How Long It Takes To Change Your Life? | Nwal Hadaki | TEDxSafirSchool

Summary

The video script dispels the myth that it takes 21 days to form a new habit or break an old one, citing Dr. Maxwell Maltz's theory and its popularity in self-development circles. Instead, it highlights a study by psychologist Philippe Lally, which suggests that habit formation can take anywhere from 2 to 8 months, averaging 66 days. The script emphasizes the importance of starting today, maintaining consistency, and embracing the process of gradual improvement without the pressure of perfection.

Takeaways

• 🌅 The desire for change often involves starting the day with healthy habits like an early rise, a good breakfast, and exercise.
• 🔄 Change is not easy and requires the incorporation of new habits while eliminating old ones that hinder progress.
• 📅 The common belief is that it takes 21 days to form a new habit or break an old one, but this is a myth.
• 👨‍⚕️ Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon, observed that his patients took about 21 days to adjust to changes in their physical appearance.
• 📚 Dr. Maltz's theory gained popularity through his book, contributing to the spread of the '21-day' concept in self-development literature.
• 🤔 The number 21 is appealing because it's short enough to be achievable yet long enough to seem like a significant challenge.
• 🏆 The actual time to form a habit varies greatly and depends on factors such as the complexity of the goal and the consistency of behavior.
• 📊 A study by psychologist Philippe Lally showed that forming a habit takes an average of 66 days, ranging from 18 to 254 days.
• 🛠️ The process of habit formation should include setting reminders, creating a supportive environment, and allowing for imperfection.
• 🔁 It's important to embrace the process and commit to making small, consistent improvements over time.
• 💪 Change is possible with dedication, and any habit can be reshaped with enough commitment and patience.

Q & A

What does the speaker suggest is the common belief about forming new habits?

The speaker suggests that the common belief is that it takes exactly 21 days for a person to form a new habit or get rid of an old one.

What was Dr. Maxwell Maltz's profession and what pattern did he observe among his patients?

Dr. Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1950s, and he observed that his patients took exactly 21 days to get used to seeing their new appearance or to acknowledge the feeling of a missing limb.

What is the main reason the 21-day theory became popular according to the script?

The 21-day theory became popular because the number 21 is considered a short period of time that is achievable and tempting, and it's long enough to be believable as a challenge.

What is the name of the study that provides a more accurate estimate for habit formation?

The study is titled 'How our habits form' and was conducted by psychologist Philippe Lally.

How long did the study by Philippe Lally follow participants for?

The study followed 96 people over a period of 12 weeks.

What was the approximate time frame found in the study for a task to become a habit?

The study found that it took approximately two to eight months for a task to become a habit, with an average of 66 days.

What factors did the study identify as affecting the speed of habit formation?

The study identified the complexity of the goal and behavior consistency as factors affecting the speed of habit formation.

What advice does the speaker give regarding the process of habit formation?

The speaker advises to start with the current day, maintain the new habit, set reminders, create a supportive environment, and understand that making a mistake once or twice does not have lasting effects on behavior.

What is the speaker's view on the importance of time in forming a new habit?

The speaker believes that the time it takes to form a new habit is less important than the commitment to start and maintain the habit.

What is the speaker's final message to the audience about becoming the best version of oneself?

The speaker's final message is to commit to the system, embrace the process, and make tiny improvements rather than rushing, as change is not always easy or simple but can be achieved with dedication.

Outlines

00:00

🛌 The Myth of 21-Day Habit Formation

This paragraph delves into the common belief that it takes 21 days to form a new habit or break an old one, a myth popularized by Dr. Maxwell Maltz's observations of his patients' adjustment to changes in their physical appearance. The speaker humorously recounts their failed attempt to make their bed for 21 days as a habit, highlighting the difficulty of sticking to new routines. It also questions the origin of the 21-day theory, explaining that Dr. Maltz's book, which sold over 30 million copies, contributed to its widespread acceptance. The paragraph emphasizes the allure of the 21-day timeframe as being short enough to be tempting yet long enough to be believable, and it sets the stage for debunking this myth in the subsequent discussion.

05:01

🏋️‍♂️ The Reality of Habit Formation: Time and Consistency

In this paragraph, the speaker addresses the actual process of habit formation, referencing a study by psychologist Philippe Lally that followed 96 individuals over 12 weeks as they attempted to establish new habits. The study revealed that the time required to form a habit varied significantly among participants, ranging from 18 to 254 days, with an average of 66 days. Factors such as the complexity of the goal and the consistency of behavior were identified as influencing the speed of habit formation. The speaker emphasizes that the journey to change is not as quick as the 21-day myth suggests, and it can take anywhere from 2 to 8 months. The importance of starting the process and maintaining the habit, even with occasional mistakes, is underscored. The paragraph concludes with encouragement to commit to the process of self-improvement, embracing gradual progress rather than seeking instant results.

