How society fools the poor with "work/life balance"

Summary

In this engaging podcast segment, the speaker reflects on building multiple successful companies with his wife, emphasizing the importance of aligning work and personal life. He discusses the misconception of work-life balance, advocating for the integration of passion into work. The speaker shares experiences that highlight the joy of working and the challenges of maintaining a relationship while being deeply involved in business. He also touches on the dynamics of marriage and entrepreneurship, suggesting that shared goals and mutual respect are key to a harmonious partnership.

Takeaways

• 💼 The speaker and his wife have successfully built six multi-million dollar companies in the past five years, with their current portfolio generating about 85 million a year.
• 🎙️ The speaker was recently interviewed on a two-hour long podcast, discussing the balance between work, life, and marriage while building companies together.
• 🔄 The speaker rejects the idea of 'work-life balance' in the traditional sense, opting instead for optimizing life around what he and his wife enjoy, which includes working.
• 🎂 An anecdote about the speaker choosing to work on his birthday instead of celebrating, highlighting his preference for work over leisure.
• 🏆 The speaker emphasizes the importance of working to create options, not to avoid work, and that the freedom to choose when to work is a form of liberation.
• 📉 A period in 2021 when the speaker did not work led to a miserable year, as he struggled to find fulfillment in spending the money he had made.
• 🛠️ The speaker finds joy in building infrastructure and hiring teams for his business, Acquisition.com, after realizing the importance of staying engaged in work.
• 🤝 The speaker believes that successful relationships, especially in business partnerships, require a shared understanding and respect that comes from being in the 'battlefield' together.
• 👫 The speaker discusses the challenges of maintaining a relationship while being deeply involved in business, suggesting that compromise is not necessarily a part of a successful marriage.
• 🏠 The speaker and his wife have found a balance by creating space in their work and personal lives, ensuring they don't become too familiar with each other to the point of losing excitement.
• 🔄 The speaker suggests that the happiest couples are those who have parallel careers with shared goals and values, respecting each other's individual paths.

Q & A

How many companies have the speaker and his wife built in the last five years?

The speaker and his wife have built six multi-eight-figure companies in the last five years.

What is the annual revenue of their current portfolio?

Their current portfolio does about 85 million dollars a year.

What is the name of the platform the speaker runs?

The speaker runs a platform called acquisition.com.

What was the main topic of the podcast segment the speaker wants to share?

The main topic of the podcast segment was the experience of building companies together while being married and balancing work life and marriage.

What does the speaker believe about the concept of work-life balance?

The speaker believes that people should optimize for the things they enjoy doing, and if they enjoy working more, they should work more, rather than adhering to a traditional work-life balance.

How did the speaker feel about the year 2021 when he did nothing but own companies and generate cash flow?

The speaker felt that 2021 was a very miserable year because he tried to spend the money he was making but found it impossible, leading him to question the purpose of his work.

What was the speaker's realization about work after his experience in 2021?

The speaker realized that he works to create options, not to avoid work. He enjoys working and seeks the freedom to choose to work when he wants.

What is the speaker's view on the common dynamics in relationships, especially in the context of entrepreneurship?

The speaker believes that there are two dynamics that work in relationships over an extended period of time: being in it together and the cheerleader and quarterback dynamic. However, he emphasizes the importance of shared respect and understanding that comes from working together.

How does the speaker approach the potential issue of becoming too familiar with his spouse due to working together?

The speaker and his spouse create more space in their relationship by working on separate sides of the house and not attending the same meetings, allowing them to share their day's experiences with each other during dinner.

What does the speaker suggest as a potential downside of couples working together in business?

The speaker suggests that couples working together can become too familiar with each other, potentially leading to a sibling-like relationship instead of a romantic partnership.

How does the speaker define the difference between the 'we're in it together' and 'cheerleader and quarterback' dynamics in relationships?

In the 'we're in it together' dynamic, both partners work towards shared goals and understand each other's experiences. In the 'cheerleader and quarterback' dynamic, one partner supports the other's efforts without necessarily sharing the same work experiences, requiring a very aligned mission and goals.

Outlines

00:00

👫 Work-Life Balance and Marriage Dynamics

The speaker discusses his experience building multiple successful companies with his wife over the past five years, emphasizing the importance of aligning work and personal life. He challenges the traditional notion of work-life balance, arguing that one should optimize for what they enjoy, whether that means working more or less. He shares anecdotes about his preference for working on his birthday and during vacations, highlighting his passion for work. The speaker also touches on the freedom that comes with the choice to work and the joy he found in re-engaging with his business after a period of perceived idleness. He concludes by addressing the unique challenges of balancing a business partnership with a marriage, suggesting that compromise is not always necessary and that shared experiences and mutual respect are key to a successful relationship.

