Watch this video if you're shy and introverted…

Summary

The speaker recounts his struggle with social anxiety, beginning with a humiliating Indonesian class speech that led to a 'corn' addiction as an escape. His anxiety escalated to affect his interactions with everyone at school, impacting his self-esteem. However, the pandemic offered a respite, allowing him to focus on self-improvement. He quit 'corn', hit the gym, and grew his social media following, boosting his confidence. Returning to school, he faced a public speaking challenge head-on, which became a turning point in overcoming his anxiety. He encourages viewers to confront their fears and anxieties to live a better life.

Takeaways

• 😓 The speaker reflects on a nerve-wracking experience giving a speech in Indonesian, which intensified social anxiety and embarrassment.
• 😥 Social anxiety began to spiral after the classroom incident, leading to a habit of using porn as a way to escape from the stress.
• 😔 Over time, the speaker’s anxiety extended beyond girls to everyone at school, making him feel low-status and socially anxious around peers, friends, and even teachers.
• 🏀 Basketball was initially the speaker’s only source of confidence, providing validation in an otherwise stressful school environment.
• 📱 The speaker posted a picture on Instagram to boost social status but felt even more isolated when it didn’t receive the attention he desired.
• 💻 The COVID-19 pandemic provided relief from social interactions, allowing the speaker to hide behind a screen and temporarily escape social anxiety.
• 💪 After discovering self-improvement and quitting porn, the speaker started building confidence by hitting the gym and focusing on personal development.
• 🎤 Despite preparing well for a school speech, social anxiety returned during the delivery, but the speaker managed to overcome it by staying focused and tuning out distractions.
• 😅 An awkward but humorous moment occurred when the speaker misread the teacher’s gesture as a high-five, which added to his anxiety but ultimately became a turning point for growth.
• 🌱 The speaker emphasizes that overcoming anxiety requires facing fears head-on and realizing that most people are too focused on themselves to notice others’ insecurities.

Q & A

What event triggered the speaker's anxiety and self-doubt?

The speaker's anxiety and self-doubt were triggered by a public speech in Indonesian class, where he struggled with the language and felt embarrassed as his classmates laughed at him.

How did the speaker initially cope with the anxiety caused by the event?

The speaker turned to porn as a way to escape his anxiety, which eventually led to a harmful addiction that only worsened his anxiety and social fears.

How did the speaker’s social anxiety evolve over time?

Initially, the speaker’s social anxiety was limited to interactions with girls in his class, but it later expanded to include boys, friends, and even teachers. Eventually, he felt anxious around almost everyone except his parents.

What was the speaker's only source of confidence during his early teenage years?

The speaker found confidence in his basketball skills, as he was the best basketball player in his class, which helped him gain some respect from his peers.

What significant change occurred for the speaker during the pandemic?

During the pandemic, the speaker found relief from social anxiety due to reduced social interaction, as school was online. He could turn off his camera and only interact with friends through games, which made him feel more comfortable.

How did self-improvement and quitting porn impact the speaker's confidence?

After realizing that porn was damaging, the speaker started focusing on self-improvement, such as going to the gym. This helped him gradually rebuild his confidence over time.

What turning point marked the speaker’s improved ability to handle social anxiety?

The turning point came when the speaker successfully delivered an English oral presentation without using a script. This event boosted his confidence and led him to actively seek more opportunities to challenge his anxiety.

How did the speaker deal with his fear of public speaking during the English oral presentation?

Despite his fear, the speaker volunteered to go first, treated the presentation like one of his YouTube videos, and managed to stay focused, which helped him perform well.

What advice does the speaker offer to those struggling with social anxiety?

The speaker advises people to identify the root cause of their fear and confront it directly by challenging themselves in small, realistic situations. He emphasizes that most people are focused on themselves and not on judging others.

What realization helped the speaker overcome his social anxiety?

The speaker realized that no one really cares as much as he thought, and that people’s negative reactions often reflect their own insecurities. This realization empowered him to stop worrying about others’ opinions and focus on self-improvement.

Outlines

00:00

🏫 School Anxiety and Turning to an Unhealthy Coping Mechanism

The speaker recounts a humiliating experience from five years ago when he was in Indonesian class, giving a speech in front of mostly female classmates. His nervousness was compounded by the language barrier and his lack of proficiency in Indonesian. This event led to a fear of public speaking and social anxiety, which he tried to escape by turning to an unhealthy coping mechanism, which is implied to be porn addiction. The addiction escalated from once a week to multiple times a day, worsening his anxiety and affecting his social interactions. He felt the need for validation from his peers and used social media to try to gain some form of respect, but this only intensified his anxiety.

