What True Love Really Is

Summary

The video script challenges our conventional understanding of love, suggesting that society is in crisis due to a superficial approach to love that focuses on temporary passion. It proposes a redefinition of love with seven key ingredients: charity, imagination, kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, generosity, and patience. These elements emphasize a deeper, more compassionate love that looks beyond surface-level admiration to address the complexities and struggles within ourselves and others. The script advocates for a secular philosophy of love that could guide us towards a more empathetic and understanding humanity.

Takeaways

• 💔 The world's ailment stems from a misunderstanding of love, often reduced to fleeting admiration for superficial qualities.
• 🤔 A new philosophy of love is needed, a secular approach that redefines love beyond traditional and religious interpretations.
• 💕 Love should be about benevolence and gentleness, especially towards the failed, disgraced, and broken aspects of humanity.
• 🔍 Imaginative love involves looking beneath the surface of people's actions to understand the pain and suffering that shaped them.
• 🌟 Kindness is essential in love; it's about showing mercy and sympathy even to those we consider wrong or sinful.
• 🙏 Forgiveness is recognizing our own guilt and extending leniency to others, avoiding self-righteousness.
• 💪 Loyalty in love means standing by people despite societal disapproval or changing tides.
• 💎 Generosity in love is not limited to one person; it extends to strangers, nature, and all living beings.
• 🕰️ Patience in love entails allowing others the time and space to mature and develop at their own pace.
• 🌹 Love is not just a feeling; it's a skill that can be learned and applied to improve our relationships and contribute to a better world.

Q & A

What is the central argument presented in the transcript?

The central argument is that the world is in a state of crisis due to a misunderstanding of love, and that a new philosophy or secular religion of love is needed, which redefined love with seven key ingredients: charity, imagination, kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, generosity, and patience.

How does the transcript redefine love?

The transcript redefines love as an active charity towards failures and mistakes, an imagination that looks beneath the surface to understand suffering, kindness that extends to everyone including sinners, forgiveness recognizing our own guilt, loyalty even when the crowd disagrees, generosity that encompasses all of creation, and patience that allows for growth and development in others.

What is the significance of charity in the context of redefined love?

Charity, in the context of redefined love, signifies benevolence and gentleness towards what is failed, disgraced, or broken in others and ourselves. It involves directing sympathy towards the 'messed up, lost and in pieces' parts of people, and recognizing that we will all eventually require the charity of others.

How does imagination play a role in love?

Imagination in love is about looking beneath the surface of people's actions and behaviors to understand the pain and suffering that led them to their current state. It involves filling in the better reasons behind why others act as they do, seeking out their desperation with a sorrowful gentleness.

What is the importance of kindness in the pursuit of a better world?

Kindness is crucial because it reminds us that everyone, even those we consider sinners, deserve ongoing sympathy and mercy. It is not enough to be right or just; kindness is essential in our interactions with others, regardless of their actions or beliefs.

How does forgiveness relate to recognizing our own guilt?

Forgiveness is about acknowledging our own faults and failures, understanding that we are all guilty in our own ways. This realization leads to cutting each other slack and not withholding love due to past mistakes, promoting a more compassionate and understanding approach to relationships.

What does loyalty mean in the context of love?

In the context of love, loyalty means standing by people, including ourselves, even when the crowd disagrees or when circumstances are difficult. It involves steadfastness and resilient faith in the person or cause, regardless of external opinions or pressures.

How does generosity fit into the redefined concept of love?

Generosity in love is about an overflowing affection that is not limited to one person. It extends to all beings, including strangers, the earth, and even the smallest creatures, reflecting a broad and inclusive capacity for love and care.

Why is patience important in love?

Patience is important in love because it allows others the time and space to mature and develop at their own pace. It involves giving people chances to grow and evolve, even when they go wrong or stray, without rushing them or shouting at them, thus fostering a more understanding and supportive environment.

What is the ultimate goal of redefining love in this manner?

The ultimate goal of redefining love is to shift our focus from romantic or superficial notions of love to a more profound understanding that encompasses all aspects of human interaction and relationship. This shift aims to help us become more compassionate, understanding, and ultimately more human in our approach to others and the world.

