Daily Acts of Courage | Robert (Dusty) Staub | TEDxWilmington

Summary

The speaker shares a profound message about the transformative power of daily acts of courage, which they define as seven distinct yet interconnected behaviors. These acts range from dreaming and confronting reality to being vulnerable and taking action despite fear. The speaker's personal journey, marked by a challenging relationship with their military father, illustrates how embracing these acts can lead to personal liberation and improved relationships. The narrative concludes with an encouragement to identify and develop one's least practiced acts of courage to enhance the 'cardiovascular system of the soul' and live a more fulfilling life.

Takeaways

• 💪 The concept of courage originates from the French word for heart, emphasizing the heart's role in accessing bravery.
• 🌟 Small, daily acts of courage can strengthen the 'cardiovascular system of the soul', unlocking potential and passion.
• 🛌 Facing death can be a catalyst for personal transformation and embracing courage.
• 🎯 The seven acts of courage include dreaming, confronting reality, telling the truth, being open to confrontation, embracing the unknown, being vulnerable, and taking action despite fear.
• 🌈 Each act of courage is interconnected and contributes to personal growth and integrity.
• 🏆 The speaker's personal journey demonstrates the transformative power of courage in repairing relationships and personal development.
• 🤝 Changing oneself can lead to positive changes in relationships, as seen in the speaker's improved relationship with his father.
• 🔄 The speaker's father's initial resistance to change eventually led to a profound connection and mutual respect.
• 🌱 Daily acts of courage are essential for personal growth and filling the soul with love, joy, and meaning.
• 🚀 Identifying and developing the least developed acts of courage can prevent personal setbacks and enhance life quality.
• 💌 Sharing the idea of daily acts of courage is a valuable contribution to personal and collective well-being.

Q & A

What is the origin of the word 'courage'?

The word 'courage' comes from the French word for 'heart,' signifying that accessing courage means accessing our heart.

How can small daily acts of courage develop the 'cardiovascular system of the soul'?

Small daily acts of courage help to liberate purpose, passion, and power, enabling one to be their best self and live their best life, thus strengthening the metaphorical cardiovascular system of the soul.

What are the seven acts of courage mentioned in the script?

The seven acts of courage are: 1) the courage to dream and express dreams, 2) the courage to see current reality, 3) the courage to tell truth to power, 4) the courage to be confronted, 5) the courage to step into the unknown, 6) the courage to be vulnerable, and 7) the courage to take action despite fear and doubt.

How did the speaker's encounter with a dying veteran at the VA hospital impact their life?

The speaker was profoundly affected by witnessing the veteran's peaceful death and the love expressed by his family. This experience led the speaker to realize the importance of confronting their fears and changing their relationship with their father.

What was the turning point for the speaker in their relationship with their father?

The turning point was the speaker's realization that they had been living in fear and sacrificing their life to avoid judgment. They committed to transforming their relationship with their father, which eventually led to a deeper and more loving connection.

How did the speaker's father change after the speaker's personal transformation?

After the speaker's transformation, the father began to express love and pride for the first time, sought the speaker's advice, and their relationship improved significantly, turning him into the best friend the speaker could have wished for.

What is the significance of the ancient Celtic insight mentioned in the script?

The ancient Celtic insight suggests that we exist in a landscape of sacred shapes, and as architects, we shape not only our environment but also the people around us and who we become.

How did the speaker's childhood experiences shape their early adult life?

Growing up in a military family with a strict father and moving frequently, the speaker developed a defensive shell of sarcasm, argumentativeness, and rebelliousness due to constant anxiety and the pressure to be tough like their father.

What was the speaker's realization about life and death?

The speaker realized that everything they would have, learn, and love would eventually have to be let go at the moment of death, which led to a commitment to stop worshipping fear and to transform their life and relationships.

How did the speaker apply the seven acts of courage to their relationship with their father?

The speaker applied the acts by dreaming of a different relationship, confronting their own fears and behaviors, being open to change, and taking action to improve their relationship, which ultimately led to a stronger bond with their father.

What advice does the speaker give to the audience regarding the seven acts of courage?

The speaker urges the audience to examine these acts and identify the one or two they are least developed in, as these are the areas where they may be holding themselves back in life.

Outlines

00:00

🌟 The Power of Courage

The speaker introduces the concept of courage, explaining its origin and significance. They emphasize that small acts of courage can enhance one's inner strength and enable a person to live their best life. The speaker shares a personal story about a life-changing realization after witnessing a patient's death, which led to the development of seven acts of courage that transformed their life.

05:00

🌈 The Seven Acts of Courage

The speaker outlines the seven acts of courage: dreaming and expressing dreams, facing current reality, telling the truth to power, being open to confrontation, stepping into the unknown, being vulnerable, and taking action despite fear. They share a personal transformation story, detailing how they applied these acts to improve their relationship with their father, leading to a profound change in their life and family dynamics.

10:01

💪 Cultivating the Soul's Cardiovascular System

The speaker concludes by encouraging the audience to reflect on their own development of the seven acts of courage. They suggest that identifying and working on the least developed acts can significantly improve one's life. The speaker emphasizes the importance of daily acts of courage in nurturing the soul and achieving a fulfilling life.

