Are Indian Parents Toxic? | Explained With Data

Summary

The video script addresses the intense academic and career expectations Indian parents often have for their children, highlighting the pressure and potential emotional toll it can take. It discusses the traditional Indian parenting style, emphasizing academic achievement and specific career paths, and contrasts it with the importance of understanding and validating individual aspirations. The speaker shares personal experiences and offers strategies for open communication with parents, advocating for a more accepting and evolving approach to parenting that acknowledges the changing world and supports children's individuality and mental health.

Takeaways

• 🎓 Indian parents often place a strong emphasis on academic achievement and social status, sometimes prioritizing career success over a child's well-being and happiness.
• 🌟 The societal pressure and expectations from parents can lead to a narrow definition of success, often limiting young individuals to specific career paths like engineering or medicine.
• 🚫 Indian parenting style can sometimes be toxic, with a lack of open communication and emotional manipulation being prevalent issues that affect children's mental health and self-esteem.
• 🔄 The script highlights the importance of parents adapting to changing times and being more accepting of their children's choices, rather than strictly adhering to traditional norms and expectations.
• 📈 The video discusses the impact of parents' expectations on children's confidence and self-worth, and how these pressures can lead to long-term negative effects on mental health and personal growth.
• 🤝 It is crucial for parents to build a foundation of love, trust, and communication with their children, allowing them to feel heard, valued, and supported in their individual pursuits.
• 💡 Indian parents are encouraged to understand that their children are not extensions of themselves, but rather unique individuals with their own desires, beliefs, and ideologies.
• 🌐 The rapidly changing world requires a different approach to parenting, where children are encouraged to explore various career options and are not confined to a narrow set of professions.
• 🔄 The script suggests that children should be able to negotiate with their parents and present well-researched arguments to gain the freedom to make their own life choices.
• 📚 Parents are urged to be open to learning from their children, acknowledging that they may not have all the answers and embracing the evolving landscape of technology and ideas.

Q & A

What is the main topic discussed in the video?

The main topic discussed in the video is the impact of traditional Indian parenting styles on children's self-esteem, career choices, and overall well-being.

What percentage of Indian parents prioritize successful careers over their children's well-being, according to the HSBC Global report?

51% of Indian parents prioritize successful careers over their children's well-being, as per the HSBC Global report.

What are the typical career paths that Indian parents consider prestigious and successful?

Indian parents typically consider careers in engineering, medicine, and other professional fields such as law and civil service as prestigious and successful.

How does the script suggest that Indian parents view their children as extensions of themselves?

The script suggests that Indian parents view their children as extensions of themselves by imposing their beliefs, opinions, and career choices onto them, often prioritizing family honor and community ties over individual desires.

What are some negative consequences of the traditional Indian parenting style mentioned in the script?

Negative consequences include stifling children's critical thinking skills, discouraging risk-taking, suppressing individuality, and potentially leading to long-lasting resentment and mental health issues.

How does the speaker propose to improve communication and understanding between parents and children?

The speaker proposes that children should present well-researched, evidence-based arguments to their parents to demonstrate the validity of their choices and experiences, much like a sales pitch.

What advice does the speaker give to parents who want the best for their children?

The speaker advises parents to build a strong foundation of love, trust, and communication, to be open to learning from their children, and to accept that their children are their own individuals with unique desires and beliefs.

How does the societal pressure and expectations in India affect parenting styles?

The societal pressure and expectations in India often lead to a status-driven and collectivist mindset, where parents push their children towards traditional, successful careers to elevate the family's social standing and fulfill community expectations.

What is the significance of the speaker's personal experiences and startup in addressing the issues discussed in the video?

The speaker's personal experiences and startup, Junior Champs, provide a first-hand account and a platform for improving parenting practices by focusing on social-emotional skills and more accepting, adaptable parenting behaviors.

What does the video suggest as a key factor in changing traditional Indian parenting practices?

The video suggests that open communication, understanding, and willingness to adapt to changing times are key factors in changing traditional Indian parenting practices.

How does the speaker address the issue of parents using emotional manipulation as a control tactic?

The speaker addresses this issue by pointing out how such emotional manipulation can make a child's sense of love and support feel conditional and transactional, and encourages parents to avoid such practices for a healthier parent-child relationship.

