Stumping Trumpists 8/9: Who's the Jerk?

TRYING BEINGS: From Life's Origins to Total Jerks
4 Aug 202422:04

Summary

TLDRIn this thought-provoking course segment, the speaker explores the concept of 'herobots'—individuals who adopt an infallible stance, mirroring the behavior of online trolls and Trump supporters. They delve into the human tendency to seek security and power, and how this desire manifests in both our personal lives and our societal structures. The speaker challenges the audience to embrace irony as a superpower, an antidote to dogmatism, and to recognize the universal aspects of the human condition that drive such behaviors. The discussion also touches on the psychological complexities of narcissism and the 'dark triad' personality traits, offering insights into the motivations behind those who exhibit these characteristics.

Takeaways

  • 😀 The speaker identifies as both liberal and conservative, emphasizing the need for balance in societal views.
  • 🗣️ The script critiques the tendency to label those with opposing views as 'jerks' or 'narcissists', suggesting a more nuanced understanding is needed.
  • 🤔 It questions the certainty with which people judge others, advocating for self-reflection and the acknowledgment of one's own potential biases.
  • 🧠 The concept of 'herobots' is introduced to describe individuals who claim infallibility and act as if they possess a surefire formula for success.
  • 😅 The importance of irony as a coping mechanism for life's uncertainties is discussed, distinguishing it from sarcasm and hypocrisy.
  • 🌐 The speaker's personal journey from a 'hippy Buddhist' to a scientific explorer of human nature and the evolution of language is shared.
  • 🔬 The script delves into scientific perspectives on life, suggesting that humans' unique ability to use language sets them apart from other creatures.
  • 🌱 It explores the idea that life is a continuous struggle against degeneration, and that humans survive by making 'iffy' guesses to regenerate faster than they degrade.
  • 🧠 The desire for absolute power, knowledge, and freedom is analyzed as a common human aspiration, reflecting the attributes often ascribed to God.
  • 🤝 The script concludes by suggesting that understanding and managing one's own reactions to 'herobots' or narcissists is key to dealing with them effectively.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the short course discussed in the script?

    -The main theme of the short course is the exploration of human behavior, particularly focusing on the concepts of 'herobots' and the tendency of individuals to engage in self-deceptive behaviors to maintain a heroic self-image, while also discussing the nature of conflict and the role of irony in understanding and navigating human interactions.

  • What does the term 'herobots' refer to in the context of the script?

    -In the script, 'herobots' refers to individuals who pretend to be infallible and act as if they possess a surefire formula for success, regardless of the reality of the situation. They are likened to robots because they follow a rigid pattern of behavior that is self-aggrandizing and unyielding.

  • How does the script define irony and why is it considered a superpower?

    -Irony in the script is defined as an attitude that includes self-effacing humor and the ability to laugh at oneself, as well as a recognition of the fallibility in one's own actions and decisions. It is considered a superpower because it serves as an antidote to the rigid and self-deceptive 'herobotic' behavior, allowing individuals to navigate life's uncertainties with a more flexible and self-aware approach.

  • What is the significance of the 'cosmic wedgie' mentioned in the script?

    -The 'cosmic wedgie' is a metaphor used in the script to describe the uncomfortable realization that there is no surefire formula for success in life. It emphasizes the inherent uncertainty and the need to make the best guesses or 'bets' despite not being able to eliminate the possibility of ironic or unexpected outcomes.

  • How does the script suggest we should approach our own fallibility and the pursuit of truth?

    -The script suggests that we should approach our fallibility with an ironic attitude, acknowledging that no matter how confident we are in our beliefs or decisions, we should remain even more confident that they are ultimately bets or guesses. It encourages a humble and self-aware pursuit of truth, recognizing that absolute certainty is unattainable.

  • What role does confirmation bias play in the script's discussion of 'herobots'?

    -Confirmation bias is presented in the script as a tool used by 'herobots' to reinforce their self-idealized image. They selectively take in ideas that make them feel good and heroic while rejecting those that challenge their self-view or make them feel inadequate, contrary to the approach of 'decent folks' who recognize and manage their confirmation bias.