Keywords

💡Courage

Courage, in the context of the video, refers to the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand fear, doubt, or criticism. It is central to the speaker's message, emphasizing that small acts of courage can lead to significant personal growth and transformation. The speaker shares seven acts of courage, such as dreaming, confronting oneself and others, and taking action despite fear, which are all integral to living a fulfilling life.

💡Heart

The heart, metaphorically used in the video, represents the core of one's being, the source of emotions, and the driving force behind actions. The speaker suggests that accessing one's heart is akin to tapping into courage, which is essential for personal growth and living authentically.

💡Transformation

Transformation in the video signifies a profound change in one's character or life, often resulting from confronting fears and embracing vulnerability. It is a process that involves the seven acts of courage and leads to a more authentic and fulfilling existence.

💡Dreams

Dreams, as discussed in the video, are aspirations or goals that individuals hold. The courage to dream involves the willingness to envision a better future and express those aspirations despite potential criticism or self-doubt.

💡Reality

Reality, in this context, refers to the current state of affairs or one's life circumstances. The courage to see one's reality involves acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of one's life, which is a necessary step for personal growth and change.

💡Confrontation

Confrontation here means the act of facing challenges or difficult truths, both in oneself and in others. It requires the courage to speak truth to power and to engage in difficult conversations, which can lead to personal growth and improved relationships.

💡Vulnerability

Vulnerability in the video is portrayed as the willingness to open up emotionally, to express needs, and to be open to life's experiences. It is a key component of courage and is essential for building authentic connections with others.

💡Action

Action, as discussed, is the act of taking steps towards one's goals or dreams, even in the face of fear and doubt. It is the culmination of the other acts of courage and is necessary for realizing change in one's life.

💡Passion

Passion in the video represents the strong emotions or enthusiasm that drive individuals towards their goals or interests. It is a key element in living one's best life and is often unlocked through acts of courage.

💡Purpose

Purpose refers to the sense of reason or meaning behind one's actions or existence. In the video, the speaker suggests that by practicing courage, individuals can discover and fulfill their purpose, leading to a more meaningful life.

Highlights

The word 'courage' originates from the French word for 'heart'.

Courage can be developed through small, daily acts.

The speaker's concept of the 'cardiovascular system of the soul'.

The paradox of accessing courage through death.

The seven acts of courage that transformed the speaker's life.

The first act of courage is to dream and express dreams despite criticism.

The second act involves seeing one's current reality and understanding what works and what doesn't.

The third act is the courage to tell the truth to power.

The fourth act is the courage to be confronted and to listen to others' perspectives.

The fifth act is the courage to step into the unknown and take emotional risks.

The sixth act is the courage to be vulnerable and open to needs.

The seventh act is the courage to take action despite fear and doubt.

The ancient Celtic insight about existing in a landscape of sacred shapes.

The speaker's personal story of growing up in a military family and the impact on their character.

The transformative moment witnessing a patient's death and its impact on the speaker's life.

The commitment to change and the transformation of the speaker's relationship with their father.

The speaker's realization that changing oneself can change the whole system, including family dynamics.

The speaker's father eventually expressing love and pride, marking a significant change in their relationship.

The importance of daily acts of courage for personal growth and fulfillment.

