Are Indian Parents Toxic? | Explained With Data

Aevy TV
8 Apr 202422:48

Summary

TLDRThe video script addresses the intense academic and career expectations Indian parents often have for their children, highlighting the pressure and potential emotional toll it can take. It discusses the traditional Indian parenting style, emphasizing academic achievement and specific career paths, and contrasts it with the importance of understanding and validating individual aspirations. The speaker shares personal experiences and offers strategies for open communication with parents, advocating for a more accepting and evolving approach to parenting that acknowledges the changing world and supports children's individuality and mental health.

Takeaways

  • 🎓 Indian parents often place a strong emphasis on academic achievement and social status, sometimes prioritizing career success over a child's well-being and happiness.
  • 🌟 The societal pressure and expectations from parents can lead to a narrow definition of success, often limiting young individuals to specific career paths like engineering or medicine.
  • 🚫 Indian parenting style can sometimes be toxic, with a lack of open communication and emotional manipulation being prevalent issues that affect children's mental health and self-esteem.
  • 🔄 The script highlights the importance of parents adapting to changing times and being more accepting of their children's choices, rather than strictly adhering to traditional norms and expectations.
  • 📈 The video discusses the impact of parents' expectations on children's confidence and self-worth, and how these pressures can lead to long-term negative effects on mental health and personal growth.
  • 🤝 It is crucial for parents to build a foundation of love, trust, and communication with their children, allowing them to feel heard, valued, and supported in their individual pursuits.
  • 💡 Indian parents are encouraged to understand that their children are not extensions of themselves, but rather unique individuals with their own desires, beliefs, and ideologies.
  • 🌐 The rapidly changing world requires a different approach to parenting, where children are encouraged to explore various career options and are not confined to a narrow set of professions.
  • 🔄 The script suggests that children should be able to negotiate with their parents and present well-researched arguments to gain the freedom to make their own life choices.
  • 📚 Parents are urged to be open to learning from their children, acknowledging that they may not have all the answers and embracing the evolving landscape of technology and ideas.

Q & A

  • What is the main topic discussed in the video?

    -The main topic discussed in the video is the impact of traditional Indian parenting styles on children's self-esteem, career choices, and overall well-being.

  • What percentage of Indian parents prioritize successful careers over their children's well-being, according to the HSBC Global report?

    -51% of Indian parents prioritize successful careers over their children's well-being, as per the HSBC Global report.

  • What are the typical career paths that Indian parents consider prestigious and successful?

    -Indian parents typically consider careers in engineering, medicine, and other professional fields such as law and civil service as prestigious and successful.

  • How does the script suggest that Indian parents view their children as extensions of themselves?

    -The script suggests that Indian parents view their children as extensions of themselves by imposing their beliefs, opinions, and career choices onto them, often prioritizing family honor and community ties over individual desires.

  • What are some negative consequences of the traditional Indian parenting style mentioned in the script?

    -Negative consequences include stifling children's critical thinking skills, discouraging risk-taking, suppressing individuality, and potentially leading to long-lasting resentment and mental health issues.

  • How does the speaker propose to improve communication and understanding between parents and children?

    -The speaker proposes that children should present well-researched, evidence-based arguments to their parents to demonstrate the validity of their choices and experiences, much like a sales pitch.

  • What advice does the speaker give to parents who want the best for their children?

    -The speaker advises parents to build a strong foundation of love, trust, and communication, to be open to learning from their children, and to accept that their children are their own individuals with unique desires and beliefs.

  • How does the societal pressure and expectations in India affect parenting styles?

    -The societal pressure and expectations in India often lead to a status-driven and collectivist mindset, where parents push their children towards traditional, successful careers to elevate the family's social standing and fulfill community expectations.

  • What is the significance of the speaker's personal experiences and startup in addressing the issues discussed in the video?

    -The speaker's personal experiences and startup, Junior Champs, provide a first-hand account and a platform for improving parenting practices by focusing on social-emotional skills and more accepting, adaptable parenting behaviors.

  • What does the video suggest as a key factor in changing traditional Indian parenting practices?

    -The video suggests that open communication, understanding, and willingness to adapt to changing times are key factors in changing traditional Indian parenting practices.

