Things I'm too embarrassed to say out loud

Summary

In this candid video, the speaker discusses their struggles with social anxiety, feelings of loneliness, and the desire for genuine love. They also touch on their envy of religious people and their own insecurities, culminating in a lighthearted moment where they share an impromptu song they composed.

Takeaways

• 🤔 The speaker often questions whether they have been truly loved by a man, which leads to feelings of loneliness.
• 😓 The speaker acknowledges having social anxiety and how it has affected their ability to maintain friendships and social relationships.
• 🎓 The speaker reflects on their university experience, where they struggled to maintain relationships due to social anxiety.
• 💔 They express a lack of resentment towards themselves for their social anxiety, recognizing it as a part of their identity and something they are always recovering from.
• 😔 Despite having a supportive network of family and friends, the speaker feels lonely when it comes to romantic love and the depth of connection they desire.
• 🚀 The speaker admits to struggling with feeling unaccomplished, even in the face of success, and not celebrating their achievements.
• 🎥 Content creation has led to a habit of self-criticism and nitpicking one's appearance and performance, which can be mentally taxing.
• 👥 The speaker expresses envy towards religious people for their sense of community and shared values, which they find meaningful.
• 🎤 The speaker ends the video with an impromptu song, showing their love for singing and willingness to step out of their comfort zone.
• 💡 The video script serves as a candid confession of the speaker's insecurities, struggles, and self-reflection, encouraging viewers to share their own vulnerabilities.

Q & A

What is the main theme of the video transcript?

The main theme of the video transcript is the speaker's introspection on personal struggles, including social anxiety, feelings of loneliness, unaccomplishment, content creation challenges, and curiosity about religion.

How does the speaker describe their experience with social anxiety?

The speaker describes their experience with social anxiety as a problem that has affected significant portions of their life, impacting their ability to maintain friendships and participate in social situations.

What does the speaker feel about their social anxiety?

The speaker does not resent their social anxiety but acknowledges that it has been a part of their life and will continue to be, even during times when they are not actively feeling it.

Why does the speaker feel lonely despite having a supportive network of family and friends?

The speaker feels lonely because they question whether they have ever been truly loved by a man in the same way they are capable of loving others.

What does the speaker struggle with regarding their sense of accomplishment?

The speaker struggles with feeling unaccomplished because they do not celebrate their achievements or feel deserving of praise, often attributing success to external factors or luck.

How does the speaker's experience with content creation affect their self-perception?

Content creation has led the speaker to nitpick their appearance and performance in videos, which can result in a negative self-image and a tendency to be overly critical of themselves.

What is the speaker's view on the impact of social media and AI on self-image?

The speaker believes that social media and AI, with their unrealistic portrayals of perfection, contribute to a distorted self-image and unhealthy comparison with non-existent standards of beauty.

Why does the speaker express envy towards religious people?

The speaker envies religious people for their strong connection to something bigger than themselves and the sense of community and shared values that comes with it.

What is the speaker's attitude towards their singing ability?

The speaker believes they have a good singing voice and enjoys singing, even though they are initially hesitant to share this talent in the video.

What does the speaker do to conclude the video?

The speaker concludes the video by singing a song they made up, demonstrating their willingness to step out of their comfort zone and embrace vulnerability.

What is the speaker's call to action for the viewers at the end of the video?

The speaker encourages viewers to leave a comment about something they are not happy to admit, in line with the video's theme of openness and self-reflection.

Outlines

00:00

😔 Struggling with Social Anxiety and the Quest for True Love

The speaker reflects on their personal experiences with social anxiety, acknowledging that it has hindered their ability to form and maintain friendships, particularly during their university years. They express a sense of loneliness and question whether they have ever been truly loved by a man, contrasting their feelings of being desired and wanted with the deeper emotional connection they crave. The speaker also touches on the universal human condition of dealing with imperfections and challenges, and their decision to share these vulnerabilities in a raw and honest manner through freestyling the video content.

05:02

🚀 The Burden of Accomplishment and the Impact of Self-Criticism

In this paragraph, the speaker discusses their struggle with feeling unaccomplished despite their achievements. They attribute this to a lifelong pattern of not celebrating their wins or accepting praise, often attributing success to external factors or luck. The speaker admires those who can celebrate life's small victories and believes this contributes to happiness. They also delve into the downsides of content creation, particularly the negative effects of constantly reviewing one's own image and voice, which can lead to severe self-criticism and a distorted self-image, exacerbated by societal and media pressures to conform to unrealistic beauty standards.

10:05

🎤 Embracing Creativity and the Joy of Singing

The speaker shares their love for singing, revealing that they are constantly humming or singing, especially when feeling comfortable. They recount creating an impromptu song during a flight's landing and decide to perform it for the audience, despite being out of their comfort zone. The song is a playful take on airline safety instructions, and the speaker uses this opportunity to encourage viewers to share something they are not proud of, embracing the spirit of the video's theme of openness and vulnerability.

Keywords

💡Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a feeling of nervousness and apprehension in social situations, often stemming from a fear of being judged or scrutinized by others. In the video, the speaker acknowledges their struggle with social anxiety, which has affected their ability to form and maintain friendships, particularly during their university years. The script illustrates this by mentioning how they pulled away from social engagements and declined invites due to their anxiety.

