Here is what we've been hiding from you...

Summary

In this heartfelt video, content creator 'Pamat' and her boyfriend Edward open up about the struggles they faced during the first years of their relationship, including cultural differences and the pressure of maintaining a long-distance relationship. They candidly share their initial decision to keep their relationship private due to Edward's work situation and the challenges of balancing public perception with personal privacy. The couple discusses how they overcame these obstacles, emphasizing the importance of communication and self-improvement. They also reflect on the role of social media in their lives, highlighting the contrast between the curated online image and the reality of their journey.

Takeaways

• 😀 The couple, Piam and Edward, have been dating for three years and have kept their relationship private initially.
• 🎭 Edward is part of a group called Cantomando, and being the first to start dating in the group influenced their decision to keep the relationship low-key.
• 🌐 They experienced a long-distance relationship in the first year, which limited their opportunities to share moments on social media.
• 🤳 Edward prefers to keep his private life separate from social media, which initially caused tension as Piam felt more open about their relationship.
• 💔 They faced cultural differences that led to misunderstandings and disagreements, especially regarding expectations in their relationship.
• 👥 Both partners had to learn and communicate about each other's cultural expectations, which was a significant challenge early in their relationship.
• 😢 They considered breaking up due to the struggles, particularly the unmet expectations and cultural clashes.
• 🏡 Interestingly, family dynamics and religion were not issues for them, and they got along well with each other's parents.
• 📱 Social media only shows a partial truth, and they want to use their platform to share both the positive and negative aspects of their relationship.
• 🎥 Piam enjoys creating content, but the pressure to film during travels can sometimes detract from the experience.

Q & A

Why did the couple initially keep their relationship a secret?

They kept their relationship a secret initially due to Edward's work situation as part of a group called Cantomando, the challenges of being in a long-distance relationship, and their personal preference for keeping private life separate from social media.

How long have Pama and Edward been dating?

Pama and Edward have been dating for 3 years.

What is the name of the group Edward is a part of?

Edward is a part of a group called Cantomando.

How did cultural differences affect their relationship?

Cultural differences affected their relationship by causing misunderstandings and disagreements over expectations and what is considered acceptable behavior, especially in the early stages of their relationship.

What is an example of a cultural difference that caused a conflict between them?

An example of a cultural difference causing conflict was Edward's interaction with girls he had a past with on social media, which was perceived differently due to their cultural backgrounds.

Why did Pama feel bothered by not being public about their relationship?

Pama felt bothered because she felt like she was being public about their relationship, while Edward was keeping it more private, which felt secretive to her.

What is Edward's perspective on social media sharing of personal life?

Edward prefers to keep his private life separate from social media and is not a big fan of sharing private things with everyone.

How do they view social media in terms of representing their relationship?

They view social media as showing only one side of the truth, mainly the positive moments and accomplishments, without showing the struggles and negative aspects they've been through.

What was one of the major struggles they faced in their relationship?

One of the major struggles they faced was dealing with cultural differences and the expectations they had of each other, which led to some rough times and even considerations of breaking up.

How do they plan to use their social media platform moving forward?

They plan to use their social media platform to inspire couples like them by being transparent about their story, showcasing the beauty of Arab and Chinese cultures, and ensuring every video has a purpose.

What was the turning point that made them decide to share their relationship with the public?

The turning point was when they felt comfortable and realized that sharing their relationship could inspire others and provide a more complete picture of their lives together.

How did they handle the judgment from others regarding their cultural differences?

They handled judgment by keeping their struggles private and learning to communicate more effectively about their expectations and cultural norms to better understand each other.

What role does social media play in their life as content creators?

Social media plays a significant role as it is a tool for them to keep track of their life, create content, and share their experiences, but it also comes with challenges like balancing filming and enjoying real-life moments.