  • How does the speaker address the issue of parents using emotional manipulation as a control tactic?

    -The speaker addresses this issue by pointing out how such emotional manipulation can make a child's sense of love and support feel conditional and transactional, and encourages parents to avoid such practices for a healthier parent-child relationship.

Outlines

00:00

🎉 Celebrating Achievements and Addressing Parental Expectations

The paragraph begins with a celebration of achievements, acknowledging the efforts made to meet certain expectations. It then shifts focus to discuss the pressure of parental expectations, particularly in the context of Indian families. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about their own journey of dealing with such pressures and emphasizes the importance of having open and honest conversations with parents. The introduction of a sponsor, ODU, an enterprise resource planning software, is used as a metaphor to highlight the importance of adapting and evolving, just as one would in managing an online business presence.

05:02

🤔 Exploring the Impact of Indian Parenting Styles

This paragraph delves into the characteristics of Indian parenting, highlighting the intense focus on academic success and social status. It discusses the societal and cultural expectations that drive these parenting practices, referencing movies and reports that have brought this issue to light. The speaker shares statistics to emphasize the unrealistic expectations placed on young people, and the potential negative impact on their self-esteem and mental health. The paragraph also touches on the collectivist nature of Indian society and how it influences parenting behaviors, leading to a lack of individual expression and personal fulfillment.

10:03

😢 Navigating the Pressures and Sacrifices in Indian Families

The paragraph discusses the emotional and psychological toll of the pressures faced by children in Indian families, particularly in the context of education and career expectations. It explores the financial sacrifices made by parents and the implications of these sacrifices on both the parents and the children. The speaker uses a hypothetical scenario to illustrate the stress and anxiety that can result from these pressures, leading to tragic outcomes. The paragraph also addresses the changing job market and the challenges faced by young people in finding employment, emphasizing the need for parents to understand and adapt to these changes.

15:04

🚫 Challenging Traditional Indian Parenting Norms

This paragraph critically examines traditional Indian parenting norms, discussing the long-term impacts of helicopter parenting and the suppression of individuality. It highlights the importance of risk-taking and independent thought, and how these are often discouraged by traditional parenting practices. The speaker shares personal strategies for negotiating with parents and advocating for one's own career choices, emphasizing the need for understanding and compromise. The paragraph also encourages parents to be open to learning from their children and adapting to the changing world.

20:05

💪 Encouraging Adaptation and Openness in Parenting

The final paragraph addresses Indian parents directly, acknowledging their love and sacrifices while urging them to adapt to the changing world and the evolving definition of success. It emphasizes the importance of communication, trust, and understanding between parents and children. The speaker advises parents to let go of rigid expectations and allow their children to explore their own paths. The paragraph concludes with a call for shared experiences and stories to help others navigate difficult parent-child relationships, and a reminder that it's never too late to change and build a healthier relationship with one's children.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Parenting Practices

The term 'Parenting Practices' refers to the methods and strategies that parents use to raise and nurture their children. In the context of the video, it highlights the traditional Indian parenting style that focuses heavily on academic achievement and societal success, often at the expense of a child's personal interests and well-being. The video discusses the need for a more balanced approach that encourages open communication and respects individual career choices.

💡Toxic Parenting

The term 'Toxic Parenting' refers to a style of parenting where the parents exert excessive control over their children's lives, often using manipulation and emotional tactics to enforce their will. In the video, this concept is used to describe certain aspects of traditional Indian parenting, which can be emotionally damaging to children by stifling their self-confidence and self-esteem.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In the video, the impact of traditional Indian parenting on children's self-esteem is explored, emphasizing how high expectations and lack of validation can lead to feelings of inadequacy and emotional distress.

💡Career Expectations

Career Expectations refer to the预先设定的职业目标 or paths that parents envision for their children. In the context of the video, it highlights how Indian parents often push their children towards specific careers, such as medicine or engineering, viewing these as the epitome of success. This can lead to a lack of exploration and understanding of diverse career options and personal passions.

