NEVER Feel Anxiety Again When Giving A Speech (5 EASY Methods)

Summary

In this engaging video, the speaker candidly shares a personal story of a nerve-wracking speaking engagement that went awry due to unmanaged nerves. The narrative pivots to offer practical advice on overcoming stage fright, emphasizing the importance of controlling one's body through techniques like box breathing and managing the mind by adopting a service-oriented mindset. Additional tips include tactical pauses, slowing down speech, engaging in brief exercise to reduce adrenaline, and understanding personal triggers to gradually desensitize fear. The speaker's relatable anecdotes and actionable strategies aim to empower viewers to conquer nervousness in high-stakes situations.

Takeaways

• 😅 The speaker recalls a nerve-wracking speaking engagement early in their career where they sweated excessively due to anxiety.
• 👔 Wearing black clothing was a strategy to hide sweat stains, indicating the physical impact of nerves on the speaker's body.
• 🤝 A CEO's loose handshake and questioning the speaker's experience highlighted the speaker's inner turmoil and lack of confidence.
• 🧘 Controlling the body through techniques like box breathing can help manage nerves by reducing physical trembles that affect the voice.
• 🤯 The speaker emphasizes that the voice trembles due to body tension, suggesting that relaxation techniques are essential for public speaking.
• 💡 Adopting a mindset of service, focusing on the audience rather than oneself, can alleviate self-consciousness and nervousness.
• 📢 Pausing, taking deep breaths, and slowing down speech rate are tactical methods to manage nerves in the moment and prevent a spiral of escalating anxiety.
• 🏃 Engaging in brisk exercise before a speaking event can help dissipate excess adrenaline, thus reducing the physical symptoms of nervousness.
• 🔍 Understanding personal triggers for nervousness is the first step towards managing them effectively.
• 🍽 Desensitizing fear through incremental exposure, like making toasts in casual settings, can build confidence for more significant public speaking engagements.

Q & A

What was the speaker's biggest professional fail?

The speaker's biggest professional fail was a speaking gig for a Building Association in New South Wales, Sydney, where they were extremely nervous and sweating profusely.

Why did the speaker wear black clothes for their first speaking gig?

The speaker wore black clothes to hide the sweat stains caused by their nervousness during the presentation.

How did the CEO's reaction affect the speaker after their first speech?

The CEO's nervous look and loose handshake made the speaker feel even more nervous and sweaty, indicating that their performance might not have been well-received.

What is the first technique the speaker suggests to manage nerves?

The first technique is to control your body through box breathing, which involves inhaling, holding, exhaling, and holding again for four counts each.

How does controlling the mind help in managing nerves during high-stakes situations?

Controlling the mind involves adopting a mindset of service, focusing on the audience rather than oneself, which reduces self-consciousness and nervousness.

What tactical move can one use to manage nerves in the moment?

One can pause, take a deep breath, and significantly slow down their rate of speech to calm down and manage nerves in the moment.

Why does the speaker recommend doing some brisk exercise before a speech?

Brisk exercise helps to get rid of excess adrenaline, which is released in fight or flight situations and can cause the body to shake.

What is the purpose of understanding and desensitizing your triggers according to the speaker?

Understanding and desensitizing triggers helps to manage the fear associated with them, such as public speaking, by gradually exposing oneself to similar but less intimidating situations.

How does the speaker suggest practicing public speaking in a casual setting?

The speaker suggests making toasts at dinner with friends or standing during a Zoom call to practice presenting in a more casual and less intimidating environment.

What is the 'spiral of doom' mentioned by the speaker?

The 'spiral of doom' refers to the cycle of speaking faster due to nervousness, which in turn makes the speaker feel more nervous, leading to an escalating cycle of increased nervousness and speech speed.

What is the final bonus tip the speaker gives for managing nerves?

The final bonus tip is to understand what triggers your nervousness and then desensitize it by gradually exposing yourself to similar situations in a controlled and less intimidating manner.

