Sadia Psychology: The Untold Truth About Attraction

Summary

The transcript discusses the complexities of sexual compatibility and relationships. It suggests that men often become accustomed to certain sexual behaviors, which can lead to a preference for short-term or promiscuous partners. The conversation highlights the contrast between men who have had numerous short-term encounters versus those in long-term relationships, arguing that the latter tend to be more skilled at understanding and satisfying their partners. It also touches on the societal implications of these preferences, questioning the values and behaviors rewarded in modern relationships.

Takeaways

• 💡 The script discusses the idea that women who desire a lot of sexual variety may have underlying issues, suggesting that this behavior is not typically sustainable in long-term relationships.
• 👥 It highlights a potential issue where men become accustomed to certain sexual behaviors and may only find them in short-term or promiscuous relationships, which are not indicative of a healthy, long-term dynamic.
• 🔄 The speaker points out that men might end up being sexually compatible with hyper-promiscuous women, which can lead to problematic relationships and a misunderstanding of what constitutes a fulfilling sexual connection.
• 🚫 The script argues against the idea that men who have had many short-term sexual encounters are necessarily good at sex, suggesting that this may actually indicate a lack of depth and understanding of a partner's needs.
• 📈 Research is mentioned to support the idea that men in long-term relationships tend to be better at understanding and satisfying their partners sexually, as they have the opportunity to learn and adapt over time.
• 🎓 The importance of self-awareness and understanding one's own sexual preferences and behaviors is emphasized, as well as the potential negative impacts of porn addiction on sexual relationships.
• 🤔 The script raises the question of whether men who have had many sexual partners are more likely to fall in love with women who are also promiscuous, and what this means for the type of relationships they form.
• 🧬 An evolutionary biology perspective is introduced to explain the different sexual strategies of men and women, and how this might influence modern dating and mating behaviors.
• 👶 The discussion touches on the concept of 'testicle size' as an indicator of a species' mating habits, placing humans somewhere in the middle between monogamous and promiscuous species.
• 👩‍❤️‍👨 The speaker suggests that honesty about sexual desires and needs in relationships is crucial, and that men and women should be clear about what they are looking for to avoid misunderstandings and dissatisfaction.
• 🔍 The script concludes with a call for more self-awareness and understanding of one's own and others' sexual behaviors, and the importance of aligning one's actions with one's stated desires in relationships.

Q & A

What does the speaker suggest about a woman who desires a lot of sexual variation throughout her life?

The speaker suggests that a woman who desires a lot of sexual variation might have experienced some kind of damage, as it's more common for women to eventually settle down and desire consistency in their sexual relationships.

Why does the speaker believe that men might become accustomed to a certain way of making love?

The speaker believes that men can become accustomed to a certain way of making love because they often only experience that kind of sexual behavior in short-term or casual relationships with promiscuous women, which can set a precedent for their expectations.

According to the speaker, why might men end up being sexually compatible with hyper promiscuous women?

Men might end up being sexually compatible with hyper promiscuous women because these women are often the only ones who can maintain a high level of sexual variation and novelty, which men may crave but cannot sustain in long-term relationships.

What is the speaker's view on the promiscuity of women in the context of sexual relationships?

The speaker suggests that promiscuous women have more leverage in sexual relationships because they have more men available to them, which can lead to men becoming more compatible with them, despite the potential negative consequences.

Why does the speaker argue that men who have had many short-term sexual encounters may not be good at sex?

The speaker argues that men with many short-term encounters may not be good at sex because they lack the opportunity to learn and understand the preferences and needs of a single partner over time, which is crucial for sexual satisfaction in the long term.

What does the speaker imply about the relationship between sexual experience and the ability to please a partner?

The speaker implies that having a reasonable amount of sexual experience can lead to better sexual compatibility and satisfaction, as it allows individuals to learn about different preferences and how to please a partner.

What is the speaker's opinion on the idea that men fall in love with women who are more promiscuous?

The speaker suggests that men might fall in love with more promiscuous women because they are often better at sex due to their experience, but this can lead to a conflict with societal expectations of what constitutes a 'good woman'.

Why does the speaker believe that some men might develop a sociopathic approach to lovemaking?

The speaker believes that some men might develop a sociopathic approach to lovemaking because they only seek short-term encounters that prioritize sexual novelty and variation over emotional connection and long-term compatibility.

What does the speaker suggest about the evolutionary differences between men and women in terms of sexual strategies?

The speaker suggests that there are significant evolutionary differences in sexual strategies, with men being more focused on the immediate act of reproduction and women being more concerned with the long-term viability of a partner and the well-being of potential offspring.

How does the speaker view the importance of honesty in expressing sexual needs within a relationship?

The speaker views honesty about sexual needs as crucial within a relationship, arguing that lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction, and that being open about desires can help both partners meet each other's needs.