05:02

🔄 The Struggle with Work Schedules and Relationship Dynamics

In this paragraph, the speaker delves deeper into the complexities of maintaining a work schedule that aligns with one's personal and professional needs. He describes an attempt to adhere to a strict work schedule that ended at 5 p.m. but found it unsatisfactory due to the constraints it placed on his productivity. The speaker advocates for the freedom to work according to one's natural rhythms and the importance of not compromising one's identity in the pursuit of balance. He also explores different relationship dynamics, such as the 'we're in it together' approach and the 'cheerleader and quarterback' model, discussing their respective merits and challenges. The speaker emphasizes the value of shared respect and understanding in a relationship, especially when both partners are deeply involved in the same business venture. He concludes by reflecting on the need to manage the dichotomy of familiarity and space in relationships, particularly for entrepreneurial couples, to avoid becoming too familiar and losing the excitement that comes with the early stages of a relationship.

Keywords

💡Multi-eight-figure companies

This term refers to businesses that are worth between eighty million and eight hundred million dollars. In the context of the video, the speaker mentions having built six such companies in the last five years, indicating a high level of business success and wealth creation. It exemplifies the theme of entrepreneurship and the pursuit of financial success.

💡Work-life balance

Work-life balance is the equilibrium between an individual's professional and personal life. The speaker discusses this concept, suggesting that it's often misunderstood. He argues for optimizing for what one enjoys, whether that's work or leisure, and adjusting as necessary. This concept is central to the video's theme of personal fulfillment and the integration of work into one's life.

💡Acquisition.com

Acquisition.com is the business platform that the speaker mentions running. It represents one of the successful ventures the speaker has been involved in and is an example of the kind of business that contributes to the impressive annual revenue mentioned in the script.

💡Podcast segment

A podcast segment is a portion of a larger podcast episode, often focused on a specific topic or interview. The speaker references a 'two-hour, long podcast' where he was interviewed, and he shares a clip from it to discuss the dynamics of building companies and maintaining relationships.

💡Marriage

Marriage is a legally or formally recognized union of two people. In the video, the speaker discusses the interplay between marriage and work, emphasizing that his wife is also his business partner. The concept of marriage is integral to the video's exploration of personal and professional life integration.

💡Freedom

Freedom, in this context, refers to the liberty to choose how one spends their time and the activities one engages in. The speaker values the freedom to work and emphasizes that working is a choice that provides him with meaning and satisfaction, contrasting the common notion that work is something to be avoided or escaped.

💡Optimization

Optimization is the process of making the best or most effective use of a situation or resource. The speaker talks about optimizing for the things he enjoys, which in his case, includes working. This concept is key to understanding the speaker's approach to life and work.

💡Compromise

Compromise is the act of settling on a middle ground or agreement in a situation involving different interests. The speaker challenges the notion of compromise in marriage, suggesting that it's a belief rather than a necessity, and that he has found a way to align his work and personal life without having to compromise.

💡Stimulus

In the context of the video, stimulus refers to the motivation or excitement derived from an activity, such as work. The speaker mentions that if one gets more stimulus from working than from not working, they should work, reflecting his belief in aligning one's activities with their sources of motivation.

💡Entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship is the process of designing, launching, and running a new business. The video's main theme revolves around the speaker's experiences as an entrepreneur, building multiple successful companies, and the mindset and lifestyle associated with this endeavor.

💡Familiarity

Familiarity in the video refers to the transition from the initial excitement and mystery in a relationship to a state of comfort and routine. The speaker discusses the challenges of maintaining a relationship while working closely together and the need to manage the balance between familiarity and the need for space to prevent the relationship from becoming too routine.

Highlights

The speaker and his wife have built six multi-eight-figure companies in the last five years.

Their current portfolio generates about 85 million dollars a year.

They run Acquisition.com, a platform for business growth and acquisition strategies.

The speaker discusses the balance between work life and marriage while building companies together.

He emphasizes the importance of optimizing for enjoyment in work and life.

The speaker prefers working on his birthday over celebrating, highlighting his passion for work.

He shares a personal story of feeling miserable during a year of inactivity and wealth accumulation.

The speaker believes in working to create options, not to avoid work.

He argues against the common definition of 'work' and the idea of working to never work again.

The speaker's wife initially preferred a traditional work-life balance, creating initial compromises.

The couple found a balance by working on separate projects and maintaining space in their relationship.

The speaker discusses the importance of shared respect in a relationship, especially for entrepreneurs.

He believes that successful relationships involve partners who understand the challenges of entrepreneurship.

The speaker shares insights on relationship dynamics, such as the 'cheerleader and quarterback' model.

He emphasizes the need for alignment in mission and goals within a relationship for it to be successful.

The speaker talks about the challenges of maintaining excitement and avoiding becoming 'siblings' in a relationship.