  • How does the script connect the human desire for security and power with the concept of God?

    -The script connects the human desire for security, power, and freedom with the concept of God by highlighting that these are the same attributes we ascribe to a divine being. It suggests that the idealization of God as omnipotent, omniscient, and omnificent reflects our own deep-seated wishes for absolute control and certainty in our lives.

  • What is the 'dark triad personality' mentioned in the script and how does it relate to the concept of 'herobots'?

    -The 'dark triad personality' refers to a combination of three personality traits: psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism. The script relates this concept to 'herobots' by suggesting that individuals with these traits embody the idealized attributes of being all-powerful, all-righteous, and all-knowing, which are similar to the characteristics claimed by 'herobots' in their self-deceptive behavior.

  • How does the script suggest we deal with individuals who exhibit 'herobotic' behavior?

    -The script suggests that dealing with 'herobotic' individuals involves recognizing the irony and complexity of human behavior, and not falling into the trap of binary thinking that labels others as simply good or bad. It encourages a nuanced understanding and the development of strategies that consider one's own reactions and the dynamics of the situation.

  • What is the purpose of the email address provided at the end of the script?

    -The email address provided is for individuals seeking strategic consulting to tailor their response to dealing with 'herobots' in their lives. The consulting aims to assess the situation and develop a plan to manage conflicts effectively, considering various options such as asserting, accommodating, or distancing oneself from the problematic individuals.

Outlines

00:00

🤔 The Paradox of Self-Perception and Ironic Awareness

The speaker begins by addressing the audience's curiosity and the critical feedback received from 'top objective authorities,' which they humorously dismiss as proof of their point. They challenge the audience to consider their own biases and the tendency to label others as 'herobots' or 'buttheads.' The speaker advocates for an ironic perspective, which includes self-effacing humor and the ability to laugh at oneself, as a counter to the infallibility claimed by 'herobots.' They differentiate irony from sarcasm and hypocrisy, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging life's uncertainties and the potential for ironic outcomes, both positive and negative.

05:05

🧠 The Evolution of Human Uniqueness and the Pursuit of Certainty

The speaker shares their personal journey from a 'hippy Buddhist' to a seeker of truth through science, influenced by Terrence Deacon's research on human evolution and language. They discuss the human struggle for existence as a continuous battle against degeneration, highlighting the importance of making better guesses in an uncertain universe. The speaker emphasizes the ironic nature of life, where even the best bets can lead to ironic outcomes, and suggests that an ironic attitude is a superpower that allows one to embrace life's uncertainties.

10:09

🌿 The Metaphorical Battle for Existence and the Desire for Control

This paragraph delves into the biological necessity of self-regeneration and the selective interaction with the environment for survival. The speaker compares the intake of nourishment to the consumption of ideas, discussing the concept of confirmation bias and the human tendency to seek security and power. They articulate the desire for an ideal state of being, where one has absolute control, knowledge, and goodness, free from the constraints of reality and the ironic situations that life presents.

15:13

🔮 The God Complex and the Dark Triad of Personality

The speaker explores the concept of narcissism and the 'dark triad personality' traits, drawing parallels between the idealized human desires for omnipotence, omniscience, and omnificence, and the attributes ascribed to God. They critique the psychology profession for its early-stage understanding of these traits and the tendency to diagnose without fully understanding the complexities within individuals. The 'asshole trinity' is introduced as a cyclical rationalization for bad behavior, where each trait justifies the others in a seemingly consistent but ultimately self-contradictory manner.

20:18

🤝 Embracing Irony and Navigating Conflict with Strategic Consultation

In the final paragraph, the speaker invites the audience to recognize the commonalities among all people, including those with whom they disagree. They offer a service for strategic consulting to help individuals deal with conflicts, suggesting that there are multiple approaches to managing difficult relationships. The speaker emphasizes the importance of an ironic perspective, or 'calmfidence,' in dealing with the challenges posed by 'herobots' and other difficult individuals in one's life.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Herobots

The term 'herobots' is coined in the script to describe individuals who exhibit an unwavering belief in their own infallibility and righteousness. They are likened to robots because they seem to lack self-awareness and the ability to adapt their views, instead acting in a programmed, predictable manner. In the video's context, 'herobots' are contrasted with individuals who embrace the ironic and uncertain nature of life, suggesting a critical view of those who are overly dogmatic or self-righteous. The script uses this term to criticize the rigidity and hypocrisy of certain political or ideological groups, particularly those that the speaker perceives as opposing his own views.

