Why our screens make us less happy | Adam Alter

Summary

The speaker explores the concept of 'dogfooding' in business, where leaders use their own products to show confidence. However, he highlights a paradox in the tech industry, where even tech giants like Steve Jobs limited their children's screen time. Drawing from his research as a professor, he reveals the increasing encroachment of screens on our personal time and suggests strategies to reclaim it. The talk emphasizes the importance of balancing screen use with real-life experiences to enrich our lives.

Takeaways

• 🐶 'Dogfooding' is a business strategy where company leaders use their own products to demonstrate confidence in them.
• 📱 In the tech industry, it's common for people to not use the products they create, as seen with Steve Jobs limiting his children's use of technology.
• 🏫 The Waldorf School of the Peninsula, near Silicon Valley, delays screen introduction until 8th grade and has many tech executive parents, indicating a concern about early screen exposure.
• ⏱ The amount of personal time taken up by screens has significantly increased over the years, impacting our personal and creative lives.
• 🌞 Personal time is crucial for individuality, hobbies, relationships, creativity, and reflection on life's meaning.
• 📊 The script presents a visual comparison of screen time across different years, showing a substantial increase in recent times.
• 📱 Screens have benefits, such as enabling long-distance connections, but they also encroach on our personal time.
• 🛑 The lack of 'stopping cues' in digital media consumption leads to longer, uninterrupted usage, which can be detrimental.
• 🌍 Strategies from Western Europe, like automatic desk raising and email deletion during vacation, provide examples of effective stopping cues in the workplace.
• 🍽 The speaker suggests personal strategies, like no phone use at the dinner table, as a way to create stopping cues and improve life quality.
• 🚶‍♂️ The script concludes with a metaphor about choosing to deeply experience life or passively observe it through screens, advocating for a mindful approach to technology use.

Q & A

What is the term 'dogfooding' and how is it used in the business world?

The term 'dogfooding' originated from a rumor about a pet food company executive who would eat a can of dog food at shareholder meetings to demonstrate the product's quality. In the business world, 'dogfooding' refers to the practice of businesspeople using their own products to show confidence in them, although it doesn't literally involve eating dog food.

Why is it surprising that Steve Jobs limited his children's use of technology?

It is surprising because Steve Jobs, as the CEO of Apple, was a prominent figure in the tech industry and was known for his enthusiasm about technology. His statement to a journalist that his children did not use the iPad and that he limited their technology use at home contradicts the image of a tech executive who would be expected to fully embrace and promote the use of such devices.

What is the Waldorf School of the Peninsula and why is it notable in the context of the tech industry?

The Waldorf School of the Peninsula is a school near Silicon Valley that does not introduce screens to its students until the eighth grade. It is notable because 75 percent of the students there have parents who are high-level Silicon Valley tech executives, indicating a trend among tech insiders to limit their children's exposure to screens.

What is the significance of the 'white space' in the context of the script?

The 'white space' in the script refers to personal time outside of work and survival activities. It is significant because it represents the time where individuals engage in activities that define their individuality, such as hobbies, relationships, creativity, and reflection on life's meaning.

How has the introduction of the iPhone in 2007 impacted the amount of personal time spent on screens?

The introduction of the iPhone in 2007 marked a significant increase in the amount of personal time spent on screens. The script illustrates this with a visual comparison showing an increase in screen time from 2007 to 2015 and even more so in the present day.

What are 'stopping cues' and why have they become less prevalent with modern technology?

Stopping cues are signals that indicate it's time to move on or do something different. They were common in the 20th century with media like newspapers, magazines, and TV shows that had clear endings. However, modern technology, particularly social media and news feeds, lacks these cues, leading to endless scrolling and consumption without breaks.

What strategies are mentioned in the script to create stopping cues and manage screen time?

The script mentions several strategies: a Dutch design firm that raises desks to the ceiling at 6pm, Daimler's approach of deleting emails sent during an employee's vacation, and the speaker's personal rule of not using his phone at the dinner table.

How does the speaker suggest we can make our lives richer and more meaningful?

The speaker suggests that by setting boundaries with screens, such as not using phones at the dinner table or putting them on airplane mode during certain times, we can create more meaningful experiences and conversations, leading to a richer and more fulfilling life.

What is the main message of the speaker regarding our relationship with screens?

The main message is that while screens and technology are miraculous and have their benefits, the way we use them can be detrimental to our personal lives. It's important to be mindful of screen time and to intentionally create boundaries to ensure a balanced and meaningful life.

What is the impact of using enriching apps versus apps that don't make us happy, according to the script?

The script indicates that enriching apps, such as those focused on relaxation, exercise, weather, reading, education, and health, make people feel good and are used for an average of nine minutes a day. In contrast, apps that don't make us happy, like dating, social networking, gaming, entertainment, news, and web browsing, are used for three times longer but make us feel less happy.

