Vusi Thembekwayo teaches business growth and ways of winning in life at Lagos Nigeria

Summary

The speaker emphasizes the importance of having a mentor in various aspects of life, distinguishing between a coach, who walks the path with you, and a mentor, who guides you from experience. The speaker shares personal stories, including the impact of mentorship on their faith and business, and how a mentor's advice shifted their perspective on ownership and responsibility. They also discuss the role of sponsors in professional advancement and provide practical advice on building valuable relationships, using a humorous anecdote about a man trying to attract a woman's attention to illustrate the concept of charm versus stalking.

Takeaways

• 🧑‍🏫 The importance of having a mentor: A mentor provides guidance and direction, whereas a coach walks the path with you, and a sponsor advocates for you in places you don't have access.
• 🔄 The speaker has four mentors in different areas of his life, emphasizing the value of diverse perspectives and expertise.
• 🙏 The significance of faith: The speaker believes that God has given him his abilities and that he is merely a steward of his talents and business.
• 💼 A shift in perspective on ownership: The speaker was told that 'God owns your business,' which changed his approach to business and ethics.
• 🚫 Ethical boundaries in business: Recognizing the true 'owner' of the business leads to making decisions that align with ethical and moral responsibilities.
• 🛫 The concept of legacy: Building something that outlives you requires thinking of yourself as a custodian rather than an owner.
• 🤝 The necessity of sponsors: In various industries, having a sponsor can make the difference between success and failure, especially in accessing opportunities.
• 💰 The wisdom of financial mentors: Even if a mentor is not wealthier, their wisdom with money can guide you to make better financial decisions.
• 🤔 Cultivating relationships: Building valuable relationships involves asking the right questions and offering solutions to others' problems.
• 🚶‍♂️ The responsibility of leaders: Leaders must take responsibility for selecting and training their team, ensuring they are competent and capable.
• 💬 The art of communication: The speaker shares a humorous anecdote about how to stand out when trying to get someone's attention, highlighting the importance of being memorable and respectful.

Q & A

What is the primary role of a coach according to the speaker?

The speaker describes a coach as someone who has walked the path and walks it with you, guiding you through the journey.

How does the speaker differentiate between a mentor and a coach?

The mentor provides direction, like signs on a road, whereas a coach actively walks the path with you. The mentor tells you 'go that way', while the coach is with you every step of the way.

What is the significance of having a mentor in four different areas of life according to the speaker?

The speaker believes in having mentors in different areas of life to provide specialized guidance and wisdom, such as faith, physical health, finances, and other areas that require specific knowledge and support.

How has the speaker's mentor influenced his perspective on business ownership?

The speaker's mentor helped him understand that he does not own his business but is merely in charge of it, with God being the true owner. This shift in perspective changed his approach to business and accountability.

What is the concept of 'custodianship' as it relates to business and career according to the speaker?

The concept of 'custodianship' refers to viewing oneself as a caretaker or manager of something rather than the owner. This mindset encourages accountability to a higher power and the idea of passing on the responsibility to the next generation.

Why is having a sponsor important in the speaker's industry?

Having a sponsor is crucial because they can advocate for you in places where you have no access or influence. Sponsors can help bypass certain application processes and open doors that would otherwise be closed.

What advice does the speaker give on building a relationship with a mentor?

The speaker advises against directly asking someone to be your mentor. Instead, one should build a relationship of value by asking about their concerns and offering help, which can lead to a mentor-mentee relationship.

What is the role of a sponsor according to the speaker?

A sponsor's role is to be present in rooms where you have no access and to advocate for you, telling others why you are the best person for a particular journey or opportunity.

How does the speaker emphasize the importance of accountability in relationships?

The speaker emphasizes accountability by sharing personal stories, such as his mentor's advice on business ownership and his finance mentor's wisdom, which helps him make better decisions.

What is the story the speaker shares about a young man trying to get a woman's attention on social media?

The speaker shares a story of a young man named Ronaldo who is trying to get the attention of a woman he admires on social media. The speaker advises him to send a message saying 'where should I send it' and then unsend it after two days if there's no response, repeating the process until she replies.

What advice does the speaker give on how to handle the situation when the woman finally replies to Ronaldo's message?

The speaker advises Ronaldo to play it cool and respond by saying he was hoping to take her out for a cup of coffee but acknowledges that he doesn't deserve her time, which can make him seem charming and intriguing.