05:01

💪 Overcoming Anxiety Through Self-Improvement

The speaker describes how the pandemic provided a temporary relief from his social anxiety due to the lack of in-person interactions. During this time, he discovered self-improvement resources and realized the negative impact of his unhealthy coping mechanism. He quit this habit and started focusing on improving himself, which led to an increase in his confidence. However, upon returning to school, he found that his confidence was shaken as he couldn't relate to his friends who were沉迷于 porn. He became more introverted and quiet, but eventually, he had to face his fear during an English oral presentation. Despite his anxiety, he performed exceptionally well without relying on a script, drawing from his experience as a YouTuber. This success marked a turning point in his life, as he realized that he could overcome his anxiety.

10:04

🗣️ Facing Social Anxiety Head-On

In this paragraph, the speaker encourages viewers to confront their social anxiety by identifying and facing their fears. He suggests that understanding the root cause of one's fear is crucial, whether it's seeking validation or a lack of self-love. The speaker admits that he still experiences anxiety but emphasizes that most people are preoccupied with their own thoughts and perceptions rather than judging others harshly. He advises viewers to take action and challenge their anxiety by doing the thing they fear the most, as he believes this is the key to overcoming it and living a better life. The speaker concludes by urging viewers to embrace change and face their fears to experience the improved life on the other side of anxiety.

Keywords

💡Indonesian class

An Indonesian class refers to an educational setting where the Indonesian language is taught. In the video, the speaker recalls a moment of anxiety while giving a speech in Indonesian to his classmates, which sets the stage for discussing social anxiety and personal growth. This incident is pivotal as it triggers the speaker's initial feelings of inadequacy and the subsequent development of coping mechanisms.

💡Social anxiety

Social anxiety is an intense fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people, leading to feelings of self-consciousness, embarrassment, and worry. The video's narrator grapples with social anxiety, particularly in school settings, which affects his interactions with classmates and contributes to his decision to use unhealthy coping strategies like watching porn.

💡Porn addiction

Porn addiction, as mentioned in the video, refers to an unhealthy and compulsive use of pornography that interferes with one's daily life and well-being. The speaker describes how his anxiety led to an addiction to porn as a means of escape, highlighting the negative spiral that can result from untreated anxiety.

💡Self-improvement

Self-improvement encompasses efforts to enhance one's knowledge, skills, and personal qualities. In the script, the speaker discovers self-improvement resources during the pandemic, which leads him to quit his porn addiction and start exercising, symbolizing a turning point in his journey towards overcoming anxiety and building confidence.

💡Confidence

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's abilities and achievements. The video's central theme revolves around building confidence to combat social anxiety. The speaker's increased confidence through self-improvement activities like gym workouts and growing his social media presence allows him to face his fears more effectively.

💡Turning point

A turning point is a moment or event that causes a significant change in a situation. The speaker identifies his successful oral presentation in school as a turning point, where he overcame his fear of public speaking and received validation from his teacher and classmates, marking a shift in his mindset and approach to social anxiety.

💡Challenge anxiety

Challenging anxiety involves直面 and confronting one's fears to reduce their power and impact. The video encourages viewers to identify and confront the specific situations that cause them anxiety, as the speaker did with his public speaking fear, to experience personal growth and reduced anxiety.

💡Validation

Validation is the confirmation or approval of the truth, accuracy, or legitimacy of something, often sought through the opinions of others. In the video, the speaker initially seeks validation from his classmates, which contributes to his anxiety. Later, he learns to find validation within himself through self-improvement, reducing his reliance on external approval.

💡Public speaking

Public speaking is the act of speaking to a group of people, often an audience or listeners. The video uses the speaker's experience with public speaking as a metaphor for facing and overcoming social anxiety. His initial fear and eventual success in giving a speech without a script illustrate the process of building confidence and managing anxiety.

💡Pride

Pride is a feeling of deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of others, or from qualities or possessions that are closely associated with oneself. The speaker's pride after his successful speech is a key emotion that reinforces his growing confidence and serves as a reward for overcoming his fear.