Outlines

00:00

🎉 Celebrating Achievements and Addressing Parental Expectations

The paragraph begins with a celebration of achievements, acknowledging the efforts made to meet certain expectations. It then shifts focus to discuss the pressure of parental expectations, particularly in the context of Indian families. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about their own journey of dealing with such pressures and emphasizes the importance of having open and honest conversations with parents. The introduction of a sponsor, ODU, an enterprise resource planning software, is used as a metaphor to highlight the importance of adapting and evolving, just as one would in managing an online business presence.

05:02

🤔 Exploring the Impact of Indian Parenting Styles

This paragraph delves into the characteristics of Indian parenting, highlighting the intense focus on academic success and social status. It discusses the societal and cultural expectations that drive these parenting practices, referencing movies and reports that have brought this issue to light. The speaker shares statistics to emphasize the unrealistic expectations placed on young people, and the potential negative impact on their self-esteem and mental health. The paragraph also touches on the collectivist nature of Indian society and how it influences parenting behaviors, leading to a lack of individual expression and personal fulfillment.

10:03

😢 Navigating the Pressures and Sacrifices in Indian Families

The paragraph discusses the emotional and psychological toll of the pressures faced by children in Indian families, particularly in the context of education and career expectations. It explores the financial sacrifices made by parents and the implications of these sacrifices on both the parents and the children. The speaker uses a hypothetical scenario to illustrate the stress and anxiety that can result from these pressures, leading to tragic outcomes. The paragraph also addresses the changing job market and the challenges faced by young people in finding employment, emphasizing the need for parents to understand and adapt to these changes.

15:04

🚫 Challenging Traditional Indian Parenting Norms

This paragraph critically examines traditional Indian parenting norms, discussing the long-term impacts of helicopter parenting and the suppression of individuality. It highlights the importance of risk-taking and independent thought, and how these are often discouraged by traditional parenting practices. The speaker shares personal strategies for negotiating with parents and advocating for one's own career choices, emphasizing the need for understanding and compromise. The paragraph also encourages parents to be open to learning from their children and adapting to the changing world.

20:05

💪 Encouraging Adaptation and Openness in Parenting

The final paragraph addresses Indian parents directly, acknowledging their love and sacrifices while urging them to adapt to the changing world and the evolving definition of success. It emphasizes the importance of communication, trust, and understanding between parents and children. The speaker advises parents to let go of rigid expectations and allow their children to explore their own paths. The paragraph concludes with a call for shared experiences and stories to help others navigate difficult parent-child relationships, and a reminder that it's never too late to change and build a healthier relationship with one's children.

Keywords

💡Parenting Practices

The term 'Parenting Practices' refers to the methods and strategies that parents use to raise and nurture their children. In the context of the video, it highlights the traditional Indian parenting style that focuses heavily on academic achievement and societal success, often at the expense of a child's personal interests and well-being. The video discusses the need for a more balanced approach that encourages open communication and respects individual career choices.

💡Toxic Parenting

The term 'Toxic Parenting' refers to a style of parenting where the parents exert excessive control over their children's lives, often using manipulation and emotional tactics to enforce their will. In the video, this concept is used to describe certain aspects of traditional Indian parenting, which can be emotionally damaging to children by stifling their self-confidence and self-esteem.

💡Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In the video, the impact of traditional Indian parenting on children's self-esteem is explored, emphasizing how high expectations and lack of validation can lead to feelings of inadequacy and emotional distress.

💡Career Expectations

Career Expectations refer to the预先设定的职业目标 or paths that parents envision for their children. In the context of the video, it highlights how Indian parents often push their children towards specific careers, such as medicine or engineering, viewing these as the epitome of success. This can lead to a lack of exploration and understanding of diverse career options and personal passions.

💡Collectivist Society

A 'Collectivist Society' is one where the needs and goals of the group take precedence over individual desires and aspirations. In the video, this concept is used to explain the cultural backdrop of Indian parenting, where the family's honor and community ties are highly valued, often leading to parents making decisions based on collective benefits rather than the individual's interests.

💡Emotional Manipulation

Emotional Manipulation is a form of psychological control where emotions are used to influence someone's behavior or decisions. In the video, it is highlighted as a tactic used by some parents to enforce their expectations, often making children feel guilty or obligated to meet those expectations.

💡Individuality

Individuality refers to the unique qualities, characteristics, and interests that define a person. In the video, the concept is discussed in relation to how traditional Indian parenting can suppress individuality by enforcing a narrow view of success and not allowing children to explore their own passions and talents.

💡Communication

Communication in the context of the video refers to the open and honest exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas between parents and children. The video emphasizes the importance of fostering an environment where children feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment or repercussions, which is often lacking in traditional Indian parenting.