Outlines

00:00

😀 Secret Start to a Public Romance

In this paragraph, the couple, Pama and Edward, reveal their initial decision to keep their relationship a secret due to Edward's work situation as part of a group called Cantomando. They explain the challenges they faced in the early stages of their relationship, including cultural differences and the complexities of being in a long-distance relationship. They also discuss the importance of sharing about their relationship on social media and how it was a point of contention for Pama, who felt like she was being more public about their relationship than Edward. The couple shares their journey from being secretive to becoming more open with their followers, highlighting the growth and learning process they underwent.

05:01

😔 Clashing Expectations and Cultural Differences

This paragraph delves into the couple's struggles with differing cultural expectations, particularly in the early stages of their relationship. They discuss how their backgrounds, with Pama being Asian-American and Edward from a Middle Eastern culture, led to misunderstandings and disagreements. An example given involves Edward's interactions with past romantic interests on social media, which were seen as harmless by him but as inappropriate by Pama. The couple emphasizes the need for clear communication to navigate these cultural differences and establish shared expectations, which was a challenging but necessary process for the health of their relationship.

10:03

🌍 Embracing Cultural Richness and Social Media's Role

In the final paragraph, the couple reflects on the positive aspects of their cultural differences, such as getting along well with each other's families and not having issues with religion. They also address the perception of social media, stating that while it may not be 'fake,' it does only show a portion of one's truth, often the positive aspects. The couple acknowledges the challenges of balancing content creation with enjoying real-life experiences, particularly during travels. They express their desire to use their platform to inspire others, share the beauty of their respective cultures, and be transparent about their journey, including both the joys and struggles they face.

Keywords

💡Cultural Differences

Cultural differences refer to the variations in norms, values, and behaviors that arise from the distinct social and ethnic backgrounds of individuals. In the video, this concept is central to the couple's narrative as they navigate the challenges in their relationship due to their distinct cultural backgrounds. For example, they discuss how certain actions, such as interacting with ex-partners on social media, are perceived differently across cultures, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.

💡Secret Relationship

A secret relationship is one that is kept hidden from the public or certain groups of people. The couple in the video initially chose to keep their relationship private, which is a key point in their story. They mention that being secretive was partly due to Edward's work situation as a member of a public group, and also because they were in a long-distance relationship, which naturally limited the opportunities for public displays of their relationship.

💡Long-Distance Relationship

A long-distance relationship is a romantic relationship where the partners are geographically separated by a significant distance. The video script highlights this as a factor that contributed to their decision to keep their relationship under wraps initially, as being physically apart reduced the frequency of their interactions and the opportunities to share moments on social media.

💡Expectations

Expectations in a relationship refer to the beliefs and anticipations that partners have about each other's behavior and the relationship dynamics. The video discusses how unmet or unspoken expectations due to cultural differences led to conflicts. For instance, the couple had to learn and adjust to each other's expectations regarding interactions with past romantic interests.

💡Social Media

Social media is a term that encompasses online platforms that enable users to create and share content or participate in social networking. In the context of the video, social media plays a dual role: it is both a platform for the couple to share their lives and a source of stress as they grapple with the pressure to constantly create content, which sometimes detracts from their personal experiences.

💡Content Creator

A content creator is an individual who generates various forms of content, such as videos, blogs, or social media posts, often for an audience or followers. The video's subjects identify as content creators, and they discuss the challenges of balancing the desire to document their lives with the need to enjoy their experiences without the interference of filming.

💡Communication

Communication is the process of exchanging information, ideas, or feelings. In the video, the couple emphasizes the importance of open and honest communication in overcoming their initial struggles, particularly those stemming from cultural differences. Effective communication allowed them to understand and reconcile their differing expectations.

💡Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution refers to the process of addressing and resolving disagreements or disputes. The video script illustrates the couple's journey in resolving conflicts, especially those arising from cultural misunderstandings. They had to navigate through these issues by discussing their perspectives and finding common ground.

💡Love Language

Love language is a concept that refers to the ways in which people express and perceive love. In the video, one partner mentions that posting about each other on social media is a form of love language for them, signifying that they are in a committed relationship and wish to acknowledge their partner publicly.