💡Irony

Irony in the script is discussed as a complex concept that goes beyond mere sarcasm or wit. It is presented as a way of dealing with life's unpredictability and contradictions. The speaker argues that irony is a 'superpower' because it allows individuals to maintain a sense of humor and self-awareness in the face of life's challenges and the inevitability of ironic situations. The video uses irony to critique the self-righteousness of 'herobots' and to advocate for a more nuanced and humble approach to understanding oneself and others.

💡Narcissism

Narcissism, as mentioned in the script, refers to a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. The video discusses narcissism in the context of 'herobots' and the 'dark triad personality,' suggesting that narcissists are individuals who are overly self-absorbed and believe themselves to be superior to others. The script implies that narcissism can lead to a distorted view of reality and hinders one's ability to engage in self-reflection or change.

💡Psychoproctology

Psychoproctology is a term used in the script to describe a form of self-reflection and analysis that is both advanced and beginner-friendly. It involves examining one's own attitudes and behaviors critically, particularly those that may be perceived as negative or problematic by others. The video uses this term to encourage viewers to consider their own potential biases and shortcomings, rather than solely focusing on the flaws of others.

💡Confirmation Bias

Confirmation bias is a psychological phenomenon where individuals tend to favor information that confirms their existing beliefs or values. In the script, this concept is used to criticize 'herobots' who selectively embrace ideas that make them feel good or heroic while rejecting those that challenge their worldview. The video suggests that a more balanced and self-aware approach involves acknowledging and managing one's own confirmation bias.

💡Dark Triad Personality

The 'dark triad personality' refers to a combination of three personality traits: narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. The script discusses this concept to illustrate how certain individuals may exhibit traits that are both desirable and undesirable, such as a combination of grandiosity, manipulation, and a lack of empathy. The video uses the dark triad as a framework for understanding the complex motivations and behaviors of 'herobots' and other individuals who may be difficult to deal with.

💡Decent Folks

The term 'decent folks' is used in the script to contrast with 'herobots' and to describe individuals who are more self-aware, ironic, and open to questioning their own beliefs and actions. These individuals are portrayed as having a more nuanced understanding of the world and their place in it, as well as a willingness to engage with uncertainty and complexity. The video suggests that 'decent folks' are better equipped to navigate the challenges of life and relationships.

💡Iffy Guesswork

The phrase 'iffy guesswork' is used in the script to describe the uncertain and imperfect nature of decision-making and understanding in life. It emphasizes the idea that even our best efforts to make informed choices are ultimately guesses, subject to the unpredictable and ironic twists of fate. The video uses this concept to critique the certainty and dogmatism of 'herobots' and to advocate for a more humble and ironic approach to life.

💡Calmpetent Calmfidence

The term 'calmpetent calmfidence' is a play on words combining 'calm,' 'competent,' and 'confidence.' It is used in the script to describe an ideal state of being where one is both relaxed and capable, confident but not overbearing. The video suggests that this state is achieved through embracing irony and accepting the uncertainties of life, which allows individuals to respond to challenges with a balanced and effective approach.

💡Strategic Consulting

Strategic consulting, as mentioned in the script, refers to the professional service of providing advice and guidance on how to handle specific situations, particularly conflicts or challenges. The video offers the speaker's services in this area, suggesting that he can help individuals develop tailored strategies for dealing with difficult people or circumstances. This concept is used to illustrate the practical application of the ideas and themes discussed in the video.

Highlights

Introduction to the course on understanding and dealing with 'herobots' and Trump supporters, emphasizing the importance of recognizing one's own biases.

Acknowledgment of the author's own fallibility and the complexity of political and social stances, rejecting binary 'liberal' or 'conservative' labels.