💡Success

Success, as discussed in the video, is a term often associated with societal achievements and milestones, particularly in the context of Indian parenting. It is typically defined by career accomplishments, academic excellence, and social status. The video challenges this traditional definition by suggesting that success should be more inclusive of personal happiness and fulfillment.

💡Mental Health

Mental Health refers to an individual's psychological and emotional well-being. The video highlights the importance of considering mental health in the context of parenting, as the high-pressure environment and strict expectations can lead to stress, anxiety, and other mental health issues in children.

Highlights

The speaker shares a personal story of reducing their father's expectations and the impact it had on their life.

A breakthrough in emotional validation is achieved, highlighting the importance of self-confidence and self-esteem.

The question posed to the audience about what they would be if not influenced by parental expectations provokes thought on individual aspirations.

The introduction of ODU, an enterprise resource planning software, emphasizes its e-commerce features for boosting businesses online presence.

The video aims to discuss the toxic aspects of some Indian parenting styles without vilifying parents, but rather understanding their perspective.

Indian parenting's focus on academic achievement and social status is highlighted as a widely known cultural trait.

A discussion on how Indian parents often prioritize successful careers over their children's well-being and happiness is presented.

The societal pressure and expectations in India are linked to the pressure on children to achieve career milestones.

The speaker shares their own experience of growing up in an Indian family and the struggles they faced with parental expectations.

The importance of understanding and changing with the times is stressed, as seen in the speaker's positive relationship with their parents.

The societal impact on Indian parenting is discussed, including the collectivist nature of Indian society and its effect on individual desires.

The speaker's first startup, Junior Champs, focused on improving parenting and instilling social-emotional skills in children.

The limited career options known to Indian students and the pressure to conform to narrow definitions of success are critiqued.

The negative impacts of certain Indian parenting behaviors on adult life are discussed, including the stifling of individuality and creativity.

The speaker suggests strategies for navigating conversations with parents and emphasizes the importance of mutual understanding.

The video calls for a reevaluation of traditional Indian parenting practices in light of changing societal and economic landscapes.

The speaker addresses Indian parents directly, urging them to adapt to the changing world and support their children's individual paths.

The video concludes with a call for sharing experiences and support for those struggling with parental relationships.

Transcripts

welcome everybody according to our last

quarterly analysis

report Val ouris aren met and to top it

off

Sops me

estimate did you make any efforts to

reduce your dad's IIT

expectations Rohit

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[Applause]

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9% for the first time in my life

physical

[Applause]

affection

emotionally damage to selfconfidence

and selfesteem

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issues

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normaliz

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tions

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valid this is a breakthrough emotionally

damed to you have done the impossible

self

confidence and self

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estimation

I have a question for all of you what

would you be if your parents didn't

decide what you will become I'm sure

most of you have an answer to the

question but are scared to say it out

loud if you don't know you will find out

why but before we begin today's video I

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description below now back to the video