Keywords

💡Change

Change refers to the act or instance of making or becoming different. In the context of the video, it is the central theme where the speaker discusses the desire to become the 'best version of oneself.' The speaker emphasizes that change is not easy and requires the incorporation of new habits and the elimination of old ones. For example, the script mentions the idea of waking up early, having a healthy breakfast, and going for a morning jog as part of the change process.

💡Habits

Habits are regular practices or routines that tend to occur subconsciously. The video discusses the importance of forming new habits to achieve personal growth and the difficulty of eliminating those that hinder progress. The script uses the example of making a bed every day for 21 days as an attempt to form a new habit, which ultimately fails, illustrating the complexity of habit formation.

💡21-day theory

The 21-day theory is a popular belief that it takes exactly 21 days to form a new habit or get rid of an old one. The video debunks this myth by explaining its origin from Dr. Maxwell Maltz's observations and pointing out that the actual time required can vary greatly. The script uses this theory as a starting point to delve into the reality of habit formation.

💡Self-development

Self-development refers to the process of improving one's skills, knowledge, and personal growth. The video is rooted in the self-development genre, offering insights into how individuals can change their lives for the better. The speaker critiques the 21-day theory as a myth within self-development circles and provides a more nuanced view on the process of change.

💡Complexity

Complexity in the video refers to the level of difficulty or intricacy of a habit one is trying to form or abandon. It is one of the factors that can affect the time needed to establish a new habit. The script contrasts the simplicity of eating fruit daily with the complexity of learning a tennis serve to illustrate how different habits may require different amounts of time to become ingrained.

💡Behavior consistency

Behavior consistency is the degree to which a behavior is repeated in the same way over time. The video highlights its importance in habit formation, suggesting that the frequency and regularity of performing a new behavior can influence how quickly it becomes a habit. The script provides the example of repeating a behavior for different durations to show the impact on habit acquisition speed.

💡Philippe Lally

Philippe Lally is a psychologist whose study on habit formation is cited in the video. His research, titled 'How our habits form,' followed 96 people over 12 weeks as they attempted to establish new habits. The video uses Lally's findings to argue against the 21-day theory and to provide a more accurate timeframe for habit formation.

💡Dedication

Dedication is the commitment to a task or purpose. In the video, dedication is portrayed as a key factor in reshaping habits and achieving personal change. The speaker encourages the audience to commit to the process of self-improvement, emphasizing that it is a gradual journey rather than a quick fix.

💡Perfection

Perfection in the context of the video refers to the unrealistic expectation of flawlessly executing a new habit from the start. The speaker advises against striving for perfection, suggesting that making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process and does not undermine the formation of a new habit.

💡System

A system in the video represents a set of interconnected rules or processes that form the basis for habit formation. The speaker encourages the audience to commit to a system of habit formation, which involves making small, consistent improvements over time rather than seeking immediate perfection.

💡Process

Process refers to a series of actions or steps taken to achieve a particular end. The video emphasizes the importance of embracing the process of change, suggesting that personal growth is a journey that requires patience and persistence. The speaker uses the process to illustrate the gradual nature of becoming the best version of oneself.

Highlights

The idea of becoming the best version of oneself requires incorporating new habits and eliminating old ones.

The commonly believed 21-day theory for habit formation is a myth.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz observed that his patients took 21 days to adjust to physical changes, leading to the 21-day theory.

The number 21 is seen as a short, achievable period for self-improvement.

The 21-day theory is appealing because it suggests a short-term commitment for significant life changes.

The actual time to form a habit varies greatly and is influenced by several factors.

Philippe Lally's study shows that habit formation can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days.

The complexity of the habit and behavior consistency are key factors in habit formation time.

The study followed 96 people over 12 weeks to understand the habit formation process.

The average time to form a habit is 66 days, but it ranges from person to person.

It's important to start working on new habits today and not focus solely on the time it takes.

Maintaining a new habit involves setting reminders and creating a supportive environment.

Perfection is not required; making mistakes is part of the habit formation process.

Committing to the process and making small improvements is more effective than rushing for quick results.

Dedication is key to reshaping any habit, regardless of the difficulty.

Encouragement to start working on becoming the best version of oneself today.

Transcripts

Transcriber: نوير القحطاني Reviewer: Gia Bảo Nguyễn

Have you ever thought to yourself before going to sleep?

Tomorrow is the day I’ll change,

tomorrow is the day I’ll get up early in the morning,

have a healthy breakfast,

go for a morning jog,

breath fresh air.

Tomorrow is the day,

I want to change to who I really want to be,

“The best version of myself”.