He suggests that couples with separate careers tend to be the happiest on average.

The speaker concludes by stating that he does not believe in compromising in a relationship if it's not desired.

Transcripts

my wife and i have built six

multi-eight-figure companies in the last

five years our current portfolio does

about 85 million a year we run

acquisition.com and i was interviewed

recently for a segment on a two-hour

long podcast and the segment that i want

to show you is a really cool clip that

we just talked about what it was like to

literally build these companies together

being married and the balance between

work life and marriage all right so um

like i said enjoy and i'll see you guys

on the other side i mean a lot of people

used to get on me about like you need

more work-life balance like blah blah

blah and it's just like i just like you

have one life and they are your terms

and no one else's terms and we optimize

typically for the things that we enjoy

doing and like if you have more stimulus

from working than you do from not

working then like work and then if you

feel like at some point you have traded

off something that you don't want to

trade off for then you can adjust that's

what i've always felt i enjoy working

like what was it my mom so

we have like a wedding to go to on

the day after my birthday yeah so we

were talking about you know we have to

fly up on my birthday she's like oh we

could do this on your birthday this is

like no i just want to work she's like

no but it's your birthday you shouldn't

have to work and i was like i want to

work yeah that's all i want to do i just

want to work even uh santa monica my

birthday i was like the only thing i

want to do today is work that was it

just wanted to work i mean everybody

wants to they're like man do something

do

do something you love and you'll never

work another day in your life but like

it's just because everyone has this

really poor definition of work but like

if if you have accomplished that which

obviously you have you're just living

yeah and like what you do in life so

i'll i'll rewind something really

quickly which is like 2021 i did nothing

i owned all the companies pounded out a

lot of cash flow and i did nothing and

it was a very miserable year for me

because i

tried to spend the money that i was

making and i couldn't like it was just

not even really a possibility and so

like i got into a place of like why why

am i even doing this like what's the

point like i'll never even be able to

spend this money that i have like why

have i been doing all this stuff and in

starting acquisition.com we're at least

making that the sole focus now again and

being able to build all the

infrastructure you know hire the teams

and all the stuff that we're doing on

that side of the business like i have so

much joy getting back into the game

because i feel like i've been kind of

like in a super high leverage position

for like an extended period of time that

i exited the business because i thought

that was what the next natural step was

supposed to be which is like you go from

ceo to owning it as shareholder or board

of directors whatever and that is very

much what happened but i realized that

for me at least it's like i work to

create options not to not work and so a

lot of people like they work really hard

to not have to work later it's like no

no it's like i work to have the option

to work and so i can choose to work and

that choice is the freedom that i have

and so like if i'm choosing with the

optionality that i have to work then

that is exactly what i want to do just

being on the other side of it of like

going to the like there's literally no

way i can spend this money for the rest

of my life mountaintop like the only

thing that i wanted to do was the thing

that got me here which is like i love

working and so it's the thing that i

find meaningful and i think that maybe

you shift direction in terms of like

maybe some of the stuff that you create

like maybe there's some things that you

create that are for youtube versus like

for gram and i just think that it just

slowly optimizes to only doing things

for gram which a lot of times still ends

up being that but like you get there

backwards yeah it's like if you made it

purely for you then you might be able to

make a video after that that's like i

walked 300 miles and i didn't film

anything and this is what i learned like

that would probably be a really valuable

video because you probably would have

some interesting insights like i didn't

film either of the grant cardone videos

and then just made videos about the

calls of like my takeaways and they were

still really great videos interesting

okay so my only thought to that is like

you are in a very unique position

because you run this business with your

wife and and stuff like that and i think

that marriage

plays a big part in my life yeah and i

think marriage is a compromise and so my

my wife doesn't like it when i work as

much and her i guess her her like love

language is what quality time or

whatever and i think graham his

girlfriend macy is similar and i think

that there's a compromise there where

yes graham if all he wants to do is work

that's great and he can work and work

and work but i think that marriage a

successful marriage is truly a

compromise and if if it turns out that

you know

like like you're really good i have like

so many thoughts right now yeah it's

stimulating conversation

and i think yeah and i think everybody's

in a unique position because you know

definitely like there's you you could

say well you know i'm gonna grind away

now so that you know i i don't have to

work in the future we could spend time

together or you can kind of balance and

live in the now and live in the future

but i think everybody's kind of in a

unique position but i think that that

part of your life is is is always going

to be a compromise to some sort of

extent so i think it's a belief that you

choose to define it that way yeah i'm

okay yeah i'm okay compromise is a

belief statement like that's not a

statement of fact that is a belief and

so like i don't believe that marriage is

compromised tell us your experience with

that because i have uh because i'm sure

we all have different experiences

mine in the beginning was that i did

find that there was a compromise because

macy came from the mindset like you know

five or six pm comes around

uh you're done with work yeah and you're

free and my mind works 24 7.