Discussion on the difficulty of identifying 'jerks' or 'narcissists', suggesting self-awareness as a key differentiator.

Critique of pop psychology's tendency to label others without self-reflection, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of human behavior.

Definition and importance of 'irony' as a superpower, distinguishing it from sarcasm and hypocrisy.

Explanation of how irony relates to life's unpredictability and the human tendency to seek certainty in an uncertain universe.

Analysis of the appeal of 'miraculous' outcomes in fiction and religion, and the human desire for a 'happily ever after'.

Personal narrative of the author's journey from a 'hippy Buddhist' to a seeker of scientific understanding of human nature.

Introduction of Terrence Deacon's research on human evolution, language, and the unique aspects of human cognition.

Discussion on the fundamental tendency of degeneration in the universe and the paradox of life's persistence.

Explanation of how living beings, including humans, constantly struggle to regenerate themselves against the backdrop of degeneration.

The role of 'iffy guesswork' in Darwin's theory of evolution and the struggle for existence.

Description of the human desire for security, power, and freedom, and the contrast with the reality of life's uncertainties.

Analysis of confirmation bias and the human tendency to seek ideas that confirm one's existing beliefs while avoiding contradictory information.

Comparison of the human desire for omnipotence, omniscience, and omnificence with the traditional attributes of God.

Identification of the 'Dark Triad' personality traits (narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism) and their parallels with divine qualities.

Critique of psychological diagnoses and the concept of the 'asshole trinity' as a cycle of self-justification and moral dissonance.

Final thoughts on the universality of human desires and the challenge of embracing life's ironies with 'calmfidence'.

Transcripts

play00:00

Welcome to Part 8 of this short course on rolling  trolls and stumping Trumpists. I’m grateful  

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for your curiosity and comments, and especially  grateful for the help I’m getting from the world’s  

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top objective authorities whose comments expose  me as just another liberal loser with my panties  

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in a twist because my dumb, evil, weak, biased  bullshit is doomed against the great, heroic,  

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genius, saintly, mighty eternally triumphant  Trump crusade. They’re not the herobots. I am.

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I thank them for proving my point. Herobots will  say or do anything to pretend they’re heroic.

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And no I’m not just another liberal. Like,  everyone, I’m a liberal conservative because  

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duh: We’re all trying to figure out  what to loosen and what to tighten,  

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what to change and what to keep the same.  To claim that you’re all for one or all  

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for the other is just brandstanding,  lifestyle-brand grandstanding, like what  

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you want to loosen or tighten proves you're a  heroic crusader for one or the other. Absurd.

play00:58

Still, my critics raise an important question:  

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When two factions accuse each other of being  jerks, narcissists, a-holes, psychopaths,  

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or as I’ve been describing them herobots,  how can you tell for sure who’s right?

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I’ll argue you can’t tell for sure but  you can make much better guesses than  

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most of us do assuming that that whoever  we butt heads with the butthead – because  

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don’t like their attitude, perspective,  decisions, lifestyle, tone, power, tribe,  

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or the way we feel when pissed, bugged,  annoyed, and humiliated around them.

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Really, what distinguishes a butthead since it  can’t just be that you butt heads with them? If  

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you find that question interesting, that’s  a good sign you’re not one. It means you  

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don’t assume you’re the authority on who’s  the buttehead and wonder if maybe you are.

play01:51

Most pop psychology on narcissism flatters its  audience with the assumption that they’re the  

play01:57

good guys. I assume that if I don’t want to be  a butthead I have to expect some anxiety about  

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whether I am. People often ask me if they’re the  asshole. I tell them that their self-doubt is a  

play02:11

sign that they’re not. I call this work advanced  psychoproctology for beginners – advanced in that  

play02:19

while we’re all quick to call someone any of those  names, we rarely get around to defining them.