Well, change doesn’t come easy.

You have to incorporate certain habits in your life

that all eventually lead to you

becoming the best version of yourself.

You also have to eliminate certain habits

that are hindering your path.

Well, how long will it take you

to form a new habit or get rid of an old one?

Most people will tell you it takes exactly 21 days

for a person to form a habit or get rid of an old one.

I remember once in highschool,

when my teachers told me:

“It takes exactly 21 days for me

to form a new habit”.

And I thought,

this is my chance to become

a bed maker.

I thought that for the next 21 days,

instead of getting up every day and yelling:

“Mom, please don’t forget to make my bed today”.

I thought I’ll do it myself.

Day by day,

early in the morning,

6 a.m.

Even on days I was running late,

I got up every morning and I made my bed.

And I hated every seconds of it.

And by day 22

I opened my eyes

and the first thing I did was

say “Mom”

“please don’t forget to make my bed today”.

I quit.

and of course that was expected.

And I thought, okay,

maybe I’m just gonna be a little bit worse at life

than bed makers.

Whatever,

I do not exaggerate,

if I say that this 21 day theory

is the most famous myth

in the world of self-development

Let’s dive a little into our theory

to understand where the number 21 came from

and the reasons for its spread in self-developmental books and courses.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz was a plastic surgeon in the 1950s,

when he began noticing a strange pattern among his patients.

for example, in a nose job,

he saw that the patient took exactly 21 days

to get used to start seeing his or her new nose.

He also noticed that if a patient had an arm or leg amputated,

the patient would acknowledge the feeling of their new limb

for exactly 21 days

before starting to get used

with their new condition.

Dr.Maltz published his theory

in a book that went very famous in that era

and sold over 30 million copies.

And here,

the conflict started brewing

and it makes sense why people were starting to believe his theory.

why?

Number one,

the number 21

is considered a short period of time

and that’s also considered a short of temptation

which means something you can do.

Number two,

the number 21 is also long enough to be believable

a difficult challenge

but not impossible.

I mean, who wouldn’t love to change their whole life

within just 21 days.

Wouldn’t you love to start waking up early in the morning every day?

Wouldn’t you love to start cooking healthy recipes?

wouldn’t you love to start drinking weird smoothies?

And all within less than one month!

We’d go for it in a heartbeat.

So is it true?

Can we really change our lives within 21 days?

I know that sounds very exciting,

but there are actually a few factors you’d have to consider

to be able to estimate the time and it will take you

to form a new habit

or to get rid of an old toxic one.

Number one,

is the complexity of your goal

If I decide to start eating fruit daily

which is considered a simple habit,

I’d probably take less time

than if I want to acquire a complex athletic skill,

like a tennis serve.

Number two,

behavior consistency affects the speed of acquisition.

Me repeating a certain behavior for 3 minutes a day

is different than my friend repeating the same behavior

for 30 minutes a day.

So, we want to clear things up.

How long will it takes us

to form a new habit or get rid of an old one?

And is there a reliable study that we can depend on?

Answer is yes.

There is a famous study by the psychologist “Philippe Lally”,

titled “how our habits formed”.

The study followed 96 people

over a period of 12 weeks.

Each person chose a new 12-week habit to work on,

such as, drinking 3 cups of water before lunch

or running for 15 minutes after dinner.

After 12 weeks, the data was analyzed to determine the time needed

to move from the old habit

to start subconsciously carrying out the new one.

And after 12 weeks, we found that it took approximately

two to eight months,

in order for the task to become a habit.

And 66 days

to be exact.

The difference in time it took to form a habit

was largely due to the task itself,

the person,

and their circumstances,

as some were able to form the habit within 18 days

while other is took 254 days.

So, according to psychologist “Lally”

If you want to know the time required to form a new habit

or get rid of an old one,

the truth is that you may need 2 to 8 months

and not just 21 days.

Guys,

whether it is two months,

three months,

a year,

two years,

it doesn’t actually matter how long it takes

as much as it matters that you have to begin with today.

And once you begin,

make sure to maintain your new habit,

make it a part of your schedule,

set reminders

create a supportive environment

and most importantly

you don’t have to be perfect,

making a mistake once or twice

has no lasting effects on your behavior.

Actually, that will give you time

not to rush yourself into things,

you have to give yourself time

and not just rush yourself into becoming a better version.

If i want to become a better person,

I will have to commit to the system

and embrace the process.

That way,

I will commit to making tiny improvements

rather than rushing myself too hard into things.

Change is not always easy

and it is not always simple,

but with enough dedication,

any habit can be reshaped.

So, if you really want it,

becoming the best version of yourself,

get up today and start working on it,

I promise you all get there

Thank you.

(Applause)