How to be confident (even if you’re not) | Montana von Fliss | TEDxBellevueWomen

Summary

In this inspiring talk, the speaker shares five key strategies to appear confident, even when feeling nervous. Through engaging anecdotes and tips, they explain how physical presence, vocal energy, and purposeful pauses can instantly boost confidence. The importance of body language, like a superhero stance, is emphasized, alongside the value of practice and rehearsing with purpose. The final key is adopting a 'silent sentence,' a positive internal mantra that aligns one's goals and mindset. These techniques are designed to help speakers connect with their audience and deliver a compelling, confident presentation.

Takeaways

• 😀 Be the Captain: As a speaker, how you show up is crucial. Just like a captain leads a journey, you lead your audience.
• 😀 Speak with Energy: Even raising your energy a little makes you sound more confident. Aim for a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, and it’ll sound natural and confident.
• 😀 Use Pauses Effectively: Nervous speakers rush, but strategic pauses can add impact and help you feel more in control of your delivery.
• 😀 Adopt a Superhero Stance: Confident body language can make a huge difference. Even pretending to be a superhero can help you appear more confident.
• 😀 Practice with Purpose: Rehearse daily with specific goals. Repetition helps you internalize your message and improves your overall confidence.
• 😀 Craft Your Silent Sentence: What you tell yourself internally affects your performance. A positive, purpose-driven internal message can boost confidence.
• 😀 Video Yourself: Watching recordings of your practice sessions helps identify areas for improvement and ensures you're authentically confident.
• 😀 Don't Fear Over-Practice: Repetition is key. The more you practice, the more confident and natural your delivery will feel.
• 😀 Embrace the Uncomfortable: Practicing new techniques might feel awkward at first, but it’s a necessary part of building confidence.
• 😀 Focus on Your Audience: Your purpose should be to help your audience. When you focus on what you can offer them, your nerves will settle and your confidence will rise.

Q & A

What is the main concept the speaker is conveying in the script?

The speaker emphasizes the importance of confidently showing up as a speaker by making intentional physical, vocal, and mental choices, regardless of actual feelings of nervousness or insecurity. The focus is on appearing confident through techniques like energy, pausing, body language, and the 'silent sentence.'

How can a speaker look confident even if they don't feel confident?

A speaker can look confident by making specific vocal and physical choices, such as turning up their energy, speaking up, using pauses strategically, adopting a superhero stance, and practicing with purpose. These choices help convey confidence to the audience, even if the speaker doesn't feel it internally.

What is the importance of pausing during a speech, according to the speaker?

Pausing strategically is crucial as it helps manage nervousness and allows the speaker to emphasize key points. Pausing also gives the speaker time to collect their thoughts and makes the delivery appear more controlled and confident.

What is the 'silent sentence' and why is it important?

The 'silent sentence' is a positive, purposeful statement that a speaker tells themselves before and during a performance. It serves as a mental anchor, replacing negative thoughts with a focused, helpful message that aligns with the speaker's deeper purpose. This enhances confidence and stage presence.

How does the superhero stance contribute to confidence in speaking?

Adopting a superhero stance, even while seated, helps change a speaker's body language to appear more confident. The posture improves energy, facial expressions, and eye contact, making the speaker appear more authoritative and assured.

What is the connection between practice and confidence in public speaking?

Practice is essential for building confidence, as it allows speakers to refine their delivery, incorporate new techniques, and become comfortable with the material. Consistent practice helps speakers feel more prepared and reduces anxiety on performance day.

What should a speaker do if they feel nervous before speaking?

If nervous, a speaker can use their 'silent sentence' to reframe their mindset, focusing on their deeper purpose and goal. This helps override negative thoughts and refocus on the audience's needs, allowing the speaker to perform with confidence.

What role does energy play in sounding confident?

Energy plays a significant role in sounding confident. Speaking with increased energy (on a scale of 1 to 10, aiming for a 5) helps the speaker appear more engaged and assured. A moderate level of energy conveys confidence without coming across as overwhelming or shouting.

What is the suggested strategy for rehearsing before a speaking event?

The speaker suggests creating a rehearsal schedule, practicing daily with specific goals, and running through the material multiple times. Practicing out loud, imagining the audience, and incorporating new techniques each day help reinforce confidence and preparation.

What can speakers do to enhance their stage presence?

Speakers can enhance their stage presence by adopting confident body language (such as the superhero stance), using purposeful pauses, maintaining good posture, and integrating a 'silent sentence' that aligns with their deeper purpose. This combination makes them appear present and engaged, contributing to a stronger connection with the audience.