💡Self-worth

Self-worth refers to an individual's sense of personal value or self-esteem. The video narrative shows the speaker's journey from seeking external validation to recognizing his own self-worth through personal achievements, which is crucial in overcoming social anxiety and building a healthy self-image.

Highlights

Giving a speech in Indonesian led to intense embarrassment and anxiety.

Fear of public speaking was compounded by the fear of being judged by classmates.

Pornography was used as an escape from anxiety, leading to a dependency.

Social anxiety extended to all aspects of school life, including interactions with friends and teachers.

Confidence was derived from basketball skills, which was the only source of self-esteem.

A motivational quote was used as a daily mantra to overcome challenges.

Posting on social media was an attempt to gain validation and increase social status.

The pandemic provided temporary relief from social anxiety due to reduced face-to-face interactions.

Self-improvement activities, such as gym workouts, were initiated during the pandemic.

Quitting pornography was a significant step in the self-improvement journey.

The return to school after the pandemic led to a realization of a disconnect with peers.

A public speaking opportunity in school became a pivotal moment for overcoming social anxiety.

Delivering a speech without a script was a personal challenge to test and improve public speaking skills.

The fear of being called a fraud due to public speaking failures was a significant source of anxiety.

A successful speech in school led to a significant boost in confidence and a turning point in dealing with social anxiety.

The realization that people are more focused on themselves than on judging others was a key insight in overcoming anxiety.

Challenging anxiety by facing fears and taking action was recommended as a strategy for overcoming social anxiety.

The importance of understanding the root cause of fear and anxiety was emphasized.

The video concludes with a call to action for viewers to challenge their anxieties and live a better life.

Transcripts

5 years ago we were in Indonesian class

and I was at the front of the class

giving a speech in Indonesian to a bunch

of girls in my class cuz my class was

like three quars girls I think at that

point it was like 25 people so I was

nervous AF and it wasn't a normal speech

it was a speech in Indonesian so it was

10 times the cringe I was reading up a

piece of paper trying to read Indonesian

but I absolutely sucked at the class I

couldn't even remember one word bro so I

was reading off this thing speaking

gibberish and my face went red as [ __ ]