💡Collectivist Society

A 'Collectivist Society' is one where the needs and goals of the group take precedence over individual desires and aspirations. In the video, this concept is used to explain the cultural backdrop of Indian parenting, where the family's honor and community ties are highly valued, often leading to parents making decisions based on collective benefits rather than the individual's interests.

💡Emotional Manipulation

Emotional Manipulation is a form of psychological control where emotions are used to influence someone's behavior or decisions. In the video, it is highlighted as a tactic used by some parents to enforce their expectations, often making children feel guilty or obligated to meet those expectations.

💡Individuality

Individuality refers to the unique qualities, characteristics, and interests that define a person. In the video, the concept is discussed in relation to how traditional Indian parenting can suppress individuality by enforcing a narrow view of success and not allowing children to explore their own passions and talents.

💡Communication

Communication in the context of the video refers to the open and honest exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas between parents and children. The video emphasizes the importance of fostering an environment where children feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or repercussions, which is often lacking in traditional Indian parenting.

💡Success

Success, as discussed in the video, is a term often associated with societal achievements and milestones, particularly in the context of Indian parenting. It is typically defined by career accomplishments, academic excellence, and social status. The video challenges this traditional definition by suggesting that success should be more inclusive of personal happiness and fulfillment.

💡Mental Health

Mental Health refers to an individual's psychological and emotional well-being. The video highlights the importance of considering mental health in the context of parenting, as the high-pressure environment and strict expectations can lead to stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues in children.

Highlights

The speaker shares a personal story of reducing their father's expectations and the impact it had on their life.

A breakthrough in emotional validation is achieved, highlighting the importance of self-confidence and self-esteem.

The question posed to the audience about what they would be if not influenced by parental expectations provokes thought on individual aspirations.

The introduction of ODU, an enterprise resource planning software, emphasizes its e-commerce features for boosting businesses online presence.

The video aims to discuss the toxic aspects of some Indian parenting styles without vilifying parents, but rather understanding their perspective.

Indian parenting's focus on academic achievement and social status is highlighted as a widely known cultural trait.

A discussion on how Indian parents often prioritize successful careers over their children's well-being and happiness is presented.

The societal pressure and expectations in India are linked to the pressure on children to achieve career milestones.

The speaker shares their own experience of growing up in an Indian family and the struggles they faced with parental expectations.

The importance of understanding and changing with the times is stressed, as seen in the speaker's positive relationship with their parents.

The societal impact on Indian parenting is discussed, including the collectivist nature of Indian society and its effect on individual desires.

The speaker's first startup, Junior Champs, focused on improving parenting and instilling social-emotional skills in children.

The limited career options known to Indian students and the pressure to conform to narrow definitions of success are critiqued.

The negative impacts of certain Indian parenting behaviors on adult life are discussed, including the stifling of individuality and creativity.

The speaker suggests strategies for navigating conversations with parents and emphasizes the importance of mutual understanding.

The video calls for a reevaluation of traditional Indian parenting practices in light of changing societal and economic landscapes.

The speaker addresses Indian parents directly, urging them to adapt to the changing world and support their children's individual paths.

The video concludes with a call for sharing experiences and support for those struggling with parental relationships.

Transcripts

play00:05

welcome everybody according to our last

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quarterly analysis

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report Val ouris aren met and to top it

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off

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Sops me

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estimate did you make any efforts to

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reduce your dad's IIT

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expectations Rohit

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[Music]

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[Applause]

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[Music]

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9% for the first time in my life

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physical

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[Applause]

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affection

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emotionally damage to selfconfidence

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and selfesteem

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[Music]

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[Music]

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issues

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[Music]

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normaliz

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[Music]

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tions

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[Music]

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valid this is a breakthrough emotionally

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damed to you have done the impossible

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self

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confidence and self

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[Music]

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estimation

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I have a question for all of you what

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would you be if your parents didn't

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decide what you will become I'm sure

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most of you have an answer to the

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question but are scared to say it out

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loud if you don't know you will find out

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why but before we begin today's video I

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want to quickly thank our partner for

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this video ODU ODU is an enterprise

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business check out Odo from the link in

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description below now back to the video

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in today's video I want to tackle a

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sensitive but a rather important topic

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are Indian parents toxic sounds like

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blasphemy when I say it like that right