play02:26

I’ve argued that herobots pretend they’re  infallible. They act like they have the surefire  

play02:31

formula and are destined to reign victorious  no matter what. Decent folks are at least a  

play02:38

little more ironic than that. They have an ironic  attitude, including some self-effacing irony, an  

play02:44

ability to laugh at themselves, and their fallible  struggle to figure out what’s best to do. I’ve  

play02:50

argued that irony is your superpower, the antidote  to herobotic BS. It’s time to unpack that.

play02:59

Maybe you think irony is sarcasm or some  kind of witty style. There’s some of that  

play03:04

but it is not the heart of it or the grounding  for why I argue that irony is your superpower.

play03:12

People often confuse irony with  hypocrisy. That’s ironic because actually,  

play03:17

it’s the reverse. They’re opposite  ways to deal with life’s iffiness.

play03:23

An ironic situation is one in which the outcome  is the reverse of what you assumed and expected.  

play03:30

You made a good bet that ironically turned out  

play03:33

bad. You made a bad bet that  ironically turned out good.

play03:38

Ironic situations are funny. You expected a  wooden floor beneath your feet but instead,  

play03:43

there was a banana peel and you fell. Slapstick.

play03:45

Ironic situations are dire: You landed on your  head, cracked your skull, and died. Tragic. Dirony  

play03:46

would be more accurate term:  Dire irony. Life as tragicomedy.

play03:52

Irony can also be the relief we relish in popular  fiction. When all seems lost, suddenly there’s a  

play03:58

miracle and it’s happily ever after. To juice that  relief, you need tension first, a hero’s journey,  

play04:04

and an existential threat that puts you on the  edge of your seat, yet is sure to resolve well.

play04:11

You know. Like Christ, the tragic martyr  who is destined to rule the world,  

play04:15

king of kings. Herobots love that stuff even  though it’s contradictory. A believer already  

play04:22

knows the outcome, even though their God  works in mysterious ways. “God is absolutely  

play04:28

unknowable. Let me tell you all about him  because I know him inside out.” People eat  

play04:34

that stuff up whether it’s a Marvel movie or  a Christian miracle. We’d welcome irony if it  

play04:41

always resolved to a miraculous happily ever  after. Romance, broadly defined is the dream  

play04:47

of happily ever after that lives in all  of us but is never realized in reality.

play04:54

I was raised on irony. My dad would say “You  know I haven’t lived my life in vain for  

play04:59

nothing.” Jews have a tendency toward  the tragicomic ironic attitude. And look  

play05:05

at me. Have you seen this nose? So maybe my  crusade for irony is just my personal bias:  

play05:11

Anyone who isn’t ironic like  me is butthead herobots.

play05:17

Maybe. I wouldn’t put it past me, cause after all  I’m human. If ths were all my personal bias I’d  

play05:24

be the last to know. My mantra is “No matter how  hard I chase the truth it will never catch me.”

play05:31

I don’t bet so and here’s why. Like  any of us I’m kind of self-obsessed  

play05:35

always trying to figure out what to try to  do. Until my mid-thirties I went about it  

play05:40

the usual way. I was your typical hippy  Buddhist love-is-the-answer kind of guy.  

play05:45

I felt brilliant for discovering that  love was good and deciding there should  

play05:51

be more of it. I was a loving guy promoting  love. That’s me and what I’m trying to do.

play05:58

I thought of all of us as educatable units. Just  educate people to be more loving. Circumstances  

play06:05

sobered me out of it. I ended up trapped with  someone who had a lot in common with Trump.

play06:12

I started to look for what to believe next,  but noticed that there’s a tendency for us  

play06:17

seen-the-light, woke, humans to drop a dogma  but not the dogmatism, instead transferring  

play06:23

it to some other dogma. I call that “I  once was lost but now I’m blind syndrome.”

play06:30

Rather than jumping on some new bandwagon,  I got interested in how people shop among  

play06:36

interpretations of reality. I figured  that if I wanted a really grounded  

play06:41

interpretation of who I am, my best bet would  be science. Understanding what we really are.  

play06:48

Midsized mammals but different in  some radical way from say, a dog.

play06:54

I lucked into the company of Terrence Deacon a  Harvard neuroscientist/biologist/anthropologist  

play07:01

with whom I’ve now been working closely for 30  years. He had just completed decades of research,  

play07:07

explaining how humans evolved language  and how it makes us radically different  

play07:12

from other critters. When I met him, he has just  turned his attention to an even bigger question,  

play07:20

so big it’s sidestepped by even most researchers.