💡Loneliness

Loneliness is the subjective feeling of being alone or isolated, regardless of whether one is physically alone or surrounded by others. The speaker expresses a sense of loneliness, questioning whether they have ever been truly loved by a man. This feeling is connected to the video's theme of personal introspection and the exploration of emotional states that are often difficult to confront.

💡Unaccomplished

Feeling unaccomplished refers to a sense of inadequacy or lack of achievement, often accompanied by self-doubt. The speaker discusses their struggle with this feeling, noting that they do not celebrate their achievements or feel deserving of praise. This concept is tied to the video's overarching message of self-reflection and the challenges of self-worth.

💡Content Creation

Content creation is the process of producing various forms of digital content, such as videos, blogs, or social media posts. The speaker mentions the downsides of content creation, such as the potential for self-criticism and the pressure to constantly present a polished image. This relates to the video's theme of vulnerability and the impact of social media on self-perception.

💡Nitpicking

Nitpicking is the act of finding and focusing on minor faults or flaws, often to a point of obsession. The speaker describes how they have become overly critical of their appearance and performance in their videos, which is a manifestation of the self-doubt and negative self-talk that can arise from constant self-examination.

💡Religion

Religion is a system of beliefs, practices, and rituals that often center around a higher power or deity. The speaker expresses envy for religious people, admiring the sense of community and shared values that religion can provide. This concept is explored in the context of seeking meaning and connection in a rapidly changing world.

💡Values

Values are the principles or standards of behavior that guide an individual's or group's actions and decisions. The speaker discusses the difficulty of finding people who share similar values in a culturally diverse and rapidly evolving society. This concept is integral to the video's theme of seeking connection and understanding in a complex world.

💡Self-love

Self-love is the act of having a deep affection for oneself, recognizing one's worth and treating oneself with kindness. The speaker contrasts their own feelings of inadequacy with the concept of self-love, expressing a desire to celebrate life and achievements as others do. This is a central theme in the video, which encourages self-acceptance and positive self-regard.

💡Perfection

Perfection refers to the state of being flawless or without any defects. The speaker talks about the unrealistic standards of beauty and self-presentation perpetuated by social media and technology, such as AI-generated images. This concept is used to critique the pressure to conform to unattainable ideals and the impact on self-esteem.

💡Community

Community refers to a group of people who share common interests, values, or goals. The speaker expresses admiration for the sense of belonging and support that comes from being part of a community, particularly in the context of religion. This concept is connected to the video's theme of seeking connection and understanding in a fragmented world.

💡Singing

Singing is the act of producing musical sounds with the voice, often to the accompaniment of music. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about singing a spontaneous song during a flight, revealing a lighter, more playful side to their personality. This serves as a moment of levity in the video and demonstrates the speaker's willingness to step out of their comfort zone.

Highlights

The speaker's introspection on whether they have ever been truly loved by a man, reflecting on the loneliness that comes with such a realization.

Acknowledgment of social anxiety as a common human experience, and its impact on personal relationships and social interactions.

Admission of the speaker's struggle with social anxiety and its effects on their ability to maintain friendships, particularly during university years.

The speaker's acceptance of being a 'recovering social anxiety' individual, understanding that they will always have to manage their condition.

A candid discussion on the feeling of unaccomplishment despite achievements, and the speaker's difficulty in celebrating their own successes.

The speaker's envy of people who can celebrate life and enjoy small victories, contrasting their own inability to do so.

The negative impact of content creation on self-perception, with the speaker detailing how constantly viewing oneself can lead to self-criticism.

A critique of social media and its role in promoting unrealistic beauty standards and the pressure to conform to these standards.

The speaker's curiosity and envy towards religious people, highlighting the sense of community and shared values that religion can provide.

The speaker's personal journey of exploring religion and their search for a deeper understanding of spirituality and community.

A humorous anecdote about the speaker's tendency to sing constantly, revealing their passion for music and its role in their life.

The speaker's decision to sing an original song made up during a flight, showcasing their creativity and willingness to step out of their comfort zone.

The actual performance of the original song, which serves as a light-hearted conclusion to the video and a testament to the speaker's self-expression.

An invitation for viewers to share something they are not proud to admit, encouraging a community of openness and vulnerability.

The speaker's reflection on the purpose of the video, aiming to embrace vulnerability and share personal struggles with the audience.

