The Very Real Damage That Social Media Does to Kids
Summary
TLDRIn this video, the speaker reflects on the unique behaviors of their eight-year-old twins, who exhibit traditional childhood traits like playing outdoors, reading, and using their imagination. They contrast this with many of their peers who are more engaged with digital devices. The speaker emphasizes the importance of a childhood free from screens, as they believe it fosters creativity and physical activity. They criticize the impact of social media, particularly on young girls, citing research that shows it can lead to anxiety, depression, and body image issues. The speaker calls out parents who provide smartphones to young children, arguing that the disadvantages outweigh any perceived benefits, and concludes by urging parents to reconsider their decisions regarding screen time for their children.
Takeaways
- 👨👧👦 The speaker's eight-year-old twins exhibit traditional childhood behaviors like playing imaginative games and reading classic books, which the speaker finds increasingly rare among their peers.
- 📚 The children's love for literature and outdoor play is contrasted with a perceived decline in such activities among other kids their age.
- 🏡 The family has built a raft and engaged in creative play, inspired by classic literature, showing a hands-on and imaginative approach to childhood activities.
- 👧 The daughter's interest in dolls, costumes, and crafts, including sewing a dress from a blanket, highlights the value placed on traditional play and creativity.
- 📱 The speaker notes a societal shift where many children are spending more time in digital worlds rather than engaging in physical or imaginative play.
- 🚫 The speaker's children do not play video games, use phones, or access the internet, a conscious parenting decision to foster a 'real' childhood.
- 👨👩👧👦 The parents have made a deliberate choice to limit screen time and have set boundaries on technology use to promote an authentic and active childhood.
- 📊 Research is cited to support the observation that excessive screen time can lead to negative mental health outcomes in children, such as anxiety, depression, and lower life satisfaction.
- 🔍 The speaker criticizes Facebook (and by extension, Instagram) for internal research that indicates social media is harmful to children, particularly girls, and for not acting on these findings.
- 🚭 The speaker draws a parallel between big tech's handling of harmful effects and big tobacco's cover-up of smoking dangers, suggesting a moral failure in not protecting children.
- 📱 The speaker argues against giving young children smartphones with internet access, suggesting that parents who do so are contributing to potential harm and then blaming social media companies for the consequences.
- 📈 The speaker challenges parents to weigh the supposed benefits of internet access for young children against the potential harms, suggesting that the negatives significantly outweigh any positives.
- 🏆 The speaker concludes by urging parents to reconsider their decisions about technology use for their children and to take responsibility for the impact on their children's development.
Q & A
What is the main concern expressed by the speaker about their children's behavior?
-The speaker is concerned about the increasing number of children who are not engaging in physical and imaginative play due to their immersion in digital worlds.
How does the speaker describe their twins' behavior compared to their peers?
-The speaker describes their twins as being naive, innocent, energetic, and engaged in imaginative play, which they find increasingly unique among their peers.
What activities does the speaker mention their children enjoy doing?
-The speaker's children enjoy playing imaginative games, reading books, running around outside, and engaging in creative activities like building a raft and sewing dresses.
What societal factor is identified as the main reason for the change in children's behavior?
-The main societal factor identified is that many children today are living out their childhoods inside a digital world, particularly through video games and internet use.
Why does the speaker believe their children are different from some of their peers?
-The speaker believes their children are different because they do not play video games, have phones, or use the internet, which contrasts with many of their peers.
What decision did the speaker and their spouse make regarding their children's access to screens?
-The speaker and their spouse decided to limit their children's access to screens, allowing them only limited and supervised time on a single family-owned TV.
What recent report did the speaker read that influenced their thoughts on social media and children?
-The speaker read a report revealing that Facebook, which owns Instagram, has been aware that Instagram is harmful to kids, particularly girls.
What are the negative effects of social media on children mentioned in the script?
-The negative effects mentioned include causing anxiety, depression, body image issues, lower life satisfaction, and making kids lonelier and more depressed.
Why does the speaker believe parents should not give young children smartphones with internet access?
-The speaker believes that young children do not benefit from having constant internet access and that it exposes them to potential harm without any genuine advantages.
What alternative does the speaker suggest for parents who want their children to have a phone for emergencies?
-The speaker suggests that parents can provide their children with a basic phone that only makes calls and can be programmed to call only a few specific numbers.
What is the speaker's final message regarding parents and children's use of social media?
-The speaker's final message is that parents who allow their children to use social media are the ones who should be held accountable, not the social media companies themselves.