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I ground my work in psychoproctology in 30  years researching the physical origins and  

play07:30

nature of us beings struggling for  their own existence. In other words  

play07:37

how mattering emerged from matter, how  being beings trying to survive emerged  

play07:43

within nothing but basic chemistry  which isn’t trying to do anything.

play07:49

From this research on the origins of life  and the evolution of language it’s become  

play07:54

obvious to me why we humans are so tempted to  play hero and are so drawn to imaginary Gods.

play08:02

You won’t get what I’m about to provide  from the philosophers, psychologists,  

play08:07

theologians, or Darwinian atheists. They  don’t really explain how we emerged,  

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they just assume we did. Check this out. A  physicist who said the man in the moon trying  

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to pull on the tides would be considered  crazy. Just down the hall a biologist or  

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psychologist can talk about what living beings  are trying to do and no one considers them crazy.  

play08:30

Why the gap? Researchers mostly sidestep the  question. The life and social sciences assume  

play08:37

life is just different. Why? Because of natural  selection, like it’s trying to evolve life which  

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it isn’t. And because of DNA which is just a  molecule, not a self trying to do anything.

play08:49

Our research on this big old  honking question starts with this:  

play08:53

Everything degenerates. Scientists agree  that degeneration is the most fundamental  

play08:59

tendency of everything in the known universe.  Durable stuff degenerates slowly. We fragile  

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living beings are not durable. I mean 15 minutes  after death there’s no recovering us. We’re that  

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fragile. And yet here we are 3.5 billion years  of uninterrupted life. How do we pull that off?

play09:22

Being is a great word for us because it’s a  verb and a noun. We’re busy being beings. We  

play09:28

regenerate ourselves faster than we are  otherwise degenerating, and by the time  

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we degenerate at death, we’ve passed on our  ability to regenerate to next generations.

play09:39

How do we do it? The answer is through iffy  guesswork. I think of Darwin’s theory as a  

play09:45

cosmic wedgie that’s enough to put  any of our panties in a twist. Not  

play09:49

because we descended from apes but because  life is an iffy struggle for existence,  

play09:55

a struggle to make better bets in a universe  where you can’t eliminate dire ironic situations.

play10:03

The cosmic wedgie is that there is no surefire  formula. You can make better bets but they’ll  

play10:09

never be perfect. The appropriate though  disappointing response to reality is an ironic  

play10:15

attitude: No matter how confident you are in a  bet, remain still more confident that it is a bet.

play10:24

Yeah but really how do we keep ourselves alive  despite the fact that we’re degenerating?  

play10:29

Well, we degenerate food and channel it  into regenerating ourselves. For example,  

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today you’re degenerating recent meals to generate  

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330 billion replacement cells. You have to  because you’re losing them at that rate.

play10:49

Self-regeneration takes work, which takes  energy. Trouble is, energy is more likely to  

play10:55

degenerate than regenerate things. Tornadoes,  fires, and floods degenerate. To stay alive,  

play11:03

organisms have to interact selectively with  their environments, taking in the energy they  

play11:08

can use to regenerate themselves, not the energy  that degenerates them. Digest food, not poison.

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Your self-regenerative struggle for existence is  what you have in common with all living beings,  

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even all the ones that can’t feel or  think. You’re constantly working to  

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keep your shit together, your integrity  maintained, all the checks-and-balances  

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biological integration that keeps you  living. Death is the collapse of those  

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checks and balances, runaway effects  with nothing to keep them in check.

play11:44

Like all animals we have feelings. With language,  we also have thoughts, concepts, imaginations,  

play11:51

ideas. We can imagine anything including  the ideal. We can see how we and our reality  

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falls short of the ideal but we can imagine a  miracle that would give us the surefire formula.

play12:06

All critters try to eat food, not poison. We  do that too but having feelings and thoughts,  

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we also try to eat nutritious ideas  not toxic ones. In other words,  

play12:16

confirmation bias, taking in ideas that  make us feel good, even heroic and keeping  

play12:22

out buzzkill ideas that make us feel like  chumps. Decent folks recognize confirmation  

play12:29

bias as a problem they have to manage, sometimes  taking in discouraging ideas and learning from  

play12:35

them. In contrast, herobots treat confirmation  bias as the solution to all of there problems.

play12:43

OK, so let me give voice to  what any organism anywhere in  

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the universe would want if it had  feelings and thoughts like we do.