💡Public Image

Public image is the impression or perception that the public has about a person or entity. The couple discusses the importance of maintaining a positive public image and the challenges of managing their private struggles while being in the public eye. They also touch upon the pressure of presenting a flawless image on social media.

💡Transparency

Transparency in this context refers to the openness and honesty with which the couple shares their experiences and struggles with their audience. They express a desire to be transparent about the difficulties they faced in their relationship to inspire and connect with others who may be going through similar situations.

Highlights

Cultural differences played a significant role in the couple's relationship struggles.

The couple, Piam and Edward, kept their relationship a secret initially due to Edward's work situation with the group Cantomando.

Long-distance nature of their relationship affected the frequency of social media sharing about each other.

Piam felt that Edward was keeping their relationship too private, which was a point of contention.

Expectations and their establishment were a major source of conflict, especially due to cultural misunderstandings.

An example of a cultural clash involved Edward's interaction with past romantic interests on social media.

Both partners had to navigate unspoken cultural norms that affected their relationship dynamics.

The couple considered breaking up due to the difficulties in managing cultural differences and expectations.

Piam struggled with expressing her concerns about their relationship due to fear of being judged.

Despite the struggles, the couple found support in each other's families and did not face issues with religion.

Social media's portrayal of relationships often omits the challenges and conflicts faced by couples.

The couple aims to use their platform to inspire others by sharing their authentic story, including the difficulties.

Piam's love for content creation sometimes interferes with enjoying experiences, leading to discussions about the balance.

Edward's perspective on the importance of having a purpose behind creating content, especially travel vlogs.

The couple's desire to showcase and educate about Arab and Chinese cultures through their channel.

The video concludes with a reflection on the value of overcoming relationship struggles and the importance of hard work in maintaining a relationship.