Outlines
🌳 The Uniqueness of an Unplugged Childhood
The speaker reflects on the distinctive behavior of their eight-year-old twins compared to their peers, who seem to be more engaged in digital activities. The children are described as energetic, imaginative, and fond of outdoor play and reading books like 'Huck Finn' and 'Tom Sawyer.' The family has intentionally chosen to keep their children away from video games, smartphones, and the internet to foster a more authentic and active childhood. The speaker expresses concern about the societal shift towards digital entertainment for children and cites research indicating the negative impacts of social media on children's mental health and well-being. The speaker criticizes Facebook for being aware of the harmful effects of Instagram on children yet continuing to promote its use.
📵 The Consequences of Early Internet Exposure
The speaker addresses the issue of parents providing young children with smartphones and unfettered internet access. They argue that it is not necessary and can be detrimental to a child's development. The speaker suggests that parents should consider the advantages and disadvantages of such access and questions the benefits, asserting that there are none. They propose that parents should not blame social media companies for the negative effects on their children but should instead take responsibility for their choices in allowing their children to use these platforms. The speaker concludes by urging parents to reconsider their decisions and to prioritize a healthy, screen-free childhood for their kids.
Mindmap
Keywords
💡naive
💡innocent
💡energetic
💡imaginative games
💡digital world
💡screen time
💡social media
💡anxiety
💡depression
💡authentic human life
💡regret
Highlights
Children acting like their age is becoming unique due to digital distractions.
Eight-year-olds should be naive, innocent, energetic, and imaginative.
Kids today are not playing or reading as much due to digital influences.
The family built a raft to emulate the adventure of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer.
Parents are embracing gender stereotypes in their children's play.
Many kids are living their childhoods inside a digital world.
The decision to keep kids away from video games and the internet is intentional.
Facebook's own research shows Instagram is harmful to kids, especially girls.
Social media causes anxiety, depression, and other negative effects in children.
Facebook's cover-up of Instagram's harm is compared to big tobacco's actions.
Parents are ultimately responsible for their children's overexposure to screens.
Giving young children smartphones with internet access is a harmful decision.
Parents should consider the advantages and disadvantages of internet access for young kids.
There are no genuine advantages to elementary schoolers having smartphones.
Parents who allow their kids unrestricted internet access will likely regret it.
The call to action for parents to reconsider their children's screen time.
Transcripts
[Music]
so you know my oldest kids the twins are
eight years old and uh more and more i'm
noticing something about them that seems
increasingly unique among their peers
but shouldn't be
and that is that my eight-year-olds
act like eight-year-olds they are naive
and innocent and energetic they like to
play imaginative games they like to run
around outside they love books
my son especially loves huck finn and
tom sawyer and you know he loves those
characters he'll run around the yard in
overalls and bare feet pretending that
he's on some great adventure
a little while ago all the kids built a
raft out of logs so that they could
float down the mississippi river even
though we don't live anywhere near the
mississippi river but still they wanted
to build the raft um
my daughter plays with dolls still she
likes to dress up in costumes she likes
to sew and make different kinds of
crafts she she uh last week she made
herself a dress out of an old blanket
um actually might have been a new
blanket that my wife just bought and she
cut it up and made it into a dress but
that was fine
now none of this information is
terribly fascinating or special i mean
they're just kids being kids right
very gender stereotypical kids too which
i know makes me an extremely
unenlightened parent and i'm fine with
that
but i've noticed that a lot of kids
their age
not all certainly but a lot
aren't like this
many kids these days at eight to nine
years old
don't have
the same kind of energy or creative
drive or the desire to run around
outside all day
this isn't just my own anecdotal
observation either lots of research has
shown that many kids today aren't
playing the way we did when we were kids
they aren't running around outside
they're not reading books they're not
playing physical or imaginative games
and there are many societal factors
which may help explain this shift but
the biggest one
without question
is that many kids today are living out
their childhoods inside a digital world
the single greatest factor that explains
why my kids seem a bit different from
some of their peers is that my kids
don't play video games
they don't have phones
they don't use the internet
we're not living off the grid in the
forest either though i kind of wish we
were i mean nothing nothing wrong with
living that way we're living a pretty
normal life for better or worse except
that our kids don't have video games and
they don't use the internet
there are plenty of parenting decisions
that i have made that i later questioned
or second guess but this is definitely
not one of them
my wife and i decided early on that we
would force our kids to have a real
childhood we're not going to give them a
choice in the matter
you can't give a kid a choice in this
because if you give them a choice
they're going to choose the tv and the
internet and everything else i mean
every kid's going to choose that if you
let them choose
so for us there is no choice
a childhood full of imagination and