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now a lot of you want to click off right

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away saying no Aina my parents are

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amazing I am genuinely so happy for you

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but the data I came across about Indian

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parents is quite troubling so I realized

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it's a discussion that we all needed to

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have the markets people Society is

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changing at a much faster pace and a lot

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of parents are still stuck in the past

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my goal in this video is not to vilify

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parents but to have an honest

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examination of parenting practices in

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India more importantly I want to help

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you develop a deeper understanding of

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your parents perspective and provide you

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with practical strategies for navigating

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important conversations with them

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because your future and well-being is at

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stake here so like most other Indian

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families and knew my parents were also

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loving but strict education was of f

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most important nothing mattered more

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than getting top marks in every subject

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extracurricular activities were

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encouraged as long as they didn't

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interfere with academics they were the

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usual fights growing up don't use your

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phone too much don't use the internet

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don't waste time don't go out you know

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how it goes you know growing up I feel

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like a lot of us have this innate need

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to be understood and to be validated by

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our parents so it's very troubling when

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they don't understand us you feel very

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confused that why AR they getting it we

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not doing anything wrong this is what

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all our friends do I also went through

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the same thing but thankfully over the

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years I was able to reach a point my

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parents but I genuinely absolutely love

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their company even all my friends and

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honestly it was because they decided to

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be more accepting change with the times

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and understand their own shortcomings

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and trust me and support me in literally

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all my decisions which is so rare to

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find so thank you Mom and Dad but I'll

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tell you what not everyone's story ends

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this way since mine did I wanted the

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world to have it too in fact my very

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first startup Junior Champs was also

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focused on how parents can instill some

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social emotional skills in children and

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how they can do parenting better and

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while researching and building this

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product I literally spoke to so many

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parents studied a lot of parenting

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behaviors so allow me to help you all

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navigate through this now the Indian

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parenting Style with its laser-like

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focus on academic achievement and social

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status is literally so widely known it's

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practically a cultural meme at this

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point you remember when the movie tar

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Zer came out I think there was the first

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time Indian parenting came in the

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linelight and and so many kids related

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to it after that we had three idiots but

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it's practically Global understanding

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now that Indian parents are loving but

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bossy nurturing but controlling and they

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will push you to Greatness whether you

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like it or not did you know Indians are

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among the most academically oriented

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parents on the planet hsbc's Global

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report the value of Education found that

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51% of Indian parents chose successful

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careers as more important over a child's

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well-being and happiness and what is

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success for Indian parents either you

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get into iits IMS or you become a doctor

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but if you actually do the math less

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than

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0.005% of Indian youth graduate from

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prestigious it each year and less than

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0.06% of Indian graduates make it to the

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elite IM Business Schools so by this

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definition 99% of Youth have already

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failed before they even get started at

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life think about the confidence H so

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many people take based on these

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parameters and it's not just this there

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are a lot of other parenting behaviors

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that I'd like to call out that need to

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be re-evaluated again they are our

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parents they mean well for us they do

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love us but they are also a result of

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their upbringing and I really want you

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to stay till the end of the video

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because I also want you to understand

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and see where their behavior stem from

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so coming to Parenting behaviors

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building Legacy through children's

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careers the fact that 51% parents are

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keen on their child having a successful

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career over them being healthy or happy

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also underlines how achieving a career

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Milestone is linked to the pride it

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brings not just for the parents but the

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community at large and I graduation is

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seen as a way to elevate the family

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social standing for generations to come

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certain professions like doctors lawyers

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civil servants are also seen as

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respected and committed careers so

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having a child from the family make it B

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in these careers allows for

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intergenerational pride and admiration

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you know we've spoken about this many

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times before how India is a

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status-driven society not a well-driven

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society so we do things to outdo what

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other person has achieved not because we

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want it to in a status-driven society

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the basic mechanism is that they don't

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like anyone going up the ladder so they

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keep pulling others down in this way we

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end up competing for the sake of

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validation we get out of it not always

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because it creates something of value

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for those involved you know Indian

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parents want us to beat Sharma G kab

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beta not be equivalent to him and also

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as a function of this a lot of Indian

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parents adhere to extremely nrow