How does the transcript suggest we can improve our relationships?

The transcript suggests that by embracing the seven ingredients of redefined love – charity, imagination, kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, generosity, and patience – we can improve our relationships. It implies that these qualities can guide us through the key issues of relationships, ensuring that success in love is not just a matter of luck.

Outlines

00:00

💖 Rediscovering Love: A New Philosophy

This paragraph introduces the concept that the world's problems stem from a misunderstanding of love. It critiques the common, superficial understanding of love as a fleeting emotion focused on physical attributes and suggests the need for a new, secular philosophy of love. The paragraph outlines seven ingredients for this redefined love: charity, imagination, kindness, forgiveness, loyalty, generosity, and patience. Each ingredient is described in a way that emphasizes its importance in understanding and practicing love beyond the conventional, romantic notion.

05:06

🌱 Cultivating Love as a Skill

The second paragraph discusses the application of the redefined love in personal growth and societal improvement. It suggests that embracing these principles of love can lead to a more meaningful contribution to society, regardless of political or personal beliefs. The paragraph also reflects on the transition from romantic love to a broader, more inclusive form of love. It ends with the idea that love is a skill that can be learned and that guidance is available through a Relationships book, which is offered for further exploration via a link.

Keywords

💡Love

In the context of the video, love is redefined beyond the traditional notions of romantic affection. It is portrayed as a complex and multifaceted concept that encompasses benevolence, understanding, and active charity towards others, especially in their moments of failure or weakness. The video emphasizes love as a skill that can be learned and applied to various aspects of life, not just romantic relationships.

💡Charity

Charity, as defined in the video, is the act of showing benevolence and gentleness towards those who are failed, disgraced, or broken. It is an active form of love that involves looking past the surface flaws and sympathizing with the struggles and mistakes of others. Charity is not limited to material aid but extends to emotional support and understanding.

💡Imagination

Imagination, in the context of love, is the ability to look beyond the surface and understand the underlying causes of a person's behavior. It involves empathy and the willingness to fill in the gaps of understanding with compassion, recognizing the suffering and pain that may have led someone to their current state.

💡Kindness

Kindness is portrayed as an essential aspect of love that involves treating everyone with mercy, humility, tenderness, and grace, regardless of their actions or perceived wrongdoings. It is the act of showing sympathy and understanding towards all, especially those who are often deemed unworthy or deserving of harsh judgment.

💡Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the act of acknowledging our own guilt and shortcomings, which allows us to extend the same understanding to others. It is the willingness to let go of resentment and self-righteousness, recognizing that everyone makes mistakes and deserves a chance to correct them.

💡Loyalty

Loyalty in the context of love means maintaining steadfast support and faith in people, even when they are no longer popular or when the crowd disagrees with them. It is about resilience and unwavering commitment to those we care about, regardless of external opinions or challenges.

💡Generosity

Generosity is the quality of being abundantly kind and giving, not just to one person but to many, including strangers and the natural world. It reflects an overflow of love that is not limited to personal relationships but extends to all living beings and the environment.

💡Patience

Patience in the context of love is the ability to give others the time and space they need to mature, develop, and grow at their own pace. It involves understanding that people may make mistakes or take wrong turns, and not rushing them to meet our expectations, but instead, offering support for their personal growth.

💡Romantic Love

Romantic love is often associated with the initial intense feelings of passion and admiration for someone's beauty, intelligence, or strength. However, the video argues that this form of love is limited and suggests moving beyond it to embrace a more comprehensive and inclusive understanding of love.

💡Secular Religion of Love

The concept of a 'secular religion of love' refers to a non-religious, philosophical approach to understanding and practicing love. It is a set of principles and values that guide how we treat others, regardless of their perceived worthiness or our personal beliefs. This philosophy aims to redefine love in a way that is accessible and relevant to everyone, not just those who adhere to a specific faith or belief system.

Highlights

The world is suffering due to a lack of understanding of love.

Our conventional understanding of love is often superficial and focused on temporary infatuation.

Jesus of Nazareth provided a profound discussion on love, which is often overlooked due to religious beliefs.

There is a need for a new philosophy of love, a secular religion of love.

Love should be about benevolence and gentleness towards the failed, disgraced, and broken.