Outlines

00:00

😅 Overcoming Nerves: A Public Speaker's Experience

The speaker recounts a nerve-wracking early speaking engagement for a Building Association in Sydney, where they sweated profusely due to anxiety. Despite thinking the presentation went well, the CEO's nervous greeting and loose handshake indicated otherwise. The speaker then shares five strategies for managing nerves in high-stakes situations: controlling body movements to prevent voice trembling, practicing box breathing to calm the body, adopting a mindset of service to focus on the audience rather than oneself, pausing and slowing down speech to counteract the tendency to speak quickly when nervous, and engaging in brief exercise to reduce adrenaline levels. The speaker emphasizes understanding and managing personal triggers to desensitize the fear of public speaking.

05:00

🎯 Desensitizing Public Speaking Anxiety

The speaker provides a method to desensitize the fear of public speaking by gradually increasing the comfort level with presenting in front of others. They suggest starting with a small, familiar group, like friends during dinner, and making a toast to practice speaking in public. The speaker encourages standing while delivering the toast to simulate a presentation environment. They also recommend escalating the challenge by standing during a Zoom call or team meeting to further desensitize the fear. The speaker invites the audience to continue learning about public speaking and managing nerves by following a link to the next video, promising valuable insights.

Keywords

💡Nerves

Nerves are feelings of anxiety or tension, often experienced before or during high-stress situations like public speaking. In the video, the speaker describes their nervousness during their first professional speaking gig, which was so intense that they sweated profusely and felt their body trembling. This term is central to the video's theme of managing anxiety in high-stakes situations.

💡Box Breathing

Box breathing is a technique used to control and reduce stress by regulating the breath. It involves inhaling, holding, exhaling, and holding the breath again, each for a count of four. The video suggests using box breathing to calm the body and mind before a high-stakes situation, as it helps in managing nerves and reducing the physical symptoms of anxiety.

💡Mindset of Service

A mindset of service refers to approaching a situation with the intention of helping or serving others rather than focusing on oneself. The speaker advises adopting this mindset when facing a high-stakes situation to reduce self-consciousness and nervousness. By shifting focus from oneself to the audience, one can feel less nervous and more confident, as illustrated by the speaker's suggestion to think about serving the audience rather than oneself.

💡Trembling Voice

A trembling voice is a common symptom of nervousness, often caused by the body's physical response to stress. The video discusses how a trembling body can cause the voice to shake, which can be a sign of nervousness. The speaker shares personal experience where their voice and body were trembling due to nerves, highlighting the need to control the body to manage the voice during presentations.

💡Adrenaline

Adrenaline is a hormone that prepares the body for a 'fight or flight' response in stressful situations. The video explains that the release of adrenaline can cause physical symptoms like shaking, which can be detrimental to public speaking. The speaker suggests ways to manage adrenaline, such as through exercise, to help control the body's response and reduce nervousness.

💡Desensitization

Desensitization is the process of reducing sensitivity or responsiveness to a particular stimulus. In the context of the video, the speaker talks about desensitizing the fear of public speaking by gradually exposing oneself to smaller, less intimidating speaking situations. This strategy helps in building confidence and reducing anxiety over time.

💡High-Stakes Situation

A high-stakes situation is an event or circumstance where the outcome is significantly important and can have substantial consequences. The video focuses on managing nerves and anxiety in such situations, such as important presentations or job interviews. The speaker shares personal anecdotes and strategies to cope with the pressure and perform well.

💡Public Speaking

Public speaking is the act of addressing an audience, which can be a source of anxiety for many people. The video script revolves around the speaker's experiences and strategies for managing nerves during public speaking engagements. It provides practical advice on controlling the body and mind to deliver a successful speech.

💡Fight or Flight

The fight or flight response is a physiological reaction to a perceived harmful event, which involves a rapid release of adrenaline. In the video, the speaker relates this concept to the body's reaction when facing a high-stakes situation, such as public speaking, and suggests ways to manage this response to reduce nervousness.

