The skill of self confidence | Dr. Ivan Joseph | TEDxRyersonU

Summary

In this inspiring talk, a former soccer coach emphasizes the critical role of self-confidence in achieving success, both in sports and life. He debunks the myth that talent alone is enough, illustrating that belief in oneself is the key ingredient. The speaker shares practical strategies for cultivating self-confidence, such as repetition, positive self-talk, and embracing persistence in the face of adversity. He also highlights the power of affirmations and the importance of interpreting feedback positively to maintain self-assurance.

Takeaways

• 🏆 Success in sports, such as winning a national championship, doesn't automatically attract players unless scholarships are offered.
• 🤔 When recruiting, the speaker prioritizes self-confidence over physical skills, viewing it as the most crucial attribute for a soccer player.
• 🔑 Self-confidence is defined as the belief in one's ability to accomplish tasks regardless of the odds, and it is considered a trainable skill.
• 🔄 The importance of repetition in building self-confidence is highlighted, with the example of a goalkeeper who improved through consistent practice.
• 💡 The idea that pressure can be beneficial, like how it builds diamonds, is used to emphasize the need for familiarity with tasks to foster confidence.
• 🎯 The speaker shares personal experiences with nervousness and how practice helped overcome it, leading to the ability to perform well in front of large audiences.
• 🚫 Persistence is encouraged over mere repetition, as many give up after initial failures or adversities, using Edison and J.K. Rowling as examples of perseverance.
• 🗣️ The power of self-talk is discussed, noting that negative self-talk can undermine confidence and should be replaced with positive affirmations.
• 📝 The concept of writing a self-confidence letter to oneself is introduced as a method to reinforce one's achievements and boost self-assurance during tough times.
• 👥 The role of others in building self-confidence is touched upon, suggesting that positive feedback and praise from coaches and educators can significantly impact a person's confidence.
• 👂 The importance of interpreting feedback positively and the power of self-belief, regardless of external opinions, is emphasized as a key to maintaining self-confidence.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the speaker's speech?

The main theme of the speaker's speech is the importance of self-confidence and how it can be developed and maintained in various aspects of life, including sports and personal growth.

What does the speaker believe is the most important quality for a soccer player?

The speaker believes that self-confidence is the most important quality for a soccer player, as it is essential for overcoming challenges and maintaining belief in oneself.

How does the speaker define self-confidence?

The speaker defines self-confidence as the ability or belief to believe in oneself to accomplish any task, regardless of the odds, difficulty, or adversity.

What is the speaker's view on the role of scholarships in attracting athletes to a university?

The speaker suggests that scholarships, specifically $25,000 a year, can be a significant factor in attracting athletes to play for a university, as it shows investment in their abilities.

What is the speaker's opinion on the common answers parents give when asked about their child's soccer abilities?

The speaker finds that parents often focus on physical attributes or specific skills, such as vision or speed, but the speaker emphasizes that these are not the primary qualities they look for in a player.

What method does the speaker recommend for building self-confidence?

The speaker recommends repetition as a method for building self-confidence, suggesting that practice and persistence in performing a task can lead to mastery and increased confidence.

Can self-confidence be trained according to the speaker?

Yes, the speaker believes that self-confidence can be trained, as he uses the term 'skill' intentionally and provides examples of how it can be developed through practice and repetition.

What example does the speaker give to illustrate the power of repetition?

The speaker shares the story of a goalkeeper from Colombia who improved his skills by kicking a ball against a wall and catching it 350 times a day for eight months, leading to a professional career in Europe.

How does the speaker relate the concept of self-confidence to the idea of persistence?

The speaker relates self-confidence to persistence by suggesting that while many people repeat tasks, few persist through failure and adversity, which is a key aspect of building self-confidence.

What is the significance of the speaker's mention of famous figures like Malcom Gladwell, Edison, and J.K. Rowling?

The speaker uses these figures to emphasize the importance of persistence and the ability to overcome numerous failures and rejections, which are crucial for developing self-confidence and achieving success.

How does the speaker suggest using self-talk to build self-confidence?

The speaker suggests that changing negative self-talk to positive affirmations can help build self-confidence. He encourages individuals to counteract external negativity with internal positive reinforcement.

What advice does the speaker give for dealing with negative self-talk?

The speaker advises to stop the negative self-talk and replace it with self-affirmations, such as 'I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate,' to reinforce a positive self-image.

What strategy does the speaker propose for building self-confidence in others?

The speaker proposes the strategy of catching people when they are good, focusing on praising positive behavior and achievements rather than dwelling on mistakes, to build self-confidence in others.

How does the speaker describe the impact of positive feedback on self-confidence?

The speaker describes the impact of positive feedback as transformative, noting that focusing on what people do right rather than wrong can significantly boost their self-confidence and improve performance.

What is the speaker's view on the interpretation of feedback by self-confident individuals?

The speaker views self-confident individuals as those who interpret feedback in a way that supports their self-belief, choosing to focus on the positive aspects and using it as motivation rather than discouragement.

What final message does the speaker leave with the audience?

The speaker's final message is that no one will believe in you unless you believe in yourself first, encouraging the audience to embrace their uniqueness and maintain self-confidence.