From stress to resilience | Raphael Rose | TEDxManhattanBeach

Summary

In this insightful talk, a clinical psychologist from UCLA discusses resilience in the face of stress and failure, drawing parallels between the challenges faced by astronauts and everyday individuals. The speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing failure as a means to build resilience, suggesting that meaningful pursuits, gradual behavior changes, and self-compassion are key to overcoming stress and enhancing well-being.

Takeaways

• 🚀 Failure is an integral part of resilience and is necessary for personal growth.
• 🧠 Resilience is the ability to face life's stressors, bounce back, and recover, enriching one's life in the process.
• 👨‍🚀 Astronauts, like many others, experience stress related to relationships, family, and work, highlighting commonalities in stress across different environments.
• 💔 Chronic stress can have detrimental effects on health and well-being, including lowered immune functioning and memory issues.
• 🌟 People differ in their ability to manage stress and exhibit resilience, and we can learn from those who are more resilient.
• 🤔 Suppression of thoughts related to stress is not an effective strategy; attempting not to think about something can actually draw more attention to it.
• 🌈 Resilient individuals tend to have certain personality traits such as positivity, openness to new experiences, and strong social connections.
• 🔍 The science of training resilience is still developing, but understanding the characteristics of resilient individuals can guide us in building resilience.
• 🏆 Engaging in challenging activities, even if they lead to mistakes and failure, provides opportunities to learn and build resilience.
• 👨‍👧‍👦 Personal stories of resilience, such as the speaker's father who survived the Holocaust, demonstrate the power of rebounding and recovery from adversity.
• 🛠 Behavior change is more likely to succeed when it is approached gradually and with compassion for oneself.
• 🌍 Astronauts manage stress by engaging in meaningful activities, such as taking photos of Earth, which can help shift focus away from stressors.

Q & A

What is the main topic of the speaker's talk?

The main topic of the speaker's talk is resilience, specifically how to develop and promote resilience in the face of stress and failure.

What does the speaker do for a living?

The speaker is a researcher and a clinical psychologist at UCLA, working with NASA on stress and resilience research.

What is the speaker's stance on the phrase 'failure is not an option'?

The speaker argues that failure is not only an option but is required to promote resilience, as it provides opportunities to learn and bounce back.

What are some common stressors that astronauts face while in space?

Astronauts face stressors such as power failures, meteor strikes, explosions, and concerns about their family and personal life back on Earth.

How does the speaker describe the impact of chronic stress on an individual's health and well-being?

Chronic stress can be detrimental to health and well-being, associated with lowered immune functioning, memory issues, and cardiac problems.

What personality traits and factors are associated with resilient individuals according to the speaker?

Resilient individuals are more likely to experience positive emotions, are open to new experiences, outgoing, and have strong social connections and integration.

What does the speaker suggest as a strategy to become more resilient?

The speaker suggests engaging in meaningful pursuits, embracing challenges, and learning from mistakes and failures as strategies to build resilience.

What is the significance of the 'white bear' example in the talk?

The 'white bear' example illustrates the ineffectiveness of thought suppression as a strategy for dealing with stress, showing that trying not to think about something can actually draw more attention to it.

How does the speaker's father's experience relate to the concept of resilience?

The speaker's father, a Holocaust survivor, demonstrated the ultimate ability to rebound and recover from extraordinary circumstances, embodying the concept of resilience.

What are two key pieces of advice the speaker gives for behavior change to promote resilience?

The speaker advises to make slow and gradual changes and to be compassionate with oneself, avoiding self-criticism, to promote resilience through behavior change.

What does the speaker suggest as a meaningful activity that astronauts use to manage stress in space?

The speaker suggests that astronauts manage stress by looking at Earth and taking photos, engaging in a meaningful activity that allows them to focus away from stressors.

Outlines

00:00

💪 Resilience: Embracing Failure as a Necessity

The speaker introduces the concept of resilience, emphasizing that failure is not just an option but a requirement for building resilience. Drawing from their experience as a researcher at UCLA and collaborator with NASA, they highlight that resilience involves facing stressors and challenges, learning from mistakes, and rebounding from failures. The speaker also shares that astronauts, despite their unique challenges in space, experience stress similar to our daily lives, particularly concerning relationships and monotonous tasks.

