Video Feb 28 2024 Final

Wife Coach
19 Sept 202409:20

Summary

TLDRIn this insightful video, life coach April delves into the secrets of a successful marriage, drawing parallels with life's educational journey. She emphasizes the importance of communication, compromise, and shared goals. April highlights that marriages face different challenges at various stages, requiring unique 'keys' to unlock further progress. She candidly discusses common marital issues such as finances, intimacy, and raising children, urging couples to address these early to foster a stronger union. April promises to explore these topics in depth in future videos, inviting viewers to engage with her for personalized advice.

Takeaways

  • 🔑 The key to a successful marriage is multifaceted and evolves over time, much like a timeline in education or career.
  • 💬 Communication is a fundamental key early in marriage, emphasizing the need to learn to live together, compromise, and work through issues.
  • 💰 Finances are a common challenge that can act as a 'key' to unlock progress in a marriage, requiring couples to manage money and bills effectively.
  • 👫 Adapting to living together and letting go of singlehood mindsets are early hurdles that newlyweds must overcome.
  • 🏃‍♀️ Marriage is likened to a marathon, where periods of fatigue and the need to refresh oneself are normal but quitting is not an option.
  • 🤝 Michelle Obama's experience suggests that even in long-lasting marriages, there can be phases of disconnect before finding harmony.
  • 🚫 The purpose of marriage is crucial for understanding that quitting is not an option; it's designed for mutual growth and maturity.
  • 🔍 Identifying patterns and issues in marriage is key to overcoming them and moving forward successfully.
  • 👶 Children, if present, can be a significant area of contention and require careful navigation regarding their upbringing.
  • ⏳ The speaker plans to cover individual topics like communication, finances, sex, beliefs, and children in more depth in future videos.

Q & A

  • What is the main theme of the video script by April, the wife coach?

    -The main theme of the video script is the key to a successful marriage, with April discussing various stages and challenges that couples face throughout their marital journey.

  • How does April describe the timeline of a marriage?

    -April describes the timeline of a marriage as a progression with different intervals or points, similar to the stages of education or professional degrees, where certain milestones must be reached to progress further.

  • What are the initial challenges couples face in their marriage according to April?

    -The initial challenges couples face in their marriage include learning to live together, adapting to one another, and transitioning from a mindset of singlehood to a partnership.

  • What does April consider the first key to a successful marriage?

    -April considers the first key to a successful marriage as learning to communicate effectively with one's spouse, which involves letting go of personal agendas and working together towards common goals.

  • How does April relate marriage to a marathon?

    -April relates marriage to a marathon by emphasizing the need for continuous effort and perseverance, suggesting that just like in a marathon, one must not quit but find ways to refresh and replenish during hardships.

  • What does April suggest about the purpose of marriage when facing obstacles?

    -April suggests that understanding the purpose of marriage is crucial when facing obstacles, as it provides a framework for growth and maturity, discouraging the option to quit.

  • What are the five different areas April mentions that can impact a marriage?

    -The five different areas April mentions that can impact a marriage are communication, finances, sex, beliefs/religion, and children.

  • Why does April emphasize the importance of identifying patterns in a marriage?

    -April emphasizes identifying patterns in a marriage because recognizing and understanding these patterns can help couples overcome issues more quickly, leading to a happier and more successful marriage.

  • What advice does April give regarding the management of finances in a marriage?

    -April advises that couples should learn to manage their finances together, suggesting that keeping separate bank accounts or not communicating about spending can be detrimental to the marriage.

  • How does April plan to address the topics she introduces in the script?

    -April plans to address the topics she introduces in the script by covering them individually in future videos, offering in-depth discussions and answering questions from her audience.

Outlines

00:00

🔑 Keys to a Successful Marriage

In the first paragraph, April, the wife coach, introduces the topic of the video, which is about the key to a successful marriage. She draws an analogy between marriage and education or career progression, suggesting that there are different stages in a marriage with specific challenges and 'keys' that need to be unlocked to progress. April emphasizes that the timeline of a marriage is unique and can vary greatly, but there are common points where certain issues arise that need to be addressed. She identifies early marriage challenges such as learning to live together, adapt to each other, and move beyond the mindset of singlehood. April stresses the importance of communication as the first key to a successful marriage, highlighting that effective communication is crucial for couples to work through their initial obstacles and build a strong foundation for their relationship.

05:02

🏃‍♀️ Running the Marathon of Marriage

In the second paragraph, April continues the discussion on marriage by likening it to a marathon, where one must persist and find ways to refresh and reinvigorate the relationship without quitting. She touches on the importance of understanding the purpose of marriage, which she plans to cover in a future video. April suggests that recognizing patterns and addressing key areas such as communication, finances, sex, beliefs, and children can help couples overcome challenges more effectively. She points out that these areas are often significant contributors to marital discord and divorce. April encourages couples to be proactive in identifying and resolving these issues early on to ensure a more successful and happier marriage. She concludes by inviting viewers to ask questions for further discussion in upcoming videos.