Outlines

00:00

🧑‍🏫 The Role of a Mentor in Personal and Business Growth

The speaker emphasizes the importance of having a mentor in various aspects of life. They explain the distinction between a coach and a mentor, with the coach being a guide who walks the path with you, and the mentor being a directional sign pointing you towards the right direction. The speaker has four mentors, each serving a different area of their life, including faith, which is crucial as they believe their talents and success are gifts from God. They also share a transformative moment when a mentor told them that they don't own their business but are merely entrusted with it by God, which has led to a significant change in their approach to business and life, focusing on accountability and stewardship.

05:03

🤝 The Importance of Mentorship and Financial Wisdom

The speaker discusses the significance of mentorship in different life domains, including physical health and financial management. They admit to seeking guidance from a mentor who, despite not being wealthier, possesses greater wisdom regarding money. The mentor's advice has helped the speaker make wiser financial decisions, such as questioning the need for a private jet when flying first class on commercial airlines is just as comfortable and cost-effective. The speaker also humorously touches on the nature of salespeople and their attentiveness when they believe a sale is imminent, advising against making impulsive purchases based on ego and instead seeking the wisdom of a trusted mentor.

10:04

🤔 The Concept of Sponsorship and Building Relationships

The speaker introduces the concept of sponsorship and distinguishes it from mentorship and coaching. A sponsor is someone who advocates for you in places where you have no access, helping you navigate through systems that require influence. They stress the importance of cultivating relationships with sponsors and the benefits it brings, such as easing the process of raising capital. The speaker also provides advice on how to approach potential sponsors by asking them about their concerns and offering value, rather than directly asking them to be a mentor, which is often ineffective.

15:05

💬 Crafting Connection: A Story of Attraction and Strategy

The speaker narrates a story about a young man seeking advice on how to attract the attention of a woman he admires on social media. The speaker suggests a strategic yet charming approach of sending a message that piques curiosity without being intrusive. The advice includes sending a message asking 'where should I send it' and then unsending it after two days if there's no response, to avoid coming across as a stalker. The story concludes with the woman finally responding, intrigued by the message, which leads to a successful engagement between the two.

20:14

🥳 The Art of Conversation and Securing a Date

Continuing from the previous story, the speaker describes the next steps the young man should take after getting the woman's attention. They advise him to play it cool and respond with humility, suggesting coffee but also acknowledging that he might not deserve her time. This approach is meant to make him stand out as a charming and respectful suitor, increasing the chances of securing a date. The speaker uses this anecdote to illustrate the power of thoughtful and considerate communication in building connections.

Keywords

💡mentor

A mentor is someone who provides guidance, advice, and support to help another person grow and develop, often in a professional or personal capacity. In the video's theme, mentors are crucial for personal development and success. The speaker mentions having four mentors in different areas of life, emphasizing the importance of seeking wisdom and guidance from those who have experience in specific fields.

💡coach

A coach is an individual who helps others by providing training, instruction, and support, often in a sports or performance context. However, in the video, the coach is differentiated from a mentor by being someone who has walked the path and walks it with you, offering direct, hands-on experience and support.

💡faith

Faith, in the context of the video, refers to a deep belief or trust in a higher power or spiritual principle. The speaker discusses having a mentor in faith, indicating the importance of spiritual guidance in aligning personal values with professional and public life.

💡accountability

Accountability is the expectation and obligation to report, explain, and be responsible for one's actions. The video emphasizes the importance of accountability in various relationships, such as mentorship and sponsorship, where individuals are held responsible for their actions and decisions.

💡custodian

A custodian, in the context of the video, is someone who is entrusted with the care and management of something, but does not own it. The speaker uses the term to illustrate the concept of viewing oneself not as an owner but as a steward or caretaker of one's business or life, which can lead to a shift in perspective and behavior.

💡sponsor

A sponsor, in the video, is someone who endorses or supports another person's cause, project, or career advancement. The speaker explains that sponsors can help bypass traditional application processes and open doors in professional settings, highlighting the importance of having influential advocates.

💡wisdom

Wisdom refers to the deep understanding and knowledge that comes from experience and learning. The video's speaker values wisdom, particularly in the context of mentorship, as it provides insight and perspective that can guide decision-making and personal growth.

💡responsibility

Responsibility is the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something. In the video, the concept of responsibility is tied to the idea of being a custodian, where one is responsible for managing something they do not own, leading to a greater sense of duty and ethical behavior.