05:03

😌 The Power of Resilience: Traits and Examples

This section delves into the personality traits and behaviors that contribute to resilience. Resilient individuals are more likely to experience positive emotions and are open to new experiences and social connections. The speaker uses the example of a high school senior taking on various challenges to illustrate how resilience is built through facing difficulties, making mistakes, and learning to recover. They also share a personal story about their father, a Holocaust survivor, who embodied resilience by finding meaning and positivity in life after extraordinary hardships.

10:05

🧠 Behavior Change: Small Steps and Self-Compassion

The speaker discusses the challenges of behavior change, advocating for a slow and gradual approach. They emphasize the importance of setting manageable goals, like flossing one tooth to build better habits gradually. The speaker also highlights the role of self-compassion in sustaining behavior change, noting that being kind to oneself when setbacks occur can enhance resilience. They provide practical advice, such as the five-minute exercise rule, to help incorporate positive changes without feeling overwhelmed.

🌍 Finding Meaning to Manage Stress

In the final section, the speaker shares insights from astronauts who manage stress by engaging in meaningful activities, like photographing Earth from space. They stress that focusing on meaningful pursuits, rather than just trying to reduce stress, can shift attention away from stressors and promote resilience. The speaker encourages the audience to find their paths to resilience through activities that bring joy and meaning, and to embrace challenges, learn from mistakes, and celebrate accomplishments as part of their personal missions.

Keywords

💡Resilience

Resilience is the ability to bounce back and recover from life's stressors and challenges. It is central to the video's theme, emphasizing the importance of facing and learning from mistakes and failures. The speaker, a clinical psychologist, discusses resilience in the context of NASA's work environment, where failure is often seen as a necessary part of promoting resilience.

💡Stress

Stress is a psychological and physical strain in response to demands or pressures. The video highlights how stress is a common factor in various challenging environments, including space and everyday life. It is used to illustrate the need for resilience, as it is a force that resilient individuals learn to manage effectively.

💡Failure

Failure is the act of not achieving a desired outcome or falling short of a goal. The video script challenges the notion that failure should be avoided at all costs, instead positing that embracing failure is essential for building resilience. It is exemplified by the speaker's father, a Holocaust survivor, who demonstrated the ability to rebound from extraordinary circumstances.

💡Challenges

Challenges are difficult tasks or obstacles that require overcoming. The video uses the concept of challenges to discuss the development of resilience, suggesting that engaging with challenges, even when they lead to mistakes or failure, is a pathway to growth and learning.

💡Mistakes

Mistakes are errors or incorrect actions. The script emphasizes that making mistakes is not only inevitable but also valuable for developing resilience. It encourages the audience to learn from their mistakes rather than to avoid them.

💡Rebound

To rebound means to recover quickly from a setback or misfortune. The video uses this term to describe a key aspect of resilience, the ability to recover from failures and move forward. The concept is exemplified through the story of the speaker's father and the high school senior's various endeavors.

💡Meaningful Pursuits

Meaningful pursuits are activities or goals that hold personal significance and contribute to a sense of purpose. The video suggests that engaging in meaningful pursuits can help individuals manage stress and promote resilience by focusing attention away from stressors and towards something of value.

💡Behavior Change

Behavior change refers to the process of altering one's actions or habits. The speaker discusses the importance of gradual and compassionate behavior change for building resilience, using the example of flossing one tooth to illustrate the concept of starting small and being kind to oneself when setbacks occur.

💡Compassion

Compassion is the feeling of empathy and concern for others' suffering, often extended to oneself. The video emphasizes the role of self-compassion in resilience, suggesting that being kind to oneself when failing or making mistakes can facilitate recovery and promote further attempts at behavior change.

💡Astronauts

Astronauts are individuals trained to travel in space. The video uses astronauts as an example of professionals who face extreme stress and must develop resilience. It also highlights a unique coping mechanism used by astronauts, which is looking at Earth and taking photos, as a way to engage in meaningful activities that help manage stress.

💡Gradual Change

Gradual change is the process of making small, incremental adjustments over time. The video advocates for this approach to behavior change, suggesting that starting with small steps, such as flossing one tooth or exercising for five minutes, increases the likelihood of success and sustainability.

Highlights

Resilience is the ability to face life's stressors and challenges, bounce back, and recover, enriching your life in the process.

Failure is not only an option but required to promote resilience.

Astronauts deal with stressors similar to those on Earth, such as relationships, family, and work demands.

