Stoicism's Tips For Solving Problems With People

Summary

This video script delves into the philosophy of Stoicism, emphasizing the importance of being good and patient despite the flaws of others. It discusses the teachings of Stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus, who advise on handling the negative behaviors of people around us without letting them affect our inner peace. The script also touches on the importance of self-reflection, empathy, and focusing on doing what is right rather than seeking external validation. It encourages viewers to embody Stoic principles in daily life, to improve themselves and positively influence their community.

Takeaways

• 📚 Stoicism is not an escape from reality but an active engagement with everyday life, emphasizing practical wisdom and virtue.
• 🌟 Philosophers like Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus advocate for self-improvement and maintaining one's integrity, regardless of others' actions.
• 🤔 The importance of introspection is highlighted, urging individuals to consider their own actions before judging others, fostering empathy and understanding.
• 💭 The script challenges the pursuit of external validation, suggesting that personal principles and self-assessment are paramount.
• 🌱 It emphasizes the Stoic practice of focusing on what is within one's control, such as one's actions and reactions, rather than external outcomes.
• 🤝 The value of treating others with kindness and empathy is underscored, even when they may not reciprocate, as a means of personal virtue.
• 🔄 The concept of 'memento mori' is introduced, reminding us of the impermanence of life and the importance of cherishing relationships and moments.
• 🚫 The script discourages envy and the comparison with others, advocating for contentment with what one has and focusing on one's own path.
• 💡 Stoicism encourages the embodiment of philosophy through actions, not just words, to inspire and improve the lives of others.
• 🌐 It suggests that happiness and fulfillment come from doing good and being good to others, rather than seeking external approval or fame.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video script?

The main theme of the video script is the application of Stoic philosophy to everyday life, focusing on how to deal with the negative aspects of human behavior and how to improve oneself and others through understanding and empathy.

According to the script, what is the role of a philosopher in Stoicism?

In Stoicism, a philosopher is not someone who retreats into a world of ideas but is actively engaged in everyday life, dealing with people and applying philosophical principles to improve their interactions and personal growth.

What advice does Mark Cerulli give regarding people's behavior?

Mark Cerulli advises to be good to people and patient with them, recognizing that people are the proper occupation of a philosopher and that one should focus on their own principles and actions rather than seeking external validation.

Why does the script mention that people care about the opinions of those they will never meet?

The script mentions that people care about the opinions of future generations to highlight the irrationality of seeking posthumous fame and validation, emphasizing that what truly matters is one's own self-assessment and actions.

What does Marcus Aurelius suggest when encountering difficult people?

Marcus Aurelius suggests that when encountering difficult people, one should not let their negative traits affect you. Instead, remain honest and true to yourself and try to understand them without being implicated in their behavior.

How does the script interpret the concept of 'people suck'?

The script interprets 'people suck' as a harsh truth about human nature, acknowledging that people can lie, cheat, and steal, but also emphasizes the Stoic perspective that the focus should be on doing what's right and being good despite these challenges.

What is the Stoic approach to dealing with others' mistakes or misbehavior?

The Stoic approach is to not take others' mistakes personally, to empathize with them as you would with yourself, and to remember that everyone, including oneself, makes mistakes and is not defined by them.

What is the significance of 'memento mori' in Stoic philosophy as discussed in the script?

In the script, 'memento mori' is a reminder of the impermanence of life and the importance of valuing the present moment and the people in it. It encourages one to act with kindness, forgiveness, and appreciation towards others, as life is short and uncertain.

How does the script relate the concept of self-improvement to Stoic philosophy?

The script relates self-improvement to Stoic philosophy by emphasizing the importance of doing what's right, being good, and setting an example for others. It suggests that by embodying Stoic principles, one not only makes others better but also finds personal happiness and fulfillment.

What does the script suggest as a way to combat negative emotions like envy?

The script suggests using thought exercises to combat negative emotions. For instance, it recommends considering how others might envy you and how you would feel if you were in their position, which can help to cultivate contentment and gratitude for what you have.