Outlines

00:00

🔒 The Paradox of Sexual Compatibility and Monogamy

The first paragraph discusses the idea that women who desire a more adventurous sexual life may have experienced some form of damage, leading to a preference for short-term, casual relationships. It suggests that men accustomed to this style may struggle to find it in long-term commitments like marriage, as comfort and familiarity can lead to a woman's refusal to engage in certain sexual activities. The speaker argues that men might become 'sexually compatible' with hyper-promiscuous women, who are more sexually experienced and have more options, leading to a cycle of short-term relationships and dissatisfaction. The paragraph also touches on the notion that men who have not been influenced by porn and have had long-term relationships are more adept at understanding and satisfying women's sexual needs, as opposed to those who have numerous one-night stands and lack 'repeat customers.'

05:01

🧬 Evolutionary Perspectives on Sexual Behavior and Relationships

The second paragraph delves into the evolutionary biology of sexual behavior, contrasting the reproductive strategies of men and women. It posits that women have a 'detective agency' mindset when choosing a partner, assessing factors like resource access and trustworthiness, while men's primary concern is the potential for impregnation. The speaker uses the size of human testicles as an evolutionary clue to our level of promiscuity, placing humans in the middle of the spectrum between monogamous and polygamous species. The paragraph also addresses the idea that both men and women can become better at sex with experience, learning from each partner and developing a 'menu of treats.' However, it cautions against claiming to want a 'good woman' while actually rewarding promiscuity, and calls for honesty in what men truly value in a partner, suggesting that the lack of communication about sexual needs can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction in relationships.

Keywords

💡Settling down

The concept of 'settling down' in the script refers to the idea that individuals, particularly women, eventually seek stability and long-term relationships. It is tied to the video's theme as it contrasts with the behavior of those who engage in short-term or casual relationships. The speaker mentions that women usually 'settle down' with the way lovemaking happens in a relationship, indicating a shift from seeking novelty to valuing consistency and comfort.

💡Hyper promiscuous

'Hyper promiscuous' is used to describe individuals who engage in a high frequency of sexual relationships with multiple partners. The script discusses how men may become sexually compatible with hyper promiscuous women due to their ability to provide the intense experiences sought after, but also how this can lead to issues in long-term relationships. An example from the script is the idea that men may end up being attracted to women who are '10 times more promiscuous' than themselves, leading to potential problems in forming lasting bonds.

💡Short-term mating

The term 'short-term mating' is used to describe relationships that are not intended to last long and often involve casual encounters. It is central to the video's theme as it is contrasted with long-term relationships and the idea of settling down. The script suggests that men may seek short-term mating to experience the kind of sexual variety and intensity that is difficult to sustain in a long-term marriage.

💡Sexual compatibility

'Sexual compatibility' refers to the alignment of sexual desires, preferences, and behaviors between partners. The script discusses how men may become sexually compatible with promiscuous women due to the variety and intensity of sexual experiences. However, it also points out the potential downside of this, as the pursuit of sexual compatibility in this context may not align with the values needed for a successful long-term relationship.

💡Promiscuity

Promiscuity in the script is associated with having multiple sexual partners and is often linked to the behavior of women who are described as 'hyper promiscuous.' It is a key concept in the video as it explores the consequences of promiscuous behavior on relationships and the potential for men to become attracted to women who exhibit this trait, which may not be conducive to a stable, long-term partnership.

💡One-night stands

The phrase 'one-night stands' is used to describe sexual encounters that occur between individuals who are not in a committed relationship and have no intention of continuing the relationship beyond a single encounter. The script uses this term to illustrate a pattern of behavior that some men may engage in, which may not lead to learning about the deeper needs and desires of a partner, as opposed to those who have been in long-term relationships.

💡Long-term relationships

Long-term relationships are a central theme in the video, representing stability, commitment, and the potential for deeper emotional and sexual connection. The script contrasts these with short-term mating and promiscuity, suggesting that men who have been in long-term relationships are better equipped to understand and satisfy their partners' needs, as they have had the opportunity to learn and adapt over time.

💡Porn addiction

The script touches on the topic of 'porn addiction,' suggesting that men who are addicted to porn may not be as adept at reading a woman's body and responding to her needs during sex. Instead, they may rely on scripted moves and performances they have seen in pornographic material, which can detract from the authenticity and intimacy of a sexual encounter within a relationship.

💡Evolutionary biology

The concept of 'evolutionary biology' is used in the script to explain the different sexual strategies between men and women from an evolutionary perspective. It is used to contextualize why men may be more inclined towards seeking new sexual partners, while women may be more selective and focused on long-term prospects for their offspring's survival. The script references this concept to explain the different behaviors and desires discussed.

