The walk from "no" to "yes" | William Ury

TED
1 Dec 201019:15

Summary

TLDRThe speaker shares a parable of three brothers and 17 camels to illustrate the complexity of negotiation and the power of creative solutions. Drawing from his experiences in global conflicts, he emphasizes the role of the 'third side' in resolving disputes. Inspired by the story of Abraham, he introduces the 'Abraham Path,' a journey that fosters unity and hospitality, offering a transformative approach to peace and understanding in conflict-ridden regions.

Takeaways

  • 🐫 The story of the 17 camels illustrates the importance of creative problem-solving in negotiations, where the introduction of an '18th camel' helps resolve a seemingly intractable issue.
  • πŸ‘΅ The wise old woman represents the role of a third party in conflicts, who can offer a fresh perspective and facilitate resolution.
  • 🌐 The speaker's life passion is to find the '18th camel' in global conflicts, emphasizing the need for innovative approaches to peacemaking.
  • πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦ The concept of humanity as one family, all connected through communication, is highlighted as a basis for understanding and resolving conflicts.
  • πŸ” The speaker's experiences in various conflict zones underscore the complexity of peacemaking and the search for underlying causes of disputes.
  • 🀝 The 'third side' in conflicts is the surrounding community, including friends, allies, and neighbors, who can play a constructive role in resolution.
  • πŸ—£οΈ The third side's fundamental role is to remind parties of the bigger picture and the importance of dialogue over conflict.
  • 🌍 The Abraham Path Initiative is introduced as a practical example of the third side in action, promoting peace through walking in the footsteps of Abraham.
  • πŸ‘£ Walking is presented as a powerful, unifying act that can foster understanding and reconciliation, as exemplified by the Abraham Path.
  • πŸ’‘ The potential economic benefits of the Abraham Path are highlighted, showing how peace initiatives can also improve local livelihoods.
  • 🌳 The acorn metaphor is used to envision the growth of the Abraham Path from a small beginning to a transformative force for peace and unity in the Middle East.

Q & A

  • What is the central theme of the story involving the three sons and the 17 camels?

    -The central theme is the resolution of a difficult negotiation by creatively finding an '18th camel', which symbolizes stepping back and looking at the situation with fresh eyes to find a solution that benefits all parties involved.

  • How does the wise old woman's offer of her camel resolve the conflict among the three sons?

    -The wise old woman's offer of her camel increases the total number of camels to 18, allowing each son to receive their respective shares (9, 6, and 2 camels) according to the will, and leaving one camel left over which they return to her, thus resolving the conflict.

  • What is the 'third side' in the context of conflict resolution mentioned in the script?

    -The 'third side' refers to the surrounding community, including friends, allies, family members, and neighbors, who can play a constructive role in resolving conflicts by reminding the parties of the bigger picture and the importance of reconciliation.

  • What is the significance of the story about the San Bushmen in South Africa?

    -The story of the San Bushmen illustrates a traditional method of conflict resolution where community members engage in open dialogue until a resolution or reconciliation is reached, emphasizing the importance of communication and patience in resolving disputes.

  • How does the concept of 'going to the balcony' help in negotiations?

    -'Going to the balcony' is a metaphor for taking a step back and gaining perspective in a negotiation, allowing individuals to respond calmly and constructively rather than reacting impulsively to provocations.

  • What is the 'Abraham Path' and how does it relate to conflict resolution?

    -The 'Abraham Path' is a symbolic route that retraces the footsteps of Abraham across the Middle East, promoting the values of unity, respect, and hospitality. It serves as a tool for fostering understanding and connection among diverse communities and countering religious intolerance.

  • How does the speaker suggest that the story of Abraham could be an antidote to terrorism?

    -The speaker suggests that the story of Abraham, which embodies hospitality and respect for strangers, can serve as an antidote to terrorism by promoting the opposite values: treating strangers as friends and fostering understanding and respect rather than fear and violence.