💡Self-Consciousness

Self-consciousness is an acute awareness of one's own appearance, actions, or thoughts, often leading to nervousness or embarrassment. The video discusses how excessive self-consciousness can exacerbate nervousness during high-stakes situations. The speaker advises shifting focus from oneself to the audience to alleviate this feeling.

💡Toast

A toast is a ceremonial act of drinking to someone's health or well-being, often involving a short speech. In the video, the speaker uses the example of making toasts in casual settings as a method for practicing and desensitizing oneself to the fear of public speaking in a more controlled and less intimidating environment.

Highlights

The speaker shares a personal story of nervousness during an early speaking engagement.

Wearing black to hide sweat stains due to extreme nervousness.

The CEO's nervous look and loose handshake intensified the speaker's anxiety.

The realization that the speaker 'bombed' the presentation due to unmanaged nerves.

Advice on controlling the body to manage voice trembling during high-stakes situations.

Introduction of 'box breathing' as a technique to calm the body and voice.

The importance of controlling the mind and adopting a service mindset to reduce nervousness.

Tactical advice on pausing and slowing down speech to manage nerves in the moment.

The correlation between fast speech and increased nervousness.

Managing adrenaline through brisk exercise to reduce shakes and nervousness.

Understanding personal triggers as a step towards managing nerves.

Desensitizing fear by practicing public speaking in low-pressure environments.

The concept of making a toast as a method to practice and desensitize public speaking fear.

Standing during video calls as a way to simulate presenting and reduce fear.

Encouragement to continue the learning journey and explore more techniques.