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definitions of success any field that's

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not engineering or medicine is looked

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down upon God forbid you express an

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interest in a lesser field like arts or

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Sports you'll be mobbed or forcibly

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rerouted to science a research conducted

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by mindler of over 10,000 students in

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tier 2 and tier three cities found that

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93% Indian students are aware of just

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seven career options out of 250 odd

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career options available in India a lot

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of Indian parents force their opinions

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and beliefs on their children the child

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is seen as an an extension of the parent

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and their beliefs not as their

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individual selves see India at its core

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is a very collectivist Society we place

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a high value on family honor and

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Community ties often prioritizing them

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over individual desires and a parents

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but again raised with these beliefs now

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you might question and say is listening

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to everything a parents say and being an

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extension of them a bad thing well not

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always but sometimes yes it has its

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repercussions and now that we have

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enough research on this for a lot of

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people these repercussions can be

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crippling in adult life I'm going to

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list out all of these in the later parts

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of the video now coming to communication

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a lot of Indian parents outright reject

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open communication and children speaking

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their minds is often labeled as

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disrespectful and disobedient because

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answering back is the biggest sin in the

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parenting world and I'll tell you what's

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even worse is emotional manipulation at

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times a lot of parents use guil tripping

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and emotional blackmail to control their

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children without even realizing saying

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things like we sacrifice so much for you

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and this is how you repay

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us this for some children can make a

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parents love and support feel

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conditional transactional and something

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that can only be achieved and received

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through good marks or by following their

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orders wo wo wo wo stop did you like the

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way that video was edited well I'm doing

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the thing is it's not a lie that Indian

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parents do make a lot of sacrifices for

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us all parents do as much as 49% of

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Indian parents work extra hours and take

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a second job to pay for their children's

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University education about 64% of Indian

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parents have taken on depth to put their

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kids to University but I wanted to

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imagine a situation here okay imagine

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you're a child from tier 2 or tier three

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city in India your parents don't have

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the means to afford higher education for

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you so they draw out a loan and send you

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for J or neat coaching they take this

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loan with understanding that you will

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make it to a good college and you will

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be able to repay the loans however mid

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prep you realize that your aptitude

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isn't good maybe you feel a bit

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disinterested in the course and

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environment of the coaching Institute

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altoe every test you give your rank and

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scores take a hit subsequently your

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confidence too for a parent in this

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situation who has already incurred a

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loan it can be quite stressful to know

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that kid isn't doing well but they are

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trapped too they have to repay the loan

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and your education is of utmost

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importance moreover you are stressed

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because you feel responsible for doing

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well but do not have the mental or

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physical health to Ace the test and any

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step you take has repercussions for you

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and your parents' overall well-being in

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fact because of situations like these

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earlier this year three children in Kota

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took their lives by suicide because they

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couldn't cope with the fact that their J

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grades were poor and their parents had

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taken a loan and you know what on an

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average 35 Indian students take their

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lives on a daily basis these kind of

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situations leave the parents the family

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and all of their dreams in worse shape

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than where they began let's say we take

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another scenario where we assume this

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child from a poor socio economic

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background does well on the test and

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secures a place in an institution of

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choice they still have to fight another

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battle when it comes to finally getting

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a job and God forbid they graduate

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during a recession or when the world's

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Tech is changing at such a fast pace as

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right now they'll find it so difficult

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to land a job in this environment and

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might remain underemployed for a long

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long time so imagine this child from a

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poor social economic background steps

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into the world well worsed in the rules

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of the game only to later realize the

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game of the success has changed see now

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you must be like is this really a

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parents fault the job market is bad how

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can you attribute this to parents I

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agree with you a lot of it is not our

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parents fault but they are the ones that

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are pushing children to these fields

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because they don't know any better so

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how will they honestly they don't even

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know what they are doing wrong when I

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was researching for my previous startup

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I realized that parenting is actually a

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full-time job and there is no coaching

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for parenting they didn't have internet

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or podcast they could go and watch

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whenever they fa any problems in fact

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they had zero Guidance the only

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reference point that they had was people

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around them and their parents and think

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about the times our grandparents and our

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parents grew up in what were the kind of