  • What is the economic potential of the 'Abraham Path' as mentioned in the script?

    -The economic potential of the 'Abraham Path' lies in its ability to stimulate local economies along the route through tourism. As people walk the path, they spend money on local goods and services, providing income and opportunities for communities that may be struggling.

  • How does the speaker describe the transformative power of the 'third side' in conflicts?

    -The speaker describes the 'third side' as a force that can change the narrative from hostility to hospitality and from conflict to cooperation. By engaging in acts of kindness and understanding, individuals can contribute to a more peaceful and unified world.

  • What is the speaker's final call to action for the audience?

    -The speaker's final call to action is to encourage the audience to take the 'third side' by engaging in conversations with people from different cultures, countries, or ethnicities, embodying the principles of the 'Abraham Path' and promoting peace and understanding.

  • What role does the story of Abraham play in the speaker's vision for peace in the Middle East?

    -The story of Abraham plays a central role in the speaker's vision for peace as it represents a shared heritage and values of unity and respect among the diverse groups in the Middle East. By reviving and living out the story, the speaker believes it can serve as a foundation for reconciliation and cooperation.

Outlines

00:00

πŸ” The Camel Conundrum: A Lesson in Creative Negotiation

The speaker begins with a Middle Eastern fable about a father who bequeaths 17 camels to his three sons, with each son receiving a fraction of the total that doesn't divide evenly. The sons' inability to divide the inheritance without conflict leads them to seek the advice of a wise old woman who offers her own camel as a solution. This addition of an '18th camel' allows for the fair division of the inheritance and leaves one camel to be returned to the wise woman. The story serves as a metaphor for difficult negotiations, suggesting that a creative solution or an external contribution can resolve seemingly intractable conflicts. The speaker emphasizes the importance of stepping back and viewing the situation with fresh eyes to find the '18th camel' in real-world conflicts.

05:00

🌟 The Power of the 'Third Side' in Conflict Resolution

The speaker delves into the concept of the 'third side' in conflict resolution, which represents the surrounding community and its potential to influence and mediate disputes. Drawing from personal experiences in South Africa and observing the San Bushmen's method of resolving conflicts through dialogue, the speaker illustrates how the 'third side' can remind parties of the bigger picture and the importance of reconciliation. The narrative highlights the need for perspective in conflicts and the role of the 'third side' in guiding parties to a 'balcony perspective,' allowing them to see beyond their immediate reactions and towards a resolution. The speaker also shares an anecdote from peace talks involving Russia and Chechnya, demonstrating how the 'third side' can help refocus discussions on the shared goal of ending suffering.

10:02

πŸ›€οΈ The Abraham Path: A Journey for Unity and Understanding

The speaker introduces the idea of the 'Abraham Path,' a symbolic journey retracing the steps of Abraham across the Middle East, as a means to promote unity, understanding, and hospitality. The speaker discusses the power of storytelling in shaping cultural identity and the significance of Abraham as a figure representing unity and respect for strangers. The 'Abraham Path' is presented as a potential antidote to terrorism and religious intolerance, encouraging people to embrace the values of hospitality and kindness. The speaker shares the experience of a group walk along the path, highlighting the personal connections and acts of kindness encountered, which embody the spirit of Abraham and serve to humanize and connect people across cultural and geographical divides.

15:04

🌳 The Oak Tree of Peace: Economic and Social Potential of the Abraham Path

In the final paragraph, the speaker discusses the broader implications and potential of the 'Abraham Path' beyond its symbolic and psychological impact. The path is likened to an acorn, suggesting its potential to grow into a mighty oak tree, symbolizing peace and prosperity. The speaker draws a parallel with post-World War II Europe, which transformed from a region of conflict to one of peace and unity. The 'Abraham Path' is envisioned as a catalyst for economic development in local communities along the route, as demonstrated by the story of Um Ahmad, who has found a means to support her family through cooking for walkers. The speaker concludes by inviting the audience to embrace the 'third side' in their daily interactions, emphasizing that each person can contribute to peace through simple acts of understanding and engagement.