in today's video I want to tackle a

sensitive but a rather important topic

are Indian parents toxic sounds like

blasphemy when I say it like that right

now a lot of you want to click off right

away saying no Aina my parents are

amazing I am genuinely so happy for you

but the data I came across about Indian

parents is quite troubling so I realized

it's a discussion that we all needed to

have the markets people Society is

changing at a much faster pace and a lot

of parents are still stuck in the past

my goal in this video is not to vilify

parents but to have an honest

examination of parenting practices in

India more importantly I want to help

you develop a deeper understanding of

your parents perspective and provide you

with practical strategies for navigating

important conversations with them

because your future and well-being is at

stake here so like most other Indian

families and knew my parents were also

loving but strict education was of f

most important nothing mattered more

than getting top marks in every subject

extracurricular activities were

encouraged as long as they didn't

interfere with academics they were the

usual fights growing up don't use your

phone too much don't use the internet

don't waste time don't go out you know

how it goes you know growing up I feel

like a lot of us have this innate need

to be understood and to be validated by

our parents so it's very troubling when

they don't understand us you feel very

confused that why AR they getting it we

not doing anything wrong this is what

all our friends do I also went through

the same thing but thankfully over the

years I was able to reach a point my

parents but I genuinely absolutely love

their company even all my friends and

honestly it was because they decided to

be more accepting change with the times

and understand their own shortcomings

and trust me and support me in literally

all my decisions which is so rare to

find so thank you Mom and Dad but I'll

tell you what not everyone's story ends

this way since mine did I wanted the

world to have it too in fact my very

first startup Junior Champs was also

focused on how parents can instill some

social emotional skills in children and

how they can do parenting better and

while researching and building this

product I literally spoke to so many

parents studied a lot of parenting

behaviors so allow me to help you all

navigate through this now the Indian

parenting Style with its laser-like

focus on academic achievement and social

status is literally so widely known it's

practically a cultural meme at this

point you remember when the movie tar

Zer came out I think there was the first

time Indian parenting came in the

linelight and and so many kids related

to it after that we had three idiots but

it's practically Global understanding

now that Indian parents are loving but

bossy nurturing but controlling and they

will push you to Greatness whether you

like it or not did you know Indians are

among the most academically oriented

parents on the planet hsbc's Global

report the value of Education found that

51% of Indian parents chose successful

careers as more important over a child's

well-being and happiness and what is

success for Indian parents either you

get into iits IMS or you become a doctor

but if you actually do the math less

than

0.005% of Indian youth graduate from

prestigious it each year and less than

0.06% of Indian graduates make it to the

elite IM Business Schools so by this

definition 99% of Youth have already

failed before they even get started at

life think about the confidence H so

many people take based on these

parameters and it's not just this there

are a lot of other parenting behaviors

that I'd like to call out that need to

be re-evaluated again they are our

parents they mean well for us they do

love us but they are also a result of

their upbringing and I really want you

to stay till the end of the video

because I also want you to understand

and see where their behavior stem from

so coming to Parenting behaviors

building Legacy through children's

careers the fact that 51% parents are

keen on their child having a successful

career over them being healthy or happy

also underlines how achieving a career

Milestone is linked to the pride it

brings not just for the parents but the

community at large and I graduation is

seen as a way to elevate the family

social standing for generations to come

certain professions like doctors lawyers

civil servants are also seen as

respected and committed careers so

having a child from the family make it B

in these careers allows for

intergenerational pride and admiration

you know we've spoken about this many

times before how India is a

status-driven society not a well-driven

society so we do things to outdo what

other person has achieved not because we

want it to in a status-driven society

the basic mechanism is that they don't

like anyone going up the ladder so they

keep pulling others down in this way we

end up competing for the sake of

validation we get out of it not always

because it creates something of value

for those involved you know Indian

parents want us to beat Sharma G kab

beta not be equivalent to him and also

as a function of this a lot of Indian

parents adhere to extremely nrow

definitions of success any field that's

not engineering or medicine is looked

down upon God forbid you express an

interest in a lesser field like arts or

Sports you'll be mobbed or forcibly

rerouted to science a research conducted

by mindler of over 10,000 students in

tier 2 and tier three cities found that

93% Indian students are aware of just

seven career options out of 250 odd

career options available in India a lot

of Indian parents force their opinions

and beliefs on their children the child

is seen as an an extension of the parent

and their beliefs not as their

individual selves see India at its core

is a very collectivist Society we place

a high value on family honor and

Community ties often prioritizing them

over individual desires and a parents

but again raised with these beliefs now

you might question and say is listening

to everything a parents say and being an

extension of them a bad thing well not

always but sometimes yes it has its

repercussions and now that we have

enough research on this for a lot of

people these repercussions can be

crippling in adult life I'm going to

list out all of these in the later parts

of the video now coming to communication

a lot of Indian parents outright reject

open communication and children speaking

their minds is often labeled as

disrespectful and disobedient because

answering back is the biggest sin in the

parenting world and I'll tell you what's

even worse is emotional manipulation at

times a lot of parents use guil tripping

and emotional blackmail to control their

children without even realizing saying

things like we sacrifice so much for you

and this is how you repay

us this for some children can make a

parents love and support feel

conditional transactional and something

that can only be achieved and received

through good marks or by following their

orders wo wo wo wo stop did you like the

way that video was edited well I'm doing

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the thing is it's not a lie that Indian