💡legacy

Legacy refers to something transmitted by or received from one's ancestors or predecessors, such as property, traditions, or values. The speaker discusses building a legacy that outlives the individual, which is a powerful motivator for thinking long-term and acting as a custodian rather than an owner.

💡personal branding

Personal branding is the process of creating a unique image or identity in the public eye. The video touches on personal branding when discussing how one is perceived, especially in the context of social media and the importance of standing out and being memorable.

💡relationship building

Relationship building is the process of establishing and nurturing interpersonal connections. The video emphasizes the importance of cultivating relationships with mentors, sponsors, and others in one's field to gain support, advice, and opportunities.

Highlights

The importance of having a mentor and distinguishing between a coach and a mentor.

Coaches walk the path with you, while mentors guide you from a distance.

The speaker meets with his mentors every 90 days to discuss and reflect on their progress.

Having multiple mentors in different areas of life can provide a well-rounded support system.

The role of faith in personal and professional development.

The realization that one's talents and abilities are gifts to be used for a higher purpose.

The value of wisdom gained through time and experience in one's career.

The transformative impact of understanding that one is not the owner but a steward of their business and life.

The concept of building a legacy that outlives the individual by thinking of oneself as a custodian.

The responsibility and accountability that come with recognizing a higher power as the true owner of one's endeavors.

The importance of selecting and training the right people to ensure the success of a business or endeavor.

The role of a sponsor in advocating for you and opening doors that may otherwise be closed.

The significance of cultivating relationships with sponsors who can influence decisions in areas where one lacks access.

The difference in treatment between those with sponsors and those without in various life and business scenarios.

The art of building valuable relationships by genuinely caring about and addressing the concerns of others.

The humorous anecdote about a man trying to get the attention of a woman he admires through creative and persistent messaging.

Transcripts

second thing you need is a mentor

now what's the difference between a

coach and a mentor

think of it this way

the coach is the road that goes from

Mainland into VI

the mental is the signs having you where

VI is if you're in mainland

did you get that

all right I'm going to stay down slower

again

the coach

has literally walked the path and as you

walk the path they walk it with you

the mentor just says go that way

that's the difference

so my mentor number four

my mentors I look with them every single

90 days

every 90 days we come back and we sit

down and we look the things we discussed

and by the way my four mentors on four

because they're in four areas of my life

I've got a mentor who works with me in

my faith

because I've come into this space where

I realized that God didn't give me the

gift of this voice and the ability to

hold this microphone so that I make

myself good but to glorify him

[Applause]

about for me to even have the wisdom to

understand that I turn professional as a

public speaker at 19 I'm 38 now I've

been in this game for 19 years when I

turned professional at 19.

20 years I've been doing what I've been

doing and the difference between busy

today and busy at 19 is the wisdom of

time and experiences that I've had

but it's taken that wisdom of time and

experiences for me to recognize this

that I live and walk by faith and only

by his grace have I achieved what I've

achieved

so this then not with

that I need

I need as I develop my faith

because I have questions that I don't

have answers to and so I Ask Of My

Mentor how would you approach this

I want to share something with you guys

I'm so excited to share this

about 18 months ago my business changed

changed

change change changed

and here's why

18 months ago

my uh my mentor said something to me

that changed my life

he said this he said

the problem with you is you think you

own your business

I said but I do

to know my friend

God owns your business

you're just the one he decided to put in

charge

God owns your business you're the one he

decided to put in charge

God owns your marriage you're just the

one who decided to bless everybody

when you

move from a place

where you go I don't own this thing I

have simply been trusted with the

responsibility of making this thing real

it changes everything

see because when you own everything you

are accountable to you

but if he owns it

now there is a level of accountability

so now there's certain things I can't do

as certain deals like Han signing

there's certain meetings I will never

attend you a certain contracts I will

never be part of because I recognize

that I've got a fight douchery

responsibility

to the true owner of my business

[Applause]

