD and you

recognize that I'm a about as smart as

the other kids then what happens is you

look at your performance this kid gets

an a this kid gets a b and I get an f

and there are lots of studies that show

this we we go into a lot of the detailed

research in Dr K's guide to ADHD and

doing stuff it's like super scary so

there's a study that looks at if you

look at kids with ADHD and depression

there's one study that found that if you

get diagnosed with depression first

there is a 3% chance that you will get

diagnosed with ADHD as an adult if you

get diagnosed with depression as a kid

if you get diagnosed with ADHD as a kid

there is a 70% chance that you will have

depression as an adult so now you're a

kid and what we know from ADHD is that

when you are a kid with ADHD often times

it is not diagnosed so ADHD is both the

most underdiagnosed and overdiagnosed

mental illness in my opinion which means

that we diagnose it a ton in people who

don't have it and we diag we miss it a

lot in people who do so this is also

incredibly common for girls so if you're

a girl with ADHD the rate of diagnosis

of girls to boys is 1 to three so three

boys get diagnosed with ADHD for every

one girl gets diagnosed the interesting

thing is that if you look at women to

men this is one: one so how do we

understand this two things one is that

girls usually have a frontal lobe that

is developed one year ahead of their

male counterparts so one study showed

that if you look at a boy who uh a girl

at the age of 10 will have like a

frontal lobe that's about 11.5 years old

versus a boy will have a frontal loobe

that's about 10.5 years old it's

somewhere around 10 years okay so what

that means is that when someone is like

looking at a a boy versus a girl the

girl is like their brains are like one

year more mature another reason for that

we miss diagnose uh girls we miss the

diagnos of ADHD and girls is because the

most common symptom that leads to

diagnosis is hyperactivity and girls are

much less likely to be hyperactive the

third thing that changes is during uh

puberty we get an in increased estrogen

Alters our dopaminergic circuitry and so

we start to see a lot of like

impulsivity and other kinds of like SE

dopamine seeking activity happen more in

women so there's a puberty effect as

well anyway Point here is that this kid

doesn't get diagnosed so when this kid

does get diagnosed I want you all to

think about imagine that you're a

seven-year-old child and you recognize

that you are just as smart as your

friends but you see that there is a huge

performance difference and then on top

of that what happens is your teachers

your parents diagnose you with an effort

problem they said that you just need to

try harder I don't understand why you

can't just study why can't you sit still

why can't you go to bed on time I've

been calling you 15 times you need to

try harder so I think the single most

damaging thing I've seen as a

psychiatrist is when someone is doing

something completely correctly and you

tell them that they are doing it

completely wrong so the single most

damaging thing what really screws people

up for life is when they get taught that

Up Is Down and Down is up so I'll give

you all a simple example of this so

let's say I have abusive parents and I

am doing my best to make them happy

right so I'm actually like being extra

careful I'm trying extra hard I'm

working extra hard I don't want my

parents to yell at me but my parents are

alcoholics and so they're drunk and then

they yell and then they blame me even

when I don't do anything wrong so the

reason that this is so psychologically

damaging is because your brain thinks

that doing the right thing is the wrong

thing and then if you go through life

thinking that the right thing is the

wrong thing it [ __ ] up so many parts of

your life and we see this also I see

this in like romantic relationship ships

right that are abusive where there's

like one partner who's like you do

everything wrong but the person is is

like technically doing everything right

so when you get taught that right is

wrong and that there is no way to

achieve right this creates learned

helplessness this creates a very

confusing way to navigate life because

then the right answer no longer becomes

right you know it's like you you want

you want to know how to [ __ ] up people's

ability to do finance and Mathematics

you tell them 2 plus 2 is 5 and they're

like no I think it's four and you're

like No 2 plus 2 is five 2 plus 2 is

five there's this great scene from Star

Trek TNG basically like in this episode

and this what is what makes Captain

peard such a Chad peard is getting

tortured by the card Kardashians

Kardashians and so basically the guy's

like you know there's four lights and

he's like trying to convince he tortures

peard until peard says there are five

lights so he's like trying to get bicard

to lie so he's like trying to divorce

this person's mind from reality

forite and what I think is is is

hilarious and sad about this is in the

show Captain peard is like very very

Resolute right so he's like very strong

internally so he can resist torture and

the problem with ADHD is it's the exact

opposite so peard is like a

65-year-old you know Starship captain of

the flagship of the Federation and but

when you're like six with ADHD you don't

have the internal fortitude of a

65-year-old fictional character like you

just don't have that internal fortitude

so when the rest of the world tells you

that you need to be working harder it

really messes you up you you begin to

learn that 2+ 2 is 5 you begin to learn

because everyone around is telling you

everyone around you is telling you that

you're screwing up and you need to put

forth more effort right so let's say

that what you see in other people is you

see that they have an IQ of 100 and they

get an A you have an IQ of 100 plus X

but you get an F so what do you conclude

here you conclude that X must be some

large negative number and this is

literally what happens that we have

studies on this so then what happens is

you you begin to believe that you have

some kind of deficit there is something

wrong with me there is something

fundamentally broken and when there's

something wrong with me and

fundamentally broken this belief is what

contributes to the depression so what

happens is people with ADHD carry they

have this learned belief of Shame and

that there's something I am put putting

forth so much effort because my brain