bro and the whole class just started

laughing because I was like third or

fourth I think I can't exactly remember

but the guys went who went before me did

a really good job compared to me and

right that was it that was it I stopped

halfway through I told the teacher yeah

I'm not doing this it's too hard so I

sat down oh but bro that kick started

many things for me uh I would head into

school every single day dreading

something like that happening again

and this was where my corn addiction

heavily started I would use porn to

escape from this anxiety at school I was

always scared of my face going red the

girls in in the corner of the class

laughing at me because their source of

validation was my happiness as any

13-year-old that's the case we all want

to be the most popular in school we all

want to have the most high status so it

was natural I started watching corn more

and more and more went from once a week

to twice a week to three times a week to

every day two or three times a day no

matter matter of 2 years and the more I

watched it the worse it got well the

worse my anxiety got and I got to a

around 8 it wasn't just woring about the

girls what they think of me anymore it

was the boys as well and I knew it was

getting bad then cuz I never really used

to care what other boys at my school

thought of me unless they had a tendency

to fight me yeah unless they were you

know violent kids then I would care but

if they wen't I wouldn't really give a

[ __ ] so it started off with just the

girls in my class then to basically

every single girl in U7 and then it was

the boys in U7 then it was my friends

and then it was my teachers so I was

basically socially anxious around every

single person now other than my parents

really and because of this anxiety I

felt very low status at school right I

wanted respect from people I was a

pretty good basketball player I was the

best basketball player in my class in my

yeah year level and that was like my

only source of confidence right it's the

only felt the only way I felt I truly

respected and truly admired so one night

I can't remember really remember what it

was it was either year seven or year

eight I posted a picture of me playing

basketball on Instagram to in in the

hopes of getting maybe some girls at my

school to like the photo even comment on

the photo yeah just to up my status a

little bit because I was known as a

pretty good basketball player right with

a motivational quote at the bottom this

was my staple quote that I always took

with me every single day of the week

hard work always beats Talent when

Talent fails to work hard because I was

a 5'5 kid going up against six-footers

at the age of 13 I had to have that

quote so I posted an IG and it got like

10

likes and the next day I remember no one

said anything to me directly so I don't

actually know if they were laughing at

me but we were in my we were in a class

and I naturally sat in like the middle

of the class and the girls sat at the

back and I kept looking back to the

girls cuz I kept laughing and every

every single time I looked back at least

I thought anyway they were laughing at

me because of the like because of my

anxious mindset right I thought every

was talking about me so a couple of days

later I archived that photo and only had

10 likes no one really saw it anyway no

one really gave a [ __ ] uh but then I was

stuck in a in a paralysis in my mind how

can I gain respect from people how can I

stop this anxiety how can I just be

confident without coming off as cringe

like I thought I did then near the end

of year eight the pandemic hit and I was

the happiest kid you'd ever meet bro no

social interaction I could turn my

camera off on Zoom or Microsoft we use

Microsoft teams

I was the happiest guy ever no one could

see me except my parents bro I could

talk to my friends on Playstation they

wouldn't actually see my face so I could

go R all I wanted I'll wake up every

morning do my school bust probably a

night or two and then I would just play

games for the rest of the day until I

discovered the world of

self-improvement and I discovered that

you know corn was actually really bad

for you I tried to quit you know you

guys the ogs know the story it took me

about 3 or 4 months to actually quit

after realizing that corn was bad I

started hitting the gym more all the

basic type of things that everyone does

nowadays on this self-improvement path

so my my confidence naturally grew and

then School came back around 6 months

later I think it was so I'm walking into

the first day of school I'm expecting to

be very very confident I've just focused

on myself the last 3 or 4 months there

was no reason why I shouldn't but I got

to school and all my friends are talking

about you know memes and games that I

haven't really been playing much you

know and I feel very left out because I

can't relate to anyone anymore so my

confidence is actually worse because I

can't relate to anyone I still have my

friends there of course they're still my

friends but I don't relate to my friends

as much as I used to and all my friends

were talking about how they watch corn

all over the holidays and that's all

they did all they did was release their

seed and they're talking about how their

right arms bigger than their left arm

their left arm is so weak cuz I haven't

done anything with it you know and I

couldn't relate to them because I knew

that you know that was the devil for me

at the point which it still is so I

turned even though I was a naturally

quiet kid into that more introverted

really really quiet kid who you know

might have sat by himself sometimes and

did his work and didn't talk in class

which everyone else would yeah just

because I couldn't really relate to much

people and then around a year later my

confidence has grown because I've made

progress in the gym I've grown my social

media following which has naturally you

know up my confidence a little bit by

looking at some pictures on the screen

there is an English oral presentation we

have to do yeah basically speech in

class about a book that we have read in

class and I have prepared I don't use a

script everyone else uses a script I

don't use a script because I'm used to

talking on YouTube without scripts so I

think to myself okay I'm going to

perform better without a script I ask

the teacher can I go first can I just

get it over and done with I am scared as

[ __ ] like this is this is the hardest

thing I've ever done if I stuff up this

without a script game's over bro game is

over people are going to start calling

me a fraud because I make uh videos

about how to how men can be more

confident people are going to call me a

fraud if I do not nail this speech

especially the girls in my class who you

know they have an agenda against me but

they'll naturally clown to me back in

the day and they still kind of do long

story short I go into this speech and I

actually do really really well I tune

out the noise and I just focus I think