Transcripts

a lot of it had to do with our cultural

differences don't you think I'm about

bad things no no you got judged people

didn't know we were dating for the first

bit of our relationship but there's a

reason for that hi guys welcome back to

my channel I'm pamat and this is my

boyfriend Edward hello if you're new

here how long have we been dating for

we've been dating for 3 years actually 3

years of dating yes but in those 3 years

together we've kept a lot from the

public ooh dramatic you know everyone

thinks that everything's just been

smooth sailing and so easy for us but

we've actually been through some pretty

dark times and today we feel like we're

comfortable sharing some of those

struggles with you guys and the hope it

inspires whoever is struggling or just

let you in on some gossip here okay

struggling people or nosy people or

noisy people yeah we're we're going to

spell the T

yeah I've actually prepared a list of

questions to help us break down those um

struggles so the first question is why

did we keep our relationship

secret when we first came out they're

like you guys have been two years

together a year and a half there's no

way like it was a big shock for all of

our followers people didn't know we were

dating for the first bit of our

relationship yeah but there's a reason

for that the first major reason is uh

Edward work situation so Edward is part

of a group called cantomando it's a

three guys group yeah and when we first

started dating we were the first to

start dating it was just one of those

things where because I was in the public

eye all the time I just didn't know

whether or not it made sense to kind of

show everyone like hey here's my

girlfriend whatever but eventually that

uh didn't become a problem anymore so we

just went went ahead and did that there

was one video where all of our

girlfriends were shown in video together

for the first time that was a it was a

cheap verus expensive date video and uh

it was pretty far in so technically it

was basically a secret for a year and a

half the second reason mhm is that uh we

were in a longdistance

relationship at first for the for the

first year being in a long-distance

relationship meant the opportunities of

us sharing about moments on social media

are more rare than the average person

just because we're not seeing each other

quite frequently right less

opportunities less opportunities to to

post about each other if if for example

if they're not always around you it's

hard to include them in a lot of stories

and stuff and especially if you're

living with other people and there may

be other girls and you might tag them as

well just being longdistance makes it

harder to post about the other person

unless you're going to make like a

dedicated post like I miss you baby or

something like that like 4 months

without seeing you and that was a bit

too cheesy you like you didn't do that

also I'm not sure if this is applicable

for Pia but personally I like to keep my

private life very separate from oh yeah

that's true from from uh like social

media social media so I'm not that big

of a fan of sharing like you know my

these private things with everybody but

uh over time you know I saw that it

meant a lot to this relationship and it

meant a lot to Pia as well so funny that

that used to bother me a lot it really

really bothered her yeah it really

bothered me because I was the one who

felt like I'm being public about our

relationship and Edward even though it

was Private for him but it felt it was

secretive like he's keeping it a secret

well I wasn't trying to keep it a secret

but I can see why pa would feel that way

and uh especially it's like almost two

years in you know I can see why she

would feel that way and now nowadays I

feel like you know if I see a couple I

don't see them on each other's profiles

I'm like hm what's going on what's going

on here you know

like yeah I see it's more of a love

language you know how some people words

of affirmation is a thing or quality

time is a thing I feel posing about the

other person is a love language in my in

my honest opinion at least for me is it

because you want to be shown off right

it's not shown off it's just like hey

I'm taken don't come nearby I'm taken

literally yeah it's saying I'm taken at

least at least a picture just to let

people know that you know there's

someone in your life so yeah question

now next question have we ever thought

of breaking

up ooh

I'll I'll go ahead and say it

first I have at the very beginning of

our relationship as the relationship

went on he you stop acting like you

don't know

interesting relationship went on things

got like improved a lot

but I would say the start is when we had

the clashes I think a lot of it had to

do with our cultural

differences okay yeah before everyone

jumps in on that and being like

that's because you guys your parents

didn't approve or you guys come from

different religions let me tell you it's

not the case okay we are actually very

blessed that we got lucky on this part

but we actually fought

over how do I say it's like the the

expectations the expectations what kind

of expectations we had of each other in

the going through the different stages

of our relationship for example like

there's there's certain things that you

uh well you're from Middle Eastern

culture and then I would say I'm Asian

American culture which is actually more

American than Asian really so there's

certain things that you think are um as

an American you're like oh that's okay

that that's that's not that bad you know

that's not considered Unfaithful or you

know cheating or anything like that um

but then it might be sensitive to

someone from your culture and then vice

versa right so do do you want to give

examples um give example oh okay here's

an example okay for example example uh

one thing was maybe like girls that I

have hooked up with before or had some

kind of past thing continuing to engage

with their Instagram posts and stuff you

know like before I'm like well that's

not a big deal you know I just like to

picture of girl cuz my finger slipped or

like it's just it's just like this you

know like but then but then I the more

we we fought so we had a big fight about

this but then I I ended up seeing her

point I'm like you know what I I

probably wouldn't want her to do the

same thing yeah yeah that's a that's a

very prime example you gave like

interacting with uh

people he hooked up with but this all

comes back to culture right it's like

the unspoken element the unspoken

element yeah this is a thing it's just

but for me it was like a no-brainer like