💡Testicle size

'Testicle size' is mentioned in the script as an indicator of the level of sperm competition among humans in the context of evolutionary biology. It is used to illustrate that humans are somewhere in the middle of the spectrum when it comes to monogamy versus promiscuity, as indicated by the size of male testicles compared to other species. This concept is used to further the discussion on human mating behaviors and strategies.

💡Honesty in relationships

The importance of 'honesty in relationships' is a recurring theme in the script. It discusses the need for open communication about desires and expectations, particularly when it comes to sexual needs. The script suggests that a lack of honesty can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction in relationships, and that being forthright about one's needs can help both partners understand and meet each other's expectations.

Highlights

The idea that women who desire a more adventurous sexual life may have underlying issues is presented.

Men may become accustomed to certain sexual behaviors, limiting their experiences to short-term or promiscuous relationships.

The challenge of maintaining sexual excitement in long-term relationships compared to short-term encounters.

The notion that promiscuous women have more sexual leverage due to a larger pool of potential partners.

The compatibility between men and hyper-promiscuous women based on extrinsic value.

The potential for men to develop a sociopathic approach to love due to sexual compatibility with promiscuous women.

The argument that women are more satisfied with men who have not been influenced by porn or short-term relationships.

The importance of long-term relationships for men to learn and understand what pleases women sexually.

The contrast between men who learn from variety of sexual experiences and those who learn from long-term relationships.

The evolutionary biology perspective on why men may be obsessed with the novelty of sex with different women.

The discussion on how men and women have different strategies for sexual and reproductive success.

The concept of 'inverted you' and the impact of sexual experience on men's preferences and behaviors.

The idea that both men and women can become better at sex through experience with different partners.

The potential for men to fall in love with women who are more promiscuous due to sexual compatibility.

The societal implications of men's sexual preferences and the impact on women's roles as partners and mothers.

The importance of honesty in communication about sexual needs and desires within relationships.

The disconnect between what men claim to want in a partner and their actual behaviors and preferences.

The role of self-awareness and understanding one's own sexual preferences and behaviors.

The discussion on the importance of defining what constitutes a 'good woman' in the context of relationships.

The observation that women who are 'wife material' struggle to find partners due to men's mixed messages.

The call for more transparency in what men truly value in women, beyond societal expectations or norms.