Transcripts

today I want to talk to you

the word itself comes from the French

word for heart so when we access courage

we access our heart and it is

interesting when you think about this

the idea I want to share with you that I

have seen change thousands of lives is a

very simple one small discrete daily

acts of courage can serve to develop

what I like to call the cardiovascular

system of your soul helping to liberate

the purpose the passion and the power to

be your best self to live your best life

now the paradox of all that is that it

took death for me to access my heart and

it was death that gave birth to the

seven acts of courage that transformed

my life before I tell you that story

I'd like to share with you those seven

acts of courage briefly the first act of

courage is the courage to dream and

express the dream in spite of critics

naysayers internet trolls and your own

self-doubt the second act of courage is

the courage to see your current reality

to see what's standing with you what's

working for you what's also working

against you now the third act of courage

if I want to go from my current reality

to that vision I have to have the

courage as the Quakers say to tell truth

to power I have to have the courage to

confront but it's not enough to do that

I need to have the fourth act of courage

which is to be confronted if I dish it

out but won't take it there's no

integrity

so the courage to be confronted is to

hear other people even if they don't

deliver it in the most respectful way

the fifth act of courage is a tough one

it's the courage to step into the

unknown into ambiguity to take emotional

risks and to give up the need to be

right the sixth act of courage is the

courage to be vulnerable and open to our

needs the needs of others to be

vulnerable to life and finally the

seventh act of courage is the courage to

take action

act in spite of fear and doubt and it's

doing the right thing not what's most

comfortable habitual or routine and what

you do now the ancient Celtic people had

an insight they we exist in a landscape

of sacred shapes and that we are

architects and helped to shape that

landscape well as we shape that

landscape we also get to shape the

people around us and who we get to

become and how we get to dance to live

in this world of which we are unique and

special part so there we go the triple

spiral triple meaning so I grew up in a

military family of tradition honor and

responsibility

my father was a football star full

scholarship to Notre Dame instead of

going to school he went to fight for his

country in World War two now in high

school my father's nickname was get his

picture up here was blood and guts stop

and he was a tough character serving

with 101st airborne and the 82nd

airborne only made him tougher and

stronger now imagine going home and

telling this face that you got a D my

dad wanted me to be tough and strong

just like he was thing is we moved quite

a bit I was in ten different schools the

first ten years of schooling I was

always a misfit and in England I think

they called me that damn yank in off

base schools I was the damn army brat

I'll tell you I got beat up a lot what

was worse if I went home and I told this

man that I'd been beaten up

he'd whipped me and tell me go back to

kick tail cuz that's what he would do

the thing is I wasn't the warrior my

father was and wanted me to be I spent

my childhood in a high state of anxiety

about the next move the next bully the

next time my father would be angry with

me and by the time I was 11 years old

I had developed a defensive shell of

being sarcastic

argumentative righteous and rebellious I

was a real joint no and that fast

forward fast forward 11 years I was 28

years old my defensive shell well in

place having to prove I was right all

the time

argumentative and I was working in the

VA hospital as part of an internship in

graduate school as I was working at the

VA one of the patients I worked with was

a man in his early 60s when I met him he

could no longer talk he was being fed by

a tube in his stomach he was thin as

real nearly bald but he had brown gentle

eyes and he had a warm knowing smile on

his last afternoon on earth I happened

to be standing by his bedside because

I've been working with a family on the

other side was the duty nurse the wife

and his daughter his wife was holding

his right hand in both of hers and the

nurse was encouraging them to speak

their heart and I stood there in

amazement as they poured out their love

their gratitude and appreciation for

this man and in the middle of it he

simply exhaled and he was gone

a wife bent forward to kiss his lips

covering his face with her hair tears

are running down everybody's face

including mine after a while the nurse

led them from the room and I was left

standing there I couldn't move standing

there by the body of this man who had

served his country and just simply loved

his family it was like a bolt of

lightning went through the top of my

head down through the soles of my feet

and I realized that at some point in

time everything I would have everything

I would learn everyone I would love I

would have to let go of at the moment of

death what was more devastating I

realized that if that had been my father

on that bed that I could not have said

to him what that daughter said to her

in that moment I saw very clearly that I

had been treating fears if it was some

sort of God sacrificing my life to not

being judged to not being found wanting

to not taking emotional risk I made a

commitment to stop worshipping a false

god and I made a commitment to transform

my relationship with my dad now this was

hard because he had not had the same

commitment or a realization so I went

home now I and our family we yelled at

each other I decided I wasn't gonna yell

I was always proving how smart I was I

mean he was always putting me in my

place so when I went home next time he

started yelling I started yelling I

caught myself was very proud I

remembered that veteran in the VA and I

said dad I want to apologize he said I

don't accept your damn apology so I went

for a walk around the neighborhood to

calm down which was a new behavior I

came back ready to engage and he said

where you go you damn coward I went for

another long walk I want to tell you

that in the first few months of this

exercise I got a lot of physical

exercise but at the end of nine months I

was free I've been able to tell him my

appreciation my love I've been able to

engage with him and I was free and then

something amazing happened you can't

change one part of a system without

changing the whole system 15 months

later because he was a stubborn guy my

dad told me for the first time in my

memory that he loved me he told me he

was proud of me and he started asking my

advice now trained as a psychologist as

a marital family therapist I was glad to

offer advice and here's how he asked it

son one of my sales peoples got a

problem I wonder if that psychological

might be useful

it turned out it was his response was

well I'll be that B s really works I

will tell you this for ten years I had

the kind of dad I always wanted because

I was shaping myself to be the man I

truly wish to be from age 32 to 42 my

dad and I he was my best friend he died

suddenly at age 68 but as I stood by his

graveside just like by the bedside of

that veteran in the VA hospital there

was only gratitude grace and

appreciation I felt blessed so the seven

acts of courage applied to this was the

courage to dream of a different way of

relating to my father

in spite of the past history in my own

self doubts the courage to see the

current reality how I was contributing

to the problem the courage to confront

myself my stinking thinking even to

confront my father but with love and

respect the courage to be confronted

without defending or trying to prove I

was right the courage to learn and grow

to take emotional risks the courage to

be vulnerable to the love of the longing

I sought to express and finally the

courage to take action in the moment

informed by those other six acts so I

urge you to take a look at these seven

acts and pick out the one or two you've

least developed because those one or two

that you least developed is where you

trip yourself up

they are the Achilles heel that will

keep you limping through life at the

beginning of this talk I said that daily

acts of courage will serve to develop

the cardiovascular system of your soul

so how is the cardiovascular system of

your soul doing because if your heart is

not as grace-filled if you're not

filling all of the love and all the joy

and the deep meaning you want then small

daily acts of courage will make a

significant difference I think that is

an idea worth sharing