how could you do that like you're

literally hinting at them especially

Especial because I know how girls think

even though that's maybe not what your

intention is but that could be perceived

in a certain way for that person or they

would think that you're they're you're

opening up a chance for them to engage

with you again and all of those things I

had to like explain myself and was the

thing about expectations especially is

that because they haven't been

established so you only going to discuss

them when they happen and you don't

discuss everything all at once so I say

that in incident happened happened and

then it happens again in the future nuan

differently and then we have to bring up

the topic again and so this is why the

the start of our relationship was very

rough is

because we we kept learning about each

other's expectations we just needed to

learn what kind of expectations we had

from each other and a lot of that comes

from cultural differences you know if I

think if we were from the same culture

it would be e easy to follow the same

unspoken and these things would never

need to be brought up yeah but because

we're from different cultures you have

to communicate you have need you need a

lot more communication because a lot of

these expectation things were going to

pop up over and over again so that's

what made it very rough at the beginning

and led to some of the times where we

almost consider break we did consider

breaking up it's very hard to explain

this because I feel like most of the

times when I um I bring this up with

anyone

are you about to

cry okay time to

cut don't you think about bad things no

no it's fine what's that

matter know it's just that you got

judged thinking

that you you successfully prevented the

makeup from being

ruined it it takes a lot of skill to not

cry when you're about to cry so yeah the

biggest struggle was dealing with that

at first but could not really express it

to anyone because you're afraid of being

judged by thinking that you're very

conservative or

traditional sorry let let take a moment

for

my tears to dry so let's so we're in a

much better place now yeah yeah yeah no

no absolutely absolutely I'm just I

wanted to like shut light on the

struggles for someone

who uh I mean it was definitely hard for

Edward absolutely I'm not just taking

that away but I'm in that culture it's

not like Edward is in Lebanon and he's

dealing with that so I'm in this culture

I'm this in in this pool of culture yeah

maybe you just didn't have someone to

talk to about these things yeah I didn't

like I didn't have someone to talk to

about these things so I had to deal with

this by myself I even didn't know if it

was proper for me to bring it up with

Edward

because um I didn't know it was if it it

was right for me to say it I I always

felt like I have to just accept the way

it is because this is the culture I'm in

right now also also p is very protective

of not say telling our our bad things to

anyone else so she you know she always

tries to protect the way that we are you

know she protects our reputation so it

makes it even harder for her it bottles

everything in but you know that's why we

went through this learning process so we

can become who we are now and we're a

lot better for each other given

everything it's better to go through

that the beginning then for that to come

up later in a relationship that's true

for us to actually overcome these and

still work on ourself that shows a lot

of determination that we really want

this to work um not everything is easy

yeah but not not everything is easy for

sure but the good things the good things

sometimes require a lot of work

that's true on the other hand on a

positive note what we had no trouble

with so funny coming from different

backgrounds is like for family Dynamics

like I'm I got really I got along very

well with his mom he gets along very

well with my parents M even like

religion is not um a problem for us so

yeah anyway third and final question is

social media fake

I don't think social media is fake but

social media shows one truth and one

truth

only you know yeah it doesn't show the

entire Story shows half the story not

even half like what are you sharing true

and when are you sharing you're sharing

your positive moments you're sharing

your you know your accomplishments

you're sharing it's just the nature of

social media well with us it's like what

what do you we show on social media we

show the happy side of us in

relationship and now that we've talked

about kind of the negatives that we've

been through um you can see that you

know there for every happy side there

also is like a flip side it's just

whether or not you decide is it worth it

you know and this relationship has been

very worth it for us just you guys

haven't seen the negative side that's

true like for me

honestly I use social media it's a tool

for me to just keep track of my my life

I love filming I love editing I love

creating content it's always something I

love it's like my love language but the

downside of it especially when you

become um content creator is that you

have to do it uhoh sorry my alarm

especially when we travel um and you

have to film it sometimes gets in the

way of actually enjoying the trip oh

yeah um we actually had talks about this

and arguments about this like for

example a recent trip to Italy for me I

want it's okay I want her to tell me hey

these are the scenes we need we're done

filming okay put it away but then she

wanted to kind of film everything just

in case she needed it right that's the

problem okay this is this is the thing

about especially travel Vlogs is that

you don't know what you're going to end

up using this is why my Kenya Vlog I

told Ed it's going to be my last Vlog

that I'm just going to have no purpose

behind it and just collectively just

film the whole thing um I I told I told

him I'm retiring that uh just

be okay there's a celebration that

you're retiring that or it's like hey

don't retire that moving forward I want

every video to have a purpose I want to

inspire

couples Like Us by telling our story by

by being transparent with you guys I

want to also showcase the beauty of Arab

culture and Chinese culture I think

there's a lot to share about those two

beautiful cultures and this is what I

want to be able to do on this channel

that's cool I'm excited to see yeah I

hope you guys are excited to see as well

anyway I hope this tells you a little

bit about us and if you want to keep

supporting just make sure you like this

video subscribe to my channel and I'll

see you next time

bye happy 3 years

happy guess I thought you read my mind