Transcripts

oh I can't believe I'm sharing this this

is my biggest fail as a professional

speaker one of the first speaking gigs I

ever did in my career was for a Building

Association in New South Wales in Sydney

and I remember the first time I did the

speech I was super excited but I was so

nervous inside and I knew that I was

going to be nervous I wore a black shirt

and black pants to hide all the sweat

stains because I was sweating here I was

sweating there I didn't even know I

could sweat here and down here I was

sweating everywhere and I did the

presentation I thought it kind of went

well but I knew deep in my soul that it

was probably bad but as I walked off

stage the CEO was already there to greet

me he had a slight nervous look on his

face which made me feel even more

nervous and then I sweat even more and

then as I went to shake his hand he

shook my hand really Loosely and he

said Vin have you have you done this

before a man saying that gives me the

hey jeebies right now that was one of

the worst experiences of my life I

didn't know how to deal with nerves and

as a result I bombed if I had my time

back here's five things I would have

done to manage those nerves before you

go into a high stake situation you want

to control your body the reason why your

voice is trembling is because your body

is trembling it's not that the voice is

shaking the body is shaking which then

causes the voice to shake I mean try to

hold at your hand like this okay hold

your hand out like this and just hold it

there as still as you can it's pretty

still isn't it yeah it is now I want you

to tense your hand tense it really hard

and when you're tensing it what happens

to your hand when you tense it look I'm

trying to tense it really hard and I'm

like I'm like vibrating right do you

notice that when you're nervous your

body tenses up and when it tenses up it

starts to shake so you want to control

the body and the way you can control the

body is box breathing right Navy Seals

do this the the military use this all

the time and box breathing is you

breathe in for 4 counts you hold for 4

counts you breathe out for 4 counts you

hold for 4 counts try it I'll talk you

through it just try just try it don't

judge it just try it just fully

exhale breathe in for 1 2 3 4 hold 1 2 3

4 breathe out 1 2 3 4 hold 1 2 3

4 how do you feel it's incredible right

it's such a powerful tool that we all

have access to anytime we need it so

when you use something like box

breathing it relaxes your body and when

your body's relaxed your voice is not

going to tremble that's the first thing

you could do that's with your body the

second thing is you want to control your

mind and in your own mind you need to

think to yourself that this high stake

situation that I'm going into this

presentation that I'm walking into this

speech that I'm about to give for my

best friend for at their wedding this

job interview that I'm going into get

into a mindset of service I'm here to

serve the people that are in front of me

it's not about me it's not about me

because if you become really

self-conscious and you keep thinking

about yourself you're going to become

more nervous because you're thinking me

me me me me me me right instead of doing

that think about the audience focus on

the audience and by taking that

self-consciousness taking that

Consciousness away from the self and

placing it on others it starts to reduce

the nervousness as well so you want to

control your body and you want to

control your mind there's a tactical

thing you can do as well if you are in

the moment and you're noticing yourself

getting really worked up and your voice

is trembling well there's one thing you

can do you can pause take a deep breath

and then

significantly slow down your rate of

speech by slowing down your rate of

speech it calms you down and I can tell

you right now that when someone is

nervous one of the most common things

they do is they speak faster because

they want this to be over and done with

so they speak faster and then as a

result they and then the faster you

speak the more you're communicating to

your mind that you are nervous and this

is where that spiral of Doom starts to

happen because the faster you speak the

more nervous you think you are the more

nervous you think you are the faster you

speak and then it's just this terrible

terrible cycle so that's a wonderful

tool to be able to snap you out of that

cycle in the moment manage your

adrenaline adrenaline gets released when

we are in those fight or flight

situations before you go on stage and

deliver if you're starting to feel those

nerves and you're going oh my goodness I

can feel the hands trembling it's not

only because it's tense but because your

body is St to release excessive amounts

of adrenaline to get you ready for fight

or flight now going up and giving a

speech there's no reason to to produce

all that adrenaline you you don't have

to fight anybody you don't have to run

away so you want to get rid of some of

that adrenaline and the way you do that

is a little bit of brisk exercise again

you don't do this in front of everyone

but just out in the hallway just do 10

push-ups or even go for a 5minute brisk

walk by doing that you get rid of all

the excess adrenaline which therefore

will help you manage the shakes the last

bonus one is understand your triggers

understand what triggers you and once

you understand what triggers you you

then can manage it so if you know

precisely that speaking in public is a

trigger even by being able to label it

and by understanding it and by knowing

that makes you nervous that's going to

help already after that then desensitize

it so say for example you know that

speaking in front of 10 people is really

nerve-wracking right he like ah then the

next time you're at dinner with your

friends and there's only two or three

people I mean that's public speaking

right but to just up the ante a little

bit while you're speaking to to your

friends say hey I want to make a toast

this evening and as you're sitting there

by you just saying hey I want to make a

toast this evening all of a sudden now

this changes the frame from this is just

being a conversation but I'm going to

deliver a speech and deliver a 30-second

speech to your friends at dinner three

of them and just go hey I want to make a

toast this evening I want to make a

toast to Great friendships I want to

make a toast to being the the kind of

friend that no matter what time you call

me during the day no matter what time

you call me during the night I'm going

to answer right and and just make a

speech and do a 30C speech and then you

will you'll start to feel that fear

trust me and then do you know what level

two of that is the next time you're with

some different friends stand up and make

a toast don't just sit stand up and make

a toast I already know what some of you

are thinking you're like oh then that's

so weird it's only weird if you make it

weird stand up and say hey I just want

to take a moment to to share my

appreciation for the two of you you know

it's it's and also I'm I'm I'm going to

call this out tonight I'm going to be

paying for dinner so I want to say I

love you I'm grateful for you and here's

to Great friendships do a little toast

sit back down I'm serious because all of

a sudden as you do this you're starting

to desensitize the fear of presenting

right and then you can go to level three

of this and level three of this is when

you're at work next time and you're on a

zoom call stand on the zoom call because

it feels more like you're presenting

when you're in your team meetings and

there's four or five people stand as you

deliver your part of the meeting and

again it's only weird if you make it

weird all you have to if you want to

stand in the team meeting is and it's

your turn to talk you go hey everyone do

you mind if I just quickly stand I need

to stretch my legs I've been sitting all

day do you mind if I stand for this

5minute presentation that I'm about to

do thanks everyone stand and then

deliver it the more you do it the more

you'll desensitize that fear and if you

want to continue The Learning Journey

and go down the rabbit hole with me

click this next video you're going to

love it