Imaginative love involves looking beneath the surface to understand the pain and suffering of others.

Kindness is essential in love, even towards those who are deemed sinners.

Forgiveness is recognizing our own guilt and cutting each other slack.

Loyalty in love means standing by people even when the crowd disagrees.

Generosity in love is not limited to one person but extends to all beings and the planet.

Patience in love involves giving people time to mature and develop at their own pace.

Believing in the principles of love can contribute to societal help, regardless of political or personal beliefs.

Romantic love should evolve into a broader, more challenging kind of love.

Love is a skill that can be learned, and our relationships can benefit from understanding the key issues.

The Relationships book offers guidance on achieving success in love through understanding and application.

For more insights on love and relationships, follow the provided link.

Transcripts

The world is sick for a surprisingly modest-sounding reason: we don’t understand love – and

yet we are rather convinced that we do. We talk a lot of love of course, but generally

in terms of a dizzying rapture lasting a few months focused on someone’s beauty, intelligence

and strength. The most convincing discussion of love in the West came from Jesus of Nazareth,

which has been unfortunate, given how easy it is to overlook everything he had to say

once you don’t ‘believe’. We might require a new philosophy of love, in effect, a powerful

secular religion of love. Here would be seven possible ingredients in

Love redefined: CHARITY Love means, above anything else, benevolence and gentleness

towards what is failed, disgraced, broken, unappealing, angry and foul in other people

and in ourselves. Love isn’t about an admiration for strength, it’s about directing sympathy

in a most unexpected direction: at what is messed up, lost and in pieces, and at what

we might hate, resent and be frightened of. Anyone can express an interest in perfection,

to love is to devote an active charity towards the mistakes and aberrations. One day, we

will all require the charity of others. In one way or another, we’ll be on our knees

– and we will need people to look past our evident failings in a tender search for our

deeply hidden merits. IMAGINATION To love with imagination is to look beneath the surface

– where there may be rage, cynicism, brittleness or transgression – and to picture the suffering

and pain that got a person to this place. To love with imagination is to fill in the

better reasons why others are behaving as they do. Imaginative love knows that we are

all, somewhere, desperate: it seeks out that desperation and treats it with sorrowful gentleness.

KINDNESS There are so many fighters for social justice, so many people determined to make

a better world. They denounce their enemies, and feel certain of their cause, but along

the way, they have a fateful habit of forgetting to be kind. In their denunciations of the

evils of others, there is precious little mercy, humility, tenderness or grace. It is

not enough to be right or just, to be kind is to know that everyone, even sinners, and

in a way, especially sinners, deserve ongoing sympathy and mercy. It is never simply because

someone is wrong that we have any right to cease showing them the greatest kindness.

FORGIVENESS To forgive is to know that we are, in our own way, as guilty as the next

person. Given what we all are, we have no option but to cut each other slack. Of course

we have failed and been hasty and less than admirable. But that is no reason forever to

withhold love. We learn to forgive when we are no longer self-righteous, that is, when

we’re brave enough to fathom the darker sections of our own hearts. LOYALTY To love

means being loyal to people (this could be ourselves) even though the crowd no longer

agrees. Outside the mob may be jeering, but we continue on the same side, with steadfastness

and an unbudgeable resilient faith. GENEROSITY Love overflows. It isn’t about loving just

one person, it encompasses the love of someone you have just met, of strangers in another

land, of the earth, of plants, weevils, house bats and a moth by the window who might be

dead by nightfall. PATIENCE We want others to meet our hopes right now. But true love

means giving people the time to mature and develop; to go wrong, to wander in another

direction, and not to shout at them but to give them every chance to grow, at their own

pace, towards their better selves. If we can believe wholeheartedly in some of the above,

it won’t matter who we vote for or what our cause is, we can count as part of what

is helping. We should be almost done with Romantic love by now. We should be setting

our sights on the challenge of this sort of love. Yet it’s not surprising if we’re

still only at the beginning, we’re just starting on the path to being human.

Love is a skill that we can learn. Our Relationships book calmly guides us with calm and charm through the key issues of

relationships to ensure that success in love need not be a matter of good luck. for more click the link now.