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What do I want? I’ll tell you. First, I don’t  like iffiness and I can imagine the ideal of not  

play12:59

having to deal with any more of it. No  more ironic situations ever. ‘Cause see,  

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I’m trying to stay alive. I hate stuff  that threatens to kill me. I hate to be  

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undermined. I’d like to never have to  deal with that shit. I want security.  

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And I love anything that makes it easier  for me to stay alive. More than that,  

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to do whatever the hell I want. You know what  I want? I want absolute security and absolute  

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power. I want absolute safety and absolute  freedom. What I want, what I can imagine and  

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what I deserve is a wild card trump card so  I could do anything and could do no wrong.  

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There’d be like one last ironic miracle  that gave me. Just like in the movies,  

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a revelation, an epiphany. I’d wake up to the  absolute truth, take the red pill and suddenly,  

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I’m woke to the surefire formula that  guarantees me success. No more doubt,  

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no more damned banana peels, no more humiliating  ironic situations. No more guessing. No more bets.

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See, what I want most is to feel good. I want  comfort in my own skin. More than that, actually.  

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I want constant ecstasy, like heaven, the ultimate  reward for my heroic effort to stay alive.

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There are thoughts that make me feel good  and thoughts that make me feel bad. I try  

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to keep out the thoughts that make me  feel bad. They’re like poison to me. I  

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hate that shit. But I love thoughts that  make me feel good about myself. So yeah,  

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anyone who makes me feel bad is  the enemy, evil, dumb and weak.

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What I hate is thoughts that trick me.  Thoughts that I mistake as nutritious  

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when they turn out to be toxic. No  more of that shit, no more confusion,  

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no more getting tricked. I want perfect knowledge  about what’s going on so I can feel inner harmony,  

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like I’m a good guy so I don’t have any more  doubt and anxiety making me uncomfortable in  

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my own skin. I’d like to be able to keep  my shit together easily, effortlessly.

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Ideally, I’d have perfect freedom, perfect safety,  perfect knowledge, so I don’t have any more doubt  

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about whether I’m a good guy. I’d be all powerful,  all knowing, and all good, with perfect integrity.

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That’s what any critter would  want, a tree, tree frog, bacterium,  

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or even an extraterrestrial being talking,  if it had feelings and thoughts like ours.

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It’s also exactly what we idealize in God. God is  omnipotent, all powerful, free to do whatever he  

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wants. God is omniscient. He knows everything and  is never surprised or confused. God is omnificent,  

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all good, so no matter what he does, he’s safe,  free from guilt or shame. And God is one. He has  

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perfect integrity. You’ve probably heard the  question: Could God build a mountain so big  

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he can’t move it? If he can or he can’t he’s not  all powerful. Well, theologians have an answer:  

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He wouldn’t. He never gets himself into ironic  binds like that because he has perfect integrity.

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Herobots play God and God’s defender and no  wonder. It’s like a living being’s wet dream  

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come true. I hope by now you recognize  that I’m not just talking about trolls  

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and trumpists. If you’ve been wondering  how this stuff applies to some jerk you  

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have to deal with at home or work or in your  family or among your neighbors and friends,  

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good. It applies to what are generally known  today as narcissists or in everyday language,  

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assholes, many of whom claim no  cause greater than “cause I said so.”

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Well, it’s funny. Narcissists  are named after Narcissus,  

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a guy who couldn’t stop looking at himself, but  that’s the one thing you can’t get a narcissist  

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to do. “You’re a narcissist. You should  take a good look at yourself.” Weird huh?