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jobs that were available during those

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times it was only in the post

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Independence era when we had all these

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white colar jobs and honestly during

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those times education was the only means

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to securing a job and a better life for

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middle class it was the ticket out of

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poverty into respectability

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doctors engineers and bureaucrats formed

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the ranks of the new Elite so pushing

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your kid into these professions became

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the ultimate aim of parenting also a

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very important thing to understand here

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is a lot of our parents were raised with

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a scarcity mindset meaning they see Life

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as a zero some game and end up saving

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and holding resources playing it safe to

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avoid losing what they have following

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society's definition of success instead

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of their own and this mindset is common

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among majority of Indian parents because

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a lot of them came from very little yet

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this is the same mindset that can hold

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you back is the mindset the difference

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our parents from understanding the

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concept of risk all together risk is

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seen a scary something that will destroy

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your career when that's not the true

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case in fact minimizing risk all your

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life can be the biggest risk you're

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taking risk of living a life that you

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didn't want to it's also worth noting

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that the safe path often isn't safe at

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all just look at all the tech folks who

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are getting laid off from corporate jobs

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right now and honestly it doesn't end

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here sometimes times the weight of all

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these expectations can be crippling and

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straight up harmful here are some

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long-term impacts that I spoke about

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earlier that I will be listing out see

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Indian parents want you to listen to

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them at every stage of life this type of

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helicopter parenting discourages

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critical thinking skills by dictating

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your academic path and career choices

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from a very young age think about it

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okay when you go out in the real world

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and all You' have been taught is to

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follow orders and be a yes man you are

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going to be crushed by the society if

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you don't speak up for yourself in

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today's socioeconomic environment you

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become successful by standing out not by

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fitting in you been leverage by being

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number one in a field any field not by

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being the Thousand person doing the same

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average work and parents need to

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understand this tell me this okay with

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no opportunities to exercise independent

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thought how can you expect to

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confidently navigate life's biggest

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decisions as an adult by diminishing

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your appetite for risk- taking by

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forcefully labeling certain professions

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as the only options you will end up

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avoiding any semblance of risk leaving

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you paralyzed to explore alternative

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paths even after becoming financially

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independent suppressing your identity

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dreams and individuality in the

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single-minded persu of society's narrow

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definition of success can honestly breed

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long lasting resentment towards your

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parents when you realize how they

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stifled your authentic self this will

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make you feel fundamentally

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misunderstood and insecure by

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controlling every aspect of your life

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without any space for for

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self-expression you know never being

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able to be your true self cripples your

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self-confidence and selfworth over time

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it pushes you into living dual life

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where you have this obedient public

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Persona to please parents while

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internally you struggle with your real

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identity now I genuinely wish I was

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making all of this up but simply look up

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Reddit threads on Indian parenting and

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you will realize why Indian parenting

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needs to be scrutinized time and again

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in pop culture because it does harm our

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potential and there are more than enough

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research papers and studies around it

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I'm going to link them all in the

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description below if you want to share

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them with your parents see I'm also

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aware that a lot of comments on this

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video will be people who have obeyed

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their parents justifying they are right

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in doing what they did and I totally

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understand you I would defend it too if

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I had always obeyed my parents but if by

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small chance you are someone who seeks

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to feel understood by your parents I

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want you to know it is possible I have

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done it for my career let me give you a

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few examples see okay whenever you're

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approaching your parent or trying to

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make a pitch for yourself you have to

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prove how serious you are before you go

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and Pitch your idea I'll give you an

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example there was a point of time when I

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wanted to shift into becoming a uiux

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designer and my mom and dad had no idea

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what the hell a uiux designer is so I

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did all my research about the

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opportunities available how many people

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are pursuing this career what is the

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future of it what is the salary package

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I can get also spoke to some other

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people who could then come and talk to

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my parents so I literally created a

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presentation deck and presented it to

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them just to ease their anxieties and so

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they could trust me into making this

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decision and they didn't feel like I was

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playing with my career I'll give another

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example I also had a friend who switched

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to design after completing engineering

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she took up freelancing design work

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prepared for courses in design school

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secured a seat landed a job at a leading