parents do make a lot of sacrifices for

us all parents do as much as 49% of

Indian parents work extra hours and take

a second job to pay for their children's

University education about 64% of Indian

parents have taken on depth to put their

kids to University but I wanted to

imagine a situation here okay imagine

you're a child from tier 2 or tier three

city in India your parents don't have

the means to afford higher education for

you so they draw out a loan and send you

for J or neat coaching they take this

loan with understanding that you will

make it to a good college and you will

be able to repay the loans however mid

prep you realize that your aptitude

isn't good maybe you feel a bit

disinterested in the course and

environment of the coaching Institute

altoe every test you give your rank and

scores take a hit subsequently your

confidence too for a parent in this

situation who has already incurred a

loan it can be quite stressful to know

that kid isn't doing well but they are

trapped too they have to repay the loan

and your education is of utmost

importance moreover you are stressed

because you feel responsible for doing

well but do not have the mental or

physical health to Ace the test and any

step you take has repercussions for you

and your parents' overall well-being in

fact because of situations like these

earlier this year three children in Kota

took their lives by suicide because they

couldn't cope with the fact that their J

grades were poor and their parents had

taken a loan and you know what on an

average 35 Indian students take their

lives on a daily basis these kind of

situations leave the parents the family

and all of their dreams in worse shape

than where they began let's say we take

another scenario where we assume this

child from a poor socio economic

background does well on the test and

secures a place in an institution of

choice they still have to fight another

battle when it comes to finally getting

a job and God forbid they graduate

during a recession or when the world's

Tech is changing at such a fast pace as

right now they'll find it so difficult

to land a job in this environment and

might remain underemployed for a long

long time so imagine this child from a

poor social economic background steps

into the world well worsed in the rules

of the game only to later realize the

game of the success has changed see now

you must be like is this really a

parents fault the job market is bad how

can you attribute this to parents I

agree with you a lot of it is not our

parents fault but they are the ones that

are pushing children to these fields

because they don't know any better so

how will they honestly they don't even

know what they are doing wrong when I

was researching for my previous startup

I realized that parenting is actually a

full-time job and there is no coaching

for parenting they didn't have internet

or podcast they could go and watch

whenever they fa any problems in fact

they had zero Guidance the only

reference point that they had was people

around them and their parents and think

about the times our grandparents and our

parents grew up in what were the kind of

jobs that were available during those

times it was only in the post

Independence era when we had all these

white colar jobs and honestly during

those times education was the only means

to securing a job and a better life for

middle class it was the ticket out of

poverty into respectability

doctors engineers and bureaucrats formed

the ranks of the new Elite so pushing

your kid into these professions became

the ultimate aim of parenting also a

very important thing to understand here

is a lot of our parents were raised with

a scarcity mindset meaning they see Life

as a zero some game and end up saving

and holding resources playing it safe to

avoid losing what they have following

society's definition of success instead

of their own and this mindset is common

among majority of Indian parents because

a lot of them came from very little yet

this is the same mindset that can hold

you back is the mindset the difference

our parents from understanding the

concept of risk all together risk is

seen a scary something that will destroy

your career when that's not the true

case in fact minimizing risk all your

life can be the biggest risk you're

taking risk of living a life that you

didn't want to it's also worth noting

that the safe path often isn't safe at

all just look at all the tech folks who

are getting laid off from corporate jobs

right now and honestly it doesn't end

here sometimes times the weight of all

these expectations can be crippling and

straight up harmful here are some

long-term impacts that I spoke about

earlier that I will be listing out see

Indian parents want you to listen to

them at every stage of life this type of

helicopter parenting discourages

critical thinking skills by dictating

your academic path and career choices

from a very young age think about it

okay when you go out in the real world

and all You' have been taught is to

follow orders and be a yes man you are

going to be crushed by the society if

you don't speak up for yourself in

today's socioeconomic environment you

become successful by standing out not by

fitting in you been leverage by being

number one in a field any field not by

being the Thousand person doing the same

average work and parents need to

understand this tell me this okay with

no opportunities to exercise independent

thought how can you expect to

confidently navigate life's biggest

decisions as an adult by diminishing

your appetite for risk- taking by

forcefully labeling certain professions

as the only options you will end up

avoiding any semblance of risk leaving

you paralyzed to explore alternative

paths even after becoming financially

independent suppressing your identity

dreams and individuality in the

single-minded persu of society's narrow

definition of success can honestly breed

long lasting resentment towards your

parents when you realize how they

stifled your authentic self this will

make you feel fundamentally

misunderstood and insecure by

controlling every aspect of your life

without any space for for

self-expression you know never being

able to be your true self cripples your

self-confidence and selfworth over time

it pushes you into living dual life

where you have this obedient public

Persona to please parents while

internally you struggle with your real

identity now I genuinely wish I was

making all of this up but simply look up

Reddit threads on Indian parenting and

you will realize why Indian parenting

needs to be scrutinized time and again