Mindmap

Keywords

πŸ’‘Negotiation

Negotiation refers to the process of discussion between two or more parties to reach an agreement or compromise. In the video's theme, negotiation is central to resolving conflicts, as illustrated by the story of the three sons and the 17 camels, which demonstrates the need for creative solutions in difficult negotiations.

πŸ’‘Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is the process of resolving disputes or disagreements between parties. The video emphasizes the importance of finding constructive ways to address conflicts, such as stepping back to gain perspective or finding an '18th camel' to break deadlocks in negotiations.

πŸ’‘Third Side

The 'Third Side' is a concept introduced in the video that represents the surrounding community or individuals who are not directly involved in a conflict but can play a significant role in its resolution. The speaker uses the term to describe the collective effort of people to influence and mediate conflicts positively.

πŸ’‘Abraham Path

The 'Abraham Path' is a metaphorical and literal journey that retraces the steps of the patriarch Abraham across the Middle East. In the video, it serves as an example of how storytelling and shared history can foster unity and understanding among diverse cultures and communities.

πŸ’‘Hospitality

Hospitality, as discussed in the video, is the act of receiving guests with kindness and consideration. It is highlighted as a fundamental value exemplified by Abraham, which can serve as an antidote to terrorism and religious intolerance by promoting respect and kindness towards strangers.

πŸ’‘Unity

Unity is the state of being united or joined as a whole. The video uses the story of Abraham to illustrate the interconnectedness and unity of all people, suggesting that recognizing our shared heritage can help overcome divisions and conflicts.

πŸ’‘Terrorism

Terrorism is the use of violence and intimidation to achieve political aims. In the video, terrorism is contrasted with the hospitality of Abraham, highlighting the destructive nature of terrorism and the potential for positive values to counteract it.

πŸ’‘Cultural Exchange

Cultural exchange refers to the interaction and mutual influence of different cultures. The video promotes the idea of engaging with people from different backgrounds as a means of fostering peace and understanding, as exemplified by the Abraham Path initiative.

πŸ’‘Economic Potential

Economic potential refers to the capacity for economic growth or development. The video discusses how initiatives like the Abraham Path can have positive economic impacts on local communities, such as providing income opportunities through tourism.

πŸ’‘Peacebuilding

Peacebuilding is the process of establishing long-term peace and stability in conflict-affected areas. The speaker in the video suggests that by taking the 'Third Side' and engaging in peacebuilding activities, individuals can contribute to transforming conflicts and promoting peace.

πŸ’‘Anthropologist

An anthropologist is a social scientist who studies human societies and cultures and their development. The speaker, being an anthropologist, uses this perspective to analyze the roots of conflicts and the potential for shared narratives like that of Abraham to foster unity and peace.

Highlights

The story of dividing 17 camels among three sons, which led to a negotiation impasse, illustrates the challenge of resolving conflicts without a clear solution.

The introduction of an '18th camel' by a wise old woman symbolizes the need for innovative solutions in difficult negotiations.

The concept of humanity as one large family, connected by modern communication, is proposed as a basis for addressing global conflicts.

The importance of dealing with deep human differences and the propensity for conflict is emphasized as a central question for our time.

The speaker's life passion for finding '18th camels' in world conflicts is revealed, drawing on experiences from various regions.

The 'third side' theory is introduced, suggesting that the surrounding community can play a significant role in conflict resolution.

The San Bushmen's method of conflict resolution through dialogue and reconciliation is presented as an example of the 'third side' in action.

The idea of 'going to the balcony' as a metaphor for gaining perspective during conflict is introduced.

A personal anecdote from facilitating peace talks between Russia and Chechnya highlights the practical application of the 'third side' concept.