uh i tried that and i woke up really

early i'd wake up at like 5 a.m so i

could be done by 5 p.m and the night and

i that worked for actually quite a while

because i actually found it was so

productive in those morning hours that i

could be done by five and be like oh wow

this is great but over a long time

trying to figure out like a like a

balance i found myself i wasn't myself

like i i was really i felt anxious i was

just like uptight i was um

like about what part like no because

because i couldn't work during the hours

that i wanted to work like sometimes

just you just have this there's days

where it's just like no no i'm so

focused and i got it like you have that

concentration you just have to continue

and so having that freedom for me if i

don't have that i just wasn't myself and

i was miserable yeah what i'm going to

say and i i have very strong views um

and they are not common um but i also

think that i don't want to live a common

life and so that i cannot have common

views so just like as a as a big

disclaimer to that like i've only seen

two dynamics that work in relationships

over like an extended period of time one

is kind of the like we're in it together

and the other is like the you know

cheerleader and quarterback cheering you

on but the thing is is like i can tell i

can speak a lot to the you know we're in

the game together um for me i know

personally like i had two

very long relationships that were two

liter dynamics and to me i could not

imagine living life that way having now

lived what i live now because like

there's a certain amount of shared

respect that you never get with somebody

who does not know what it's like to be

in the battlefield or in the arena and

if i'm like i need to work for the next

three days and like write five book

chapters like there's not a discussion

it's like of course do your thing

there's no like there's no like i can't

believe you're like uh

and to the flip side in the cheerleader

dynamic a cheerleader who's really

rooting for the team doesn't ask the

quarterback to come out when the game's

on the line and so i think that a lot of

people are running in what they consider

to be cheerleader dynamics but they are

inverted dynamics they're actually

sabotaging the game i think that it's

like in that dynamic it's harder in my

opinion to do the cheerleader

quarterback because you have to have a

very aligned mission and goals of like

the relationship it's easier to do that

in the dynamic that you're working

together because it's so clearly stated

with the mission the goals of like this

is where i want to go and this is how i

want to get there and like you want to

come with me and then you're very much

operating on this shared sense of

reality and it also becomes difficult

for entrepreneurs in my opinion now like

i mean i'm sure you've seen plenty

people get divorces that they get older

and whatnot is that like if you're like

all right this will be interesting so

typically when people become attracted

so esther perel if you've heard of her

she's really interesting like

relationship person she's like one of

the top ted talks on it there's i think

it's called mating captivity is her book

but in the beginning you have kind of

this mystery because you don't know each

other and that's what creates like the

excitement right and as you get to know

each other over time you swing like from

uh mystery to familiarity right you get

a little bit more security get to know

each other better and it feels like more

and more amazing and so what you do is

you just keep trying to do that right

but what's up happening is you over

correct and then you become siblings and

then it's like ah well that's not good

and so it's not a problem to be solved

but a a dichotomy to be managed right in

terms of like how much space do you

create versus how much familiarity what

happens when people like entrepreneurs

specifically like have their business

and they

have the wife they spend more time in

the beginning and all of a sudden they

don't spend as much time together and

then they grow apart because they're

also exposed to different stimuli right

and so you adapt to the stimuli that you

have then you grow apart on the flip

side if you're in my scenario where

we're like doing the same thing together

the downside of this one these couples

make five times more money than any of

the other versions that i just said

but the uh you can become too familiar

and then you just become siblings so for

us we actually create more space so it's

like we try to work on separate sides of

the house we don't attend the same

meetings so like at the end of the day

we can sit down at dinner like how was

your day and you can tell me something

rather than me saying like oh i was

there i know right yeah and so the

happiest couples are actually couples

that have oh both have careers that are

not necessarily together so on average

these couples are the ones that because

they have a shared goal in terms of this

is what we want to do they have shared

values in terms of how they want to get

there and they respect one another and

they respect each other's goals and then

they walk kind of in parallel so you've

got the like i'm working the

entrepreneur and you've got the

stay-at-home wife there's many times

everyone's seen that one go wrong

there's the like we're both working

together in it where so these people

have to uh correct for trying to create

more familiarity these ones have to

create more space so you have the space

to be missed and then these ones tend to

be in the middle already and so they

just kind of like have to keep walking

and so for me it was actually just

interesting seeing the the different

dynamics and like how we had to correct

in the beginning like we were wait we

spent all day every day together and the

business was small so it was like she

was there and i was here and we worked

out together and we ate together and we

did that for like two years and i was

like you know maybe i'll sit on

different meetings than you

yeah but like seeing the level of like

commitment and loyalty that you get from

that and i don't know so i want a little

bit of a tangent there but i i have

strong beliefs around around that and i

think that you don't have to compromise

anything if you don't want to