Transcripts

but I have been wondering if I have ever

been truly loved by a man and that can

be a pretty lonely place no one's life

is perfect no person is perfect we all

deal with things that we're not happy to

deal with things that we wish we did not

have to deal with and things we're not

proud of and so today I want to share

some things that I am not particularly

excited to admit to myself mainly or to

you guys but we're doing it we're going

to see how this goes so I have some

notes and I have written some topics

down I'm going to Freestyle this

entire video and what I'm going to say

about the topics because I think that's

when it's the most raw and

honest okay first

one I sometimes resent my social anxiety

[Music]

I want to say first that I know everyone

deals with social anxiety to an extent I

mean that's just a part of Being Human

we get nervous we get sweaty we get

scared most people don't like public

speaking for example most people are not

super comfortable walking into a group

of random people that we don't know but

it can also become a problem for some

people and it has become a problem for

big portions of my life and the reason I

present it sometimes is because I know

that had I not had to deal with it I

would probably had made more friendships

or at least I would have been able to

make the effort to maintain some of the

friendships that I have had in my life I

think of uni in

particular I met some very good

reasonable

people at Uni but I just was not in a

place where I

could maintain those relationships I

pulled away I declined invites I did not

take any initiatives or really show much

interest at all because even though I

wanted

to I couldn't but I'm not resenting

myself for it there have been so many

factors that I have had little to no

power over that have

made me an anxious person so I think I'm

always going to be a recovering social

anxiet which means that even when I'm

not feeling it even when things are

great I know that I'm going to go

through times where it's not and that is

okay it's part of me it's

fine I feel really lonely at times

[Music]

I don't

feel lonely when it comes

to my family my

friends I'm very lucky to have people in

my life

who care so deeply about me and I care

so deep about

them but I have been wondering if I have

ever been truly loved by a man I know

that I have been desired I know that I

have been wanted I know that I have gone

to experience so much romance and so

many beautiful things but

love have I been

loved the way that I love I can can't

speak for anyone else's feelings how

someone else has felt

but I can speak for how I have felt

and I don't think I have ever been loved

the way that I love and that can be a

pretty lonely place next

question I struggle with feeling

unaccomplished yeah this is

how do you guys deal with this I know

I'm not Al

loneliness I have always been this way

since I was a toddler is my guest that's

what Mom tells me where no matter how

good I was at something no matter what I

accomplished what I did I did not

celebrate it I did not feel like I

deserved to be praised or to be

congratulated or to be

admired for whatever it was that I did I

feel like I could definitely go to the

Moon come back and I would be like yeah

but the only reason I could do that is

because this person did that and they

helped me with that and these two things

just aligned so it was luck and also I'm

not the first person to go to the moon

so it's really not a big deal I feel

like that would definitely be how I

would reason with that but I'm not proud

of it I don't want to be that person I

so much admire people who Celebrate Life

who celebrate little wins who do the

smallest silliest thing but they do it

and then they go and have dinner with

friends to celebrate that they did that

thing I truly believe that is such a

important portion of a person's

happiness to be

honest

right the current downside of content

creation for

me when you film yourself like this for

years and you edit videos you know you

watch the same video a thousand times

you go over it again and again again you

see your face you see your face you see

your face you hear your voice you can

very easily fall into the deep deep hole

of nitpicking your appearance nitpicking

your face nitpicking the way that you

talk the way that you move the way that

you sit stand it can become quite dark

and I think it's quite unnatural to look

at yourself so much and I think

especially recently I have just been

nitpicking the

absolute out of myself just very

heavily very mean to myself at times

like the way that I would never speak to

someone else or even think of someone

else

I have had to acknowledge that I've done

to myself part of that I think is due

to just our social media climate at the

moment I think we have very much

normalized you know heavy editing heavy

plastic surgery altering our appearance

and now ai has come to the picture where

you see pictures of AI people who look

realistic but they're not but they look

absolutely perfect and stunning and so

so you're comparing yourself

to a very much madeup person who does

not exist who will never

exist I am envious of religious

[Music]

people I Have Become

increasingly curious and interested in

religion I don't know where I stand

which is why I don't really ever speak

on it it's something that I am

still sometimes learning about and

looking up and you know hearing people

talk about it I think the Envy part is

that it seems like such a meaningful way

to be so connected to something bigger

and to be so connected to the people in

your community and to have those people

that you

share strong values with I think today

it's quite difficult to find people who

share your values I think culturally

culturally culturally our values are

changing and some of us are keeping up

some of us are not and for that reason I

admire people who so strongly

believe and who find so much comfort and

love in their

Community oh wow we're ending on this

one no

okay we have no more

notes uh am I going to do this one okay

let's

see by far everything I've spoken about

so far this one is the one that is the

most out of my comfort

zone I actually think I have a good

singing voice

so I was thinking I was going to sing

for

you because my mom mom says I have a

good singing voice and in Mommy we

trust so before I sing some backstory I

am one of those annoying people who sing

all the time if I'm not singing I'm

humming if I'm not singing around you

I'm not comfortable around you because

if you are one of the people who are

close to me you will know that there is

always a Melody a song coming out of my

mouth I cannot help it I think it's I

don't even know

why but I do and it's

fun and I'm going to sing for you a

song that

I that I made up on a flight as we were

Landing so I think I was singing this

song for probably like 20 minutes until

we landed luckily planes are quite loud

so I don't think anyone was really

annoyed

okay let's go all right we're about to

reach our

destination so please keep your seat bu

on and keep it

fasten and keep it tight don't be

walking down the

aisle cuz we're on to fly

that was my song thank you for watching

please leave a comment about something

that you are not happy to admit I have

to go I'm so

embarrassed that was the point of the

video and I think I did it successfully

so talk to you soon