of it just like a YouTube video I've

revised I just going to get into that

flow State that's it I finished the

speech and bro I'm the happiest man ever

yeah I've ended the speech with a

motivational quote that came off right

yeah my tone was good yeah I went red

but I didn't give a [ __ ] about it and as

soon as I just forgot about going red it

just went away I I I felt it go away I

went red for the first 20 seconds and

then for the next 3 minutes I wasn't

ready again but that would have been one

of the happiest days of my life I was

walking back to my seat when I was done

cuz I just said Thank you and just walk

back to my seat because I wanted to

basically saturate myself with pride

yeah but the teacher puts out her hand

like this stop go up to the front again

cuz for anyone who wanted to ask me

questions about you know my

speech and I think the teacher is doing

this to give me a high five for doing

well so I got to her I just give her a

massive high five cuz I'm so excited bro

and everyone started laughing at that so

then naturally I was more nervous cuz

I've just [ __ ] this speech up with

that that one thing even though the

speech was really good but started

laughing I started laughing at myself so

it was all cool yeah but that was that

was pretty funny I was that excited that

I just couldn't I didn't even hear over

I just saw her put her hand up so I gave

her a half five oh that was funny and

you hear a lot of people talk about oh

yeah there's no point in time where I've

just change right change happens over

time which 100% but with my confidence

and my ability to cope with my social

anxiety that was my turning point right

there I was so scared of that but

because I was so scared and because I

actually did really well I started maybe

once I spoke slow yeah I didn't let

anything anyone get to me I simply spoke

my true heart that was the turning point

in my life and naturally because I knew

it wasn't all that no one really gives a

[ __ ] right I'm a good speaker yeah I've

spoke multiple times on camera I know my

capabilities and because of that I

naturally seek out more uncomfortable

situations I put my hand up more in

class if there was a speech I would

always go first if there was an

opportunity for me to not use a script

and maybe get better marks for that I

would not use a script yeah because it

naturally tests my confidence yeah

naturally test my ability I saked at

those every single day yeah and I spoke

on camera basically every single day so

I was constantly refining my skills so

for anyone who is struggling with social

anxiety and severely whether it's a like

disorder or not I'm specifically talking

to the people who just experience it on

a day-to-day basis it might not be a

disort up because I've never I was never

diagnosed with an anxiety disorder I

don't know if I ever had one I probably

didn't yeah but if you haven't got the

gist of the main point of this video it

is to challenge your anxiety but I'm not

going to end the video here and just

tell you to challenge your anxiety I'm

actually going to explain to you how you

can challenge your anxiety and calm that

voice inside your mind and make the

whole process so much easier I want you

to identify the thing that you're so

scared of doing is it talking to that

girl is it talking to your crush is it

giv that speeching class is it putting

your hand up in class something really

simple bro is actionable it's realistic

yeah speaking in front of the whole

country given a presidential speech is

probably not realistic unless you're

someone of that capability watching this

video but think of a realistic scenario

for you and I want you to really imagine

this imagine that

scenario why are you actually scared of

it it's not just because oh let's let's

take the girl for example right I'm

scared to talk to my crush it's not that

you are scared to talk to your crush

it's why you're scared to talk to her

it's not because you you you're afraid

of what she thinks of you why are you

afraid of what she thinks of you maybe

your center of happiness is her

validation maybe it's simply the fact

that you're trying to use her as love

for yourself because you don't have love

for yourself right you look you can't

look yourself in the mirror because

you're not disciplined maybe you don't

have any you know you don't have any

goals you don't have any Ambitions or

maybe you do but you don't put work

towards them there can be so many

reasons why but that's why I ask you why

are you so scared just simp just one

thing why and much you've got that you

got to realize bro like no one really

gives a [ __ ] no one cares like no one

gives a [ __ ] you know I used to I I I

should have brought this up before but I

don't know if you can see I still

struggle with anxiety today it's not

like and I'm showing you my thumbs

because when I was little like year

seven my thumbs used to be red bro

because I pick them I don't know if you

can see that but I pick my thumb

sometimes I don't know if you can see it

but I pick come out of anxiety it's a

bad habit you when I get anxious I start

picking my thumbs even in some of these

videos you will see me put my head down

and pick my thumbs cuz I'm nervous to

say something and assuming you don't

have a social anxiety disorder everybody

has your same mindset some people are

outliers and they're very very confident

right but the average person has the

exact same mindset as you and they are

constantly thinking about themselves and

what you think of them not what they

think of you when everyone in my class

went up for a speech they don't give a

[ __ ] about my speech

they care about their they're only

saying it's cringe they're only saying

you know it's weird because they think

it's weird or cringe if they did it it's

simply a reflection of their own

perspective you can't let this anxiety

hold you back from living the life you

deserve to live you can't if you

continue like this always hiding behind

something you don't even know what

you're hiding behind this is going to

hold you back from living the life you

deserve it is because you deserve a

[ __ ] good life and at the back of

your mind you know you do so get that

one thing that you've been thinking of

this whole video yeah whether it's

talking to your crush going doing that

speech in class putting your hand up in

class tomorrow and answering a question

yeah that you might not be so confident

in just [ __ ] do it and just see what

happens bro yeah just see what happens

people start calling you cringe who

cares it's simply reflection of them and

it means you're doing something right my

friend you deserve a much better life

than you are living right now and this

anxiety if you're still watching this

video is the number one thing holding

you back all right so I want you to go

out there and challenge it yeah from my

personal experience bro it is the best

thing you will ever

do life's so much better on the other

side I will catch you in the next video

my brother peace