Language around gender and identity evolves (and always has) | Archie Crowley

Summary

The speaker, a linguist and nonbinary individual, explores how beliefs about language influence interactions with transgender people. They discuss the evolving nature of language, highlighting how pronouns and identity terms like 'they' have changed, much like 'thou' and 'you' did centuries ago. The speaker challenges common language beliefs, emphasizing that grammar rules and dictionaries adapt over time. They stress the importance of asking people about their preferred terms and creatively using language to foster understanding, build relationships, and respect identities, showing that language is a powerful tool for connection.

Takeaways

• 🔤 Linguists study language in various ways, including pronunciation, sentence structure, and regional variations.
• 🌐 People's beliefs about language often reflect their views on the social world rather than the language itself.
• 🏳️‍🌈 As a nonbinary linguist, the speaker found a new language within the transgender community that helped express their identity.
• 💬 Communication with friends and family about being trans and nonbinary involved explaining terms and preferred pronouns.
• 👥 Some friends and family found it challenging to adopt new language conventions, which became the focus of the speaker's research.
• 🚫 Common but harmful beliefs about language can act as barriers to building relationships with transgender individuals.
• 📚 Dictionaries do not provide static definitions; they are dynamic records of language use that change over time.
• 🆕 Language evolves, and grammar rules can change, as illustrated by the historical shift from 'thou' to 'you'.
• 💭 Transgender people's self-identifying language is crucial for understanding their identities and should be respected.
• 🤔 When unsure about the language to use for transgender individuals, the best approach is to ask them directly.
• 🌟 Language is a tool for identity and relationship building; it should serve us and can be used creatively to bring joy.

Q & A

What is the primary focus of the linguist's research?

The linguist's research focuses on how people's beliefs about language, particularly concerning grammar and usage, can act as barriers to building and strengthening relationships with transgender individuals.

Why is the linguist interested in the beliefs people have about language?

The linguist is interested in these beliefs because they often reflect societal attitudes rather than the language itself, and these attitudes can influence how language is used and how people communicate with transgender and nonbinary individuals.

How does the linguist's personal identity as a nonbinary person relate to their professional interests?

The linguist's personal identity as a nonbinary person has led them to explore the ways in which language can be used to express and understand gender identity, and how societal beliefs about language can impact transgender and nonbinary people's experiences.

What is the significance of the linguist's experience with their friends and family in terms of language use?

The linguist's experience with their friends and family highlights the challenges and importance of adapting language to respect and acknowledge transgender and nonbinary identities, showing that even loved ones may find it difficult to change established language habits.

Why is the singular 'they' considered a significant linguistic change?

The singular 'they' is significant because it challenges traditional gendered pronouns and provides a nonbinary option, which is a shift in language that reflects evolving societal understanding of gender.

What historical example does the linguist use to illustrate that grammar rules can change?

The linguist uses the historical shift from using 'thou' and 'you' in the 1600s to show that grammar rules are not static and can change over time to accommodate societal needs and preferences.

How do dictionaries reflect the changing nature of language?

Dictionaries are described as living documents that track and reflect changes in language use over time, rather than providing unchanging, official definitions.

What misconception about dictionaries does the linguist address?

The linguist addresses the misconception that dictionaries provide a single, unchanging definition for words, emphasizing that dictionaries are dynamic and evolve with language use.

Why is it important for people to ask transgender individuals about their preferred language?

Asking transgender individuals about their preferred language is important because it respects their self-identified terms and acknowledges the evolving nature of personal and collective language use.

What is the linguist's advice for people unsure about the language to use with transgender individuals?

The linguist advises people to ask transgender individuals directly about their preferred terms, emphasizing that this approach is more respectful and less likely to cause offense than making assumptions.

How does the linguist view the role of language in identity and relationships?

The linguist views language as a powerful tool for expressing identity and building affirming relationships, suggesting that language should serve individuals and communities, not the other way around.

Outlines

00:00

🔤 The Role of Language in Identity and Beliefs

The speaker, a linguist and nonbinary individual, discusses the various ways linguists study language, including pronunciation, sentence construction, and regional variations. They express a particular interest in how societal beliefs about language influence its use. The speaker shares personal experiences as a transgender person, highlighting the importance of language in expressing identity and communicating with others. They recount conversations with friends and family about their gender identity and the necessary linguistic adjustments, such as using nongendered terms and singular 'they' pronouns. The speaker's research focuses on how certain language beliefs can act as barriers to building relationships with transgender individuals, despite good intentions. They aim to challenge these beliefs and encourage a more flexible and inclusive use of language.