The Middle East conflict is discussed as an example of a complex situation where the 'third side' could potentially make a difference.

The power of stories in shaping human understanding and involvement in conflicts is underscored.

Abraham's story as an origin story for unity and respect in the Middle East is presented as a potential 'third side' narrative.

The concept of Abraham's hospitality as an antidote to terrorism and religious intolerance is explored.

The Abraham Path Initiative is introduced as a practical way to experience and spread the story of Abraham's values.

Personal experiences from walking the Abraham Path and the impact on local communities, including economic benefits, are shared.

The potential of the Abraham Path to change perceptions from hostility to hospitality and to stimulate economic growth is discussed.

The speaker concludes by encouraging the audience to take the 'third side' and engage in conversation as a step towards peace.

An African proverb about unity and peace is cited to inspire collective action against the forces of conflict.

Transcripts

play00:16

Well, the subject of difficult negotiation

play00:18

reminds me of one of my favorite stories from the Middle East,

play00:22

of a man who left to his three sons, 17 camels.

play00:26

To the first son, he left half the camels;

play00:28

to the second son, he left a third of the camels;

play00:30

and to the youngest son, he left a ninth of the camels.

play00:33

The three sons got into a negotiation -- 17 doesn't divide by two.

play00:37

It doesn't divide by three.

play00:38

It doesn't divide by nine.

play00:40

Brotherly tempers started to get strained.

play00:42

Finally, in desperation,

play00:44

they went and they consulted a wise old woman.

play00:47

The wise old woman thought about their problem for a long time,

play00:50

and finally she came back and said, "Well, I don't know if I can help you,

play00:54

but at least, if you want, you can have my camel."

play00:56

So then, they had 18 camels.

play00:58

The first son took his half -- half of 18 is nine.

play01:01

The second son took his third -- a third of 18 is six.

play01:03

The youngest son took his ninth -- a ninth of 18 is two.

play01:07

You get 17.

play01:09

They had one camel left over.

play01:11

They gave it back to the wise old woman.

play01:13

(Laughter)

play01:15

Now, if you think about that story for a moment,

play01:17

I think it resembles a lot of the difficult negotiations

play01:21

we get involved in.

play01:22

They start off like 17 camels, no way to resolve it.

play01:24

Somehow, what we need to do

play01:26

is step back from those situations, like that wise old woman,

play01:30

look at the situation through fresh eyes

play01:32

and come up with an 18th camel.

play01:35

Finding that 18th camel in the world's conflicts

play01:37

has been my life passion.

play01:40

I basically see humanity a bit like those three brothers.

play01:43

We're all one family.

play01:45

We know that scientifically,

play01:47

thanks to the communications revolution,

play01:49

all the tribes on the planet -- all 15,000 tribes --

play01:52

are in touch with each other.

play01:55

And it's a big family reunion.

play01:57

And yet, like many family reunions,

play01:59

it's not all peace and light.

play02:01

There's a lot of conflict,

play02:03

and the question is: How do we deal with our differences?

play02:07

How do we deal with our deepest differences,

play02:09

given the human propensity for conflict

play02:12

and the human genius at devising weapons of enormous destruction?

play02:16

That's the question.

play02:18

As I've spent the last better part of three decades, almost four,

play02:23

traveling the world,

play02:25

trying to work, getting involved in conflicts

play02:28

ranging from Yugoslavia to the Middle East

play02:32

to Chechnya to Venezuela --

play02:33

some of the most difficult conflicts on the face of the planet --

play02:36

I've been asking myself that question.

play02:39

And I think I've found, in some ways, what is the secret to peace.

play02:42

It's actually surprisingly simple.

play02:45

It's not easy, but it's simple.

play02:48

It's not even new.

play02:49

It may be one of our most ancient human heritages.

play02:53

The secret to peace is us.

play02:55

It's us who act as a surrounding community around any conflict,

play03:01

who can play a constructive role.