Outlines

00:00

🧠 Stoic Wisdom for Dealing with People

This paragraph emphasizes the idea that people can be difficult, often behaving in deceitful or selfish ways. However, the Stoic approach, as highlighted by figures like Marcus Aurelius, encourages engagement with people and the world rather than retreating into isolation. The author shares their journey of learning from ancient philosophy and speaking to various audiences, demonstrating that philosophy is deeply connected to everyday life. The main Stoic lesson here is to not let others' annoying or hurtful behavior affect you, but instead focus on your own actions, principles, and values. The narrative touches on the futility of seeking external validation and the importance of being true to oneself.

05:03

🌍 Focus on Doing the Right Thing

This paragraph draws on the example of the Stoic Cato, who lived as though he were in an ideal world, unaffected by the corruption and challenges around him. The message is to remain steadfast in doing the right thing regardless of external circumstances. Marcus Aurelius's advice is highlighted: do what is right, and ignore what others are doing or saying. The Stoics are not unfeeling; rather, they advocate for putting love and kindness into the world, as noted by Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. The passage encourages maintaining personal integrity and affection, regardless of external chaos or negative influences.

Keywords

💡Stoicism

Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy that teaches that the path to virtue is found in accepting that certain things are within our control and others are not. In the video, Stoicism is presented as a practical philosophy for dealing with the flaws of human nature and for leading a virtuous life. The speaker references Stoic philosophers like Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius to provide lessons on how to engage with others and maintain one's integrity despite the challenges posed by human behavior.

💡Philosopher

A philosopher, in the context of the video, is not just an academic or someone detached from reality but an individual who is actively engaged in life and seeks to understand and improve it. The video emphasizes that philosophy, particularly Stoicism, is meant to be applied to everyday life and interactions with people, rather than being confined to theoretical discussions.

💡Engagement

Engagement here refers to the active involvement with the world and its people. The video suggests that a true philosopher, or Stoic, is not one who retreats from the world but one who is deeply engaged with it, understanding that the world and its people are the primary subjects of philosophical inquiry and the application of philosophical principles.

💡Patience

Patience is highlighted as a virtue in dealing with the shortcomings of others. The video quotes Mark Cerulli, who advises being patient with people, recognizing that everyone has their flaws and that patience is a key aspect of Stoic practice. It is about enduring the imperfections of others without letting them affect one's own moral compass.

💡Self-reflection

Self-reflection is the process of introspection and self-examination, which is central to Stoic philosophy. The video mentions that when people do wrong, one should reflect on whether they have done the same in the past, fostering empathy and understanding. This practice helps in not taking others' actions personally and promotes personal growth.

💡Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. In the video, empathy is recommended as a response to others' negative actions, suggesting that one should not judge or dismiss others but instead try to understand their perspective. This aligns with the Stoic belief in the universal human condition and the interconnectedness of all people.

💡Self-discipline

Self-discipline is the control one exercises over one's own emotions and actions. The video discusses how Stoics practice self-discipline to remain unaffected by the negative actions of others and to act in accordance with their principles, even in the face of adversity.

💡Memento Mori

Memento Mori is a Latin phrase that translates to 'remember that you will die'. It is a Stoic practice that reminds individuals of the transient nature of life and the importance of living virtuously and appreciating the present moment. The video uses this concept to encourage viewers to value their relationships and not take their time or the people in their lives for granted.

💡Envy

Envy is a negative emotion that arises from comparing oneself to others and feeling discontent with one's own situation. The video discusses how Stoics combat envy by focusing on self-sufficiency and contentment with what they have, rather than desiring what others possess.

💡Validation

Validation in the video refers to the external approval or recognition that people often seek. It is contrasted with the Stoic ideal of self-validation, where one's actions and principles are measured against their own moral standards rather than the opinions of others.

💡Principles

Principles are the fundamental truths or propositions that serve as the foundation for one's actions and beliefs. The video emphasizes the importance of adhering to one's principles, as defined by Stoic philosophy, rather than being swayed by the actions or opinions of others.