Mindmap

Keywords

💡Marriage

Marriage, as discussed in the video, is presented as a long-term partnership between two individuals who must navigate various stages and challenges over time. The speaker compares it to a timeline, where couples face obstacles at different points and need 'keys' or solutions to overcome them. The longevity and success of a marriage are tied to how well the couple manages these challenges.

💡Timeline

The concept of a timeline is used to illustrate how marriages progress over time. Just like education or professional careers, marriage is seen as a journey with different phases. At each stage, couples encounter unique challenges that require specific solutions to continue successfully in their relationship. The timeline metaphor emphasizes that marriage is an evolving process.

💡Communication

Effective communication is described as one of the most essential 'keys' to a successful marriage. The speaker highlights that learning to communicate well—especially early in marriage—is crucial for understanding and adapting to each other. Miscommunication can lead to misunderstandings and conflict, whereas open, honest dialogue helps resolve issues and strengthens the relationship.

💡Challenges

Challenges in marriage, such as finances, communication, sex, and raising children, are recurring themes throughout the video. These are described as obstacles that couples must work through to keep their marriage strong. Overcoming these challenges involves mutual effort, compromise, and growth, contributing to the overall success of the partnership.

💡Maturity

Maturity is mentioned as an important factor in how couples handle the difficulties of marriage. Depending on when individuals get married and their emotional readiness, the way they address conflicts and work together can vary. The speaker suggests that growth in personal and emotional maturity is necessary for navigating marital challenges successfully.

💡Keys

The 'keys' in marriage represent solutions or strategies that unlock progress during difficult phases. For instance, communication, financial management, or learning to live together are specific 'keys' at different points in a marriage. These keys help couples move past obstacles and continue developing their relationship.

💡Finances

Managing finances is identified as one of the primary sources of conflict in marriage. The speaker mentions how differences in spending habits or financial goals can create tension if not addressed. Establishing a shared approach to managing money is key to reducing financial stress and fostering a healthy partnership.

💡Children

Children are mentioned as another significant factor in marriage, especially when couples must decide how to raise them or navigate blended families from previous relationships. Differences in parenting styles or views on having children can create tension, and addressing these challenges is crucial for maintaining a harmonious marriage.

💡Compromise

Compromise is highlighted as a critical skill for a successful marriage, especially in the early stages. Couples must learn to let go of certain personal preferences and work together to achieve common goals. Without compromise, partners may remain disconnected, focusing on their individual desires rather than the health of the relationship.

💡Marathon

The speaker uses the metaphor of a marathon to describe the endurance required in marriage. Just like a long-distance race, marriage involves highs and lows, with periods of motivation followed by exhaustion. The key message is that giving up is not an option; instead, couples need to find ways to reinvigorate and continue working through difficulties together.

Highlights

The key to a successful marriage is likened to a timeline with different points requiring different keys.

Marriage maturity levels vary and can affect the success of a marriage at different stages.

Early marriage challenges include learning to live together and adapting to one another.

Communication is a key factor in overcoming early marriage obstacles.

The importance of effective communication over simply talking without resolution.

Michelle Obama's perspective on her marriage, highlighting the ebb and flow of marital feelings.

Marriage is compared to a marathon, where one must persevere through fatigue and challenges.

Understanding the purpose of marriage can help couples decide against quitting during hardships.

Identifying patterns in marriage can lead to quicker resolution of issues.

Five key areas to be mindful of in marriage: communication, finances, sex, beliefs, and children.

Communication breakdowns can be a significant cause of marital issues.

Financial disagreements can strain a marriage, emphasizing the need for joint financial planning.

Sexual issues can be a contentious topic in many marriages.

The role of children, including those from previous relationships, in a marriage.

The necessity of addressing key areas proactively for a successful marriage.

The speaker's willingness to delve deeper into specific topics based on audience questions.

Transcripts

play00:17

good morning ladies it's your wife coach

play00:20

April and today I'm going to be covering

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the most asked question that I get oh my

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God and that is what is the key to a

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successful marriage what is the key to

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your marriage how did I survive how did

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I make it to 25 years so that is what

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I'm going to be answering today oh my

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god wow I will say that there are

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several keys to a successful marriage

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and they come at different intervals or

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different points I mean imagine you go

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to school and there's a timeline from

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the time you turn three to 5 years old

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all the way to your 17 18 where you're

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graduating there's a Time online and you

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hit certain points at different times

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likewise for any type of degree if you

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were seeking a doctorate degree a lawyer

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attorney degree accounting degree any of

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those type of degrees to any point it's

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just a timeline you have to go through

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certain things at certain stages to

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reach your ultimate goal I feel that

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that is very akin to relationships and

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marriages your marriage is a timeline we

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don't know the end point of that

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timeline some marriages last 20 years

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and maybe someone the wife or the

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husband dies or some marriages last just

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a couple of years or some marriages can

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last 50 years 72 years I've seen crazy

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numbers okay and myself I'm at my 25

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year mark and the way that you have to

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look at it is the timeline and I think

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that when you hit certain markers there

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is a key for that particular door that's

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going to open it for you and get you

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continue for another 2 to 3 years

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another 5 years and it's largely based