play03:03

Let me give you just a story, an example.

play03:07

About 20 years ago,

play03:08

I was in South Africa, working with the parties in that conflict,

play03:11

and I had an extra month,

play03:12

so I spent some time living with several groups of San Bushmen.

play03:17

I was curious about them, about the way in which they resolve conflict.

play03:21

Because, after all, within living memory, they were hunters and gatherers,

play03:25

living pretty much like our ancestors lived

play03:27

for maybe 99 percent of the human story.

play03:30

And all the men have these poison arrows that they use for hunting --

play03:33

absolutely fatal.

play03:35

So how do they deal with their differences?

play03:37

Well, what I learned is, whenever tempers rise in those communities,

play03:42

someone goes and hides the poison arrows out in the bush,

play03:45

and then everyone sits around in a circle like this,

play03:49

and they sit and they talk and they talk.

play03:52

It may take two days, three days, four days,

play03:54

but they don't rest until they find a resolution

play03:58

or better yet -- a reconciliation.

play04:00

And if tempers are still too high,

play04:02

then they send someone off to visit some relatives,

play04:04

as a cooling-off period.

play04:06

Well, that system is, I think, probably the system

play04:09

that kept us alive to this point,

play04:11

given our human tendencies.

play04:14

That system, I call "the third side."

play04:17

Because if you think about it, normally when we think of conflict,

play04:20

when we describe it,

play04:21

there's always two sides --

play04:23

it's Arabs versus Israelis, labor versus management,

play04:25

husband versus wife, Republicans versus Democrats.

play04:28

But what we don't often see

play04:30

is that there's always a third side,

play04:33

and the third side of the conflict is us, it's the surrounding community,

play04:36

it's the friends, the allies,

play04:38

the family members, the neighbors.

play04:40

And we can play an incredibly constructive role.

play04:43

Perhaps the most fundamental way in which the third side can help

play04:48

is to remind the parties of what's really at stake.

play04:51

For the sake of the kids, for the sake of the family,

play04:54

for the sake of the community, for the sake of the future,

play04:56

let's stop fighting for a moment and start talking.

play05:00

Because, the thing is,

play05:01

when we're involved in conflict,

play05:03

it's very easy to lose perspective.

play05:05

It's very easy to react.

play05:07

Human beings -- we're reaction machines.

play05:10

And as the saying goes,

play05:12

when angry, you will make the best speech

play05:14

you will ever regret.

play05:16

(Laughter)

play05:17

And so the third side reminds us of that.

play05:20

The third side helps us go to the balcony,

play05:22

which is a metaphor for a place of perspective,

play05:25

where we can keep our eyes on the prize.

play05:28

Let me tell you a little story from my own negotiating experience.

play05:31

Some years ago, I was involved as a facilitator in some very tough talks

play05:36

between the leaders of Russia and the leaders of Chechnya.

play05:40

There was a war going on, as you know.

play05:43

And we met in the Hague, in the Peace Palace,

play05:46

in the same room where the Yugoslav war-crimes tribunal was taking place.

play05:51

And the talks got off to a rather rocky start

play05:54

when the vice president of Chechnya began by pointing at the Russians

play05:57

and said, "You should stay right here in your seats,

play06:00

because you're going to be on trial for war crimes."

play06:03

And then he turned to me and said,

play06:04

"You're an American.

play06:06

Look at what you Americans are doing in Puerto Rico."

play06:09

And my mind started racing, "Puerto Rico? What do I know about Puerto Rico?"

play06:13

I started reacting.

play06:14

(Laughter)

play06:15

But then, I tried to remember to go to the balcony.

play06:18

And then when he paused

play06:19

and everyone looked at me for a response,

play06:21

from a balcony perspective, I was able to thank him for his remarks

play06:24

and say, "I appreciate your criticism of my country

play06:27

and I take it as a sign that we're among friends

play06:30

and can speak candidly to one another."