05:02

📚 The Evolution of Grammar and Pronouns

The speaker challenges the belief that grammar rules are static by recounting the historical shift in English pronouns during the 1600s. They explain how 'you' replaced 'thou' as the pronoun for addressing individuals, despite initial resistance. This historical context is used to draw parallels with contemporary debates over the use of singular 'they' for nonbinary individuals. The speaker emphasizes that language, including grammar, evolves over time and that dictionaries, often seen as authoritative, are not static but rather reflect the dynamic nature of language use. They provide examples of how word meanings have changed, such as 'awful' transitioning from a positive to a negative connotation, illustrating the fluidity of language and the role of dictionaries as records of this evolution.

10:02

🌟 Embracing Linguistic Diversity and Self-Identification

The speaker addresses the misconception that new words cannot be created or that language is fixed. They argue that language is constantly evolving and that individuals, including transgender people, have the right to define their own terms and pronouns. The speaker shares that the process of finding or creating the right language for self-identification is crucial for many transgender individuals as it helps them understand and express their identities. They advocate for the use of language as a tool for self-expression and relationship-building, encouraging listeners to ask transgender individuals about their preferred terms. The speaker concludes by emphasizing the importance of recognizing that language is a tool that serves us and can be used creatively to build identities and relationships that bring joy and affirmation.

Keywords

💡Linguist

A linguist is a scholar who studies language, encompassing its structure, development, and use in society. In the video, the speaker identifies as a linguist, emphasizing their professional interest in how people's beliefs about language influence its use. The speaker's perspective as a linguist provides a foundation for discussing the social implications of language, particularly in relation to transgender and nonbinary identities.

💡Pronouns

Pronouns are words used to replace nouns, often referring to people or things to avoid repetition. In the context of the video, the speaker discusses the importance of using correct pronouns for transgender and nonbinary individuals, such as 'they/them' as a singular pronoun. The video highlights the challenge some people face in adapting to new pronoun usage, reflecting broader societal adjustments to language that respect diverse identities.

💡Nonbinary

Nonbinary is a term used to describe a person who does not identify exclusively as male or female. The speaker identifies as nonbinary, which is central to the video's exploration of language and identity. The concept of nonbinary challenges traditional binary views of gender and necessitates a linguistic adaptation to accurately and respectfully represent nonbinary individuals.

💡Transgender

Transgender refers to individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. The video discusses the speaker's identity as a transgender person and how language, particularly pronouns and identity terms, plays a crucial role in expressing and validating their gender identity. The speaker's experience underscores the importance of language in shaping social understanding and acceptance of transgender identities.

💡Grammar rules

Grammar rules are the systematic guidelines governing the structure of a language. The video challenges the belief that grammar is static, using historical examples to show that grammar evolves. It argues against the notion that using 'they/them' as a singular pronoun is ungrammatical, illustrating how language adapts to reflect societal changes, including shifts in understanding gender.

💡Dictionaries

Dictionaries are reference works that provide the meanings of words and examples of their use. The video dispels the myth that dictionaries offer unchanging, authoritative definitions. Instead, it presents dictionaries as dynamic records that track and reflect the evolving use of language by society, including the introduction of new terms related to gender identity.

💡Identity terms

Identity terms are words or phrases that individuals use to describe their personal identities, such as 'trans man,' 'trans woman,' or 'nonbinary.' The video emphasizes the significance of these terms for transgender people, who often rely on them to express their authentic selves. The speaker argues for the recognition and respect of these terms as part of the ongoing evolution of language.

💡Language change

Language change refers to the shifts and developments that occur in a language over time. The video uses the historical evolution of pronouns and the acceptance of 'you' as a singular pronoun to illustrate how language changes to accommodate societal needs. It connects this concept to the current shifts in language regarding gender identity, arguing for an open-minded approach to linguistic evolution.

💡Singular they

Singular they refers to the use of 'they/them' pronouns to refer to a single person, regardless of their gender. The video addresses the resistance some people have to using singular they, framing it as part of a broader pattern of language change. It advocates for the acceptance of singular they as a way to respect the identities of nonbinary and transgender individuals.

💡Beliefs about language

Beliefs about language encompass the attitudes and assumptions people hold regarding how language should be used and what constitutes 'correct' usage. The video discusses several common beliefs, such as the immutability of grammar and the authority of dictionaries, challenging them to promote a more flexible and inclusive approach to language that supports diverse identities.

💡Asking for pronouns

Asking for pronouns is the practice of inquiring about and using an individual's preferred pronouns when referring to them. The video suggests that asking for pronouns is a respectful and effective way to ensure that one uses the correct language to address transgender and nonbinary individuals. It emphasizes the importance of communication and learning over assumptions in fostering understanding and respect.

Highlights

Linguists study language in various ways, including pronunciation, sentence structure, and regional variations.