your life change

if you gave your business your career

and the advancement of yourself to the

true owner of those things and thought

of yourself just as the custodian for

this moment let me tell you why this is

so powerful let me tell you why this is

so powerful

there are some in this room

when you die

whatever you're doing

will die

and the difference between those of us

who will build things that outlive us

is when we think of ourselves as

custodians

not owners

the captain

sailing machine

doesn't own the ship

he's just trusted to sail the ship

the pilot flying the plane

doesn't own the airline

he's just trusted with flying the plane

and so when you think of yourself then

as somebody who has been trusted with

this season it means this it means you

build knowing that a season will come

where you must hand over to the Next

Generation and I play and rest upon you

that when that time comes you know how

to hand over to the Next Generation

so it changed my business

do you know why I changed my business

because the first thing I then had to do

was look around and go which of these

people around me could I head over to

I nothing

and by the way that's not a reflection

on them

that's a reflection on me

the old expression

used in the armies of Rome

was this

there is no such thing as a bad Soldier

only a bad General

if you are leading people today

and they are incapable incompetent and

not hitting their numbers that's on you

not them

because it means you haven't taken the

time to select and train your soldiers

so that they are ready for the incidence

of War

and so when you go into the marketplace

to trade they can't compete

and rather than we as Leaders take

responsibility we default that

responsibility to our people

so get you a mentor

those four areas for me first a mentor

in my faith

second the mentor and my physical health

oh I look so good

I was always like that I used to look

like no never mind

I mentored my finances

that's a tough one

that's a tough one

and you know the crazy thing about the

mentor in my finances is she's actually

not wealthier than me

she's not

she's a fraction she has a a fraction of

my wealth

but she has 10 times my wisdom with

money

so I just trust her wisdom with money

that's wisdom

because if it was up to me I'll buy that

jet

she's asking me but doesn't the airline

also arrive on time

and you know if you fly first class it's

pretty much the same thing

and the difference between the airline

and flying first class is you don't have

to pay the hangar fees

I I haven't told my brother for me this

I was actually going to buy a jet I was

yeah yeah I went to the air show

everything

I went and had a look

and

you know you sales people are so nice

huh

sales people are your best friend

when they think you're going to give the

money

they answer every phone call every

WhatsApp everything ladies is like the

guy when he's still asking you out sales

people are the same way they love you

when they think money is going to come

out of you

the minute the money has come out ah

they are gone

then chop your money and then they leave

so I'm discussed I'm thinking about it I

go to the air shows I have a look and

then you walk in and you know they they

even call you by your last name Mr

Timber

have you ever heard a Swiss person or a

French person say Timberline

it's a very nice situation

we we do a lot of personalization though

even on the chair we put the initials

I even pray to my father I'm like God

you have blessed me oh

I want it but that's my ego

because in my head I'm immediately

thinking about what are they gonna say

when I land that that's it

they hate me now they're gonna really

hate me when it says YouTube

that's where my head is right

so what do I learn out of this

have a conversation with her and she's

like but hold on listen to this this is

literally what she said to me

she said

don't people already know who you are

well the ones who need to do

in dollars on a pressurized mental

to make a statement that you've already

been marked correct for

what are you trying to prove and to whom

yes

so the point here is that at all with

your finances

I hope the message you're getting out of

this is that creating accountability

with other people is going to get you to

that next stage

and then I said coaches mentors and

sponsors

sponsors

sponsors

so you definitely need a sponsor right

yeah what's a sponsor

whereas the coach

is walking with you in every single step

of your journey

the mentor is keeping you accountable on

why you are on the journey

the sponsor

is telling people why you are the best

person to make the journey

so the sponsor's role

is to be present in the rooms where you

have no access

some of us in this room are working on

projects that require

ments get made by committees and we have

no access or no influence

and we're not spending time cultivating

relationships with people who are

already in those rooms

every single decision is taken by people

who look like just me and you

sponsors

so learning to have relationships

responses game changer

game changer

in my industry and in my field you

cannot raise Capital without sponsors

it's impossible

it cannot be done

because if you don't have a sponsor

and here's the thing you realize when

you don't have a sponsor

there are two application processes in

almost everything we do in life

there is the one designed for everybody

else

and the one designed for people who come

in with sponsors

and everybody else has to fill out the

full application document I'll take

every single box

and those responses get to skip certain

questions

you don't have to answer that question

what's your what's your your fund to

Capital return what kind of capital do

you turn to investors yeah don't worry

about that I've got you I'll discuss

with them at board level we're good