play06:32

(Laughter)

play06:33

"And what we're here to do is not to talk about Puerto Rico or the past.

play06:36

We're here to see if we can figure out a way

play06:38

to stop the suffering and the bloodshed in Chechnya."

play06:42

The conversation got back on track.

play06:44

That's the role of the third side,

play06:46

to help the parties go to the balcony.

play06:49

Now let me take you, for a moment,

play06:51

to what's widely regarded as the world's most difficult conflict,

play06:54

or the most impossible conflict, the Middle East.

play06:56

Question is: where's the third side there?

play07:00

How could we possibly go to the balcony?

play07:02

Now, I don't pretend to have an answer to the Middle East conflict,

play07:06

but I think I've got a first step -- literally, a first step --

play07:10

something that any one of us could do as third-siders.

play07:13

Let me just ask you one question first.

play07:15

How many of you in the last years

play07:20

have ever found yourself worrying about the Middle East

play07:23

and wondering what anyone could do?

play07:24

Just out of curiosity, how many of you?

play07:26

OK, so the great majority of us.

play07:29

And here, it's so far away.

play07:31

Why do we pay so much attention to this conflict?

play07:34

Is it the number of deaths?

play07:36

There are a hundred times more people who die in a conflict in Africa

play07:39

than in the Middle East.

play07:40

No, it's because of the story,

play07:42

because we feel personally involved in that story.

play07:46

Whether we're Christians, Muslims or Jews, religious or non-religious,

play07:50

we feel we have a personal stake in it.

play07:52

Stories matter;

play07:53

as an anthropologist, I know that.

play07:55

Stories are what we use to transmit knowledge.

play07:59

They give meaning to our lives.

play08:00

That's what we tell here at TED, we tell stories.

play08:03

Stories are the key.

play08:04

And so my question is --

play08:07

yes, let's try and resolve the politics there in the Middle East,

play08:11

but let's also take a look at the story.

play08:14

Let's try to get at the root of what it's all about.

play08:16

Let's see if we can apply the third side to it.

play08:19

What would that mean? What is the story there?

play08:22

Now, as anthropologists, we know that every culture has an origin story.

play08:26

What's the origin story of the Middle East?

play08:28

In a phrase, it's:

play08:30

Four thousand years ago,

play08:31

a man and his family walked across the Middle East,

play08:35

and the world has never been the same since.

play08:39

That man, of course, was Abraham.

play08:42

And what he stood for was unity, the unity of the family;

play08:46

he's the father of us all.

play08:48

But it's not just what he stood for, it's what his message was.

play08:51

His basic message was unity too,

play08:53

the interconnectedness of it all, the unity of it all.

play08:56

And his basic value was respect,

play08:59

was kindness toward strangers.

play09:01

That's what he's known for, his hospitality.

play09:05

So in that sense,

play09:06

he's the symbolic third side of the Middle East.

play09:10

He's the one who reminds us that we're all part of a greater whole.

play09:15

Now, think about that for a moment.

play09:19

Today, we face the scourge of terrorism.

play09:22

What is terrorism?

play09:24

Terrorism is basically taking an innocent stranger

play09:27

and treating them as an enemy whom you kill in order to create fear.

play09:32

What's the opposite of terrorism?

play09:35

It's taking an innocent stranger

play09:36

and treating them as a friend whom you welcome into your home,

play09:41

in order to sow and create understanding

play09:44

or respect, or love.

play09:46

So what if, then, you took the story of Abraham,

play09:51

which is a third-side story,

play09:53

what if that could be --

play09:55

because Abraham stands for hospitality --

play09:58

what if that could be an antidote to terrorism?

play10:01

What if that could be a vaccine against religious intolerance?

play10:05

How would you bring that story to life?

play10:08

Now, it's not enough just to tell a story.

play10:11

That's powerful, but people need to experience the story.