How does the speaker describe the experience of overcoming the urge to use a phone during dinner?

The speaker describes the initial experience as challenging, with a strong sense of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). However, over time, one gets used to it, overcomes the withdrawal similar to overcoming addiction, and life becomes more colorful, richer, and more interesting.

Outlines

00:00

🍽️ Dogfooding and Tech Industry Exceptions

The speaker introduces the concept of 'dogfooding,' a business practice where company leaders use their own products to demonstrate confidence in them. This is common in many industries, but the tech industry, particularly screen-based technology, stands out as an exception. The example of Steve Jobs, who praised the iPad but limited his children's use of technology, illustrates this point. The speaker also mentions the Waldorf School of the Peninsula, where high-level tech executives send their children and delay screen introduction until the eighth grade. This leads the speaker to question the impact of screens on personal lives and society, setting the stage for a discussion on the effects of screen time.

05:02

🕒 The Impact of Screen Time on Personal Time

The speaker discusses the increasing amount of time people spend on screens, comparing the average 24-hour workday across three different years: 2007, 2015, and recent data. Despite some activities remaining constant like sleep and work hours, the time spent on screens has significantly increased, encroaching on personal time. This personal time is crucial for individuality, hobbies, relationships, creativity, and reflection on life's meaning. The speaker then explores the quality of time spent on screens, noting that some apps contribute positively to well-being, while others, such as dating, social networking, gaming, entertainment, news, and web browsing, do not enhance happiness and are used disproportionately longer. The speaker suggests that the lack of 'stopping cues' in digital media, unlike traditional media, contributes to excessive screen time.

🛑 Creating Stopping Cues to Regain Personal Time

The speaker addresses the issue of excessive screen time by proposing the creation of 'stopping cues' to signal when to move on from screens. They highlight examples from Western Europe, such as a Dutch design firm that physically raises desks at the end of the workday and a German car company that deletes emails sent during employees' vacations. The speaker then offers personal strategies, such as not using phones at the dinner table, to create stopping cues and resist the temptation of screens. They share that this practice leads to a richer and more meaningful life, with better conversations and deeper connections. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of balancing the benefits of screens with the need to engage in real-life experiences.

Keywords

💡Dogfooding

Dogfooding is a term that originated from the practice where a company's executive would consume their own product, such as the head of a pet food company eating dog food, to demonstrate confidence in its quality. In the context of the video, it represents the idea that businesspeople use their own products to show their belief in them. The concept is used to contrast with the tech industry, where many do not use their own products personally.

💡Tech Industry

The tech industry refers to the sector of the economy that deals with the development, production, and distribution of technological goods and services. The script highlights that this industry is an exception to the 'dogfooding' practice, with many tech executives not using their own products, especially around their children, which raises questions about the impact of technology on personal life.

💡Screen-based Tech

Screen-based tech refers to technology that is primarily accessed and used through screens, such as smartphones, tablets, and computers. The video discusses how this type of technology is pervasive but can also be detrimental to personal time and relationships, as it consumes a significant portion of our daily lives.

💡Personal Time

Personal time is the portion of the day allocated for individual activities, hobbies, relationships, and reflection. The script emphasizes the importance of personal time for personal growth and well-being. It also shows how the increasing use of screen-based technology is encroaching upon this valuable time.

💡Stopping Cues

Stopping cues are signals or prompts that indicate the end of an activity or the need to move on to something else. In the context of the video, the lack of stopping cues in digital media consumption, such as endless social media feeds, contributes to excessive screen time and detracts from personal time.

💡Enriching Apps

Enriching apps are applications that contribute positively to one's life, often by promoting relaxation, exercise, learning, or other beneficial activities. The video mentions that people tend to feel good about using these apps and spend less time on them compared to apps that do not enrich their lives.

💡Non-Enriching Apps

Non-enriching apps are those that do not contribute positively to one's well-being or happiness. Examples given in the script include dating apps, social networking, gaming, and news apps. People spend more time on these apps, which can lead to feelings of unhappiness and detract from personal time.

💡Work-Life Balance

Work-life balance refers to the equilibrium between time allocated to work and personal life. The video script discusses strategies used by companies, such as the Dutch design firm with retractable desks, to ensure employees have a clear stopping point for work and do not encroach upon personal time.

💡Digital Detox

Digital detox is the practice of taking a break from digital devices and technology to improve mental health and well-being. The speaker in the video suggests strategies for reducing screen time, such as not using phones at the dinner table, as a form of digital detox that can lead to a richer and more meaningful life.

💡FOMO

FOMO stands for 'Fear Of Missing Out' and is the anxiety that an individual might miss out on an interesting or enjoyable event or experience happening elsewhere. The script mentions that initially, setting boundaries on screen time can cause FOMO, but overcoming this can lead to a more fulfilling life.