Chronic stress can be detrimental to health and well-being, linked to lowered immune functioning and memory/cardiac problems.

Some people manage stress better and are more resilient; we can learn from their strategies.

Suppression is an ineffective strategy for dealing with stress - trying not to think about a stressor makes it more salient.

Resilient individuals tend to experience more positive emotions and less negative emotions.

Resilient people are open to new experiences, outgoing, and have strong social connections.

Becoming resilient is not simple; it involves more nuanced factors than just happiness and social connections.

Engaging in challenging activities can lead to growth, positive emotions, and new social connections, even if they result in failure.

The speaker's father, a Holocaust survivor, exemplifies resilience through rebounding and recovering from extraordinary circumstances.

Behavior change for resilience should be slow and gradual to increase the likelihood of success and sustainability.

Compassion towards oneself is crucial for effective behavior change and resilience building.

Exercise is a great way to promote resilience, but starting with small, manageable changes like a five-minute rule can be more effective.

Astronauts manage stress by engaging in meaningful activities like taking photos of Earth, which helps them move beyond challenges.

Finding and pursuing meaningful activities can help promote resilience by focusing attention away from stressors.

The speaker encourages embracing stress, taking on challenges, learning from mistakes, being compassionate, rebounding from failure, and enjoying accomplishments as paths to resilience.

Transcripts

[Music]

[Music]