does not have the capacity to focus and

yet I'm pushing it I pushing it I am

pushing it and I yield very little

therefore I must be fundamentally broken

this mathematical equation is what I see

time and time and time again with ADHD

and now what happens is you carry this

belief even though it's not true that

you have a broken something that is

always with you and when you have a

broken something then what happens is

you look at your life and you say I I am

broken there's something every failing

is my life in my life is entirely and

unequivocally my fault this is what this

is what happened so this is a

consequence of ADHD if you doubt your

ADHD in this way this is the consequence

of ADHD and why do you believe this it's

because when you were failing no one

said something else is wrong right the

blame got placed on you there's a lack

of effort you need to live up to your

potential if you just applied yourself

you do so much better where is the flaw

where is the flaw where is the flaw it's

inside me it's inside me it's inside me

and what happens with these kids it's

super sad because at some point the kid

may try to talk to the parent and say

like I know I'm smart but they don't

know how to articulate like I don't know

what's wrong with me sometimes they'll

say that right actually that's what they

say literally they say I don't know

what's wrong with me but there is

something wrong with you you've got ADHD

right you're a neurodiverse individual

trying to succeed in a neurotypical

world so there's even some evidence when

we look at sort of the the stress

diathesis model of illness what it

presumes is that illness is the the

result of an environment plus like a

genetic risk right so it's not even that

something is objectively wrong with you

it is that there is an environmental

component to the manifestation of

disease so you can look at someone who

has a predisposition for alcohol and

then you can give them stressful

circumstances you can give them trauma

you can even start them on an SSRI or

anti-depressant medication so even the

com the idea that no this is not ADHD

this is something that what if I have a

complex of personal flaws that map on to

ADHD you all see how absurd that is but

this is the way that the Mind thinks and

why does the Mind think this way because

it was taught to think that way because

as a kid you may have asked or wondered

I don't know what's wrong with me and no

one actually took that question

seriously no one sat down and did did a

differential diagnosis no one stopped to

think what could be wrong with this kid

and instead what we get told live up to

your potential so there's like this this

complex that develops in the mind of

someone who has ADHD where they think

there's just something like these are

all my personal flaws and I have to own

them a lot because that's what you were

taught you were taught to blame yourself

and chances are parents don't let you

make excuses right so they're like no

you can't make excuses this is your

fault now there are a lot of good

parents out there who do allow their

children to make excuses those are the

kids that get diagnosed those are the

kids that don't wind up with depression

right remember that the comorbidity

between ADHD and depression is somewhere

around 30% right so still there's 70% of

people out there who don't wind up with

depression some amount of luck some

amount of genetics some amount of like

whatever the cognitive mechanisms are um

then that that you know underly the two

if you dodge that bullet then you're

you're in good shape the last thing to

consider about this this like shame that

of ADHD is experiences that are

incredibly relatable to other people

with ADHD right so you've got like oh

people say they have ADHD and I have it

too like I experiened the same thing but

I'm not willing to diagnose myself with

ADHD and you shouldn't diagnose yourself

you should go go get a clinical

evaluation but you know this is exactly

what it looks like this is the

manifestation of the

shame I I don't I mean it's possible

that you have a collection of things

that perfectly overlap with ADHD relate

to other people's experiences with ADHD

and you still don't accept that you have

it I think that's completely like normal

I I don't think it's correct but it's a

very very common experience and it's

because of this shame complex you know

some people are saying tooking getting

on ADHD meds took away more than half of

my depression almost immediately so

that's uh that can absolutely happen so

a lot of medic I mean medication for

ADHD is incredibly effective and it is

also doesn't work doesn't is not a

miracle for like a lot of people out

there so for some people they see

instant benefits there's also Euphoria

component to stimulant medication which

I think elevates people's mood and and

you someone else is saying short acting

focal messes me up more than than taking

nothing yeah so like that's like really

common is that there's a highly variable

effect especially for women female side

of pharmacotherapy for ADHD a systematic

review several sex differences are

demonstrated in the prescription usage

and efficacy effectiveness of both

stimulant and non-stimulant ADHD

pharmacotherapy a single daily use of

this is probably methylphenidate may

possibly not be optimal for girls with

ADHD and atomoxetine may be a promising

medication for girls and women with ADHD

and the reason for that is really simple

is I want youall to think a little bit

about how ADHD drugs are developed so

what is the most what is the symptom or

sign it's really a sign that correlates

the most with ADHD diagnosis is it it is

hyperactivity and so what do we what do

we really look for what makes a parent

or a teacher happy with a medicated

child it is the reduction of

hyperactivity right so the kid [ __ ]

sits in their seat the kid stays seated

during dinner the kid isn't running

around all over the place thank God

they're finally medicated for their ADHD

so when when you're when this is the

main sign that we're looking to treat

and then we develop a stimulant

medication turns out stimulants are very

good at dealing with hyperactivity the

problem is that hyperactivity is more

common in boys than in girls so the

medication was developed specifically

for and not specifically for

hyperactivity but that's a huge part of

the efficacy of the medication and it

applies more to boys than girls so so

the mileage for girls varies quite a bit

[Music]