Highlights

The concept of 'dogfooding' is introduced, where business leaders use their own products to demonstrate confidence in them.

Steve Jobs, despite praising the iPad, limited his children's use of technology at home.

The tech industry is highlighted as an exception to the 'dogfooding' rule, with many tech executives not using their own products.

The Waldorf School of the Peninsula is mentioned as an example where screen-based technology is limited until the eighth grade, with many tech exec parents.

The speaker has been studying the effects of screens on our lives for five years.

The average 24-hour workday is analyzed across different years, showing how personal time has been reduced.

The importance of personal time for individuality and creativity is emphasized.

The increase in screen time from 2007 to the present is shown, highlighting the reduction of personal time.

The speaker discusses the positive aspects of screens, such as facilitating long-distance family connections.

Different apps are categorized based on their enriching or depleting effects on users' happiness.

The average time spent on enriching apps versus depleting apps is compared.

The concept of 'stopping cues' is introduced to explain why people spend more time on certain apps.

Examples from Western Europe are given to illustrate effective workplace stopping rules.

A personal strategy of not using phones at the dinner table is suggested to reclaim personal time.

The benefits of implementing stopping cues in personal life are discussed, such as improved conversations and connections.

The analogy of a fast road trip is used to illustrate the choice between passive consumption and active engagement with life.

The conclusion emphasizes the importance of balancing screen use to enrich life experiences.

Transcripts

So, a few years ago I heard an interesting rumor.

Apparently, the head of a large pet food company

would go into the annual shareholder's meeting

with can of dog food.

And he would eat the can of dog food.

And this was his way of convincing them that if it was good enough for him,

it was good enough for their pets.

This strategy is now known as "dogfooding,"

and it's a common strategy in the business world.

It doesn't mean everyone goes in and eats dog food,

but businesspeople will use their own products

to demonstrate that they feel --

that they're confident in them.

Now, this is a widespread practice,

but I think what's really interesting is when you find exceptions

to this rule,

when you find cases of businesses or people in businesses

who don't use their own products.

Turns out there's one industry where this happens in a common way,

in a pretty regular way,

and that is the screen-based tech industry.

So, in 2010, Steve Jobs, when he was releasing the iPad,

described the iPad as a device that was "extraordinary."

"The best browsing experience you've ever had;

way better than a laptop, way better than a smartphone.

It's an incredible experience."

A couple of months later, he was approached by a journalist

from the New York Times,

and they had a long phone call.

At the end of the call,

the journalist threw in a question that seemed like a sort of softball.

He said to him, "Your kids must love the iPad."

There's an obvious answer to this,

but what Jobs said really staggered the journalist.

He was very surprised,

because he said, "They haven't used it.

We limit how much technology our kids use at home."

This is a very common thing in the tech world.

In fact, there's a school quite near Silicon Valley

called the Waldorf School of the Peninsula,

and they don't introduce screens until the eighth grade.

What's really interesting about the school

is that 75 percent of the kids who go there

have parents who are high-level Silicon Valley tech execs.

So when I heard about this, I thought it was interesting and surprising,

and it pushed me to consider what screens were doing to me

and to my family and the people I loved,

and to people at large.

So for the last five years,

as a professor of business and psychology,

I've been studying the effect of screens on our lives.

And I want to start by just focusing on how much time they take from us,

and then we can talk about what that time looks like.

What I'm showing you here is the average 24-hour workday

at three different points in history:

2007 -- 10 years ago --

2015

and then data that I collected, actually, only last week.

And a lot of things haven't changed

all that much.

We sleep roughly seven-and-a-half to eight hours a day;

some people say that's declined slightly, but it hasn't changed much.

We work eight-and-a-half to nine hours a day.

We engage in survival activities --

these are things like eating and bathing and looking after kids --

about three hours a day.

That leaves this white space.

That's our personal time.

That space is incredibly important to us.

That's the space where we do things that make us individuals.

That's where hobbies happen, where we have close relationships,

where we really think about our lives, where we get creative,

where we zoom back and try to work out

whether our lives have been meaningful.

We get some of that from work as well,

but when people look back on their lives

and wonder what their lives have been like

at the end of their lives,

you look at the last things they say --

they are talking about those moments that happen in that white personal space.

So it's sacred; it's important to us.

Now, what I'm going to do is show you

how much of that space is taken up by screens across time.

In 2007,

this much.

That was the year that Apple introduced the first iPhone.

Eight years later,

this much.

Now, this much.

That's how much time we spend of that free time in front of our screens.

This yellow area, this thin sliver, is where the magic happens.

That's where your humanity lives.

And right now, it's in a very small box.

So what do we do about this?

Well, the first question is:

What does that red space look like?

Now, of course, screens are miraculous

in a lot of ways.