stress mistakes failure clearly I'm here

to give the feel-good talk of the day

I'm actually here to talk about

resilience as a researcher and a

clinical psychologist at UCLA I've been

working with NASA on stress and

resilience research for over 10 years

the very same NASA that has the

expression failure is not an option

associated with it well I'm here to tell

you today that not only is failure an

option it is required to promote

resilience resilience means you face

life stressors and challenges and you

bounce back and recover and in doing so

you can enrich your life so whether you

work at NASA or your job as a high

school student being resilient means you

face stressors not eliminate them to be

resilient means you learn from your

mistakes not avoid making them and to be

resilient means your rebound from

failure so any mistakes made during

today's presentation is all done in the

name of resilience do you know what

astronauts report is among the most

stressful things they deal with when

they're up in space a power failure a

meteor strike an explosion an alien

attack no that's how their kids and

family are doing back on earth without

them interestingly when it comes to

stress we are a lot more like astronauts

and other people who work in challenging

environments than you might think

astronauts well they're up in space can

worry about their relationships their

spouses and how their kids are doing

in school just like we do astronauts can

have conflicts with coworkers just like

we do they get stressed by health and

finances in space astronauts report that

the demands of their job and at times

the monotony of their job is among the

most stressful things they have to deal

with hmm

conflicts with peers stressful and at

other times boring work that sounds a

lot like high school to me a key aspect

of chronic stress is that it can be like

like relationships health problems or

work stress is that if you're not coping

well with it it can be detrimental to

your health and well-being chronic

stress can is associated with lowered

immune functioning chronic stress is

associated with memory and cardiac

problems good thing I remember that the

good news is that people manage stress

better than others and they are more

resilient and we can look to them to see

what they're doing well so how do you

become more resilient well still working

on that answer but first let's talk

about what does not seem to promote

resilience stress can really hijack your

brain it can really grab your attention

you ever try to avoid thinking about the

thing you're stressed about try to

distract yourself even suppress the

thought or image of whatever is

stressing you well to highlight that

idea I like all of you please now to

think about anything you want think

about anything you want but not a white

bear think about anything you want but

not a white bear go ahead

how'd that go did trying to suppress the

image work generally speaking

suppression is not an effective strategy

and while a white bear might not be a

stressful image for you it highlights

the point that when we try not to think

about something it brings our attention

more to that very thing

so if suppression isn't a good strategy

how can we become more resilient well

here's what we know about resilient

individuals associated with certain

personality traits and factors resilient

individuals are more likely to

experience positive effects so things

like happiness joy pleasure contentment

they're also less likely to experience

negative emotions like anxiety fear

sadness moodiness human jealousy

resilient individuals are open to new

experiences outgoing they embrace

challenges resilient individuals are oh

Solis are so socially connected and

integrated so to be more resilient just

be happy and have lots of friends it's

not that simple and like most things in

life the answer is more nuanced than

that so how do we become more resilient

the science on training resilience is

still relatively young but if we look to

what we know makes up resilient

individuals it can point us in some

important directions let's take the

example of a high school senior she

signs up for a challenging math class

she joins the debate team she volunteers

at a homeless shelter in her community

and she asked someone out to the prom

any and all of those experiences can

lead to meaningful and to growth and

more meaningful experiences it can lead

to positive emotions and it can also

lead to new social connections and

relationships she can improve her math

skills she can win the debate

competition she can feel pride at giving

back to her community and she can build

a new relation

and each and every one of those things

can result in mistakes and

disappointments failure even rejection

she fails a math class loses the debate

competition is turned down by her

potential prom date feels overwhelmed at

the state of things in our community

however even those undesirable outcomes

provide her the opportunity to learn how

to rebound and recover better from

stress and therefore promote resilience

well I didn't think about this while I

was growing up my first model for

resilience was my father my father was a

Holocaust survivor and he spent four

years of his life in concentration camps

doing slave labor and he was the only

member of his family to survive my

father sort of demonstrated the ultimate

ability to rebound and recover from

extraordinary circumstances he found

passion and starting a family after he

immigrated to the US he found dedication

and commitment to his career as an

engineer he never missed an opportunity

to be out on the tennis courts with

buddies and his off-color humor was his

example of positivity so we see an

example of the high school senior and we

see an example of my father how facing

life's challenges and pursuing meaning

can help promote resilience for most of

us modifying what we do to pursue more

meaning means changing something about

our behavior it also means finding the

time to do it now I'm in the behavior

change business essentially and it's not

the easiest thing to do so here are two

things to keep in mind when it comes to

behavior change slow and gradual

behavior change is more likely to

succeed and last often when we try to

undertake behavior change it seems too

overwhelming a task and we shortly fail

or give up

how many of you think flossing after

each meal is good how many of you make

the time to floss after each meal some

hands dropped so for those of you that

want to improve your flossing behavior

and to highlight this idea of slow and

gradual change I want all of you to

floss one tooth tonight anyone can floss

a tooth now I'm not saying the idea here

is to have the healthiest molar in the

history of dentistry but rather that it

highlights the idea that when we commit

to a manageable behavior change it makes

it more likely that we'll do it and then

once we start it's more likely we can go

out to the next tooth and the next tooth

but start with just one second thing

that's important when it comes to

behavior change is compassion be

compassionate to yourself don't be

self-critical behavior change is more

likely to be effective if you take that

stance how many of you think daily

exercise is important how many of you

exercise daily all right well exercise

is actually a great way to promote

resilience it can man it helps you

manage emotions helps improve cognition

helps your body heal and recover but

usually taking undertaking an exercise

regimen

can seem daunting and many people either

don't start or give up shortly after

starting think gradual change and try

the five-minute rule do any kind of

exercise for five minutes so it won't

have you running a marathon tomorrow but

it can have you walking around the block

and this is the crucial part when you

change your behavior and when you slip

up and change in your behavior and you

missed that walk be compassionate go

easy on yourself if yourself if you're

if you're self-critical you're more

likely to feel down and as a result

you're going to be less likely to think

you can actually change yourself you

change your behavior try a stance of

being compassionate so when you miss

that walk or that exercise excuse

yourself and see that you might be more

likely to rebound the next day and go on

that walk and if you are doing that you

are rebounding and recovering and

promoting resilience do you know what

astronauts say is among the most helpful

things they do for managing stress when

they're up in space they look at Earth

and they take photos of it now is it

that looking at our planet actually

reduces stress

well it's certainly relaxing but more

importantly it allows them to engage in

something meaningful and when they're

engaged in something meaningful that can

help them move beyond a particularly

challenging day engaging in something

meaningful can help them move beyond a

conflict for the time being that they

might have had with a co-worker it's a

subtle but important distinction but

doing something for the joy it brings as

opposed to it lowering your stress can

allow your attention to focus more on

the meaningful pursuit and the more your

attention is on a meaningful pursuit the

less it is focused on stressors like a

white bear so I encourage all of you to

find your paths to resilience through

meaningful pursuits it can be meditation

photography learning a new language

engaging your community more and as you

go on your own missions to Mars

whether that's navigating the 405 and

traffic doing your homework we're trying

to improve your health or your

relationships my message to you is to

welcome stress take on the challenges in

your life learn from your mistakes be

compassionate to yourself and to others

rebound from failure and enjoy your

accomplishments thank you

[Applause]

[Applause]