how do you hope to mitigate your

the capital risk and irrs if you don't

yeah don't worry about that you've got

you we'll answer it you're good

sponsors

so in the industry you're in now

get you a sponsor

gets you a sponsor so you need to

culture mentor and a sponsor and to

build those relationships you go and ask

them the single most important question

what's keeping you up at night and you

offer that to them and that builds a

relationship of value

whatever you do do not leave this

meeting

and send a DM

and say can you please be my mentor

that never works

ask yourself the question

200 million people in Nigeria and if you

have somebody you look at and you admire

how many of the other 200 million people

do you think look at the same person

admire them

so what are the odds then that they're

getting all of these these inboxes

saying can you please be my mentor

I shared this with somebody who went

viral the other day I'll share it with

you guys

a young man

he was at my office actually I think he

was there for an interview I'll come for

called a particular set of circumstances

and during the conversation he started

telling me about this young lady that

he's been wanting to date

yeah

he's like you know there's this young

lady and he's describing her to me

and I remember he was so vivid in his

description I could tell that he really

really is enamored with the same lady

he was saying things like her neck is

smooth

Now ladies let me tell you when a man

notices your neck

he likes you

he was saying her neck is smooth

he says to me she's got beautifully

turned ankles

the ankle is beautifully turned

it

how do you have beautifully turned

uncle's Chinese

I'm giving you tips

the difference between the man who likes

you and the man who likes the idea of

you

the man who likes you will notice the

things that the one who likes the idea

of you will never notice

true story

so he's telling me about the set and I

could tell so he's you know he's asking

for my advice

and he's saying you know she's gorgeous

she's beautiful I'm sure she gets a lot

of approaches from men how can I get her

to pay attention to me

because I'm not the wealthiest guy she

knows

I'm probably not the best looking guy

she knows I don't have the highest

number of followers

and by the way this is crazy he hasn't

even met her in person

yeah yeah he follows her on IG

they're engaged now

yeah oh because I'm going to tell you

how I did it no Don't Clap I'll give it

a trick okay

his name is Ronaldo's like

and you know she's just you know I watch

her posts and she and she posts like

going to church she posts to Mom and her

dad she's with her nieces and I can and

every time I go and look at her posts

She's Got 5 000 likes and like 200

comments and I'm here with a small

account of 20 followers

how do I get it to pay attention

ladies go into your DM you find the guy

with 20 followers

give him some attention

how do I get him to pay attention she's

asking me this

I said tell me more about her

because you know she's a person of faith

and she's she's got it she's got like

this this mind and she's she does these

lives and it's just she's just so

amazing

wow

so I said to him here's what you do you

guys want to hear what I said yeah yeah

you don't really want to hear do you

want to hear

so I said here's what you do

you sent her a message

and you say the following

you say

where should I send it

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

thank you

did you get it did you get it now coming

out of this ladies I'm sure

what where should I send it right I said

you sent her a message and you say where

should I send it

then he says what happens if she doesn't

see it or doesn't reply

I said you wait for two days you hit

unsend

you can do that on IG and you send it

again

he says why must I hit unsent I said

because if she opens up that message and

there are five where should I send this

you're getting blocked and getting

reported

the difference between being charming

and being a stalker is one more phone

call to your prospect you need to know

how many calls to make and where to stop

making that goal

stop calling or Prospect saying I was

just following up nobody replies to a

call where you said I'm just following

up

I'm gonna tell you now what to say

rather than I was just following up so I

say to him

you're unsent and you send again

he does this exercise for two weeks

every second day unsense sends again

and every second day nonsense since

again and every second day nonsense

again two weeks later she replies

she says excuse me

send what

now

the answer to this question

Ida makes you the cute Charming Man she

wants to have a dinner with

oh

the person she's sending her uncles to

come and be tougher so you need to think

about the answers to this question

but now remember this he's got currency

because he's got her attention

180 000 followers she had

he's got 22 or 26 it was

but now he's got attention

so she says excuse me

what

I was I wasn't home in Dubai so he calls

me in a panic

[Applause]

Ronald hi she replied

[Music]

he said wait wait what she replied

who replied she she who she she

tells me her name says she look like I

said what did she say He Said She Said

excuse me send what I said what have you

said he said I called you

[Applause]

sausage and well

here's what you say next

you say the following

you say because you can also play the

line and go Coney here right

so I said to him here's what you say

next

you say the following

say

you see the guys paying attention

[Laughter]

yeah yeah

okay all right

what

can I put a full stop by foreign

[Music]

the cup of coffee I was hoping to take

you out for

but know that I don't deserve your time

to have over

click

Standing Ovation come on give it to me

give it to me yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]