what women actually find attractive

Summary

The video explores the difference between the male and female gaze, highlighting that women are often attracted to much more than just physical traits. The female gaze focuses on storytelling, confidence, emotional intelligence, and creativity, while men tend to overly simplify attraction to physical attributes. It also explains why women can find different types of men attractive—from muscular, masculine figures to softer, creative ones like artists. Additionally, it debunks common misconceptions about height, income, and status, emphasizing that attraction is multifaceted and personal preferences vary widely.

Takeaways

• 😀 The biggest mistake men make in trying to attract women is using the male gaze, which focuses primarily on physical appearance, rather than the female gaze, which values emotional and story-driven connections.
• 📚 Women are often more attracted to storytelling, creativity, and emotional depth, which is why romance novels and fanfiction are dominated by female audiences.
• 👗 The way a man dresses, carries himself, and behaves communicates a story, which women pick up on and find attractive.
• 💪 While physical appearance matters, women's preferences vary greatly, and they are often attracted to a mix of masculine and feminine features.
• 🤔 The 'black pill' mindset of feeling hopeless due to high standards (like height, wealth, and fitness) is countered by the reality that many women value confidence, security, and charisma over purely physical traits.
• 💁‍♀️ The female gaze is flexible, meaning that initial physical attraction can grow or diminish depending on a man's personality and actions.
• 📏 Women's preferences for height, income, and status are relative; most prefer a man who is slightly taller and earns a bit more than them, rather than strictly adhering to extreme ideals.
• 🍑 Men should focus on finding their niche rather than trying to appeal to everyone. Being universally attractive is unrealistic, and embracing one's unique qualities will attract the right kind of people.
• 💔 Dating apps distort natural attraction because they rely solely on looks, which makes forming genuine connections difficult.
• 😎 Bad boys are attractive not for their rebellious nature, but because they exhibit traits like confidence, self-assurance, and boundary-setting, which are seen as desirable qualities.

Q & A

What is the main difference between the male gaze and the female gaze?

The male gaze tends to focus on physical attractiveness and external qualities, while the female gaze is more story-driven, emphasizing traits like confidence, creativity, and emotional connection.

Why are women attracted to both traditionally masculine men and less stereotypically masculine figures like members of BTS?

Women are attracted to a wide variety of traits beyond physical appearance, such as creativity, emotional depth, and personality. Attraction isn't limited to traditional masculinity; it's influenced by the story a person tells through their actions, looks, and personality.

Why are romance novels and fan fiction so popular among women?

Romance novels and fan fiction appeal to women because they are deeply rooted in storytelling, emotional connection, and the exploration of relationships, all of which align with the female gaze.

What role does body language play in the female gaze?

Body language is crucial in the female gaze as it tells a story about confidence, attitude, and personality. Women often pick up on subtle cues like how a man walks, makes eye contact, or carries himself.

Do looks matter to women, and if so, how do they factor into attraction?

Looks do matter to women, but not in a rigid way. While some features like height, jawline, or physique may be ideal, women's attraction can vary widely, and other factors like confidence and personality can greatly influence how attractive someone is.

What is the 'black pill antidote' discussed in the video?

The 'black pill antidote' refers to observing real-world couples to counter the idea that only tall, fit, and rich men are attractive. In reality, many women are attracted to average men due to a wide range of factors beyond physical appearance, like confidence and personality.

How can a man's physical attractiveness grow over time in the female gaze?

In the female gaze, physical attraction can increase as a woman gets to know a man better. A man may start as 'just okay' physically but can become more attractive as his personality, confidence, and other non-physical traits become apparent.

How do women view traits like height, income, and status when looking for a partner?

Women view traits like height, income, and status in relative terms rather than absolute ones. For instance, a woman might prefer a man who is taller than her, rather than someone who meets a specific height threshold. Similarly, slight differences in income or status can be appealing without needing to reach extreme levels.

Why is it important for men to find their niche instead of trying to appeal to everyone?

It's important for men to embrace their niche because trying to appeal to everyone is ineffective. Different women are attracted to different traits, and focusing on developing qualities that are true to oneself is more likely to attract compatible partners.

What qualities make 'bad boys' attractive to women?

'Bad boys' are attractive because they often display confidence, assertiveness, and independence. These traits, along with a sense of self-validation and the ability to set boundaries, are highly appealing through the female gaze.