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design agency of her own will noticing

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the efforts of my friends put in proving

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into how serious she was made her

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otherwise strict mom trust her more see

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I know this might come across as a

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little silly to some of you but hear me

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out arguing with parents and fighting

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for a chance to make your own choices is

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kind of like being a salesperson you

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need to learn the art of negotiation

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think of your parents as the customer

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that is buying a product from their

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children I know you must be like what is

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she saying but it is what it is you got

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to understand your customer you got to

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understand your parents you got to

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understand their motivations what they

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want and make your pitch accordingly now

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this pitch could be a different career

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the choice to join a startup and the

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choice to set up a business if you're

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suggesting a switch in the subject you

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study showing your parents how you will

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land a job what the job prospects are

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and how you will figure it out is the

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key if you're pitching your dream of

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working at a startup talking to them how

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that will help your career in the future

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will be an important discussion so have

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all of your points and proof ready see

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it's simple okay if you decide to make a

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case for making new choices then what

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your parents wanted you will have to do

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some homework on how you will achieve

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the desired result and think of these

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conversations with your parents as a way

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to to negotiate for a life that you

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create on your own and don't go into

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these battles with ego and anger go into

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these negotiations with a lot of points

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back in what you're seeing also know

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that a good compromise is when both the

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parties are disatisfied so your parents

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may not agree at once but if you really

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want to make different choices you will

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have to keep negotiating sure against my

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positive stories there will be hundreds

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where parents still don't listen that is

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the default Indian parents operate at

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but as someone witnessing how fast

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technology and economy is changing I

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want to warn you and through you your

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parents that most of the ways of

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securing a future or being successful

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are already outdated or soon will be now

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if you're an Indian parent watching this

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I've got a message for you see I know

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you want the best for your child I know

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youve worked hard and sacrificed so much

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to give them a better life but sometimes

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in your desire to protect them and guide

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your child you can end up pushing them

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away you see your children are growing

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up in a very different world than the

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one you grew up in the rules have

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changed the opportunities have expanded

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and the definition of success has

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evolved what worked for you may not work

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for them and that is okay your pressure

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your expectations your rigid beliefs

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they can be suffocating for your child

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they can make them feel like they're not

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good enough like they'll never measure

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up to your standards and that is a heavy

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burden to bear for a child you know

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there's a reason why so many young

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Indians move away from their parents as

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soon as they can it's not because they

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don't love you or respect you it's

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because they need space to breathe to

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grow to figure out who they are and what

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they want I am sorry but your children

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are not your extensions they are not

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your trophy to flaunt in public they are

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their own people with their own desires

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beliefs and ideologies and they are

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growing up in a really complex world at

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really complex times and you don't want

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them to grow up into individuals with

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mental health problems because of you

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please don't suffocate them I know

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you're worried about their safety and

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their future but the more you try to

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control them the more you'll push them

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away the more you try to protect them

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from the world the less prepared they'll

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be to face it instead focus on building

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a strong Foundation of love trust and

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communication create a space where your

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child feels heard value and supported

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and most importantly be willing to learn

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from them your child may know more than

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you in certain areas and that's a good

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thing not a bad thing they can teach you

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about new technologies new IDE ideas new

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ways of thinking don't be afraid to

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admit when you're wrong or when you

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don't have all the answers honestly this

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vulnerability the humility will only

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stand on your Bor I know it's a

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difficult Journey but the rewards of a

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healthy honest relationship with your

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child are immeasurable it's never too

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late to start your child is waiting for

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you hoping for you and rooting for you

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all you got to do is accept some of your

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shortcomings and be willing to take the

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first step that's all lastly if you're

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someone who going through a tough

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relationship with your parents and has

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been able to tackle it or come out of it

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please do share your experiences in the

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comments below if it could help someone

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else feel less lonely and figured how to

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tackle it better nothing like it anyway

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that's all for today's video my name is

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atina Maya thank you for watching please

play22:46

don't forget to hit the Subscribe button

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Related Tags
Indian ParentingSelf-EsteemCareer ChoicesMental HealthCommunicationCultural ExpectationsGeneration GapEducation PressureParent-Child RelationsPersonal Fulfillment