play10:14

They need to be able to live the story.

play10:16

How would you do that?

play10:17

And that was my thinking of how would you do that.

play10:20

And that's what comes to the first step here.

play10:22

Because the simple way to do that is:

play10:25

you go for a walk.

play10:26

You go for a walk in the footsteps of Abraham.

play10:30

You retrace the footsteps of Abraham.

play10:33

Because walking has a real power.

play10:36

You know, as an anthropologist, walking is what made us human.

play10:39

It's funny -- when you walk, you walk side-by-side,

play10:43

in the same common direction.

play10:46

Now if I were to come to you face-to-face

play10:48

and come this close to you,

play10:50

you would feel threatened.

play10:54

But if I walk shoulder-to-shoulder,

play10:57

even touching shoulders,

play10:58

it's no problem.

play11:00

Who fights while they walk?

play11:02

That's why in negotiations, often, when things get tough,

play11:05

people go for walks in the woods.

play11:07

So the idea came to me of, what about inspiring a path,

play11:13

a route -- think the Silk Route, think the Appalachian Trail --

play11:16

that followed in the footsteps of Abraham?

play11:21

People said, "That's crazy. You can't.

play11:22

You can't retrace the footsteps of Abraham -- it's too insecure,

play11:25

you've got to cross all these borders,

play11:27

it goes across 10 different countries in the Middle East,

play11:30

because it unites them all."

play11:32

And so we studied the idea at Harvard.

play11:34

We did our due diligence.

play11:35

And then a few years ago,

play11:36

a group of us, about 25 of us from 10 different countries,

play11:39

decided to see if we could retrace the footsteps of Abraham,

play11:42

going from his initial birthplace in the city of Urfa

play11:45

in Southern Turkey, Northern Mesopotamia.

play11:47

And we then took a bus and took some walks

play11:50

and went to Harran, where, in the Bible, he sets off on his journey.

play11:55

Then we crossed the border into Syria, went to Aleppo,

play11:57

which, turns out, is named after Abraham.

play11:59

We went to Damascus,

play12:01

which has a long history associated with Abraham.

play12:04

We then came to Northern Jordan,

play12:06

to Jerusalem -- which is all about Abraham -- to Bethlehem,

play12:11

and finally, to the place where he's buried, in Hebron.

play12:15

So effectively, we went from womb to tomb.

play12:17

We showed it could be done.

play12:18

It was an amazing journey.

play12:20

Let me ask you a question.

play12:22

How many of you have had the experience of being in a strange neighborhood

play12:26

or strange land,

play12:28

and a total stranger, perfect stranger,

play12:32

comes up to you and shows you some kindness --

play12:34

maybe invites you into their home, gives you a drink,

play12:37

gives you a coffee, gives you a meal?

play12:39

How many of you have ever had that experience?

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That's the essence of the Abraham Path.

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That's what you discover as you go into these villages in the Middle East

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where you expect hostility,

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and you get the most amazing hospitality,

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all associated with Abraham:

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"In the name of Father Ibrahim, let me offer you some food."

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So what we discovered

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is that Abraham is not just a figure out of a book for those people;

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he's alive, he's a living presence.

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And to make a long story short,

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in the last couple of years now,

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thousands of people have begun to walk parts of the path of Abraham

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in the Middle East,

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enjoying the hospitality of the people there.

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They've begun to walk in Israel and Palestine,

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in Jordan, in Turkey, in Syria.

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It's an amazing experience.

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Men, women, young people, old people --

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more women than men, actually, interestingly.

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For those who can't walk,

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who are unable to get there right now,

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people started to organize walks in cities, in their own communities.

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In Cincinnati, for instance, they organized a walk

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from a church to a mosque to a synagogue and all had an Abrahamic meal together.

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It was Abraham Path Day.

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In SΓ£o Paulo, Brazil, it's become an annual event

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for thousands of people to run in a virtual Abraham Path Run,

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uniting the different communities.