in pop culture because it does harm our

potential and there are more than enough

research papers and studies around it

I'm going to link them all in the

description below if you want to share

them with your parents see I'm also

aware that a lot of comments on this

video will be people who have obeyed

their parents justifying they are right

in doing what they did and I totally

understand you I would defend it too if

I had always obeyed my parents but if by

small chance you are someone who seeks

to feel understood by your parents I

want you to know it is possible I have

done it for my career let me give you a

few examples see okay whenever you're

approaching your parent or trying to

make a pitch for yourself you have to

prove how serious you are before you go

and Pitch your idea I'll give you an

example there was a point of time when I

wanted to shift into becoming a uiux

designer and my mom and dad had no idea

what the hell a uiux designer is so I

did all my research about the

opportunities available how many people

are pursuing this career what is the

future of it what is the salary package

I can get also spoke to some other

people who could then come and talk to

my parents so I literally created a

presentation deck and presented it to

them just to ease their anxieties and so

they could trust me into making this

decision and they didn't feel like I was

playing with my career I'll give another

example I also had a friend who switched

to design after completing engineering

she took up freelancing design work

prepared for courses in design school

secured a seat landed a job at a leading

design agency of her own will noticing

the efforts of my friends put in proving

into how serious she was made her

otherwise strict mom trust her more see

I know this might come across as a

little silly to some of you but hear me

out arguing with parents and fighting

for a chance to make your own choices is

kind of like being a salesperson you

need to learn the art of negotiation

think of your parents as the customer

that is buying a product from their

children I know you must be like what is

she saying but it is what it is you got

to understand your customer you got to

understand your parents you got to

understand their motivations what they

want and make your pitch accordingly now

this pitch could be a different career

the choice to join a startup and the

choice to set up a business if you're

suggesting a switch in the subject you

study showing your parents how you will

land a job what the job prospects are

and how you will figure it out is the

key if you're pitching your dream of

working at a startup talking to them how

that will help your career in the future

will be an important discussion so have

all of your points and proof ready see

it's simple okay if you decide to make a

case for making new choices then what

your parents wanted you will have to do

some homework on how you will achieve

the desired result and think of these

conversations with your parents as a way

to to negotiate for a life that you

create on your own and don't go into

these battles with ego and anger go into

these negotiations with a lot of points

back in what you're seeing also know

that a good compromise is when both the

parties are disatisfied so your parents

may not agree at once but if you really

want to make different choices you will

have to keep negotiating sure against my

positive stories there will be hundreds

where parents still don't listen that is

the default Indian parents operate at

but as someone witnessing how fast

technology and economy is changing I

want to warn you and through you your

parents that most of the ways of

securing a future or being successful

are already outdated or soon will be now

if you're an Indian parent watching this

I've got a message for you see I know

you want the best for your child I know

youve worked hard and sacrificed so much

to give them a better life but sometimes

in your desire to protect them and guide

your child you can end up pushing them

away you see your children are growing

up in a very different world than the

one you grew up in the rules have

changed the opportunities have expanded

and the definition of success has

evolved what worked for you may not work

for them and that is okay your pressure

your expectations your rigid beliefs

they can be suffocating for your child

they can make them feel like they're not

good enough like they'll never measure

up to your standards and that is a heavy

burden to bear for a child you know

there's a reason why so many young

Indians move away from their parents as

soon as they can it's not because they

don't love you or respect you it's

because they need space to breathe to

grow to figure out who they are and what

they want I am sorry but your children

are not your extensions they are not

your trophy to flaunt in public they are

their own people with their own desires

beliefs and ideologies and they are

growing up in a really complex world at

really complex times and you don't want

them to grow up into individuals with

mental health problems because of you

please don't suffocate them I know

you're worried about their safety and

their future but the more you try to

control them the more you'll push them

away the more you try to protect them

from the world the less prepared they'll

be to face it instead focus on building

a strong Foundation of love trust and

communication create a space where your

child feels heard value and supported

and most importantly be willing to learn

from them your child may know more than

you in certain areas and that's a good

thing not a bad thing they can teach you

about new technologies new IDE ideas new

ways of thinking don't be afraid to

admit when you're wrong or when you

don't have all the answers honestly this

vulnerability the humility will only

stand on your Bor I know it's a

difficult Journey but the rewards of a

healthy honest relationship with your

child are immeasurable it's never too

late to start your child is waiting for

you hoping for you and rooting for you

all you got to do is accept some of your

shortcomings and be willing to take the

first step that's all lastly if you're

someone who going through a tough

relationship with your parents and has

been able to tackle it or come out of it

please do share your experiences in the

comments below if it could help someone

else feel less lonely and figured how to

tackle it better nothing like it anyway

that's all for today's video my name is

atina Maya thank you for watching please

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