Reading minds through body language | Lynne Franklin | TEDxNaperville

Summary

In this insightful presentation, Lynne Franklin introduces the concept of mind-reading through understanding body language. She explains that people process information in three distinct ways, which are reflected in their body language: as 'lookers' who think in images, 'listeners' who think in words and sounds, and 'touchers' who think in feelings and tactile sensations. By recognizing these styles, one can adapt their communication to build rapport and increase persuasiveness. Franklin provides practical tips on how to identify and interact with each type, emphasizing the importance of matching verbal and non-verbal cues to connect more effectively with others.

Takeaways

• 🧠 People's brains process information in three different ways, which can be identified through body language.
• 👀 Understanding someone's primary thinking style can help in presenting information effectively and increasing the chances of agreement.
• 🙅‍♀️ Body language cues are not always straightforward; for example, a person looking down does not necessarily mean they are uncomfortable or uninterested.
• 👦 James represents 'lookers', who think in pictures and images, and make up 75% of the world's population.
• 👚 'Lookers' can be identified by their good posture, stress in shoulders, wrinkles in forehead, thin lips, and frequent eye contact.
• 👁️ To build rapport with 'lookers', use lots of eye contact and visual language like 'I see what you mean'.
• 👂 Marge represents 'listeners', who think in words and sounds, and make up 20% of the world's population.
• 📚 'Listeners' can be identified by their less focus on appearance, tendency to look down and to the left, head in hand, and mumbling to themselves.
• 🗣️ To appeal to 'listeners', avoid constant eye contact and use auditory language such as 'That sounds good to me'.
• 🤗 Marina represents 'touchers', who think in feelings and tactilely, and make up 5% of the world's population.
• 💋 'Touchers' can be identified by their readiness to hug, comfort over style in dressing, full lips, leaning in, and reaching out to touch.
• 🤝 To build rapport with 'touchers', allow them to touch you if comfortable, and use language that reflects feelings and touch like 'Reach out and tell me what you think'.
• 🤔 An individual's thinking style can be determined by how they remember important memories: visually, auditorily, or kinesthetically.
• 🔑 By observing body language and language use, one can adapt their communication style to build rapport and persuade more effectively.
• 📧 Even in written communication, one can identify a person's thinking style through the type of language they use, which can guide how to respond.

Q & A

What is the main premise of Lynne Franklin's presentation?

Lynne Franklin's presentation is about understanding how people's brains process information differently and how to read their body language to communicate more effectively with them.

According to Lynne, what percentage of the world's population does James represent and what does it mean?

James represents 75% of the world's population and is identified as a 'looker', meaning their brain processes information primarily in pictures and images.

What are the key body language indicators that Lynne mentions to identify a 'looker'?

Key indicators for a 'looker' include standing tall with good posture, dressing well, holding stress in the shoulders, having wrinkles in the forehead, thin lips, and giving lots of eye contact.

How should one build rapport with a 'looker' according to Lynne?

To build rapport with a 'looker', one should give them lots of eye contact and use language with a visual component, such as phrases like 'I see what you mean' or 'Let's picture working together this way'.

What percentage of the world's population does Marge represent and what is her primary thinking style?

Marge represents 20% of the world's population and is identified as a 'listener', meaning her brain processes information primarily in words and sounds.

What are some body language cues that suggest someone is a 'listener'?

Cues for a 'listener' include not being as well-dressed, looking down and to the left, putting their head in their hand in 'telephone posture', mumbling to themselves, and being the 'pen clicker' or 'banger of the pen on the table'.

How can one appeal to 'listeners' effectively?

To appeal to 'listeners', one should avoid giving them too much eye contact as it can be overwhelming, and use auditory language, such as 'That sounds good to me' or 'Let's talk this over'.

What percentage of the world's population does Marina represent and what is her primary thinking style?

Marina represents 5% of the world's population and is a 'toucher', meaning her brain processes information primarily through feelings and tactile sensations.

What are the typical body language characteristics of a 'toucher'?

Characteristics of a 'toucher' include being ready to hug even strangers, dressing for comfort over style, having full lips, leaning in during conversations, reaching out to touch others' arms, and looking down when recalling memories.

How can one build rapport with 'touchers'?

To build rapport with 'touchers', one should allow them to touch if comfortable, or provide a point of contact like a handshake if not. Also, using language with a feeling or tactile component, such as 'I want to hear how you're feeling about this', can be effective.

What exercise does Lynne suggest to determine an individual's primary thinking style?

Lynne suggests closing one's eyes and remembering an important memory, paying attention to whether the memory is recalled as a movie of images, as words or sounds, or as feelings and tactile sensations, which correspond to being a 'looker', 'listener', or 'toucher', respectively.

What is the ultimate goal of understanding and adapting to different thinking styles according to Lynne?

The ultimate goal is to become a more persuasive and effective communicator by building rapport with all kinds of different people, regardless of their primary thinking style.

How can one determine the thinking style of someone they are not in the same physical space with?

One can determine the thinking style of someone remotely by paying attention to the words they use in phone conversations or written communication, as 'lookers' use visual language, 'listeners' use auditory words, and 'touchers' use feeling or kinesthetic language.