I live in New York,

a lot of my family lives in Australia,

and I have a one-year-old son.

The way I've been able to introduce them to him is with screens.

I couldn't have done that 15 or 20 years ago

in quite the same way.

So there's a lot of good that comes from them.

One thing you can do is ask yourself:

What goes on during that time?

How enriching are the apps that we're using?

And some are enriching.

If you stop people while they're using them and say,

"Tell us how you feel right now,"

they say they feel pretty good about these apps --

those that focus on relaxation, exercise, weather, reading,

education and health.

They spend an average of nine minutes a day on each of these.

These apps make them much less happy.

About half the people, when you interrupt them and say, "How do you feel?"

say they don't feel good about using them.

What's interesting about these --

dating, social networking, gaming,

entertainment, news, web browsing --

people spend 27 minutes a day on each of these.

We're spending three times longer on the apps that don't make us happy.

That doesn't seem very wise.

One of the reasons we spend so much time on these apps

that make us unhappy

is they rob us of stopping cues.

Stopping cues were everywhere in the 20th century.

They were baked into everything we did.

A stopping cue is basically a signal that it's time to move on,

to do something new, to do something different.

And -- think about newspapers; eventually you get to the end,

you fold the newspaper away, you put it aside.

The same with magazines, books -- you get to the end of a chapter,

prompts you to consider whether you want to continue.

You watched a show on TV, eventually the show would end,

and then you'd have a week until the next one came.

There were stopping cues everywhere.

But the way we consume media today is such that there are no stopping cues.

The news feed just rolls on,

and everything's bottomless: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram,

email, text messaging, the news.

And when you do check all sorts of other sources,

you can just keep going on and on and on.

So, we can get a cue about what to do from Western Europe,

where they seem to have a number of pretty good ideas in the workplace.

Here's one example. This is a Dutch design firm.

And what they've done is rigged the desks to the ceiling.

And at 6pm every day,

it doesn't matter who you're emailing or what you're doing,

the desks rise to the ceiling.

(Laughter)

(Applause)

Four days a week, the space turns into a yoga studio,

one day a week, into a dance club.

It's really up to you which ones you stick around for.

But this is a great stopping rule,

because it means at the end of the day,

everything stops, there's no way to work.

At Daimler, the German car company, they've got another great strategy.

When you go on vacation,

instead of saying, "This person's on vacation,

they'll get back to you eventually,"

they say, "This person's on vacation, so we've deleted your email.

This person will never see the email you just sent."

(Laughter)

"You can email back in a couple of weeks,

or you can email someone else."

(Laughter)

And so --

(Applause)

You can imagine what that's like.

You go on vacation, and you're actually on vacation.

The people who work at this company feel

that they actually get a break from work.

But of course, that doesn't tell us much

about what we should do at home in our own lives,

so I want to make some suggestions.

It's easy to say, between 5 and 6pm, I'm going to not use my phone.

The problem is, 5 and 6pm looks different on different days.

I think a far better strategy is to say,

I do certain things every day,

there are certain occasions that happen every day,

like eating dinner.

Sometimes I'll be alone,

sometimes with other people,

sometimes in a restaurant,

sometimes at home,

but the rule that I've adopted is: I will never use my phone at the table.

It's far away,

as far away as possible.

Because we're really bad at resisting temptation.

But when you have a stopping cue that, every time dinner begins,

my phone goes far away,

you avoid temptation all together.

At first, it hurts.

I had massive FOMO.

(Laughter)

I struggled.

But what happens is, you get used to it.

You overcome the withdrawal the same way you would from a drug,

and what happens is, life becomes more colorful, richer,

more interesting --

you have better conversations.

You really connect with the people who are there with you.

I think it's a fantastic strategy,

and we know it works, because when people do this --

and I've tracked a lot of people who have tried this --

it expands.

They feel so good about it,

they start doing it for the first hour of the day in the morning.

They start putting their phones on airplane mode on the weekend.

That way, your phone remains a camera, but it's no longer a phone.

It's a really powerful idea,

and we know people feel much better about their lives when they do this.

So what's the take home here?

Screens are miraculous; I've already said that,

and I feel that it's true.

But the way we use them is a lot like driving down a really fast, long road,

and you're in a car where the accelerator is mashed to the floor,

it's kind of hard to reach the brake pedal.

You've got a choice.

You can either glide by, past, say, the beautiful ocean scenes

and take snaps out the window -- that's the easy thing to do --

or you can go out of your way to move the car to the side of the road,

to push that brake pedal,

to get out,

take off your shoes and socks,

take a couple of steps onto the sand,

feel what the sand feels like under your feet,

walk to the ocean,

and let the ocean lap at your ankles.

Your life will be richer and more meaningful

because you breathe in that experience,

and because you've left your phone in the car.

Thank you.

(Applause)