People's beliefs about language often reflect their views on the social world rather than the language itself.

The speaker, a nonbinary linguist, found a new way to express their identity through language.

Transgender people often face challenges in getting others to use their preferred pronouns and terms.

Language changes can be difficult for some people to accept, even when they want to support transgender individuals.

The belief that grammar rules are unchangeable is a common misconception.

Historical examples show that grammar evolves, such as the shift from 'thou' to 'you' in English.

Dictionaries are not static authorities but living documents that track language use.

Words and their meanings change over time, as seen with the evolution of 'awful' and 'awesome'.

Transgender individuals use various identity terms, some of which are being added to dictionaries.

Trans people have the right to choose their own identifying language, which is crucial for their identity.

Creating new words or redefining existing ones is a part of the process for many transgender individuals.

The speaker advises asking transgender people about their preferred language instead of assuming.

Language is a tool that can be used creatively to build identities and relationships.

Language changes are not just allowable but necessary for personal and social growth.

The speaker encourages embracing the evolution of language to build a more inclusive society.

Transcripts

Transcriber:

I am a linguist.

Linguists study language.

And we do this in a lot of different ways.

Some linguists study how we pronounce certain sounds.

Others look at how we build sentences.

And some study how language varies from place to place,

just to name a few.

But what I'm really interested in

is what people think and believe about language

and how these beliefs affect the way we use it.

All of us have deeply held beliefs about language

such as the belief that some languages are more beautiful than others

or that some ways of using language are more correct.

And as most linguists know,

these beliefs are often less about language itself

and more about what we believe about the social world around us.

So I’m a linguist,

and I'm also a nonbinary person,

which means I don't identify as a man or a woman.

I also identify as a member of a broader transgender community.

When I first started getting connected to other transgender people,

it was like learning a whole new language

and the linguist part of me was really excited.

There was a whole new way of talking about my relationship with myself

and a new clear way to communicate that to other people.

And then I started having conversations with my friends and family

about what it meant for me to be trans and nonbinary,

what those words meant to me specifically,

and why I would use both of them.

I also clarified the correct words they could use when referring to me.

For some of them, this meant some very specific changes.

For example, some of my friends

who are used to talking about our friend group as “ladies” or “girls”

switched to nongendered terms like “friends” or “pals.”

And my parents can now tell people that their three kids are their son,

their daughter and their child.

And all of them would have to switch the pronouns they used to refer to me.

My correct pronouns are “they” and “them,”

also known as the singular they.

And these people love me,

but many of them told me that some of these language changes

were too hard or too confusing

or too ungrammatical for them to pick up.

These responses led me to the focus of my research.

There are commonly held,

yet harmful and incorrect beliefs about language

that for the people who hold these beliefs,

act as barriers to building and strengthening relationships

with the transgender people in their families and communities,

even if they want to do so.

Today, I'm going to walk you through some of these beliefs

in the hope that we can embrace creativity in our language

and allow language to bring us closer together.

You might see your own beliefs reflected in these experiences in some way,

but no matter what,

I hope that I can share with you some linguistic insights

that you can put into your back pocket

and take with you out into the world.

And I just want to be super clear.

This can be fun.

Learning about language brings me joy,

and I hope that it can bring you more joy too.

So do you remember how I said that for some of my friends and family

learning how to use the singular they was really hard,

and they said it was too confusing or too ungrammatical for them to pick up.

Well, this brings us to the first belief about language that people have.

Grammar rules don't change.

As a linguist, I see this belief a lot out in the world.

A lot of language users believe that grammar just is what it is.

When it comes to language,

what's grammatical is what matters.

You can't change it.

I want to tell you a story about English in the 1600s.

Back then, as you might imagine,

people spoke differently than we do today.

In particular, they used "thou" when addressing a single other person,

and "you" when addressing more than one other person,

But for some complex historical reasons

that we don't have time to get into today,

so you'll just have to trust me as a linguist here,

but people started using "you" to address someone,

regardless of how many people they were talking to.

And people had a lot to say about this.

Take a look at what this guy, Thomas Elwood, had to say.

He wrote,

"The corrupt and unsound form of speaking in the plural number

to a single person,

‘you’ to one instead of ‘thou,’

contrary to the pure, plain and single language of truth,

‘thou’ to one and ‘you’ to more than one.”

And he goes on.

Needless to say,

this change in pronouns was a big deal in the 1600s.

But actually, if you followed the debates about the singular they at all,

these arguments might sound familiar to you.

They're not that far off from the bickering we hear

about the so-called grammaticality of pronouns

used to talk about trans and nonbinary people.

One of the most common complaints about the singular they

is that if "they" is used to refer to people in the plural,

it can't also be used to talk about people in the singular,

which is exactly what they said about “thou” and “you.”