physical play and scrape knees and all
the rest of it that's what they're going
to have and so far they've had that kind
of childhood because we're keeping them
away from every screen except the one
single tv we own which is in our living
room and which they're allowed to watch
for limited periods of time
and and of course only shows that we
approve of ahead of time i thought about
this today when i read a report
revealing how facebook which owns
has for a long time been aware that
instagram is harmful to kids especially
girls
the tech giant apparently conducted its
own research into the effects of social
media on the developing minds of kids
and they found that the effects are
rather dire social media the focus was
on instagram but this holds true across
the spectrum
social media for kids causes anxiety
depression body image issues
lower life satisfaction and so on and so
on and so on
makes kids lonelier
them more depressed it makes them
unhappier
now facebook knows this and and this is
the research they did
again that's not the only research on
this topic
this this has been studied
again and again again and again and
almost all the research you'll read will
tell you this
and facebook knows it but they swept its
own findings their own findings under
the rug which has drawn comparisons to
the big tobacco companies that
discovered a link between smoking and
cancer decades ago and didn't tell
anybody about it and i think the
comparison is apt though if anything it
undersells the problem
this is going to sound extreme and maybe
it is but i would rather my kids smoke
cigarettes
than spend all day on the internet
because the damage done by the latter is
that deep and that profound
our kids are being fundamentally changed
they're being turned into different
sorts of people worse sorts of people
because of their overexposure to screens
they're not learning how to be authentic
people or how to live an authentic human
life
many kids today simply do not know how
to find joy or happiness or fulfillment
outside of the screen
though they can't really find it inside
the screen either so they just don't
have it at all
and that's why
when i hear about what facebook has done
to cover up the damage its own product
does to the people who use it
i don't blame facebook primarily
i mean they obviously deserve 100 of the
blame for the things that they're doing
but there's another 100 portion
that can be assigned to parents
look i understand that at a certain age
it might be difficult to keep your kids
away from the internet
it's it's different when a kid is 16 or
17.
but parents today are giving their six
seven eight-year-olds phones with
internet access
that's what parents are deciding to do
and they can't use the excuse of well i
want my kid to have a phone in case he
needs me in case of an emergency
even that is pretty extreme
like the idea that your kid needs to
have this constant connection with you
all of the time
no kids in history had that i didn't
have that when i was a kid
i didn't have a phone where i could call
my parents at the drop of a drop of a
dime
and and you know i survived it was okay
but if you do want that for your kid
you could you can buy them a phone that
doesn't do anything but make a phone
call
and you can make it so that it only can
call two numbers you know
your house phone and your and your cell
phone if you actually still have a house
phone or whatever i mean you can decide
so you can give your kid a phone like
that that's one thing
but there are parents who say you know
what no no i'm gonna give my kid
my eight-year-old
a phone with full and complete internet
access
and i'm gonna let them have it all the
time
it it's it
just
blows my mind
do you know how you can keep your
seven-year-old off the phone here's how
you do it real easy
don't give him one
it really is that easy
for a seven-year-old for a 17 year old
it's different for a seven-year-old
that's all you got to do
because they can't have anything if you
don't buy it for them
how does your child your young child
benefit from having the internet in his
pocket 24 hours a day what are the
advantages
i mean make a chart and list them
list all of the advantages to your seven
or eight-year-old having 24-hour access
to the internet
you know in what ways has his life in
existence enhanced by spending almost
all of it online
and go ahead and write all those
all those advantages down
now go to the other side
list the negatives
in what ways can he be harmed what are
the downsides
and then when you look back at the chart
which column has more bullet points
and it must be the negative column
because i can't actually think of one
single genuine advantage to an
elementary schooler having a smartphone
and yet millions of parents make this
choice for their children
and they and then they blame the social
media companies
for the harm that they the parents have
intentionally exposed their children to
maybe think of it this way
imagine a parent
who keeps their kid away from the
screens doesn't give him a phone doesn't
let him spend five hours a day playing
video games and so on now imagine that
parent sitting at the child's high
school graduation
do you think that he sitting there in
the stands
is going to look back on his son's
childhood
reflecting nostalgic and say man
i wish i'd let him spend more time
staring at screens
do you think any parent who makes that
choice will have that regret
we all know the answer
and we all also know that many parents
will regret and already have regretted
allowing the internet and the media
and video games and everything else to
consume their children shape them mutate
them dominate their lives
and that is why today it is not social
media that i'm canceling it's not
but parents
who allow their kids to use social media
in the first place they're the ones who
are canceled if you enjoyed this video
be sure to give it a thumbs up and share
it with all your friends
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