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But not when you realize that narcissists  have split personalities. They play God and  

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God’s goon defender. One part of them is  fixated on a herobotic self-idealization,  

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the God they pretend they are. The other part is a  thug who will wage holy war to protect and promote  

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their God-like authority. Holy means pure. War  is dirty. No deed to dirty for a saint like them.

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In psychology, the current term for current term  for herobots is dark triad personality. These are  

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early days for psychology, a hundred-year-old  field that isn’t rocket science. It’s way,  

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way harder. I’m happy to cut my  profession lots of slack, but not  

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when it acts like it has solved psychology  already. There’s lots more to figure out.

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Psychology is still more engineering than  science. Its focus is on troubleshooting  

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broken minds. It has its diagnostic categories,  which are often based more on impressions than  

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what’s really going on inside the people  it’s trying to debug. Narcissists can’t,  

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won’t and act like they shouldn’t introspect,  but they appear self-obsessed. Psychopathy  

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means ill soul. Again, these are  early days for psychological science.

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The Dark Triad personality is just the  combination of three diagnostic categories;  

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Psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavelianism.

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But notice this: Those three traits match  the ideal we envision for God. Narcissism is,  

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“I’m absolutely righteous. Perfectly pure  and holy. Everything I do is virtuous.”  

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Psychopathy is, “I’m absolutely powerful.  Nothing can stop me. I’m perfectly safe  

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and secure from being overthrown.”  Machiavelianism is “I’m all-knowing,  

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always right, clever, cunning,  devious. Nothing can ever outwit me.”

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Dark triad isn’t just three separate traits.  It’s a shell game, I’ll call the assholey  

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trinity. Since I’m sweet I should cheat, since I  cheat I can beat. That I beat proves I’m sweet.  

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Because I’m always good, it’s my duty to win be  deviously nasty. No deed too nasty for a saint  

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like me. Being devious, I always win and even  when I don’t I can be devious and claim I won.  

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Always winning proves I’m mighty. And since might  makes right, it proves I’m a saint. I’m a saint  

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‘cause I win. As a saint I should sin.'Cause  I sin, I can win. I’m a saint cause I win.

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Shell games lack integrity. I mean no deed  too dirty for a saint like me? How does that  

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work? Easily. Just claim that you have perfect  integrity. You’re like God that way. You’re one.  

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Just insist that you never contradict yourself.  You only have to be consistent about one thing:  

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The claim that you’re consistent. As long  as you can overpower people with that,  

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you can do whatever you want. You get your  wildcard trumpcard. You feel perfectly safe  

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and free. Free to do anything safe from  having to ever admit you’re bad or wrong.  

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Free to pretend you’re heroic, eternally  right righteous, mighty, and consistent.

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I hope you can see how tempting it would be to  play herobot. A lot of people proudly proclaim  

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they’ll never understand Trumpists or jerks,  beneath us, like they’re some weird species.

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I’ll end with a bit of irony:  There are two kinds of people.  

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Those who recognize and those who don’t  recognize that we are all the same.

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I’m both. In the next video, I’ll explain how  to resign yourself to irony as comfortably  

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as possible. Because rolling trolls, stumping  Trumpists, and disappointing narcissists of all  

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kinds is not some formula to perform robotically.  You really have to live and breathe irony to voice  

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your embrace of life’s iffiness with calmpetent  calmfidence – calm competent confidence.

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And if you are dealing with one of these  folks, get in touch. Here’s my email. I  

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do short-term strategic consulting to tailor  your response to your particulars. I figure  

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you’ve got three main options in any conflict,  rolling them being only one. You can assert,  

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accommodate, or put some distance between you  and them. Any of those can work or fail. We  

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assess your situation including your appetites  aptitudes and opportunities. We consider the  

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upsides and downsides of variations on those  three and come up with a plan to get your mind  

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back from the herobots in your life. Clients  rave about my services as an efficient bargain.

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Related Tags
NarcissismIronySelf-AwarenessPsychologyHuman BehaviorConflict ResolutionEmotional TonePersonal GrowthSocial DynamicsSelf-Improvement