But as we have seen, pronouns have changed.

Our grammar rules do change

and for a lot of different reasons.

And we're living through one of these shifts right now.

All living languages will continue to change,

and the Thomas Elwoods of the world

will eventually have to get with the program

because hundreds of years later,

it's considered right to use "you" when addressing another person.

Not just allowable, but right.

The second belief about language that people have

is that dictionaries provide official, unchanging definitions for words.

When you were in school,

did you ever start an essay with a sentence like,

"The dictionary defines history as ..."

Well, if you did, which dictionary were you talking about?

Was it the Oxford English Dictionary?

Was it Merriam Webster?

Was it Urban Dictionary?

Did you even have a particular dictionary in mind?

Which one of these is “the dictionary?”

Dictionaries are often thought of as the authority on language.

But dictionaries, in fact, are changing all the time.

And here's where our minds are really blown.

Dictionaries don't provide a single definition for words.

Dictionaries are living documents

that track how some people are using language.

Language doesn't originate in dictionaries.

Language originates with people

and dictionaries are the documents that chronicle that language use.

Here's one example.

We currently use the word "awful"

to talk about something that is bad or gross.

But before the 19th century, "awful" meant just the opposite.

People used "awful" to talk about something

that was deserving of respect

or full of awe.

And in the mid-1900s,

"awesome" was the word that took up these positive meanings

and "awful" switched to the negative one we have today.

And dictionaries over time reflected that.

This is just one example of how definitions and meanings

have changed over time.

And to keep up with it, how dictionaries are updated all the time.

So I hope you're starting to feel a little more comfortable

with the idea of changing language.

But of course, I'm not just talking about language in general.

I'm talking about language as it is impactful for trans people.

And pronouns are only one part of language,

and they're only one part of language that's important for trans people.

Also important are the identity terms

that trans people use to talk about ourselves,

such as trans man, trans woman, nonbinary or gender queer.

And some of these words have been documented in dictionaries

for decades now

and others are still being added year after year.

And that's because dictionaries are working to keep up with us,

the people who are using language creatively.

So at this point, you might be thinking,

"But Archie, it seems like every trans person has a different word

they want me to use for them.

There are so many opportunities for me to mess up or to look ignorant

or to hurt someone's feelings.

What is something I can memorize

and reliably employ when talking to the trans people in my life?"

Well, that brings us to the third belief about language that people have.

You can't just make up words.

Folks, people do this all the time.

Here's one of my favorite examples.

The "official" term for your mother's mother

or your father's mother is grandmother.

I recently polled my friends

and asked them what they call their grandmothers.

We don't get frustrated if your friend's grandma goes by Meemaw

and yours goes by Gigi.

We just make rather short work of it

and memorize it and move on getting to know her.

In fact, we might even celebrate her by gifting her with a sweatshirt

or an embroidered pillow that celebrates the name she has chosen for herself.

And just like your Nana and your grandma,

trans people have every right to choose their own identifying language.

The process of determining self-identifying language

is crucial for trans people.

In my research,

many trans people have shared that finding new vocabulary

was an important part of understanding their own identities.

As one person I interviewed put it,

"Language is one of the most important personal things

because using different words to describe myself

and then finding something that feels good, feels right,

is a very introspective and important process.

With that process you can piece together,

with the language that you find out works best for you,

who am I?"

Sometimes the words that feel good are already out there.

For me, the words trans and nonbinary just feel right.

But sometimes the common lexicon doesn’t yet hold

the words that a person needs to feel properly understood.

And it's necessary and exciting to get to create and redefine words

that better reflect our experience of gender.

So this is a very long answer, but, yes,

I'm absolutely going to give you a magic word,

something really easy you can memorize.

And I want you to think of this word

as the biggest piece of advice I could give you

if you don't know what words to use for the trans people in your life.

Ask.

I might be a linguist and a trans person

and a linguist who works with trans people,

but I'm no substitute for the actual trans people in your life

when it comes to what words to use for them.

And you're more likely to hurt someone's feelings by not asking

or assuming

than you are by asking.

And the words that a person uses might change.

So just commit to asking and learning.

Language is a powerful tool

for explaining and claiming our own identities

and for building relationships that affirm and support us.

But language is just that, a tool.

Language works for us,

not the other way around.

All of us, transgender and cisgender

can use language to understand ourselves

and to respect those around us.

We're not bound by what words have meant before,

what order they might have come in

or what rules we have been taught.

We can consider the beliefs that we might have had

about how language works

and recognize that language will continue to change.

And we can creatively use language

to build the identities and relationships that bring us joy.

And that's not just allowable.

It's right.

Believe me.