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The media love it; they really adore it.

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They lavish attention on it because it's visual

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and it spreads the idea,

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this idea of Abrahamic hospitality, of kindness towards strangers.

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And just a couple weeks ago, there was an NPR story on it.

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Last month,

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there was a piece in the Manchester Guardian about it,

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two whole pages.

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And they quoted a villager

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who said, "This walk connects us to the world."

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He said, "It was like a light that went on in our lives --

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it brought us hope."

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And so that's what it's about.

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But it's not just about psychology;

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it's about economics.

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Because as people walk, they spend money.

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And this woman right here, Um Ahmad,

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is a woman who lives on the path in Northern Jordan.

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She's desperately poor.

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She's partially blind, her husband can't work,

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she's got seven kids.

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But what she can do is cook.

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And so she's begun to cook for some groups of walkers

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who come through the village and have a meal in her home.

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They sit on the floor -- she doesn't even have a tablecloth.

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She makes the most delicious food,

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that's fresh from the herbs in the surrounding countryside.

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And so more and more walkers have come,

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and lately she's begun to earn an income to support her family.

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And so she told our team there, she said,

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"You have made me visible

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in a village where people were once ashamed to look at me."

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That's the potential of the Abraham Path.

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There are literally hundreds of those kinds of communities

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across the Middle East, across the path.

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The potential is basically to change the game.

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And to change the game, you have to change the frame, the way we see things --

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to change the frame from hostility to hospitality,

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from terrorism to tourism.

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And in that sense, the Abraham Path

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is a game-changer.

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Let me just show you one thing.

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I have a little acorn here

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that I picked up while I was walking on the path earlier this year.

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Now, the acorn is associated with the oak tree, of course --

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grows into an oak tree, which is associated with Abraham.

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The path right now is like an acorn;

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it's still in its early phase.

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What would the oak tree look like?

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When I think back to my childhood,

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a good part of which I spent, after being born here in Chicago,

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I spent in Europe.

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If you had been in the ruins of, say, London in 1945, or Berlin,

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and you had said,

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"Sixty years from now,

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this is going to be the most peaceful, prosperous part of the planet,"

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people would have thought you were certifiably insane.

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But they did it, thanks to a common identity, Europe,

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and a common economy.

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So my question is, if it can be done in Europe,

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why not in the Middle East?

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Why not, thanks to a common identity, which is the story of Abraham,

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and thanks to a common economy that would be based, in good part, on tourism?

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So let me conclude, then,

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by saying that in the last 35 years,

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as I've worked in some of the most dangerous,

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difficult and intractable conflicts around the planet,

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I have yet to see one conflict that I felt could not be transformed.

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It's not easy, of course.

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But it's possible.

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It was done in South Africa.

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It was done in Northern Ireland.

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It could be done anywhere.

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It simply depends on us.

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It depends on us taking the third side.

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So let me invite you to consider taking the third side,

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even as a very small step.

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We're about to take a break in a moment.

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Just go up to someone

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who's from a different culture, a different country,

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a different ethnicity -- some difference --

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and engage them in a conversation.

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Listen to them.

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That's a third-side act.

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That's walking Abraham's Path.

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After a TED Talk,

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why not a TED Walk?

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(Laughter)

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So let me just leave you with three things.

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One is, the secret to peace is the third side.

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The third side is us.

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Each of us, with a single step,

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can take the world, can bring the world

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a step closer to peace.

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There's an old African proverb that goes:

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"When spiderwebs unite,

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they can halt even the lion."

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If we're able to unite our third-side webs of peace,

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we can even halt the lion of war.

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Thank you very much.

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(Applause)

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Related Tags
Conflict ResolutionNegotiation SkillsCultural UnityMiddle EastAbraham's PathHospitalityPeacebuildingCommunity EngagementTerrorism AntidoteHuman Relations