Transcripts

a woman that wants to be thrown around

for the rest of her life is probably

had some kind of damage

because it's usually they settle down

they want that here and there

but usually they settle down with it

the problem with that is

men get used to that way of making love

and they can only access that in either hyper

promiscuous women or in short term

casual relationships

you can't get that in a 20 year marriage all the time

because there'll be times where she's like

cause she's comfortable enough to say no

leave my hair alone today

so whereas they can't

they can only access that in really short term

really promiscuous women so

they end up being sexually compatible with women

who are hyper promiscuous

and when you're meeting a woman who's hyper promiscuous

she's gonna be 10 times more promiscuous than you

because she's got leverage

a promiscuous woman has far more men available to her

than a promiscuous man

they become compatible on this very extrinsic value

they become compatible

and then they end up losing her to that promiscuity

or they just look for short term mating

short term mating because

that's

the only woman that can maintain that kind of behavior

because she's only with you for a couple of months

and then she can do and then she leaves

so that it gets them

almost into a sociopathic way of making love

it's not actually what women find attractive

and the the thing is

they think they're learning all these skills and moves

but if you speak to women

they are far more satisfied with men

who have not watched porn

or been in long term relationships

compared to men who do short term

one night stance some men will be like

I slept with 100 girls this year

if you've slept with so many men again

I'm sorry so many women

and you've got loads of

one night stands behind your belts

that is an indicator you are not good at sex

the man that actually has more long term relationships

is far better and farm

and there's been so much research to support this

because you don't have any repeat customers

if you're just doing one night stands

so you don't learn anything about women

and you don't learn what pleases them

what doesn't please them

whereas men that have been in long term relationships

fewer women but been there with them longer

they learn how to read a woman's body

whereas porn addicts learn how to just reenact moves

and there's a complete difference in them

and women are looking for men who read her body

rather than somebody

who just read the script that they saw on Pornhub

take you into nuanced waters

everything you said makes total sense

for maybe the average person

somebody that doesn't have access to self awareness

whatever

going back to this idea of obsessed with vagina

experiencing more women for sure made me better at sex

even though some of them were very brief encounters

no repeat customers because

if one of them is honest with you about what they like

then sudden oh whoa

I never would have thought of that

that's really interesting

a little bit of feedback but that

doesn't that then also suggest

then women who've had more experience

are gonna be better at sex

almost certainly

and therefore how do men fall in love through sex

so they're gonna end up falling in love with women

who are more promiscuous

something breaks for me

with my personality on that train

so again

you're probably averages and I'm speaking to younger

I think generation that grew up on Instagram

and that is their preferences

and I haven't experienced loyalty in relationships

but if we are suggesting that

more experience leads to better sex

than men always

fall in love with the woman

that gives them the best sex

they're gonna fall in love with

the more promiscuous woman overall

in in the real world

that's who they're gonna be most attached to

and therefore what are we rewarding

and then we're complaining that women are so Liberal

and women are no longer mothers

and women it's because

you're falling in love

with the women that know how to handle you sexually

best rather than the women that know how to actually

give you a big good life best

interesting though if somebody can't figure that out

I worry a lot about them so this is an inverted you

so everything when you talk about this look

I am scared for people that I know and love

I've got a lot of young guys on the staff

and I don't know if they have my skill set

and would be able to we take it for granted

cause we would think it's common sense

it's not common sense unfortunately

it's really not common sense

and you'll know it's not common sense

by how much of a reaction I get when I say it

it's so common sense to us

that

you would think people would just scroll past my thing

and not even think twice about it

but

the fact that people will literally foam at the mouth

when I say it

means that it's unfortunately not common sense

isn't it bizarre that it's not common sense other

but so well if it's not common sense

let's give it to people

so this is gonna be an inverted you

in my Assumption from sexual experience yeah

zero is problematic and somewhere

I'm gonna put numbers on it

somewhere probably north of 25

I'm talking for guys

it's a lot there starts to be 25 is a lot

is it is it a lot or not a lot in this day oh

in this day and age it's probably not

but that to me is

is you're for sure gonna be on the side of

now we're we are

I mean you probably knew women somewhere around seven

eight

nine 10 and there you've had enough variety but anyway

if somebody got to 25

going back to this idea of obsession with vagina

nature squeezes your brain in a way you can't imagine

when you're having sex with a novel female

it's really unbelievable

now I love that I can talk to my wife about this

cause I'm like you just don't understand

there are few things that are as gripping as that

and what's well I can't speak for all women

but from a female perspective

there's nothing more for me

it would be nothing more traumatizing

than having to sleep with somebody in you

isn't that so weird it is from a

because I'm obsessed with evolutionary biology

it is not weird in the slightest

everything about evolution predicts that would be true

so in a world where you could die having kids

and I could impregnate somebody in four minutes

never see them again

and now I have a child that's out there somewhere

our strategies are just so different

so you have to develop a detective agency for a brain

anybody that hasn't read it

I highly encourage you read the book getting my kids

and they talk about this idea of the detective agency

so a woman has a detective agency

is this guy gonna be good

they can have access to resources

are my kids gonna be okay

yeah all that stuff can I trust him yeah

a guy is just like

am I gonna be able to get her pregnant

my climax thing yeah yeah

so very very different strategies

now guys are more likely to have a child than survives

if they also invest

at least for a short period of time

so we are by way of species

we are very much in the middle

so which you can tell about the size of testicles

I don't know if the audience cares about this

but so

humans have testicle size

and put some right in the middle

if we were very monogamous

we would have tiny tuskles

because we would not have them

there's certain gorillas that have tuskles

because they they basically hoard all the females

so they don't have to there's no sperm competition

whereas you get some animals

where they have gigantic testicles

cause they're just

everybody's having sex with everybody

and so they is tons of room competition

humans are somewhere in the middle

so anyway going back to this idea of the inverted

you a little bit of or no experience is bad

is you get a reasonable amount

it's good I would agree with you

I would probably morally I would disagree

but I guess in terms of empirical and stuff

I can agree I can understand why that

and I would say the same applies to women

as a body count increases

they learn something about male bodies from each man

a different preference and therefore

she comes with a menu full of treats for a man

and which is totally fine

but then just don't claim you want a good woman

claim you want an experienced woman

well we have to define what we mean by good woman

because here's the thing I work with men and women

I work primarily with men

but I have a lot of female clients

and

the only women that are struggling to find a partner

are ones that are actually wife material

you speak to a woman

who has no intention of settling down

who is a very good at warming sexual acts and stuff

she has no problem meeting men

he's constantly surrounded by men

so it's just the the message that men are giving online

is that they want good women

and stuff is not in line with their behaviour

and I just wish

there was more honesty

about what you truly want out of a woman

and once you give women that honesty

they know cause I know men who are saying

my wife

she just stopped having sex with me years and years ago

that's the primary thing and I was like

but have you mentioned this to her

have you said this to her

I said it once or twice joking

does that they like it to voice it

let's get it

so that lack of honesty about how important sex is

so many women will say oh

he never really spoke about it

I didn't know that he was so deprived

he would seem fine about it

they don't talk about their true needs

I get get it sounds predatory

but it's better to give women that information

than to hide it and mask it

and tell women no

we don't want promiscuous

we don't want this

but then they go through life thinking

that's what you truly want

but that's not what you're rewarding at all

so it's giving women a really

misinformation about how to actually attract a partner

what