WOMEN need GAME too: understanding how women get commitment

Summary

In this thought-provoking talk, Dr. Orion Taban explores the dynamics of dating from both men's and women's perspectives, emphasizing that both genders need 'game' to navigate relationships effectively. While men often approach dates with a primary interest in sex, women typically seek committed relationships. Dr. Taban argues that women must learn how to skillfully guide interactions toward commitment, as simply expressing a desire for a serious relationship is insufficient. He underscores the importance of understanding and leveraging attraction dynamics to achieve meaningful connections, ultimately challenging traditional notions of dating and relationship expectations.

Takeaways

• 😀 Women also need 'game' in dating, but for different reasons than men.
• 😀 Women often desire committed relationships, while many men focus primarily on casual encounters.
• 😀 Successful dating requires understanding the different motivations between men and women.
• 😀 Most women have had sex on the first date, often due to the man's confidence and attraction.
• 😀 Men typically approach first dates with less emphasis on long-term relationship goals.
• 😀 Women are often not skilled at guiding interactions towards commitment.
• 😀 Directly stating a desire for a committed relationship can be ineffective.
• 😀 Women need to create interest and attraction to earn commitment from men.
• 😀 Both genders face societal pressures that shape their dating strategies.
• 😀 Learning effective dating strategies is essential for women seeking high-value relationships.

Q & A

What is the main thesis of Dr. Orion Taban's talk?

Dr. Taban argues that both men and women need 'game' in dating, but for different reasons: women typically seek committed relationships, while men often pursue casual encounters.

Why do women often dislike dating according to the speaker?

Women generally dislike dating because it feels like a necessary evil; they prefer to skip straight to committed relationships but cannot do so without going through the dating process.

What does 'game' mean in the context of dating?

'Game' refers to the skills and strategies individuals use to navigate dating and relationships effectively, including generating interest and guiding interactions toward desired outcomes.

How do men and women differ in their expectations during a first date?

Men often focus on physical attraction and potential sexual encounters, while women are more inclined to seek a meaningful connection and hope for a lasting relationship.

What is the significance of the term 'gatekeepers' in the script?

The term 'gatekeepers' refers to women's role in controlling access to sex and men's role in controlling access to commitment, highlighting the power dynamics in dating.

How does the speaker suggest women can improve their dating outcomes?

The speaker suggests that women can improve their dating outcomes by developing their game, which involves understanding men’s motivations and guiding the relationship towards commitment effectively.

What does Dr. Taban mean by 'female game'?

'Female game' is described as the skills women need to attract and secure commitment from men, including being attractive and knowing how to navigate interactions skillfully.

Why might a woman’s direct approach to seeking commitment be ineffective?

A direct approach can be off-putting because it can feel desperate or demanding, similar to how a man seeking sex outright might be perceived negatively.

What does the speaker imply about the availability of sex in modern dating?

The speaker implies that sex has become less valuable in dating due to its accessibility, which may make men less motivated to pursue serious commitments.

What key takeaway does Dr. Taban provide for women in the dating landscape?

The key takeaway is that women can attract high-value men and achieve committed relationships by mastering the dynamics of dating and effectively utilizing their game.