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on when you get married where your

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maturity level is where your spouse's

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maturity level is some of the things

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that you have to overcome if you're

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truly working towards a successful

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marriage or if you have individuals

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working towards themselves gaining for

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themselves and not improving for the

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marriage nevertheless uh marriage is has

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a timeline okay and when you reach

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different points there are certain keys

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that can open

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that can further that marriage along

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early on I think some of the biggest

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challenges in your marriage first when

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you first get marriage is learning to

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just simply live together learning to

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adapt to one another learning to thrive

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with one another and getting out of that

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head space or that era of singlehood or

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just about yourself how you think about

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things how you want things to be all

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those things so the very first key if if

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you will um when you're first married is

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just simply learning to live together

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learning to let go of some things

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learning to compromise learning to have

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conversations about things and work

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together so if you are successful I

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guess the biggest word that or take away

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from that particular door is

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communication learning the ultimate task

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of communicating with one another

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effectively so that you can continue to

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further your relationship so I think

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that's one of the keys that I think most

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marriages can agree to you have to learn

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to communicate but effectively not

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talking over each other's head not

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yelling at one another communicating at

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all just doing what you want and you

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have two individual roommates living

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together and not necessarily working

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together towards a single goal or Focus

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so that can very much be a key some

play03:50

people maybe enter the marriage are

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already communicating very well they're

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very communicative you know so on and so

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forth so maybe that's not the key for

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them maybe finances is the key you know

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where everybody is just spending what

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buying what they want you know not and

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you're dividing the bills and things

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like that so every marriage endures

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different things when they first get

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married and you have to learn to

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overcome that first obstacle so the door

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or the keys are essentially just the

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major obstacles that you have to

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overcome that's going to further your

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marriage from that particular point to

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the next point until you face another

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major obstacle or point of contention

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that you have to work with nice when I

play04:35

hear Miss Michelle Obama when she talks

play04:37

about her marriage and how she's been

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married 30 plus years and she says that

play04:41

for 10 years she didn't like her

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husband but for 20 years they were great

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that she would take those eye absolutely

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understand her position and where she's

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coming from because you have to look at

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marriage like a marathon there is

play04:57

sometimes when you start out you have

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your Cina you're motivated all those

play05:02

things but then somewhere along the line

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you get tired you need to reinvigorate

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yourself you need to refresh yourself

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and it's not by

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quitting you're never going to quit

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you're never going to win a marathon if

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you quit the marathon so you have to

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keep running but somehow replenish

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yourself maybe drink something eat a

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protein bar something like that for

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people who are Runners they know they

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understand very well you know that an

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but nevertheless when You Face hardship

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in your marriage it is not the time to

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quit it is not the time actually if you

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understood um and this is another video

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that I will film for you but is the

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purpose of marriage and I will be

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talking about that in my next video but

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when you understand the purpose of

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marriage you know that Quinny is not an

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option yes when you understand that the

play05:55

design is for you to grow and mature one

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another you would not quit that marriage

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you will find a way around whatever the

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obstacle is so that you can Thrive and

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overcome and continue down your path so

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I would say there are a lot of different

play06:12

keys in a marriage at different points

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and when you can find or when you begin

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to identify your patterns that you are

play06:20

facing in your marriage you can overcome

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them a lot more quickly and you can have

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better happier days than sad days or

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days that you have to really work hard

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and overcome your issues I would say

play06:34

five different areas that I think that

play06:36

people should be aware of when they

play06:38

enter in marriage and they should be

play06:40

more mindful about those different

play06:41

situations or circumstances that present

play06:44

themselves then and number one can be

play06:46

communication another one is money or

play06:49

finances another one is

play06:53

sex but that's another topic of

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contention for a lot of different people

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for one reason or another and then you

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have your beliefs your religion and then

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you have if you have them or if you

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decide to have them children so those

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are different areas that usually rear

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its head either singularly or many of

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them at the same time and they are large

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causes for divorce so you have to be

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ready when you see these type of issues

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that arise in your marriage

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communication where you stop

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communicating with one another because

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because you're upset or you just decide

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to keep separate bank accounts because

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you know you can't seem to work out how

play07:37

to manage your finances imally and

play07:40

together and then you have the issues of

play07:43

children how to raise them maybe

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children from a former relationship sex

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how often you know if you should

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withhold it because you're upset and all

play07:52

those various things I mean these are

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different areas that you know I'm hoping

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to cover individually but these are

play07:58

definitely key

play08:00

that will either hinder or allow your

play08:03

marriage to sued and further so you have

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to pay attention to these different

play08:08

areas and how you can make improvements

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and decide what you're going to do about

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these different areas early on and you

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will find yourself in a more successful

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place and in more successful marriage

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for days to come so that's all I have to

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say about that for now and I will

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continue this topic in another video

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and I am willing to speak more in depth

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on any of the topic that you're willing

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to that you have questions about so for

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now that's all I have for you and and I

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look forward to seeing you the next time

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in the next video remember to ask your

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questions and I will give you my answers

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until next time see you ladies your wife

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coach ail

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n

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