Highlights

People often lie, cheat, and steal, driven by trivial motivations.

A philosopher, especially for the Stoics, is engaged in everyday life and interactions with people.

Mark Cerulli suggests being good to people and patient with them, considering them our 'proper occupation'.

Stoic lessons can help maximize the positive aspects of people around you and minimize their negative impact.

We care about the opinions of future generations, who will be as flawed as us, yet we forget this when seeking posthumous fame.

The importance of valuing our own principles and actions over external validation and results.

Marcus Aurelius advises preparing for encounters with difficult people without letting their behavior affect you.

When wronged, reflect on similar actions you may have taken, fostering empathy and understanding.

Epictetus emphasizes not taking things personally and practicing empathy, even towards those who wrong us.

Stoicism involves accepting the reality of flawed people and using it as an opportunity to practice virtue.

Cicero's joke about Cato living as if in a perfect world, regardless of the corruption around him, illustrates Stoic focus on doing what's right.

Seneca advises that if you want love, you must give love, emphasizing the energy you put out into the world.

The Stoics encourage thought exercises to combat envy and promote contentment with what you have.

Memento mori, a Stoic practice, reminds us of life's brevity and the importance of cherishing the present and our relationships.

The importance of not taking people or time for granted, and the value of forgiveness and appreciation in the present moment.

Stoicism is not about being unfeeling; it's about being a role model and inspiration by embodying good principles.

Transcripts

people suck it's harsh but it's true

they lie and cheat and steal and

are motivated by silly ridiculous things

it's true people suck

a philosopher isn't someone who just

retreats to their books that lives in

a fantasy world of ideas a philosopher

to the stoics

was engaged in everyday life was around

people mark cerullis says he says be

good to people

be patient with them he says people are

our proper occupation i've now written

10 books about ancient philosophy i've

been lucky enough to speak to everyone

from the nfl to the nba

sitting u.s senators and the u.s special

forces there's no

separating philosophy from people from

people big and small

so in today's episode i wanted to give

you some stoic

rules some stoic lessons for getting the

most out of the people around you

and not letting other people in the

crazy annoying things they do

get to you

it's strange we not only care about

other people's opinions

we care about the opinions of people in

the future who we will never meet

marxist really says you know people who

long for

posthumous fame they forget not only are

they not going to be around to enjoy it

but the people in the future will be as

just as dumb and silly and ridiculous

and obsessed with fads and

valuing the wrong things as people right

now

so what matters is what you think he

says we love ourselves more than other

people but we care about their opinion

more than our own

it's insane you know what's right you

know what you value

you know what's important you know what

your principles are that's what you have

to measure yourself

against what you're capable of what

you're trying to do

external approval external validation

external results

that's secondary how many views this

does that's not important did i say what

i wanted to say did i do what i wanted

to do

did i bring my best self to it that's

what matters

marcus aurelius he says when you wake up

in the morning tell yourself who you're

going to meet

you know the the cunning and the

deceitful and the and the

and the frivolous and the jealous and

the ridiculous he says you're going to

meet them

but you can't let them implicate you and

their ugliness he says

you have to figure out how to be honest

and true to yourself and to them

even though that's the furthest thing

from what they're capable of doing

she said the most important thing is to

be good in a world where there are so

many

bad people

[Music]

when someone hurts you or says something

rude or screws something up or does

something bad

the question to ask marx really says is

when have i done that when have i

acted like that because you probably

have right we all do things

what do you think about that and why did

you do it most of the time it was

because you didn't know

most of the time you were trying your

best and even

when it was a real mistake something you

you know you shouldn't have done the

reality is

you understand that that doesn't make

you a bad person

and so when people hurt us when people

screw us over when people mess up

we have to remember that they are like

us to grab the other handle as epictetus

is that we're not going to take it

personally we're not going to blame them

we're not going to write them off

we're going to give them empathy the

same empathy that we regularly give

ourselves

people suck it's harsh but it's true i

mean work surrealist

opens meditations with music on how much

people suck

how they lie and cheat and steal and are

motivated by silly

ridiculous things it's true people suck

but he also says in meditations look

the only thing that's not worthless in

this life

is to do what's right is to be good

and then he says to be patient with

those

who aren't that's what we're doing

people do suck people are problematic

people do

present countless obstacles to us and

yet that

is an opportunity to practice stoicism

to practice

self-discipline to practice fairness

even in the face of unfairness

so a stoic takes reality as it is

unflinchingly

and it doesn't change what they believe

their obligation is

in this world

happy is he who makes others better i

think that's what a stoic is also

not just a role model but an inspiration

someone who makes others better by the

example that they set

by the work that they do by the good

they do for their community

that's what stoicism is about epictetus

is don't talk about your philosophy

embody it

you make others better by being your

best self

but this is the benefit you also make

yourself

happy because you see the good that

you're doing

in the world in the people around you

and this is

why the stoics are working so hard all

the time

cicero jokes about cato that cato lived

as if he was inside plato's republic

rather than living in the dregs of

romulus meaning that cato lived as if he

was in a perfect world as if everyone

was good

as if being good was the only thing that

mattered he didn't care that the people

around him were corrupt he didn't care

that nobody else had any hope

he didn't care that things were bad or

falling to pieces what he cared about

was what was right

and that he he ignored what was going on

outside

and so when we look at at all the things

that are happening in the world all the

things that can make us give up hope

all the things that can break our hearts

all the things that can make us despair

all the things that contempt us we do

what a stoic does which is that we tune

them out

we focus on what's right as marx really

said just that you do the right thing

the rest doesn't matter and that

includes what other people are doing

what prevailing opinion is

all the other stuff is irrelevant just

do the right thing ignore what's

happening outside

you might think that the stoics are kind

of these unfeeling people and and i get

that but it's actually not true at all

seneca says if you want love in your

life he says then love

marcus really says that he learns from

one of his mentors to be free of

passions

yes but full of love do you have

affection for other people if you want

to feel good

if you want to be loved by other people

it's about what you put out in the world

as the beatles say it's about

the energy you put out in the world

because ultimately that's what you

control

if you want to feel better don't go

expecting other people to validate you

other people to give you what you want

give what you want marcus rio says if

you want to feel good

do good if you want to feel loved put

love out in the world put affection out

in the world

see everyone you meet as seneca says as

an opportunity to practice kindness

and the rest will take care of itself i

promise

there's a great line comparison is the

thief of joy comes to us from from

theodore roosevelt when you compare

yourself to others you feel like you

have less

feel like you are less and in

meditations marcus says

you know think about how silly it is

that we envy people without really

thinking about who they are and what

their lives are like

and then he says think about all the

people that are envious if you think

about how you yourself would be

envious of yourself if you suddenly

didn't have

what you have and you were someone else

right the idea for the stoics is to do

these kind of thought exercises

to combat these emotional impulses or

temptations we have or

destructive thought patterns like you

don't need to be jealous of other people

first off because other people are

probably jealous of you and you'd be

jealous of yourself if your situation

was different so

the idea of just being satisfied with

what you have of accepting what you have

of letting what you have be enough

that's everything as epicurus says

quoted by seneca

enough will never be enough for the

person to whom enough

is too little

my friend emailed me on a friday i saw i

told myself i was going to respond on

monday

and by sunday he was gone he'd fallen

dead of a heart attack

this is why the stoics practice memento

mori life is short you can go at any

moment

but also they said the people who are

precious to you you do not possess

them you can't take them for granted you

can't assume they're going to be here

forever

you can't assume you're always going to

have them you don't have them now

they're here on loan they are here under

shaky status at best so you can't take

people for granted

you can't take time for granted you

can't go to bed angry as they say you

can't hold on to grudges

be with them now while you can forgive

them now while you can

appreciate them now while you can

enjoy them now while you can that's the

only thing we can do

memento mori you could leave life right

now they could leave life

right now let that determine what you do

and say and think

particularly with the people who matter

most to you

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